It’s been a whirlwind of activity since arrival.
I enjoyed walking round the property despite jet lag. Long walks with Madigan feeling the presence of my brother. Adell was gracious and beautiful in all her care. She even made pear desert with the pears off the tree Ron planted. I was there. We had such hope and yes life carries on.
I slept. Wonderful dreams despite jet lag or covid or the soul exhaustion from work. I read novels and slept. We talked. Family talk. Talk of weddings. Talk of new horns. Talk of jobs and homes.
I’m winding down. Laura was a brick filling in. We had to watch Madigan. He had diarrhea and it cleared with Adell’s rice and chicken but came back when we introduced wet foods. He’s been a going concern. Not unhealthy. But laying out puppy pads and getting him outside to poop.
Emptying the boat of the personal things was a day. Graeme made it possible . He kept me on task as nostalgia threw me up on lee shores or I would take off soaring on tropical trades. Everyone talked of the diesel smell. For years I lived it but now I noticed it too. Sweet and acrid.
I was going to solo the Atlantic, down to the Caribbean , maybe take the inside passage as I discussed with my brother. But the shift depth of the channels and my deep keel concerned me.
“I’m getting old and my boats too big. I’m think of selling and getting a smaller boat. ” I said.
The young man from Loyalist Cove Marina said “That what I hear from 85% of the folk with yachts here.”
It’s the white hair. I’m of an age where people are always asking if I’m retired yet. I’ve no real desire to retire. I like the work. I enjoy the false sense of security that incoming money brings. Work appeals to me. I’ve changed the nature of my work several times in my career. I enjoy the patients and the people I work with today. Virtual work has appealed to me with Covid. Reminded me of my early radio phone days working in the sub arctic as a fly in doctors consulting to isolated reserves. I left my Hamm radio and everything that could be used on the boat. It was all set for off shore sailing with $20,000 in spare parts and new engine and new radio and chart plotter and new genoa.
All the life threatening moments, the hurricanes, the night terrors came back to me. I just couldn’t see myself pulling sails up and down like I needed to do in face of the weather. I suppose I could. I’m not ready to sell yet. But my personal belongings are now off the boat, my journals, my underwear. If I do sell it this year it’s viewable but it needs a new paint job and a little sanding to clear the rust. I used to bottom paint every year or two and it’s just been bottom painted a couple years back. I painted the deck about 5 years ago. I’ve had the boat sand blasted and painted three times in her life. I imagined how I’d enjoy working in a boat yard painting again. Those were good days, good memories.
I’ve packed the car with my bags. We’ve gone through the house looking to see nothing was left. I heard Laura leave the shower so it won’t be long. Madigan is excited.
The sun is shining, We’ve had the best meals, I loved the dinner on the deck under the stars listening to the lapping of the lake at Hay Bay. Graeme had barbecued beef medallions and Adell had made several salads. It was wholesome and family. Relaxed.
I am afraid of people these last years. So easily offended and the authorities corrupt and in everyone’s affairs. Backing the play of the victim culture. Who ever cries first wins. False allegations are the norm and the mainstream are so far behind the cultural wars as to only know when they or their family fall before the legal political machines. Fringe politics.
It was easy here, The only agitators and yapping dogs were the dogs. Eva is the most vocal, Likes to lie on the couch in the sun and bark at a squirrel. Pepper then starts running around and barking not knowing yet what’s got Eva going. Madigan took a day or two before he joined in. I don’t think he every figured out what they were barking at but he was glad to join in with Pepper running around in circles complaining and warning and agitating. I’m so glad that Madigan got to play with his cousins. I call them aunts or cousins. Seeing them run together on the great lawn was one of my dreams. I looked forward to watching the dogs cajole in the great expanse of green. Madigan even took to chasing the ball even as far as I could throw it. Reminiscent of good times with my brother and the dogs. Mom and dad now long gone used to love our playing with the dogs. Sonny, the springer spaniel was part of the family growing up. Then Ron and Adell had Tartan and Rainy before they moved on to kids.
I feel so alone at times. Then I pray and it’s okay. There were decades when my life was thick with friends and family. All young. This last two years three of my closest friends have passed pretty much taking with them their extended friends and family. I’m of the age,
Laura is coming down the stairs pulling her suitcase, Time to take it out to the car and make the last check before leaving Hay Bay for Kanata, Kanata is another sources of memory and nostalgia. This week we made new dreams. Adell’s cooking, the kids and the dogs, and Laura all such a good time. The boat. I would have liked to have visitted Nick but it was too busy with family. Wedding preparations and boat work.
Thank You Jesus.
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