Today I’m asking God what is his will for me and how may I carry that out. I am ready to help. I have been of service most of my life. However though I’ve volunteered and worked for free I’ve often negotiated income and recognition for what I wanted to spiritually do. Being a doctor is an example. I was able to follow my scientific curiosity while being of service to my fellow man. I’ve been a clinician
Now I’m continuing to work being of service to my patients who principally want me to provide medications to help with their life and illness. I know the medication. In that I feel like a Lordco Parts guy. I don’t think of myself self working for Pfizer or one of the pharmaceutical companies like a car salesman but rather the guy in the mall who works for the automotive industry. A person comes to the mall and I tell them which car will fit their needs and is what they are looking for. I aim to please the ‘customer’. In that I have customers. Today I don’t work much different than I did as a family physician though my focus is mind, emotions, cognition, that sort of things. I’m not dealing with dermatology much.
I left family medicine and attracted to psychiatry for many reasons but one was the idea of mind or matter and healing through relationships and talking. Today I still do ‘relationships therapy’ and ‘communication therapy’, ‘motivational therapy’ some CBT but I don’t do the psychoanalysis and Freudian Jungian analysis that i was attracted to. I loved seeing the persons’ self healing capacity awakened in that mysterious process. Now it’s still healing without the woo woo or hypnosis as that’s what I did too. I am now working at a distance through video and phone like the old northern days when I communicated with radio phone. I see miraculous cures. I love that so many of my patients are getting sober and changing their lifestyles. I’m helping change the self talk. The depressions are improving, the anxiety are reduced, People are going back to work and school
I have these people who are isolated - the chronic self centered staying in their home safe on disability or welfare or rarely independently wealthy mostly supported by family. It’s kind of idyllic . So many seek this, like retirement yet they maintain that they are ‘suffering’ and want to be rewarded with attention. The reward for them was rest and now they want more rest like the king. Serve me. Narcisisism but it’s packaged in suffering. The worried well. There are those who do suffer. Then there’s the drug addicts doing the same . All the mental masturbation. But no self esteem. No feeling good because a days work was done. No feeling connected because service to another was done. Minimalists regarding work. All the entertainment devices. Yet complaining. Always complaining. And angry if the suggestion is made to change. Change is what they say they want but is anathema because they are scared. No doubt they are hurt. They’re waiting to di. I loved Freud’s idea of the ‘thanatos’ death wish. No differrnt really than being in the clutches of satan. Like Leonard Cohen would say, new skin for an old ceremony
Yet here we are walking each other home. I’m learning kindness. I liked Goldman’s book. Kindness.
I liked the TV series ‘house’ and surely identify with the doctor.
I miss old friends and wives and family. There’s loneliness with aging. I d like to ask her what she remembered of the pivotal time. I don’t know what we were arguing about any more. I loved them all as I was able.
Yet i was moved to go west. Leaving Winnipeg. That was so important. I’m come from the East and moved on. Sailing was so important. Hunting. Homesteading. All were important. Learning skills as a healer and doctor were critical. Studying shamanism. Studying chemistry. Studying religions and spirituality.
I want to take another Oxford course on spirituality. Perhaps in the spring. I am reading neurochemistry but I feel going reading spirituality.
All is good. All is God. I’m blessed to have my dog. I love this motorhome. I would liked to be on the move. Laura is my anchor The clinic is too. I’ve made commitments and they’re in place another year.
I’m seeing about my eyes in a week or two. I’m ready to move south. I’m liking being a snowbird but I’m anxious about the journey. I wonder about the sedentary folk. Four five days I’m going to be like the truckers who drive for a living. It’s better planned .This is my fourth snowbird journey,. Once with Laura over Christmas. Down to Mexico with Gilbert I traded my Miata in for the Mini to be able to do that trip. Then with Madigan I made the trip to Yuma with the Mini. Last year I took the truck and camper and Madigan. This year I’m going in the Thor Motorhome I have bought for this. I live in the motorhome year round now but its joy is in its mobility. I have the Fuzion Fifth Wheel RV with lots of space and much appeal but I never learned the skills to tow such a big rig. I called tow trucks instead. Now I’m driving this big rig with increasing confidence. I drove my truck and camper to Ottawa and back in the spring after I returned from Southern California hot springs.
I’m really looking forward to Fountain of Youth hot spring. My back is improving each year. I could hardly walk the year I drove the mini down. Going to the washroom at truck stops was excruciatingly painful. Sciatica and sadness. Now this fall I was able to walk on uneven ground hunting and having been walking 3500 steps daily. I’ve even been doing the Foundation Series of exercises and the chiropractor helps. Self care for the body is important. I swam twice a week till this year. Now I’m swimming only every 2 weeks. I’d like to swim more and exercise more. Dancing would be good.
My health is good. I’m truly blessed. Thank you Jesus.
I have few things to do
Eye examination
Clear out hunting and shooting material from Thor to be safe crossing border
Trip to storage lockers to leave unnecessary weight, one lawn chair.
I would have liked to have my fire pit from the camper but I don’t know if I’ll make it to Chilliwack . I’ll be speaking to Kevin about the repairs on the Camper and hope to be fishing in the spring
I am intent on gretting back to music. I have my hamm radio and want to return to that as well. I love my AA connection but need to do more with my church and religion. I’ve a visit to the clinic to fulfill some work obligations.
I am very blessed. Thank you God for all your creation, you care and concern , the love I feel at times as your child. Thank you for the work and home. Mental health is the ability to work, love and play. Thank you for these abilities. Help me know joy. Guide me . Holy Spirit come.
Laura is coming to day and I’m so pleased., Thge world is even better with her presence. Madigan is so happy. I’m content to be of service. I’ve stocked the fridge and freezer and have meals planned. Steak tonight. I like barbecuing for two. I have a bit of disorder here and hope with travelling to become more organized .That certainly was the case with sailing. I have some stowing to do
Thank you God for all your bounty. Thank you for air and Colour and life.
Thank you Jesus.
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