I awoke quickly from a delicious dream knowing my puppy, Madigan, wanted up on the camper bed. I also thought, if I let him out now, he might not yet have pooped in the camper.
I saw beautiful tousled haired, Laura feigning sleep beside me.
“Woof, woof!” It wasnt’ a real bark. More a plea. When Laura is here he just begs to be on the bed with her. When I’m alone it’s more an ordering tone.
“I’m coming”. I said.
Good fortune. No poop. I’d laid out the pee pad and he’d not used it.
“Good dog, Madigan!”
Outside. Fresh air. Sunshine. Warmth. I’m just dressed in night shirt and flip flops. Madigan is peeing on every bush. I select just one. Ah.
The blue sky is beautiful. The lake is calm through the forest. Tall quite massive trees are all around this clearing. The camper on the truck with the struts down is on this logging road staging area pull through. We hear the vehicles go by but we’re protected from the dust. Down the road, a city block, Colbourne Beach Recreation site is full of campers tenting on the beach.Last night I drove by on the Honda Rancher 420 ATV.
John’s son has done a skookum job of installing the rifle mounts and mirrored hand guards. He did an especially good job of mounting the wheel on the tongue of the trailer. Yesterday’s yesterday’s excitement was my using an unlocking pin on the trailer hitch. . The pin came out of the hitch lock and the hitch came off when we hit the first bumps of the gravel road. I really am going deaf. I knew something was wrong. I could hear an in distinct noise and the sluggish feel of the wheel but I drove on a quarter mile looking for a safe space to pull over till Laura turned down her window and I heard the tell tail sound of dragging chains. It wasn’t the perfect place to stop but it would have to do. Emergency brake.
I was looking at the trailer tongue hanging on the chains , the hitch riding on the newly mounted wheel so it was protected. I’d used a cotter pin to secure it instead of the lock I’d not found in the truck. Too late I found it in the camper drawer. I’d learned my lesson. This wouldn’t happen again. Now to solve this problem.
“Shouldn’t you put on your flashers?” Laura said joining me to look at the damage.. Sure enough. The flashers.
Even with her helpI couldn’t lift the tongue to put the hitch back on the ball. The ATV needed to move back in the trailer. I’d just learned another lesson about the best place and balance for ATV and trailer. I unloaded gas tanks by the side of the road. Put the gate down figuring I could ride it back. When I gave it gas in reverse the pendulum effect lifted the tongue. I thought I could lift it now so put it in forward first gear, dismounted. With Laura’s help I lifted the tongue.
“Bill, “ she screamed. Standing up beside me.
“What!” I said, worried she’d caught herself.
“Bill!” I’d turn to see that the ATV had rolled off the trailer onto the road, coming to a stop sideways in the Center of the road. Facing the other direction putting the hitch on the ball. I’d not seen what she’d seen and I’d not heard a thing.
“I couldn’t stop it.” She said defeated and scared. “ I thought it was going to keep rolling off the cliff!”
“It’s okay, “I said. Climbing onto the ATV and driving it back onto the trailer. I’d now learned another lesson.
Remember to put ATV in park. It’s a weird thing coupled with the release that’s needed to put the this ATV in reverse. I remembered it now. I’d had a time figuring that out the one time I’d first used the new ATV months back. I don’t even think this has and emergency brake but will now take a look in the manual. I learned another lesson and wouldn’t make that mistake again. Even in forward gear the ATV could roll backwards.
I really liked that a couple of trucks stopped to ask if we needed help. Maybe a dozen in total passed. One was an older white man travelling with his wife. The others was a younger black man’s with wife and two kids.
“If I was racist, “ I said to Laura, “that would screw me up either side of the equation. Old white guy and young black guy are the ones that offered to help. “
Laura was frazzled.
“I am completely exhausted from work and couldn’t handle that. I think girls just want to be in a suite in Mexico where they can have room service and lie beside the pool reading.” I can relate because I’m fairly tired of being a man with all the criticisms against men, the old, our grand parents, and just about everything I was brought up to believe in as a Canadian I often think I’d like a sex change if only to get a suite in Mexico, lie in a deck chair and criticize all the men since Adam.
We’d just driven to Chilliwack. I had the Ford F-350 Lariat edition truck packed. It took me years of second trucks and paying loans and mechanics and finally having this new truck that I could generally rely on.
Laura said “It never breaks down. I love it.” I’d bought a previous truck from her son in law who later went to jail as a criminal, theif and general asshole. It was good to be vindicated after being ripped off but we both could have skipped that experience and the litany of breakdowns that truck came with. This Ford F-350 has been a joy.
To prepare for this trip I had had to remember a dozen keys, to turn on the battery cut off switch to the camper , to fiddle the fuse attachment to find the Happy Jack switch, raise the camper. Then very carefully line up the truck and back it under the camper. Lower the camper. Attach the steel stays then attach the electrical. I’d had the added issue of attaching the trailer, in which John’s son had added the wheel jack to the tongue. Without that done we ‘d not have been able to get this far. That’s when I thought a pin rather than a lock would work on the jack. We’d stopped for gas. I’d had the propane tanks filled. I found the hose and filled the water tank. Then we’d pulled into the superstore. I’d done the shopping for 4 days and passed it from the cart to Laura who stowed it.
Each of these steps had had it’s own steep learning curve, forgetting a key only to have to drive 2 hours back to the city, arriving to dead batteries, hand cranking jacks, overshooting the backing up, damaging a stay. This was my second camper . The first ‘cheap one’ had taken the beating of harsh learning in addition to having come with a water leak, so insurance wouldn’t cover the damage the night the torrential storm flooded, Laura and me in bed.
There’s a history and reason for friends saying, “that Laura is a real trooper.”
After loading groceries. we were on the way again.
When we arrived here 3 pm, we’d left home at 9 am.
“Maybe most girls would like to sit by a pool in Mexico without any of this hassle but I absolutely love being here,” I said.
Laura looking over the site we’d found, said “Me too. I love that we’re self contained and don’t have to put up with neighbours.”
Admittedly getting older I’d like to be a girl and not have to do all of this stuff to find privacy and peace. It’s just that I have Madigan and he’s not ready for hotels. I’ve had great experiences in hotels.We’ve als had our motel from hell experiences. Every time I’ve been in this camper in the woods has been paradise. I love being away from people.”
‘There are guys who like the simplicity of the hotel experience’ Laura said, “It’s not just girls.”
“I know but I come from a family of competent men. I really like men who are able to do things. Each of these trips is an expedition and it’s been years of experience and training from childhood for me. Thanks to my grandfather, father, and older brother I can do what I do today. I feel sad that some 40% of Canadian men don’t have such an unbroken line of male wisdom and sharing. I hate the term ‘toxic masculinity’ because so many of the problems in todays world are simply a reflection of the attack on the family by the aetheist communist intellectuals and their policies.”
“ I didn’t like the trailer coming loose. It’s was the worst but thanks to God we solved the problem. The ATV didn’t roll off the cliff. I ‘ve learned more lessons. We’re safe. We’re here and it’s paradise, now”.
“I know, “ Laura said. “”I’m just fried from all the demands of work. Everyone demanding. Constantly with Covid everyone angry. “ There was a quiver in her voice.
“I just couldn’t take another thing. I feel overwhelmed all the time. The lockdowns. The lack of resources. Everything. I just need to get away from people and rest.”
“Now we’re here.” I said. “I’m sorry about the stupid pin. I know better and I’ve got the park brake figured out. But it’s solved.” I reassured her . Madigan was loving running around peeing on everything. He just begun to lift his leg and it’s funny to watch him balance with male pride.
I liked my old friend George , telling me after I returned from an expedition., “I love to read about your adventures from the comfort of my couch.” I’d like all the glory but I’m not willing to do all the learning and struggle. I appreciate it, though.” He was a leased car and motel guy. A great doctor and a great friend but he appreciated all that went into the luxuries and comforts we have.
“I just don’t feel men are appreciated anymore,” I said. I cross dressed and imagined being a princess, all my needs catered too, a trust fund child.
“I know there are guys who act like girls but don’t appreciate all the construction work and defence and policing that went into making that Mexican retreat. It’s the same as guy who rent an RV in the woods. It’s not same as having all the skills and doing it yourself. I don’t respect men who don’t do this and say they don’t want to. I know they are there. George wasn’t like that. He knew what was entailed, respected and appreciated it and even praised it. But the guys who say “I don’t want to do it”. They’re making a virtue of necessity.’ They simply couldn’t do it. I know women and men are doing this today. It’s just the kids who destroy everything and have no respect for the past and have no skills but are screeching and complaining and being offended , they get to me. The little ‘how dare you, rich priviledged pampered princesses being used by powerful marketing self interests annoy me. How can they be so gullible and stupid.” I said
After that I’d taken Madigan and the ATV up the mountain while Laura settled into the camper tidying and organizing it. She makes a house a home with all her little silliness.
Laura is in heaven this morning. We’re both frazzled at the end of work week. Now we’re healing. Madigan is pining on the floor at the base of the bed with an occasional bored whimper wanting to be lifted up so he can be entertained by Laura who loves him.
There are so many moving parts that go into these outings. My father did them when we were camping as kids. Mom managed the tenting and campstoves till later in life Dad got the first RV. Then it was road trips all summer. My only regret is we do this day of labor for only a few days of actual camping and relaxing. Still, to be here is heaven. Waking to the fresh air and wilderness is spectacular. I love the propane refridgerator. The propane stove and heater. The sleep last night with the stars and moon looking down through the skylight, was so deep and uninterrupted by city noise , until the Madigan woke me at 5 am.
I love the toilet and running water in this camper. I have a generator to recharge the batteries but the truck could does that too. I lovedexploring last night with the ATV. I drove up into the mountains and could have seen a bear. Ostensibly I’m hunting. I’d taken Madigan in his rear gunner box. He’s more and more happy with the ATV. 3 km up in the mountain the air was cold. I could see the snow low and stopped before reaching it. I dismounted and target practiced. I shot a can on the third shot with my Ruger 30:06. Madigan didn’t mind the gun shots. He was cautious staying close. He’s not had a lot of off leash time in his little life.
“There’s coyotes out. Everyone is reporting dogs going missing. The coyotes are just needing to feed their young. It happens so fast. So watch out for him.” Mother Laura had warned as we left.
I’d a gun. I’d known Gilbert to be targeted by coyotes. I liked that Madigan knew to stay close. He’s a little dog and I feel instinctly he’s anxious in the open. Eagles and vultures in past lives. He actually jumped up on the seat of the ATV wanting to continue. Laura later said she thought he was afraid to be left behind. That too. But I love that he likes it. Gilbert my previous cockapoo jumped up on the seat of my Harley wanting to go for a ride where he’d be when we go for for days of motorcycle riding and camping.
Now we’re here. It’s amazing.
I remember when we were at the Broken Surfboard cafe in Cabot San Lucas Mexico , A group of us sea captains all sitting around talking about the sail down from Vancouver, Canada, sharing our harrowing stories and incredible moments.
“We could have flown here and it would have taken us hours rather than months.” One guy said.
‘It wouldn’t be the same,” we all answer in unison.
“We know that but they don’t’. Another captain said, pointing at a table of tourists enjoying this out of the way place that catered to offshore sailers.
“They would have you believe that watching a movie of a woman having a baby is the same thing as having one,” He said. .” They would have you believe that a ‘virtual expertience’ is the same as the real thing. They’d have you believe that playing a war game on computer is the same as being a real soldier in a war.
They’d have you believe all this. It’s the consumer vision. It’s the drug selling.”.
“ It’s the manager class today” Someone add, “ wanting you to believe that can learn to lead from a textbook, not appreciating that the men who lead this country had been great warriors and builders before they were presidents and prime minister.”
I remember that incredible afternoon of conversation and laughter today with other sea captains, solo sailors and off shore sailors. I think of the pompous paper trade rich and the little boys who lived in the parents basement, intellectuals like philandering Marx, who have always been with us They’re important. There’s a place for them. We all have a place. But I am humbled on these vacations by all that men and women who have gone before doing the work, not just talking.
I think I cross dress to deal with the anxiety and stress of being a man today. I would never want to be a woman and have a year of uncertainty and days and nights of labour. I’m terrified of sickness in my puppies. I’d worried when Madigan almost climbed out of his harness, the one I thought was tight enough. I saw a mother with a little girl in a bicycle back seat tightening up the straps and admired her. I’d not be a mother. I can only admire mothers and fathers, the women and men of this world whose legacy is now being destroyed. When we talk of the new class of single women and men all offended and critical of the world and the past. all they seem to be able to do ,is complain. I like the old white guy and the young black guy that stopped and offered a hand yesterday. There’s talk and there’s carrying wood and drawing water.
Now here I am doing the same. Complaining. It’s to do with pride. It’s a reaction to the young today tearing down statues and destroying books. They can’t make history. Covid taught us that so many of these new university grads couldn’t even cook. They depended totally on the little noodle cafes that had to be reopened. A generation of young people might have died with covid, killed by starvation, because the lockdown took out their main sustenance, take out noodles.
I like my friends who garden, make music, paint, build, fix cars. Nothing like using a pin on trailer instead of a lock to teach humility . But I sure like being here today. We’re self contained. We have all the comforts and amenities of a five star resort, here in backwoods. I just walked Madigan who was puppy zooming all around me to the little nearby mountain stream falls that will provide us extra water if we need it. I’ve 5 a five gallon jug and can use that. The ATV would let me transport it even though it’s only a city block walk away. I could pull up the struts and refill the whole tank because I’ve a suction pump, garden hose and water purification tablets. As a Boy Scout I really was taught, ‘be prepared’.
I love when Laura and I get away from the maddening crowd camping. That’s the limits of full service campgrounds. Other people. Variables. Here we might well have a bear visitation but that would be welcome. But that one time we could hardly go outside without the stockbroker we thought was dementing wanting to talk to us about a new ‘deal’.
Here we are alone. We’re off the grid. We don’t even have cell service or wifi. I’ve my satellite phone but it’s been having antenna problems. Intermittent. Says emergency calls work but didn’t put through my last call. Too late to have it fixed for this trip. I have a Hamm radio and VHF but again only for emergencies. A few hundred yards away there’s passing cars with loggers and campers all day. We’re hardly an hour away from a town. We could walk or ATV there in an hour or two. It’s all possible but here we’re off the grid for now. We’ve disconnected. The noise is dying down and we’re hearing nature.
I think of the city as an ant hill. I feel my aura pressed down ,constrained. The energy of all those people contained . Here I relax but I also feel my being expand. I feel that lightness of being. We’re in the womb of a forest. Their roots connect over miles. It’s so calming. All this forest and nature therapy.
We’re predictable. I so enjoy Laura and Madigan. Laura and I’ve been camping for nearly 20 years and I’m pretty much attuned to her easy going nature. Not when she’s tired or overworked but if I can keep the wolves from the door. She’s pretty content. It’s a low bar. She says that Covid and the Lockdowns and the chronic despair and anger in the air and the government favouritism and things like arresting campers and ministers but allowing protestors to gather on mass and hold rallies is getting to her. . It makes no sense and that government cronyism and favouritism and lies about science is wearing. Vaccines so far behind schedule due to government incompetence and corruption. War and rumours of war. Totalitarianism. Taxes and more taxes. Identity politics. Divide and conquer. That great sense that there are people smoking way too much dope in Ottawa and are running the country, demanding more and more of the citizens to make up for their greed and utter incompetence.
I like my friends who four wheel drive and ride motorcycles having the courage and competence to be dependable. I love being among doctors with real skills. I like that I delivered babies, set fractures, did surgery and I can know which med to use for what and diagnose and treat mental illness ,the most complex of all. I’m thankful I can recognise addiction and know what can cure it. I m sorry I’ve become a bit jaded and weary with experience but I’m so glad not to be have that utopian adolescent ignoranus that so declares one’s lack of experience.
I am so thankful for my parents, my brother, my mentors and teachers. I’ve been truly blessed. I can appreciate nature only as a musician can appreciate music having played an instrument . I have gardened poorly so love the work of God in this incredible garden called earth. I am amazed that there are men who have together put men on the moon and are planning manned flights to Mars. I loved scuba diving and spear fishing and am amazed at the depths that people are going down in the sea finding prehistoric creatures still there in the deepest sea exploring. I love all the learning and the constant exploration, the babies being born, the remote cameras that can watch the birds feeding their new born young in the nest. I love the drones and the photography and communication and all the computer tech guys who make these machines work that allow me to sit and transfer the stuff of my mind to this electronic Ipad page. I’m so thankful my mom taught me to type. I love skills. Life is an adventure in learning. It’s not the things we own but the knowledge that go with them that’s exciting.
I’m really thankful for this morning and my beautiful friend, Laura, a mother, and a grandmother, and now Madigan’s fur baby mother. I was here last year alone after Gilbert, my previous cockapoo, died. I was hunting grouse then. I shot a grouse. Without Gilbert nearly a dozen got away. I hiked into the mountains each day and got a lot of exercise. I could have hiked into the mountains this morning. There’s a trail nearby. I wanted to use the ATV but now I’m thinking I’ll walk up the same path whose steepeness nearly did me in. I can take the gun and Madigan and get some exercise. I can also make eggs for breakfast. I’ve had a second cup of coffee.
I have a day and sun is coming up .It’s only 8:30. How wonderful is that. I used to love looking at the day of summer holidays as a kid planning where I’d explore on my bike or getting together with my friend Kirk to do ‘stuff’ together. That’s the feeling I have now. Laura and I can do ‘stuff’ together or we can do our own thing. We have time and space and no interruptions. Madigan is asleep. Thank god. He’s been a zooming puppy and constantly needing attention. Laura gave him attention this morning and I got to sit here , a mental wanker, reflecting , writing, , unloading my mind, making room for the new. Squishing the pus out of my brain.
All I miss is excess water. I love long showers and having to haul water or ration it makes me appreciate the luxury I so often take for granted. Being here makes being home so much more enjoyable. Each of the things we do for camping are reduced to convenience in the home. We take the heat and water and indoor plumbing for granted. I can call a repair man. A plumber, an electrician. I ‘ve specialists “on the Rolodex” see constact list for the young. Here I’ve the challenge of self reliance. True self reliance is true humility. It’s here I learn to appreciate all I have, the help, and friends, those luxuries. I’m so thankful.
Madigan has curled up by the door and made a moan as he rolled over to get more comfortable. Laura is reading. I’m likely going to move to the next event. Maybe reading. Maybe walking. Maybe dressing. Maybe getting out the lawn chairs in preparation for the sun which is rising in the sky. Maybe a walk or ride. Maybe a nap. Thank you God for this unscheduled vacation. Thank you for the chore of planning the next moment. This camping is best called glamping.
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