Gratitude, home,

I’m grateful to be back in my home. I’ve had a week of travel with family and a week of hunting in the camper with Laura.  Madigan was a going concern but now is settled down again in his usual haunts.  The routines are returning. I’m grateful for life and liberty.  I’m grateful for purpose and direction. I’m still feeling that I’m in a waiting room ready to be called, like a hockey player on the bench. I’m doing the next right thing. 

I take reassurance from the Hound of Heaven. I am seeking and present. It’s just that the relationship is in question. Not just the gender of God. I pray Our father but even that relationship is like the relationship with my own father.  We have a friend in Jesus. I was my father’s friend. My brother was more so. My brother’s relationship with his sons was more a friend.  I pray “Lord’.  That’s mostly my relationship with Mother God, Sister God, Friend. I have a friend in Jesus.  I’m more like my dog. He’s ever screwing up, climbing on the table, chewing the wrong thing, addle brained. He gets it right a lot and I experience joy in his company but he really is a nut bar. Maybe Master is my relationship to god, a kind of pet. A dog not a cat.

I’m thankful for the air and the scents. I am thankful for the sun and heat.  Thank you Jesus for sacrifice and service. Thank you for relationship and love.  

Thank you for our safety and that we have done all this travel and activity and are alive and well.  Thank you that Madigan is restored to health.  Thank you for his company.  Thank you that Laura is well. Thank you for my family, my sister in law, the nephews and great nephews. Thank you for their wives.  Thank you that we are all still muddling along despite the “wars and rumours of war” .

I long for clarity and guidance. I wish to know what it is I am to do. What is the next project. How much longer am I to work here and how may I do better. I feel I’m at the end of a game and can’t see the window opening as the door is closing.  I can imagine different scenarios.  Mostly I see myself doing the same. For now that’s okay. 

Thank you Lord for this day. My relationship is that of “lord and servant’.   Master and disciple.  Teacher student.  I have a friend in Jesus.  I would have God as lover.  

Egalitarian god.  God as a ‘pocket god’ as Philips describes in your God is too small. God as my servant.  Rescue me, serve me.  yet I pray ‘thy will be done’.  Acceptance.  

This life is sacred and I would know the surprise of joy and the mystery.  Lover God

Dawn