Good News, Opthalmology Clinic

Gospel means ‘good news’.  The message of Jesus was that there was life after death and we could be saved if we believed in him, God and resurrection.  If we have faith we would be saved.  The teaching of religion before that had been fairly neurotics sometimes less than enthusiastic.  The underworld was often less than appealing and not so easily escape from.  Christianity said that the bad went to hell for a long time but that they could nevertheless ascend to paradise.  Jesus opened the jails so to speak for all who wished to leave that life. Indeed some have thoughts this middle world was held itself and Jesus definitely said it didn’t have to be.  

Today we believe that God is a loving God. We believe in heaven and even heaven on earth. That the spiritual world is a matter of thought and focus and belief.  Cognitive behaviour therapy teaches ‘what we think is what we feel’.  The spiritual law of attraction says that God gives us more of what we focus on. So if we focus on loss we attract more loss but if we focus on gratitude we attract positive.

The trouble is that spirituality has the potential for even more egocentricity when the essence of acceptance and surrender and the understanding of first cause and trusting the loving God is ‘thy will be done’.  Grace.  Not works so much but grace.

I learned yesterday that my eyes were unchanged from last year and I didn’t need surgery this year. Indeed the good news was that the next appointment was recommended at a year and a half rather than 6 months.  My eyes sight was 20/25 in both eyes and I could continue to drive my motorcycle and my motorhome.  Dr. McKay was happy too.  He was reassuring and smiled.  

My joy was almost childish.  I really could relate to John Mayor’s song lyrics “i want to run through the halls of the school.’  I was hearing the song ‘celebrate’ inside and trying to talk normally like and adult with this other doctor who’d just given me a ‘get out of jail free’ card.  His smile was kind and I babbled thanks and praise and he continued on to see his next patient.  Laura had come to meet me at the Broadway Clinic, across the street from my old clinic in the Fairmont Willow location.  I was so thankful to have this beautiful friend waiting to be my eyes and drive us home.  We walked outside  and my chest was bursting and gravity didn’t seem so great.  She was smiling.  I was so thankful.

I had spoke with my friend Mac, another psychiatrist . I ‘d met him through Madeleine, the beautiful and brilliant internists who’d doctored at the Himalayan base camp given her love of hiking.  When I’d told Mack that I’d asked the opthalmomolgists who’d first examined my eyes and said that I had ‘mild cataracts’. “Will I still be able to ride my motorcycle.”  The doctor had said yes and then I’d felt this guilt that I’d not thought about whether I could see babies giggling, dogs chasing their tales, the eyes of of beautiful women in love, the snow on mountain peaks or the rippled of the sun over the breaking waves at sea.  No first i cared about motorcycling.  Mack with his grey white bearddd and laughing eyes had replied that’s exactly what happened when I had to see the doctor about cataracts.  “Will I still be able to ride my motorcycle.’  We laughed.  And yes I asked Dr. McKay will I still be able to ride my motorcycle and drive my motorhome.  Yes, he’d said. And the joy welled up in side.

It’s such joy to ride a motorcycle.  The song comes back , “I don’t want a pickle, I just want to ride on my motorcycle.!!”

A patient had called me the day before wanting to share that the false allegation made against her and her partner had been cleared by the crown.  In Canada, as it slips more to communism and collectivism the re is a rise in ‘proxy violence’.  Accusing the negibhour of any transgression is without consequences.  The State encourages witnesses.  First it was ‘hot lines’ and now it’s all out. She’d argued with her neighbour in the housing district and next day police arrived and her and her boyfriend were arrested based on ‘charges’ .  Everyone knew the accusers was a neighbourhood bully , the perpetual victim, frequent flier accusing neighbours whenever she couldn’t get her way. But the police had this matter of  due process and the charges were serious. My patient and her partner could go to jail They both hired very good lawyers and everyone said it was going to be okay.  And 11 months later the ‘crown’ closed the case because of the lack of evidence and because this woman is a ‘frequent flyer’.  

“I feel like I’ve been in jail this whole time. I’ve been so anxious and so angry. I felt so badly .  Now I feel like I’ve been let out of jail. I feel so good.  We’re off to dinner to celebrate. I just wanted to let you know and thank you for being so supportive.”

I had tremendous support too.  Not just Mac but at least a dozen other men and women I go to meetings and church with hand listened as I shyly expressed my concerns.  My friend George who loves to drive his little red Corvctte and waxes poetic about Route 66 singing refrains of Beach Boys songs as he does, had himself has cataracts surgery and said it had been okay. He could see better and his eyesight for driving was secured.  

Laura told me about her friend who said  her cataract had been removed with lazer surgery and it was like someone ‘had washed all the windows in her house≥ “. 

I was so thankful for people to share their success stories.  I was even more thankful that I was given another year and a half before I needed another exam. I truly trusted Dr. McKay and Pintwala my ophthalmologists.  The visits have assured me of their kindness of heart and competence.  I’m just glad I don’t need surgery.  I’m thankful to avoid any surgery if I can. “It’s best to avoid surgery if you can , Dr. McKay’ had said in parting.  

I liked that. In my darkest moments I saw a mad man opthalomologist starting up his chain saw and calling me into the operating room.  I’d done surgery and spent a year in a surgical residency but now was glad to work as a psychiatrist. I’m thankful I’ve been able to learn to laugh at myself and know that humor is good medicine.  

Laura drove us back to my Thor motorhome my eyes seeing the world like a fish might, kind of swirly with the dilating material.  I felt happy and the light seemed brighter and hugging Laura was the best.Feeling her hugging me back. It’s going to be okay. And then there was Madigan greeting us with his jumping about and chasing the ball and his tail and just as excited at seeing us after 3 hours of being alone as I was learning I could still ride my motorcycle. Oh to feel like a dog does. 

Thank you Lord