I’ve been meditating but not quite feeling peace. Restless, irritable and discontent. I remember it’s this time of the year. Almost 23 years ago, I was experiencing betrayal, defeat, ‘incomprehensible demoralization’ and literally stopped the down elevator and got off. I don’t know what floor it was on but somewhere in the basement for sure. Today I’m mostly above ground and living rather than dying. I’m thankful too.
This weekend was a blessing. Laura arrived in her little red Smart Car and transferred to my Ford F-350 Lariat édition Truck. I’d packed the night before. Madigan was very excited, to see Laura and to be on a road trip. We stopped at Cabellas because we could. We were off the clock. A life of discipline and schedules broken by this utter escape. I couldn’t given another ounce of blood at the company store. I was only able to focus on the task at hand. Getting egg McMuffins. Loading the Adventurer camper, hooking up the trailer. I used a causer pin instead of a lock.
We were just entering the logging road when the trailer hitch came lose and the chains held the trailer on. I pulled over and realized I couldn’t lift the tongue with the ATV on it. So I moved it back then went to lift the tongue now lighter with the trailer back, but unfortunately I’d let the ramp down and though in park the ATV rolled off the back onto the road. No harm done though Laura was shocked by everything. Madigan thought it was all a new game. I learned some lessons. Restored he trailer to hitch and reloaded the ATV balancing it better in the trailer.
We camped on the pull through beside the FSR where I’d been the fall before hunting. It was a lovely spot only bothered by the hundreds of cars and dust they through up passing by to a veritable Woodstock on the Beach at Colbourne beach. It wasn’t the normal sort of campers as almost are were cars not meant for logging roads. Trucks and Campers for sure but a whole bunch of folk just getting out of the city for the first time in many months. Freedom in the air.
Laura and I had great meals, barbecued steaks, pork chops, lobster. Eggs for breakfast. Roast beef sandwiches. Madigan is a foodie and sat beside Laura with his head on the table waiting for treats.
I took the ATV with him on the back and drove to the end of the lake and then up into the back mountains. I would have shot a bear if it was on the road and begging for MAiD. With age I’ve not become less aggressive or carnal but the thought of hours of hauling, gutting and skinning has caused me to let many bears pass that I might well have shot when I was young. I’m tired. I’m weaker. My back hurts. I don’t get enough exercise. I sit at a desk days in and days out. I’m lazy. I don’t like bear as much as venison. I don’t need trophies. I’ve nothing to prove. I’d just as soon shoot a grouse. I love the taste of partridge and am so looking forward to introducing Madigan to the joy that Gilbert and I shared hunting wild chickens. If a deer or bear interrupts that pursuit in the fall, we might shoot it. In the spring I m more interested in exploring and photography.
I loved the Honda 420 Rancher. It was only my second time out. For a few years I’d gone back to 2 wheel vehicles. I’m loving 4 wheels.
I put together the rain canopy for the ATV, a tent like contraption I bought on Amazon. It really works and I’ll love it in fall rainy season. That was one of the things I’d liked about the Honda Pioneer Side by Side 500. Rain hadn’t bothered me whereas on quads it gets really cold and wet. Now I’ve got the equivalent of a convertible sports soft top I’ve stored in the camper. A project.
I also put together the Canadian Tire solar panel and motion detector sensor slight. It really worked great. Now I have to remember to bring a drill to mount it next time. Very nice feature for the back door.
I did a couple of rides with Madigan in the box on the back and a couple of rides on the ATV up in the woods by myself. I met a couple of young guys camped high up in a logging slash. Good looking men in their 30’s with a truck and tent and camp stove on the gate and rifles sitting waiting the high slash. They reminded me of me when I was young. We chatted a bit. Shared tales of fresh bear sign. I was the old guy. It was their day. They were obviously serious hunters having a good time too. They’d have the best conversations as I and friends have had over the years in trucks and blinds.
I liked the rivers and falls, evergreens and spring smells. I loved the bird sounds. The woods were alive when I shut off my ATV and sat listening and watching. Madigan liked that. He’s had so little time off s leash and this whole adventure was exciting for him. The outdoors are so beautiful.
One afternoon Laura and I sat in the sun on the lawn chairs reading. Every 10 minutes one of us would get up and get Madigan untangled. Another time I made a log fire and we sat watching it. The risk of fire meant it couldn’t be left a moment and we had water just in case we needed to put it out. The wind was blowing up from the water so the sparks landed on the road. I enjoyed the smell of wood smoke, looking into the dancing flames. Laura liked the warmth as night was coming on.
I woke at 3 am a couple of nights, letting Madigan out and the two of us peeing in the night. The stars were incredible , the first night shining down through the tops of the trees. It was so quiet.
Sunday the Colbourne Beach crowd left by the hundreds. We heard them go by. We didn’t leave till the next day.
We were off the grid, no internet , no cellular, a glych in the satellite phone antennae found this trip, it was working fine last time. I had a ham radio but didn’t bother. I felt allergic to people. I casually conversed at best but I couldn’t re responsible, answer adult questions, make a decision. I felt myself relaxing. Laura said her body tension and headaches were gone by day two. I felt my mind clearing as I focused on the mountain trail beside the sheer cliff. Meditation in motion. No worries. Practicing the presence.
I finished reading Harari, Homo Sapiensand went on to read a novel of Boudicca, the Celtic queen who fought the Romans. I’m enjoying it. Mornings drinking coffee and reading. If I was hunting I’d be out at dawn but the earliest I got going was the afternoon and evening. I just loved the lack of demands and unscheduled time. Except for Madigan he was a going concern. Laura is easy to be with, not loud. She relaxed as the weekend progressed. Laughed by the last day. She likes the camper home and the outdoor yard. Madigan and I go away and love to return to her reading, doing cross word puzzles, eating crackers.
We learned there were more freedom rallies. The government has become totalitarian and communist, rabid like a nazi blind dog, intent on establishing the UN , a collection of old men dictators with the arms dealer security council and the sharia communist blocks in the main body. World police. Even as the European community is failing due to the corruption of Babylon this newest communist organization claims ‘globalism’ but a communist dictatorship run by bureaurocrats is far from a free federation. Corporate big tech and communication are like the barons of medieval age, the different companies, East Indian and Dutch. The overlapping business and nation. It’s all only nominally separate. Today we’re facing horrendous loss of civil liberties and rights based on a very questionable premise. Dr. Fauci’s gain of function studies in the Wuhan Lab, Science and Nature political articles and the corruption of the WHO and the Chinese communist military theft of labs around the world. Money greed and godlessness. Who knows who to believe . I don’t trust the media and the presidents and prime ministers are puppets with shadows in the background. SNC Lavalin. Gates and vaccines. It’s murky and mysterious. Meanwhile the attack on Christianity and God is real.
I’m feeling lost. Uncertain times. I obey the law. Struggle to carry the flag. Aim to trust authority which seems strange given my adolescence. I’m there again. Uncertain. Jaded. I am thankful for the break. The world carried on and I can pick up the pieces after a weekend of freedom. There was a time I’d have had to be sick and dying to take a break. I’m learning. There’s a time to rest. A time for peace. It’s been good. I just felt it was a bit of R&R to allow me to continue in the war. I’ll go back to it today. Keeping the finger in the hole in the damn which chaos, suicide and despair breaking through the wall. I wonder how long it will be before the joy is sucked out of me by the anxiety and depression so deep now with lockdowns and constant fear mongering and government abuses. Some cartoonist will need to draw a picture of Trudeau in a while beater t shirt gas lighting the nation.
I’m thankful.. We had sunny day. The rain only began on the way home. We had problems with the fresh water but we had lots of bottled water for drinking. It seemed there was anaerobes or gas in the gas station water. I put water purification tabs in the tank and cleaner in the grey tank. I’ll clean it with bleach next time and check the gas station water before I fill my fresh water tank. Our black water tank didn’t fill. We had lots of water. 4 nights for two people and a dog. Not bad. We had lots of water and the grey water didn’t even fill. We didn’t take showers but sure loved them when we got home. I almost went swimming with a bar of soap. Cleaning in the sink with hand clothes was sufficient. Changes of clean clothes. I began to think that daily showers were too much feeling good day two. Roughing it. I’d the generator to charge the batteries and iPads we were using for Kindle reading. I could have used the truck but like the Honda 2000 generator.
We included family and friends in prayers. We talked about recent events in the lives of people we knew. We are planning to fly out to my nephews wedding. There wasn’t anything cerebral and no emotional drama. We tip toe a bit around each other the first day, raw from work, both of us working in the ‘complaints department of life’. Then after a night of sleep in wilderness we wake so refreshed. Madigan is such a joy and distraction. He liked to play fetch with a tennis ball with me and didn’t chew on anything too valuable.
It was a good weekend. Thank you. Hallelujah.
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