Monday, June 15, 2009

The Boat Septic Tank





The GIRI Septic Tank

Tom, Graham, Randy and I all gathered to pray. The GIRI Septic Tank had been with the boat before I had it. As my shit doesn't stink I blamed the previous owner. Maybe an errant guest ate alien burger. For a few years now I’ve not used the tank. I replaced it with an Electrosan Sewage Disposal System. Whatever was in the holding tank got forgotten. I’ve carried it with me through international waters for years. Whatever has been there has had a long time to percolate. And grow. And reproduce.

Today there was considerable speculation about black holes and night water. We considered alerting the university about the possibility of a new toxic Big Bang theory. When Tom began to cut around it with a saws all an instant exodus occurred. For awhile there as he used the side grinder, we all stood back with fire extinguishers thinking machine guns would have made more sense. What eventually came left Tom with the ability to glow in the dark. One splash of the waste bore clear through to China in seconds. If I’d been thinking economically I’d have sold the thing to the military. Before passing out Tom emptied a bottle of chorox into the thing. Graham argued for iodine. Randy had long gone claiming a desire to live. I was working outside the boat claiming the teak sanding was a high priority.

That the earth and galaxy still exist today seems likely a miracle. Billions don't know how close they came to annihilation. We figured the prayer saved the planet. If I hear from Tom and Graham in the morning I will be reassured. I did tell them that they probably shouldn’t consider having children. Carrying the waste out in buckets won out over suctioning as no one would volunteer to start the suction.

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