I'm rather happy today. I saw Dr. Alastair McLeod again. He's a really fine gentleman. He looked at my face. I'd stopped the Aldara 5% cream at his request 2 weeks ago. The inflammation settled on the polysporin cream. 2 weeks of waiting. Then thanks to Dr. Chalmers original reassurance and seeing Dr. McLeod I wasn't picking at my face or psychotic with anxiety.
No slabs of flesh and ripped muscle hung from my facial bones. I was being good and had gone to the high stress work without any major flareups. I'd not peed in corners or physically attacked strangers. None of the normal stress indicators had flared up, thanks to the excellent medical care I received from these grand men of medicine. Even doctors have trouble acting as if everything is normal in these abnormally unusual times.
"Well, let's see it," he said. He put his holy light in my face and looked at my skin like only a dermatologist can. "I think it's okay," he finally said.
I did my whooping, happy dance. Football players and basketball players have nothing on aging intellectuals prepared for death, being told they're going to live. It's brings out that "Elaine dance" thing from Jerry Seinfeld. Soon I was waltzing him round and round the waiting room, doing tango across the floor, back flipping chimpanzee style. That's when he brought in a little reality show to the Sermon on the Mount. He said he was just saying that "In my opinion, it's not cancer".
"Watch it till September and if it's continues to resolve, you're okay, otherwise you can come back and see me." It's really hardly a speck compared to the growing lump it was.
"Don't let anyone tell you that Psychiatrists and Dermatologists don't cure things." he said in parting.
I was really happy. Relieved indeed
.
Whatever it was, "it" had appeared to go away. Just like a bad house guest or one of those people who start to talk to you somewhere you were looking for peace a quiet.
Personally all of the following could have happened:
1) It was an hallucination of mine and I convinced several other doctors to join in the group hallucination, a folie e deux thing. My deep seated guilt about teen age masturbation had resulted in the psychoneurotic phenomena that caused projective identification in the doctors I consulted. It healed because I 'faced' my neurosis and brought my 'shame' to be shared.
2) Threatened by the 'knife' and emergency immuno response occured saving my face from mutilation.
2) The Aldara Cream 5%, (Imiquimod) known to be effective in the treatment of early basal cell carcinoma did the trick of stimulating my own self healing response to reject the cancer. We all have cancer cells that are being killed off routinely. This explains the common 30% spontanious healing response seen in all kinds of medicine.
3) My friends and myself praying for me contributed to the spiritual healing response. Some face 'demon' was exorcised.
4) I took time off from my very very very high stress job and read novels and bounced around on a boat at anchor far from the work 'front' , away from the battle noise of screaming and tears, away from sickness, misery, insaniety. Especially away from the 'anger' and entitlement. Especially far away from the Monday morning quaterbacks and all the countless regulators and judges and those who don't want to get their hands dirty but sure want to make their ridiculous marks by 'criticizing' those who do. I hung out with the dog and girl and rested. Rest is amazing for healing too.
5) Dr. Chalmers and Dr. McLeod are both true healers and their 'tools' of healing are just means whereby these great medicine men conceal their 'healing touch'. Both of them touched my face. Both of them spoke soothing hypnotic words to me. It was like treating Dr. Hoffer's patients. His vitamins were never 'proven' to work but I saw first hand that the man was a great healer and the patients he passed along to me and those I inheritted when he retired were living proof of his amazing healing abilities. I think often healers are just that and the meds and potions and blades and things aren't what is really doing the work. Healing is deeper in the relationship, at the level of empathy and experience.
6) It may come back. I might be hit by a bus before then. My friend Tom wants me to go up in his rebuilt antigue plane with him. Pay back from me getting him to sail back from Hawaii with me. Maybe I will have surgical solution hopefully bilaterally so the turkey neck can be tucked a bit. I could end up looking as good as Nick Nolte the way I'm going and I don't have his wisdom to go with the appearance of such. For now I'm utterly relieved.
7) I'm older and I'm feeling my age. Those of us still working feel the weight as it seems more and more are carried by fewer and fewer. But that's the tax burden and the failed economic systems. My anxiety about the future affected my health in the present and was a message to me to focus on the present where I can live with God. God has always taken care of me so I really needn't worry about tomorrow. Castastrophising and awfulizing don't help.
Thanks to all those who prayed, the well wishers and the friends and family. What a silly I am! Vanity, all is vanity.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Free Association and Psychiatrist "listening".
Patients have a sense that just talking to a counsellor is 'good'. True, a problem shared is usually halved. By linking up two computers there's greater potential for problem solving.
But lots of patients think that 'complaining', 'belly aching', "diatribing', 'singing the blues' etc is intrinsically beneficial. The problem with these patients is that they claim to seek 'professional help. They often say they want 'psychotherapy'. More often than not they have worn out their own resources. No one they know wants to listen to them go on and on about some 'sore' they are holding onto. The therapist becomes the 'new' terrain.
These patients commonly are seeking agreement. They have made up and closed minds and want others to agree with them, usually that they are 'hard done by', 'persecuted', 'belittled', and someone else is to 'blame'.
In conventional supportive psychotherapy and counselling such a person is helped gently by the counsellor to view their often extensive list of problems therapeutically. In the process of cognitive behaviour therapy the patient is taught some tools for dealing with their emotions and for problem solving. Bibliotherapy involves being advised to read a book and clearly only 'works' if the person follows through and reads the books. Those who benefit most from 'bibliotherapy' tend to be the best students and have greater 'learning' skills. Journalling is a common recommendation these days. It's extremely useful if a patient has a record of what they are concerned about and can discuss specifically 'events' and concerns with some reference to writing around the specific events. Often therapy is limitted by memory and journalling can improve on this obviously. These days its common to have therapists recommend meditation. I wrote papers on meditation back in the 80's so it's not new but definitely more popular. I was seen as a maverick in the old days and these days I feel boringly main stream.
None of this is 'free association' though. When I did psychanalytic psychotherapy the principal form of therapy used by the early analysts like Freud and Jung patients had to be 'taught' to 'free associate.' It was indeed a technique Freud developped having begun his work with hypnosis.
I encourage people to look at how this relexive process is different in kind and content from what people tend to think is counselling.
But lots of patients think that 'complaining', 'belly aching', "diatribing', 'singing the blues' etc is intrinsically beneficial. The problem with these patients is that they claim to seek 'professional help. They often say they want 'psychotherapy'. More often than not they have worn out their own resources. No one they know wants to listen to them go on and on about some 'sore' they are holding onto. The therapist becomes the 'new' terrain.
These patients commonly are seeking agreement. They have made up and closed minds and want others to agree with them, usually that they are 'hard done by', 'persecuted', 'belittled', and someone else is to 'blame'.
In conventional supportive psychotherapy and counselling such a person is helped gently by the counsellor to view their often extensive list of problems therapeutically. In the process of cognitive behaviour therapy the patient is taught some tools for dealing with their emotions and for problem solving. Bibliotherapy involves being advised to read a book and clearly only 'works' if the person follows through and reads the books. Those who benefit most from 'bibliotherapy' tend to be the best students and have greater 'learning' skills. Journalling is a common recommendation these days. It's extremely useful if a patient has a record of what they are concerned about and can discuss specifically 'events' and concerns with some reference to writing around the specific events. Often therapy is limitted by memory and journalling can improve on this obviously. These days its common to have therapists recommend meditation. I wrote papers on meditation back in the 80's so it's not new but definitely more popular. I was seen as a maverick in the old days and these days I feel boringly main stream.
None of this is 'free association' though. When I did psychanalytic psychotherapy the principal form of therapy used by the early analysts like Freud and Jung patients had to be 'taught' to 'free associate.' It was indeed a technique Freud developped having begun his work with hypnosis.
I encourage people to look at how this relexive process is different in kind and content from what people tend to think is counselling.
Sailing Howe Sound to Bowen, Gambier,and Keats Islands
Howe Sound begins at Point Atkinson which you can see from English Bay Vancouver. It's a point off West Vancouver. In years past it was excellent fishing too. Along the West Vancouver coast to Horseshoe Bay, Howe Sound opens up across from Bowen Island. Passage Island is a little island that sits at it's mouth.
There can be some significant inflow and outflow winds. Not uncommonly it's 15 to 25 knots though as often as not it's light and variable winds.
Going to Bowen Island I pass between Passage Island and Pt. Atkinson in the centre of the outflow of Howe Sound whereas going out to Georgia Strait from Bowen Island I pass between Passage Island and Bowen Island.
There are several excellent anchorages in this area. There are also several major marinas.
I've had work done on my boat in Eagle Harbour where the West Vancouver Yacht Club have their base. I was on the hard for a week once while my bottom was sand blasted and re expoxied.
My favourite destination is Snug Cove and Mannion Bay on Bowen Island. Union Steamship Company runs a marina with excellent facilities for sailors on Snug Cove. The summer rates at the dock for power and water run $1.50 a foot. There's showers, laundry and club house above the dockside chandlery.
Laura, Gilbert the dog, and I spent a few rainy days in Mannion Bay at anchor and enjoyed dinghying ashore in the new light weight Vancouver Boat Show Achilles dinghy with Yamaha 4hp ashore for fresh bread, milk and dog walks
Right on shore walking distance from dock there are several restaurants, cafe's and Doc's pub. Over the years I've heard some really fine local music at Doc's. Recently I brought my nephew Andrew and his friend here.
I've also stayed in the marina liking the staff and owner but mostly I like to anchor in Mannion Bay enjoying sleeping at anchor. It wasn't always like this, an acquired taste in deed. First time I remember hardly sleeping at all, simply unable to trust this rope umbilical cord.
There are great walks for the dog on Bowen Island and I've enjoyed summer entertainment events there, theater and concerts in the park at Snug Cove. The Natural food store at the top of the hill is very tasty and the market just below on the main ferry road has everything the heart could desire. As a commuter village for Vancouver it has fine fashions stores and general browsing places typical of island living.
The anchorages and marinas in Howe Sound are pretty well all protected from weather. The only mild downside is the rolling wake of the ferry traffic which is really insignificant considering all the positives here. In my sail boat Bowen destination is only a couple of hours from Vancouver motoring or sailing so it's a great outing for an overnight trip. All the others are less than a day's trip except maybe Squamish at the top of Howe Sound.
There's Horseshoe Bay further up West Vancouver coast. Here the big ferry heads out Victoria to the south. A smaller ferry goes north to Gibsons. Horseshoe Bay is a wonderful little town with all manner of tourist amenities. Bay Moorings is just one of the great restaurants there. I've stopped at the docks for meals ashore but haven't stayed over night here. though it's a terrific site for stopping over. Just across the way is Gambier Island where I also like to anchor. Halkett Bay Provincial Park is there.
I like to anchor on Gambier Island, even though thanks to years of logging I've tended to pull up some of the bottom with my anchor, old cables and such. Port Graves Bay and West Bay have been places I've stayed. I must have stayed in Centre Bay but don't remember it as well. There's no facilities at Halkett Bay or Port Graves Bay. There's a dock in West Bay but I can't recall going ashore here. I consider these also places to go when I may only be able to overnight before getting back to work. The harbours have always been well protected too. Camp Artaban the church camp is at the top of Port Graves. It's time to go back since it's been a few years since last I stopped over here.
Plumper Cove Marine Provincial Park is a favourite destination on Keat's Island. I've sailed and motored there. When I motor I tend to fish and have caught my share of salmon along the way. I commonly have stayed over night at Bowen after a day of work and then traveled the few hours further to Keats the next day arriving early. It's an easy trip for a Saturday overnighting a night and returning on a Sunday though I prefer a three day weekend to really enjoy it. The island has a great trail for hiking. It can be more crowded at times now. I remember it being a really quiet pleasant place but a couple of times in the summer recently it's had a lot of power boats out to party. There's also camping on the shore. Off season I find it better but it can't be beat in the summer sunshine. All the route there and back is really protected waters. I took my nephew Allan out to Keats when he visitted. Several times I've dinghied over to the sweet town of Gibson's too.
Squamish Harbour, the big town on the way to Whistler is at the top of Howe Sound. I've not been there by boat yet since it's at least a day's journey. I love Squamish though for all the times I've stopped there, climbed the Peak, or hunted in the surrounding area. I've sailed up to and anchored off Porteau Cove but not over night. I know Porteau Cove better from wreck scuba diving I've done there. I've also stopped there on motorcycle trips up the Sea to Sky highway. It's a real pretty place with well kept outdoor facilities.
Howe Sound is just so close to Vancouver. It's spectacular with eagles and sea dogs. I've seen dolphins in the waters too. It's really great for day sailing and has some extremely pleasant and varied anchorages. I can't count the times I've lingered in Howe Sound. Dozens of times at least. I don't think I'll ever tire of it. Having sailed to Mexico and Hawaii I appreciate it's charm even more.
There can be some significant inflow and outflow winds. Not uncommonly it's 15 to 25 knots though as often as not it's light and variable winds.
Going to Bowen Island I pass between Passage Island and Pt. Atkinson in the centre of the outflow of Howe Sound whereas going out to Georgia Strait from Bowen Island I pass between Passage Island and Bowen Island.
There are several excellent anchorages in this area. There are also several major marinas.
I've had work done on my boat in Eagle Harbour where the West Vancouver Yacht Club have their base. I was on the hard for a week once while my bottom was sand blasted and re expoxied.
My favourite destination is Snug Cove and Mannion Bay on Bowen Island. Union Steamship Company runs a marina with excellent facilities for sailors on Snug Cove. The summer rates at the dock for power and water run $1.50 a foot. There's showers, laundry and club house above the dockside chandlery.
Laura, Gilbert the dog, and I spent a few rainy days in Mannion Bay at anchor and enjoyed dinghying ashore in the new light weight Vancouver Boat Show Achilles dinghy with Yamaha 4hp ashore for fresh bread, milk and dog walks
Right on shore walking distance from dock there are several restaurants, cafe's and Doc's pub. Over the years I've heard some really fine local music at Doc's. Recently I brought my nephew Andrew and his friend here.
I've also stayed in the marina liking the staff and owner but mostly I like to anchor in Mannion Bay enjoying sleeping at anchor. It wasn't always like this, an acquired taste in deed. First time I remember hardly sleeping at all, simply unable to trust this rope umbilical cord.
There are great walks for the dog on Bowen Island and I've enjoyed summer entertainment events there, theater and concerts in the park at Snug Cove. The Natural food store at the top of the hill is very tasty and the market just below on the main ferry road has everything the heart could desire. As a commuter village for Vancouver it has fine fashions stores and general browsing places typical of island living.
The anchorages and marinas in Howe Sound are pretty well all protected from weather. The only mild downside is the rolling wake of the ferry traffic which is really insignificant considering all the positives here. In my sail boat Bowen destination is only a couple of hours from Vancouver motoring or sailing so it's a great outing for an overnight trip. All the others are less than a day's trip except maybe Squamish at the top of Howe Sound.
There's Horseshoe Bay further up West Vancouver coast. Here the big ferry heads out Victoria to the south. A smaller ferry goes north to Gibsons. Horseshoe Bay is a wonderful little town with all manner of tourist amenities. Bay Moorings is just one of the great restaurants there. I've stopped at the docks for meals ashore but haven't stayed over night here. though it's a terrific site for stopping over. Just across the way is Gambier Island where I also like to anchor. Halkett Bay Provincial Park is there.
I like to anchor on Gambier Island, even though thanks to years of logging I've tended to pull up some of the bottom with my anchor, old cables and such. Port Graves Bay and West Bay have been places I've stayed. I must have stayed in Centre Bay but don't remember it as well. There's no facilities at Halkett Bay or Port Graves Bay. There's a dock in West Bay but I can't recall going ashore here. I consider these also places to go when I may only be able to overnight before getting back to work. The harbours have always been well protected too. Camp Artaban the church camp is at the top of Port Graves. It's time to go back since it's been a few years since last I stopped over here.
Plumper Cove Marine Provincial Park is a favourite destination on Keat's Island. I've sailed and motored there. When I motor I tend to fish and have caught my share of salmon along the way. I commonly have stayed over night at Bowen after a day of work and then traveled the few hours further to Keats the next day arriving early. It's an easy trip for a Saturday overnighting a night and returning on a Sunday though I prefer a three day weekend to really enjoy it. The island has a great trail for hiking. It can be more crowded at times now. I remember it being a really quiet pleasant place but a couple of times in the summer recently it's had a lot of power boats out to party. There's also camping on the shore. Off season I find it better but it can't be beat in the summer sunshine. All the route there and back is really protected waters. I took my nephew Allan out to Keats when he visitted. Several times I've dinghied over to the sweet town of Gibson's too.
Squamish Harbour, the big town on the way to Whistler is at the top of Howe Sound. I've not been there by boat yet since it's at least a day's journey. I love Squamish though for all the times I've stopped there, climbed the Peak, or hunted in the surrounding area. I've sailed up to and anchored off Porteau Cove but not over night. I know Porteau Cove better from wreck scuba diving I've done there. I've also stopped there on motorcycle trips up the Sea to Sky highway. It's a real pretty place with well kept outdoor facilities.
Howe Sound is just so close to Vancouver. It's spectacular with eagles and sea dogs. I've seen dolphins in the waters too. It's really great for day sailing and has some extremely pleasant and varied anchorages. I can't count the times I've lingered in Howe Sound. Dozens of times at least. I don't think I'll ever tire of it. Having sailed to Mexico and Hawaii I appreciate it's charm even more.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Red Rock Crab Feast
One crab might not be a feast to others but it sure was to me. I'd put my crab trap out with a can of dog food Gilbert doesn't like the day before. Unfortunate for the crab the dog food brand was appealing to him. It was Snug Cove. About 50 feet down. I remember catching lots of crab here a decade or so back but the last times I put out a crab net I got it back empty.
This fellow, since the male's belly looks thinner like a lighthouse, whereas the female's belly looks like a beehive, measured across the back 180 mm . It must be 115 mm to be legal
I boiled up my biggest pot half full of water with a couple of tsp of salt. Gettting the crab off the net is a challenge since I've known the power of the claws and don't wish to experience that pain again. This time I was able to shake him out on the deck and pick him up with a couple of serving spoons. He died on contact with the boiling water. No scream. I think it's the lobster that screams. This guy just boiled turning brighter red while I heated up butter in a pan adding some lemon.
10 to 15 minutes cooking for large crabs. 8-10 minutes for smaller. I chose 10 minutes for this guy. I took the crab out and put him on a plate before I settled in with a pair of industrial pliars. I looked but couldn't find my crab picks and crackers. I couldn't find nut crackers either. After I washed the pliars off they worked just fine.
Gilbert found the whole process very entertaining but wasn't getting any. The hazards of being a dog. He did get to lick up the butter dish and frying pan I'd used for the butter.
Meanwhile I was immediately into the big claws, cracking and digging out meat. I shared the first with Laura who is relatively squeamish about fresh killed things. She loved the taste but said she'd settle for an avocado sandwich while I settled into cracking crab and digging out meat. It was delicious. De-licious! After I was done and the plate was a pile of shell and guts I remembered to say grace. I thanked the crab for it's sacrifice and felt renewed in the direct experience of life.
This fellow, since the male's belly looks thinner like a lighthouse, whereas the female's belly looks like a beehive, measured across the back 180 mm . It must be 115 mm to be legal
I boiled up my biggest pot half full of water with a couple of tsp of salt. Gettting the crab off the net is a challenge since I've known the power of the claws and don't wish to experience that pain again. This time I was able to shake him out on the deck and pick him up with a couple of serving spoons. He died on contact with the boiling water. No scream. I think it's the lobster that screams. This guy just boiled turning brighter red while I heated up butter in a pan adding some lemon.
10 to 15 minutes cooking for large crabs. 8-10 minutes for smaller. I chose 10 minutes for this guy. I took the crab out and put him on a plate before I settled in with a pair of industrial pliars. I looked but couldn't find my crab picks and crackers. I couldn't find nut crackers either. After I washed the pliars off they worked just fine.
Gilbert found the whole process very entertaining but wasn't getting any. The hazards of being a dog. He did get to lick up the butter dish and frying pan I'd used for the butter.
Meanwhile I was immediately into the big claws, cracking and digging out meat. I shared the first with Laura who is relatively squeamish about fresh killed things. She loved the taste but said she'd settle for an avocado sandwich while I settled into cracking crab and digging out meat. It was delicious. De-licious! After I was done and the plate was a pile of shell and guts I remembered to say grace. I thanked the crab for it's sacrifice and felt renewed in the direct experience of life.
Monday, July 2, 2012
SV GIRI - Bowen Island - Journal Day 5
I think we've done even less today if that's possible. After I got up I prayed and meditated. Had some coffee. Had some more coffee. Read some Johnson. Got back into Bangkok Tattoo. I've been reading that all day thinking it's a lot like Carl Hiasson only to see that Carl Hiasson has written on the cover his applause for John Burdett. Lots of irony and humanity.
Laura made bacon sandwhiches sometime in the morning. We ate the grapes we picked up in the market yesterday. The market bread from the whole food store on Bowen is really scrumptuous. That was the big event yesterday. Dinghying ashore and going for a walk in the forest near town, getting some pictures of the fish ladder, shopping for butter, milk and bread. Laura got Gilbert some more milk bones. I filled my jug of water at the Union Steamship Wharf. I'd like to come back some time and stay at the dock, hook up to water and electricity. Right now I'm enjoying anchoring.
We watched some episodes of Outcasts last night.
But today it's been raining all day. I've been eating fruit and reading. Laura washed and I showered. I thought with us clean we could consider bathing Gilbert but he voted against that and Laura stood with him. I figured best to conserve water.
I've just been running the generator to charge the laptop and cell phones. We've been checking emails and facebook. Dad's been at the hospital ER with a UTI. My brother's been keeping me updated.
Otherwise its been really busy. Lots of disco dancing, rocket launching and fireworks with orgies and brass bands and helicopters. All the stuff of country living. Bowen Island crime rate with heavy duty murder and prostitution and hurricanes and tsunamis and maybe one dead goldfish flushed down the toilet. It's really appeallingly boring here.
The geese came by to peck on the side of the boat wanting some bread crumbs. I gave them some. They'll be back. They make the rounds.
That's about it. We have to think about dinner. I have to get the crab trap in. Maybe take Gilbert to the beach. Tomorrow we head back. It's about time. I've forgotten what work is like. I might start thinking up chores and planning activities. Maybe do push ups and sit ups.
I shaved. I remembered to shave. That's right
. That's somethin
g I did today. .
Laura made bacon sandwhiches sometime in the morning. We ate the grapes we picked up in the market yesterday. The market bread from the whole food store on Bowen is really scrumptuous. That was the big event yesterday. Dinghying ashore and going for a walk in the forest near town, getting some pictures of the fish ladder, shopping for butter, milk and bread. Laura got Gilbert some more milk bones. I filled my jug of water at the Union Steamship Wharf. I'd like to come back some time and stay at the dock, hook up to water and electricity. Right now I'm enjoying anchoring.
We watched some episodes of Outcasts last night.
But today it's been raining all day. I've been eating fruit and reading. Laura washed and I showered. I thought with us clean we could consider bathing Gilbert but he voted against that and Laura stood with him. I figured best to conserve water.
I've just been running the generator to charge the laptop and cell phones. We've been checking emails and facebook. Dad's been at the hospital ER with a UTI. My brother's been keeping me updated.
Otherwise its been really busy. Lots of disco dancing, rocket launching and fireworks with orgies and brass bands and helicopters. All the stuff of country living. Bowen Island crime rate with heavy duty murder and prostitution and hurricanes and tsunamis and maybe one dead goldfish flushed down the toilet. It's really appeallingly boring here.
The geese came by to peck on the side of the boat wanting some bread crumbs. I gave them some. They'll be back. They make the rounds.
That's about it. We have to think about dinner. I have to get the crab trap in. Maybe take Gilbert to the beach. Tomorrow we head back. It's about time. I've forgotten what work is like. I might start thinking up chores and planning activities. Maybe do push ups and sit ups.
I shaved. I remembered to shave. That's right
. That's something I did today. .
Armageddon and Canada Day
Just last week several people from disparate walks of life talked to me about the alpha and omega. They were concerned about world catastrophe, market crashes and end of the world scenarios. They're mainstream moderates. The crazies are getting to them.
I've never been the same since the Kennedy Missile Crisis. Having some crazy woman tell us to practice getting under our desks or lining up ass to nose with other grade school students curled in a ball against the hall walls took away my trust in the world.
Yet that was so many decades ago and we've not blown ourselves up. Fact is we're doing pretty good. I reassure people mostly. I am a survivalist. I'm prepared in so many ways for Armageddon, wilderness medicine doc, off shore sailor, hunter, fisher, homesteader, scientist, a whole collection of skills that don't help too much in the economic world today but would make me a much sought after somebody post apocalypse.
We just watched the tv series, post Terrorist nuclear bombing of American cities, Jericho. Great show of best case scenario, all the bad stuff, gangs, rape and cannibalism happening with Shakespearean delicassey off stage. It was a terrific show with great characters and really deep community and family relationship writing. Now we're watching the Outcasts, an English series , post apocalyptic about a new home for the earthlings who escaped the troubles and now are trying to survive on the planet Carpathia. Great story, great acting.
Good entertainment.
The Jihads were going on in the time of crusades. The Chinese have been a war threat as long but their inherrent capitalism goes against the waste of all out war. We had the Cold War with Russia and the West and now we have gangsterism around the world and competing arms dealers among the world's leading countries. It's just franchises and business as usual. Nothing terribly noble in sales since 'Death of a Salesman'. The company doesn't take care of the workers even as well as feudal times which we call the dark ages but were they. There's aloneliness and fear today that probably wasn't present when everyone knew each other from childhood..
A time of strangers. People don't even want to know what they eat and it's not even Solyent Green yet.
I stood in the rubble of the Armageddon dig in Israel. I think all Christians and Jews should pilgrimage there. Armageddon was a town at one time before it became a symbol. It lasted a long time as long as any town did in the days of war lords. Now we have cities that are beyond anything that went before. It's hard to destroy cities. Look at London. Berlin is rebuilt.. Jerusalem and Mecca still stand. Even Athens is muddling along. I love Mexico City, New York and Tokyo, and Hong Kong
What concerns me is those who say that humans are the parasites on the planet and should be wiped out. These are the eco terrorist suicide bomber ideas. Kill the humans to save the mosquitos and cockroaches. That's the nihilism that worries me.
There's a self loathing today and a denigration of human life. it's like the Holocaust reductionism of prisoners as bar codes. With all the reality tv we're plagued with superstitions about Ghaia some earth goddess who sacrifices herself on the cross till one day she dies. Forgive me but the earth has withstood far more than a few hydro carbons. Men and women, children, and the sick will die alot sooner. I don't think the planet huggers even care for their own and people who don't care for their own can't be trusted to care for each other.
Maltheus said that starvation, war and disease were the great correctors to human advance. Just when Europe seemed as bad as the west was today Columbus and Marco Polo opened trade globally. North America was as far fetched an idea then as Mars expedition and sentient dolphins are today.
I believe. I have hope. If Armageddon were just around the corner I think we all would have gone down in the Kennedy Missile Crisis or what the heck, maybe even the Rwanda Massacres. That's more of what we need to be afraid of. The Vancouver Riots over a hockey game speak to the mentality of the sports page whereas hundreds of thousands of Canadians were well behaved on Canada day. That's politics and community. .
We've got to get beyond playing games and realize Armageddon has come and gone. That said there's a spirituality to living and spirituality is all about growing love within and celebrating life.
I've never been the same since the Kennedy Missile Crisis. Having some crazy woman tell us to practice getting under our desks or lining up ass to nose with other grade school students curled in a ball against the hall walls took away my trust in the world.
Yet that was so many decades ago and we've not blown ourselves up. Fact is we're doing pretty good. I reassure people mostly. I am a survivalist. I'm prepared in so many ways for Armageddon, wilderness medicine doc, off shore sailor, hunter, fisher, homesteader, scientist, a whole collection of skills that don't help too much in the economic world today but would make me a much sought after somebody post apocalypse.
We just watched the tv series, post Terrorist nuclear bombing of American cities, Jericho. Great show of best case scenario, all the bad stuff, gangs, rape and cannibalism happening with Shakespearean delicassey off stage. It was a terrific show with great characters and really deep community and family relationship writing. Now we're watching the Outcasts, an English series , post apocalyptic about a new home for the earthlings who escaped the troubles and now are trying to survive on the planet Carpathia. Great story, great acting.
Good entertainment.
The Jihads were going on in the time of crusades. The Chinese have been a war threat as long but their inherrent capitalism goes against the waste of all out war. We had the Cold War with Russia and the West and now we have gangsterism around the world and competing arms dealers among the world's leading countries. It's just franchises and business as usual. Nothing terribly noble in sales since 'Death of a Salesman'. The company doesn't take care of the workers even as well as feudal times which we call the dark ages but were they. There's aloneliness and fear today that probably wasn't present when everyone knew each other from childhood..
A time of strangers. People don't even want to know what they eat and it's not even Solyent Green yet.
I stood in the rubble of the Armageddon dig in Israel. I think all Christians and Jews should pilgrimage there. Armageddon was a town at one time before it became a symbol. It lasted a long time as long as any town did in the days of war lords. Now we have cities that are beyond anything that went before. It's hard to destroy cities. Look at London. Berlin is rebuilt.. Jerusalem and Mecca still stand. Even Athens is muddling along. I love Mexico City, New York and Tokyo, and Hong Kong
What concerns me is those who say that humans are the parasites on the planet and should be wiped out. These are the eco terrorist suicide bomber ideas. Kill the humans to save the mosquitos and cockroaches. That's the nihilism that worries me.
There's a self loathing today and a denigration of human life. it's like the Holocaust reductionism of prisoners as bar codes. With all the reality tv we're plagued with superstitions about Ghaia some earth goddess who sacrifices herself on the cross till one day she dies. Forgive me but the earth has withstood far more than a few hydro carbons. Men and women, children, and the sick will die alot sooner. I don't think the planet huggers even care for their own and people who don't care for their own can't be trusted to care for each other.
Maltheus said that starvation, war and disease were the great correctors to human advance. Just when Europe seemed as bad as the west was today Columbus and Marco Polo opened trade globally. North America was as far fetched an idea then as Mars expedition and sentient dolphins are today.
I believe. I have hope. If Armageddon were just around the corner I think we all would have gone down in the Kennedy Missile Crisis or what the heck, maybe even the Rwanda Massacres. That's more of what we need to be afraid of. The Vancouver Riots over a hockey game speak to the mentality of the sports page whereas hundreds of thousands of Canadians were well behaved on Canada day. That's politics and community. .
We've got to get beyond playing games and realize Armageddon has come and gone. That said there's a spirituality to living and spirituality is all about growing love within and celebrating life.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Generalization, Discrimination and Discernment
There is always just me and the other. I can call the other 'God' or I can call the other "it'. When I'm afraid I tend to think of the other as "it' whereas when I'm filled with love I think of the other as God.
To discriminate against certain people I must consider them in a group rather than as an individual. So I might think "Jews are bad". Hitler thought that. It would be convenient if the world was just black and white. Jay Lifton described the black and white world of war politics. Us and them. But reality isn't like that. I know really great Jews and only a couple of really bad Jews. One of my favourite and closest mentors was Dr. Jack Hildes. He sits right next to Dr. Carl Ridd in my heirarchy of most influential humans on my life.
The Klu Klux Klan said blacks are bad. My childhood doctor was a black man. He was good. My Chicago friends are black and they're good. I know one incredible asshole who is black but he's probably the 'exception that proves the world".
I've Indians in my family and we grew up together summers hunting,fishing, hiking and doing stupid boy things. Like competing pissing off docks and seeing who could fart loudest. They're great guys. But I've heard people say Indians are bad.They're wrong.
They are as wrong as the people who say whites are bad.I'm white and on my worst day I've only been half bad though others say I exaggerate. Mostly like most people I'm doing my best to be good.
Psychopaths aren't inherrently 'bad'. They just lack compassion, are so afraid they don't know the depth of their cowardice and can think of no one else but themselves because of their poverty and isolation of spirit. Because of this they do bad things.
Sociopaths are groups that are at variance with the larger group and generally don't feel that the laws apply to them but are happy to be 'takers' and break the rules. They're not bad. They're more often sad. Like racoons in the chicken coup. If you're raising chickens and have taken it upon yourself to provide and protect chickens and their chicks then you simply have to keep out the racoons or kill the ones that get in. It's not so much 'good or bad' but just business. Darwin had something to say about this but one does all they can to avoid killing because its wasteful unless of course you like eating racoon. Personally I prefer chicken.
Alot of people are fooled into believing that individuals in groups are bad because they perceive the group to be bad. Hence we have the term 'banksters' which I use to refer to bad 'bankers'. But my banker, Lloyd, was a great man. He helped me immensely when I needed help. Nigel Ferguson wrote about money and banks and did a fine job of dispelling the ignorance that so quickly falls prey to paranoia. There's a lot of paranoia being parlayed about as reasonable these days.
I like to lump beaurocrats into a group and blame the problems of Canada for instance on too much dead weight in administration. I like to knock administrators too. I do this and should be more ashamed of myself for it. I'm actually an administrator in my own company and frankly I'm not very good at it. So here I am questioning those well above my pay grade when I haven't got my own affairs well in order. My brother is an administrator and I highly admire his organization and ability to 'account' for his finances in a way I never had. He was the kid with the piggy bank growing up. Later he'd have a filing cabinet in his bed room. He counted his pennies and the dollars took care of themselves. I'm still struggling to balance my cheque book. I know too that those who are most critical of the money managers and administrators and bankers probably themselves are least competent with managing their own affairs. I know alot of great 'spenders' who think everyone else should 'give' to them.
We tend to blame others. We tend to externalize problems.
I like to blame lawyers alot too. The trouble is I've got a whole collection of lawyers as friends. I went to school with some really great girls who became lawyers. These girls were the best thing next to home made pie. Really good people and they worked their lives as lawyers. So how can lawyers be bad. Obviously some can but not all.
I know a judge today that couldn't find his ass with both hands. He's as stupid as the stupidist person I have ever met. He has no respect for money and was either intentionally or unintentionally acting utterly naive about corruption. He was so stupid I was left with the impression he just had to be utterly corrupt because I couldn't imagine a judge as stupid as he was. He was an exception to prove the rule too. I've lunched with judges and known judges personally I would have trusted my dog with. I don't trust my dog with just anyone and these men and women were the finest sort of people I could hope to meet snywhere. And one bad judge doesn't spoil the barrel.
I've met three prime ministers, have a friend who is a congressman, know a few senators and several more politicians personally. They are all individually extraordinary and wonderful people. No doubt they have their moments. As kids they probably competed in fart contests too.
I even know a good feminist and I think all feminists lack a sense of humor, take themselves too seriously, externalize all their problems , do more harm than good, are very angry and self centered. The trouble is my feminist friend is a relative saint and her work for international women is as admirable as my other friend who works with a spy agency trying to keep terrorists from blowing up innocent people taking a bus to work.
I don't like communists either except that my communist friend is one of the funniest brightest most loving persons in the world. They are as troubling to me as my radical right wing friend who goes off the deep end when they get in the same room with the commie, the two of them almost at each others throats unable to speak or act civilly if the topic of politcs comes up. Leave that out of the equation and the two are the best neighbours I know.
Generalizations are a way the mind tries to reduce the complexity of the world down to sound bites and bits that the little human mind can handle. The littler the mind the littler the bite sizes. Discrimination depends on ignorance. It depends on generalization. It's driven by fear.
Discernment is the operation of love which says that I don't want a 3 year old driving the car but I can have Johnny who is 14 driving the tractor because Johnny is mature for his age and the rule about what age a person should drive is a generalization. In a public space I will agree to such generalizations but in a private space I will use discernment to arrive at the judgements I need to make mostly about individuals, not groups.
I like to think Discernment is God centred too. And by the way people who don't love dogs should be lined up and shot with toy water guns and beat with wet noodles till they see the truth.
To discriminate against certain people I must consider them in a group rather than as an individual. So I might think "Jews are bad". Hitler thought that. It would be convenient if the world was just black and white. Jay Lifton described the black and white world of war politics. Us and them. But reality isn't like that. I know really great Jews and only a couple of really bad Jews. One of my favourite and closest mentors was Dr. Jack Hildes. He sits right next to Dr. Carl Ridd in my heirarchy of most influential humans on my life.
The Klu Klux Klan said blacks are bad. My childhood doctor was a black man. He was good. My Chicago friends are black and they're good. I know one incredible asshole who is black but he's probably the 'exception that proves the world".
I've Indians in my family and we grew up together summers hunting,fishing, hiking and doing stupid boy things. Like competing pissing off docks and seeing who could fart loudest. They're great guys. But I've heard people say Indians are bad.They're wrong.
They are as wrong as the people who say whites are bad.I'm white and on my worst day I've only been half bad though others say I exaggerate. Mostly like most people I'm doing my best to be good.
Psychopaths aren't inherrently 'bad'. They just lack compassion, are so afraid they don't know the depth of their cowardice and can think of no one else but themselves because of their poverty and isolation of spirit. Because of this they do bad things.
Sociopaths are groups that are at variance with the larger group and generally don't feel that the laws apply to them but are happy to be 'takers' and break the rules. They're not bad. They're more often sad. Like racoons in the chicken coup. If you're raising chickens and have taken it upon yourself to provide and protect chickens and their chicks then you simply have to keep out the racoons or kill the ones that get in. It's not so much 'good or bad' but just business. Darwin had something to say about this but one does all they can to avoid killing because its wasteful unless of course you like eating racoon. Personally I prefer chicken.
Alot of people are fooled into believing that individuals in groups are bad because they perceive the group to be bad. Hence we have the term 'banksters' which I use to refer to bad 'bankers'. But my banker, Lloyd, was a great man. He helped me immensely when I needed help. Nigel Ferguson wrote about money and banks and did a fine job of dispelling the ignorance that so quickly falls prey to paranoia. There's a lot of paranoia being parlayed about as reasonable these days.
I like to lump beaurocrats into a group and blame the problems of Canada for instance on too much dead weight in administration. I like to knock administrators too. I do this and should be more ashamed of myself for it. I'm actually an administrator in my own company and frankly I'm not very good at it. So here I am questioning those well above my pay grade when I haven't got my own affairs well in order. My brother is an administrator and I highly admire his organization and ability to 'account' for his finances in a way I never had. He was the kid with the piggy bank growing up. Later he'd have a filing cabinet in his bed room. He counted his pennies and the dollars took care of themselves. I'm still struggling to balance my cheque book. I know too that those who are most critical of the money managers and administrators and bankers probably themselves are least competent with managing their own affairs. I know alot of great 'spenders' who think everyone else should 'give' to them.
We tend to blame others. We tend to externalize problems.
I like to blame lawyers alot too. The trouble is I've got a whole collection of lawyers as friends. I went to school with some really great girls who became lawyers. These girls were the best thing next to home made pie. Really good people and they worked their lives as lawyers. So how can lawyers be bad. Obviously some can but not all.
I know a judge today that couldn't find his ass with both hands. He's as stupid as the stupidist person I have ever met. He has no respect for money and was either intentionally or unintentionally acting utterly naive about corruption. He was so stupid I was left with the impression he just had to be utterly corrupt because I couldn't imagine a judge as stupid as he was. He was an exception to prove the rule too. I've lunched with judges and known judges personally I would have trusted my dog with. I don't trust my dog with just anyone and these men and women were the finest sort of people I could hope to meet snywhere. And one bad judge doesn't spoil the barrel.
I've met three prime ministers, have a friend who is a congressman, know a few senators and several more politicians personally. They are all individually extraordinary and wonderful people. No doubt they have their moments. As kids they probably competed in fart contests too.
I even know a good feminist and I think all feminists lack a sense of humor, take themselves too seriously, externalize all their problems , do more harm than good, are very angry and self centered. The trouble is my feminist friend is a relative saint and her work for international women is as admirable as my other friend who works with a spy agency trying to keep terrorists from blowing up innocent people taking a bus to work.
I don't like communists either except that my communist friend is one of the funniest brightest most loving persons in the world. They are as troubling to me as my radical right wing friend who goes off the deep end when they get in the same room with the commie, the two of them almost at each others throats unable to speak or act civilly if the topic of politcs comes up. Leave that out of the equation and the two are the best neighbours I know.
Generalizations are a way the mind tries to reduce the complexity of the world down to sound bites and bits that the little human mind can handle. The littler the mind the littler the bite sizes. Discrimination depends on ignorance. It depends on generalization. It's driven by fear.
Discernment is the operation of love which says that I don't want a 3 year old driving the car but I can have Johnny who is 14 driving the tractor because Johnny is mature for his age and the rule about what age a person should drive is a generalization. In a public space I will agree to such generalizations but in a private space I will use discernment to arrive at the judgements I need to make mostly about individuals, not groups.
I like to think Discernment is God centred too. And by the way people who don't love dogs should be lined up and shot with toy water guns and beat with wet noodles till they see the truth.
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