Let’s just say I loved the sun and faced the rain, the clouds, and drop in temperature with some anxiety. I began to ache in joints with the change in barometric pressure. They call this the ‘flu season’ and I’ve a flu and Covid vaccination scheduled for tomorrow. I’m looking forward to desert heat the weeks vacation in November to raise my Vitamin D levels to survive the winter.
With the restrictions of Covid I was too much indoors. Dr Nocebo Fauci and others were threatening death to all. Repent! Repent! Everyone was depressed. I’ve been the complaints department for life. This last year the mental illness became infectious as mor and more were hurt by government mismanagement and corruption. We are now facing massive inflation and outrageous energy costs. All of my marginal patients are suffering as the middle class is squeezed.
I like my work. I serve doing virtual, making diagnosis suggesting treatment, making referrals and initiating investigations. I don’t feels the need to take on the most challenging or cure the incurable. I did years of that, pleased myself with exceptional outcomes but seeing no one cared if one person complained. I was popular i high school. Mediocrity is the key. I muddle on now. I liked my colleague who asked if he was going to retire answered he’d work as long as he can. I’m enjoying working. There’s no alternative for patients. There are such shortages. So many waited a year or two to find me and so many were orphaned when others retired. The healthcare system is broken.
I like making money to pay off the mortgage on my home. I could sell my sailboat and pay the mortgage off but as it is each year it lessens and my savings increase. I suspect if I took a few months or a year off I’d again find work that satisfied but why as now I’m happy doing what I’m doing taking this month ‘workcation’ in the south, muddling along.
I like that I’ll be cross dressing as a challenge. I did a week like this in Germany and Greece. And enjoyed the ‘carefree’ experience of au femme.
When I think of sex change I am uncertain as without the stress of living in Vancouver and Canada with world wars and threats and inflation I might just be satisfied to be in Mexico retired in shorts and t shirts or a sarong. I weary of the heavy clothes of winter. I like to no longer imitate the hollow men of boardrooms, wearing the greys so favoured by government and administration, I miss the playfulness of my youth in theatre and dance. I miss the music. I may just not be aging gracefully.
If Laura wasn’t working I’d travel with her and Madigan around North America with RV or Camper. I’m thinking that a trip with just the camper to central and South America would be an adventure. I’d thought to sail there but now imagine travel with just truck and camper and Vespa would be a great adventure. Maybe just with Madigan as Laura might find Central and South America to foreign. I think of friends who did it on motorcycle. I would lock up the big home. I can’t envision the truck and camper and motorcycle.
What to do till the Messiah comes?
I am so grateful for the life I have today. Such blessings. A miracle.
I printed some fifty pages of the books I’m working on and can see what is needed but I’m more focused on what needs to be done before I leave.
It’s been hunting season and most is on hold during that time. I’ve been out tenting and in a motel but without the camper and with back pain and less pressure to shoot big game I’ve done enough. I shot a dozen or so grouse. Last night Madigan and I enjoyed three of them I fried in butter with curry and cumin serving them on rice. A delicious treat. I’ve enjoyed barbecuing but in December May return to making more stews and soups. In Arizona staying in a hotel I hope to lose weight with less snacking at night. I’ll be doing more than I would here.
I pray and meditate each day. God is all. I try to focus on the good. My mind is quick to catastrophize and often I have intrussive thoughts of old traumas, betrays, injustice, the manure that was needed for the flowers to bloom in my life today.
I love the peace of mind I know for times and love that I can use the tools to stop me sucking in the tit of despair.
I wake with back ache and am much improved with the chiropractic treatment of Dr Ready yesterday but then think it’s metastatic invasive cancer and I’ll die because I’ve not had good health care while striving to provide the best. I miss George and am striving to trust Minos and Lydia. I don’t have anything wrong with me but lack of stretching and traumatic arthritis in my lumbar spine. I’m having wear and tear of old age. But I see everything as psychosomatic and feel the pain is the back stabbing and betray I took in relationships and medicine. But there it is, self pity. I love that the defective thinking of alcoholism describes alcohol, the demon of drink as ‘cunning, baffling, powerful’. Pain is that which you can say in no other way. Pain is anger turned inward. Yet sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
I believe the dessert with help my spine. I have applied to do tai chi when I come back I’m swimming each week. There is more I can do. I need to lose at east 20 pounds or more. I need a new couch
Covid worried me. I got TB as a fly in doctor serving the natives in the north. I had a year of medication and my hearing was affected. I have had so many episodes of bronchitis and pneumonia having smoke tobacco and cannabis for a decade in varying degrees. I know pneumonia is the old man’s friend but I want to live. I am enjoying life now and seeing the reward in the working in the south.
I loved this year going with Laura to Edinburgh, Aberdeen, Oxford, London and Paris. I loved the museums and shows. We had such wonder visiting the Scottish Gallery, the Ashmolean Museum, the British Museum and National Gallery in London, the Louvre in Paris and especially the Musee ‘Orsay.
The summer was fine but the high light was tenting the Ace Hotel in Princeton with Laura hunting more grouse with Madigan meeting up with the Bustards.
I really enjoyed the symphony especially with Colonel Hadfield.
Life is good. God is good. My back has improved immensely with Dr. Ready. I walk a half hour or so 3 or 4 times a day with Madigan. Now Kelvin from Travco is installing my new awning with his son Brian.
My Ford F-350 is at Coastal Ford getting two new tires. It also needs a fog light replaced when they get the part this winter.
I do laundry make meals, have the luxury of a cleaning lady each month after several years without.
World politics continues concerning with Trudeau in Ottawa. I met Pierre Poilievre and he won the Conservative leadership.
Putin’s Russian invasion of Ukraine continues but the west has some wins and Taiwa has continues to resist invasion by Communist China who did invade Hong Kong and begin another reign of terror. There are riots in Iran and girls being murdered by the regime. Inflation is world wide .
I try to avoid the news and media. I’ve been focusing on being present and thought blocking negativity by prayer and affirmation.
I am happy and at times even joyful.
I have this Sunday. I thought to go to St. Barnabus Anglican Church this week as I had last week but slept in. That was good as Kelvin from Travco came and installed the awning.
Madigan has found this very exciting. He’s been enjoying playing fetch and at times will even throw the ball in the air himself and chase it.
The sun came out and the clouds open to intermittent blue sky.
I’ve no real plans or demands and have the rest of this day before me. Life is good.
Thank you God. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Holy Spirit.
Jacks place
Kelvin of Travco and his son Brian
Grouse dinner
Leaves of autumn
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