Monogamy

In Africa and Asia the idealized ‘marriage’ was the ‘big man’ and the ‘many wives’ or ‘harem’. 

Celtic culture introduced the relatively ‘monogamous’ ‘family’ unit in ancient days in the area in the northern parts of India.  

There have been multiple alternative arrangements with sex without contract, nightly, lifelong and communes, polygamy and women with multiple husbands.  The later was noted by anthropologists in the Polynesian Islands and is occurring today again in poly armoury societies.

Monogamy was indeed a ‘sexual contract’ which served to define the issue of responsibility for children.  Children were highly prized in agricultural societies as a principle tool of labour and the backbone of the military.  Industrial Age reduced the value of the Mother and of Children.  

The ‘monogamous’ sexual contract was defined as ‘one body’ in the Christian church.

There was ‘no rape’ in marriage any more than a man or woman could accuse himself of ‘rape’.  In religious courts neither man or woman could refuse sex except for health reasons. In the Jewish community women could refuse sex during menses and this was also a time of ‘rest’ for women in tribal societies where there were superstitions and taboos.

The sin of Onan was ‘refusal to fulfill his ‘family contract’ in which he ‘spilled his seed’ rather than impregnate his deceased brother’s wife. It had nothing to do with ‘masturbation’ except in the dirty minds of sexually perverse Victorian era theologians,

Given the patriarchal nature of society women were less in a position to complain of their husbands not having sex than men who could and did complain if women didn’t have Sex and especially if they didn’t have babies.  Wise women with infertile husbands were quick to overcome this with affairs and ultimately the ‘chastity belt’ was developed to counteract this proclivity.

Today 50% of children of divorcee by DNA testing are not the father’s.  “Breeding’ is not a term much heard these days but was the back bone of a society steeped in the wisdom of animal husbandry.

The industrial revolution changed everything. Further the rise of aetheism in the religion of Communism truly affected society since Marx and Lenin, Malotov, Stalin and Mao.

Then in this era the cultural Marxist variation of feminism introduced ‘my body, my own’ and a greedy legal system packed with sexually perverse judges introduced the idea that there could be ‘rape in marriage’ annulling religious and state marriage contracts to promote their own ‘legal brand of marriage’, ‘the only ‘marriage’ contract that remains in tact today, call ‘premarital contract’.  

Now sex was an assigned ‘function’ of marriage and contractually the frequency of the service was available for discussion.  Men and women today ‘contract’ for weekly or twice weekly sex on average. When the ‘committment’ to sexual frequency or ‘activity’ lapses the contracts is forfeited in the same way as a property left empty may pass to the squatters or a wallet left on the side of the road be the property of the finder by common agreement after a suitable time.  The stray dog and the stray wife or husband have similar contractual relevance.

Cause for divorce has included no sex for a year.  The question is why a year.  Adultery was cause for divorce with ‘blame and shame’ attached but ‘sins of ommission’ normally called ‘negligence’ are as heinous as ‘sins of commison’ well evidence in the Nuremberg trials coined the ‘banality’ of evil.  

Obviously the ‘quality of sex’ is an issue as the grass is always greener where it’s watered.  

Three months without sex and no obvious illness could well be the ‘breech of contract’ rather than the present ‘year’ . It has been so sad to meet so many men and women who say they have not had sex for years. Where children are involved men will commonly say that they ‘tolerate’ the situation for the ‘sake of the children’ as women will say they remain in a sexless marriage ‘for the children’. These folk are obviously lousy lovers but quite likely good parents. Each individual has roles.

Historically temple priestesses and priests and today’s male and female prostitutes made up the difference

“Ethical Slut’ is a delightful read on sex and relationships low on morality but fine on ethics.  

How long must a couple entwine naked each weak for optimal health, Likely hours as opposed to the minutes in the corporate consumer society of today.  Sex often in the only ‘skin to skin’ contact of partners and yet ‘skin to skin contact’ is a principle emotional stabilizer.  

Given the ‘gay marriage’ and so many ‘single partnerships’ without children there is a new need for ‘prenuptial agreements’ which lawyers are thronging to meet.  Having a ‘year’ or a ‘5 year’ contract with renewable options’.  Having a number of ‘infidelities’ listed rather than the ‘abstenence’ contracts, a kind of ‘harm reduction’ marriage where a ‘fling’ once every month, year or decade is agreed could be arranged

Monogamy was described as ‘why eat hamburger out when I can have steak at home”.  But while that is idealistic the question arises ‘when the cupboards are bare?”

In geriatric sexual research it was shown that the ‘friendship’ of marriages might remain but one of the pair might no longer like sex in as much as they give up liking to travel.  Studies of 50 year marriages showed that a third had a ‘discrete’ affair or fling.

Transexuals, gays and lesbians are now seeking the long term relationships given that the shallow superficial relationships of the times when the gay community revolvers around the ‘bar’ have gone and gay couples populate churches and politics.  What will the ‘rules’ be.

‘Writing our own vows’ is presently at that fairytale flowery state but once the romance with re inventing the wheel is gone the ol ‘sickness and health’ will need to be addressed. Is it okay to ‘fuck aroud’ if your partner is confined to an iron lung?  Or should you leave her and remarry and carry on the dynasty?  

So far I’ve heard no ‘vows’ at modern marriage that address any of the key issues of marriage that were the fabric of my marriage therapy practice.  Who pays when the one partner takes the cushy low paid job while expecting the other partner to maintain the hard high paid job.  

If you don’t want vaginal sex what stops oral sex. What’s wrong with anal sex when birth control pills have ‘side effects’.  It’s all very well to claim the car foesn’ work but why can’t we bicycle to work, 

Sex is work.  

Falling in love is very different from staying in love.  Romance novels are pornography. Female masturbation is called ‘pampering’ with the foreplay in the female pornography genre called ‘erotica’, going on ad infinitum whereas in the male pornography the couple meets and the whole movie is intercourse and orgasm.  

In communism there is one sex.  There is one gender. All is subsumed by worship of the state.  

The Pope said that sex in marriage is sacrament,

Despite this , it is the 21st century, the government still punishes and fines sexual medicine specialists for saying the word ‘fuck’ Indeed the puritan government administrative doctors  discourage the front line experienced clinicians from discussing patients sexual problems with doctors all the while viagra sales sky rocket along with divorces and sexually transmitted diseases persist. Most recently with lockdown and pandemic government doctors are promoting ‘glory hole’s ,  The courts have reach a level of absurdity never before seen. 

 PM Trudeau said the elected state’ had no business in the bedrooms of the nations’ opening the door for the appointed judges of Canada to perversely enter into threesomes and orgies.  The perversion of the courts with their unnatural involvement in sex  is today far worse than the old catholic priest voyerism  exposed by Bishop Spong. Meanwhile pedophilia in high places continues to be protected not surprising since the ‘sale’ of children was once a home busieness in the days of slavery before today’s white washing of the old institution. 

As extension of the Industrial Age Chinese Sex Robots are flooding the market replaced the less than satisfactory object of desire, the famed blow up doll.  Personally I bought mine to use as a dummy passenger allowing me to use the ‘fast freeway lane’.  I’ve worried ever since that a new kind of ambulance chasing lawyer might not offer to represent blow up dolls who were not used like the countless vibrators in bottom drawers.  The markets expand to fill the space once used by the monogamous marriage contract.  

Engles and Marx wanted to destroy the family as it threaten the worship of the State.  Marriages have delayed consumer decisions as the corporatism a communist spin off loves to pit themselves, the Borg, against the individual consumer rather than facing the Picard .  The federation has been the political equivalent of marriage different from the tyrannies of like name.

What’s love got to do with it! Sang the great blues rock singer.