Thanks to Reg I remembered to give him his second of three worm meds. I might be a week out on that. I have one to go and a stool sample container to take to the vet when we get his next vaccinations. I don’t even think of Bill Gates, Glaxo or Pfieser or Conspiracy when I get him his vaccinations.
I don’t think people in power are that stupid to mess with puppies or kids. Only in communist countries did the infant mortality rate rise again. With modern times, nutrition, women working less, clean water and medicine, infant mortality and child death dropped all across the free world. In Communist Countriest it began to rise again becaue of alcoholism and lack of family love. Here in the free world no one in power is messing with the bodies of puppies or children. They sure are messing with the minds of children. I’m thankful for my parents and my teachers. I was so blessed to have a great political science teacher in Gr. 12 who showed us that you couldn’t judge countries or systems by their politicians writings or words but that one must always look at ‘evidence’. Everyone wants to live in the free world. No one is lining up and breaking down walls to live in communist countries or religious dictatorships. I’m thankful I lived before CBC became a propaganda outlet. I loved having CJOB news growing up with hog prices and wheat prices and facts then later getting Barbara Fromm when CBC was UN corrupted. I miss Ralf Nader and JFK and Reagan. I miss some things of the ‘good ole days.
I’m at work again after a couple of weeks vacation. I’m really exhausted and frazzled at the end of the day. The phone and video are a part of the stress, my hearing loss is some, though I’ve added amplifier, the ESL issue is big in psychiatry, a lot of nuance and body language is missing. There’s the never ending fear of the government unlimited police power. I look back on my life and repeatedly doing the right thing, what I was taught by my teachers what is good medicine I was faced with a patient that complained. A psychotic pedophile complained that I said something that upset them. I hadn’t . It was delusional but the government is now a ‘folio a dieux’ and the most psychotic people wear suits so with lawyers and millions of dollars if not billions of dollars of health care funding we played out a year or two of maybe the doctor is a psychopath and all us good bureaurocrats are here to save you the woman who killed her babies from the mean bad boogie man who reminds you of your mother and father who had used you in sex experiments as a baby. Now I lived each day of those years not knowing if I’d have a job in the morning. Not knowing if I was right to diagnose the patient as borderline schizophrenia because the doctor police in that occasions were more psychotic than anyone I’ve ever seen. “Women don’t lie” the female superior said. Two years of my life under that tyranny and each night unable to sleep, each night wondering what world I lived in and complaining that this sociopath who literally hated men was in charge went nowhere. All I heard over and over again was ,that’s why I don’t have any alcoholics or drug addicts in my practice and why I refuse to see borderline patients. Because the authorities are evil. So the sickest most disturbed don’t get treatment and everyone is afraid of going to work with these people because the authorities are more psychotic and identify with the deceitful and delusional. I felt like a woman, a Jew, and an aboriginal in the 19th century. It’s the 21 st century and my Jewish female aboriginal friend says, “why do these people talk and act like it’s a hundred years ago.” We were both trying to raise consciousness about the genocide of Tibetans happening today. But the Marxist Leninist propaganda had stopped any real discourse. The world has become cancel culture, paranoid posturing, I and them, me and it, all that hate thinking from the shallow anti hate , pro censorship. I was glad to see the brightest actors Rowan Atkinson and John Cleese , with their genius and incredible educations beyond their acting were as much against the censorship today that the low brow weak links of Hollywood celebrate.
I’m uncertain about most things. My mind has a whole lot passing through it. I like the idea of the mind as a radio receiver transmitter or a party line. It counts not so much what you think as what you do. Action speaks loudest. All these politicians these days incongruent, telling others to stay locked down, destroying the world, much like their Nuremberg predecessors, all the while they take trips ,don’t wear masks and congregate in great hate groups. Nothing is a better metaphor than black face taking a knee in the marxist Lennonist egomania, me first movement. It’s always me first . Right now Covid has taken over from Climate Change. Greta pouts. Some new media star joints the entertainment cycle. In Canada the comedian who was fined for telling a joke is before the humourless Supreme Court. Mostly people who can’t belly laugh go into the law which is based on old men and old women wearing wigs and no one is allowed to laugh because a man with a gun is in the room.
It’s bizarre. I journal as a means of squeezing the puss out of my mind, clearing it for the day. I was in favour of transparency and felt after years of work seeing multi millionaires, world leaders and the best of the best in my practice that the average joe should realize that it’s not what one thinks that makes one crazy, but what one dwells on. A bird can shit in your hair but you don’t let it make a nest there. I’m fascinated by the Carnal Sins and Addiction and the compulsion and obsessions.
Right now we have a woman going for Vice President who gave blow jobs for the governor to advance her cause all the while rubbing the governor’s wife’s face in it. In Canada our PM was able to pay a little girls millions for silence and non disclosure while his father bought off the Attorney General to protect the other drug addicted son. Steal a little and they put you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king.
What great things have been done by politicians recently? Well they are muddling along. There are peace treaties in the Middle East. There’s Space X and amazing scientific breakthroughs. I’m here at this lap top writing in a journal which will be preserved electronically. I have a camera that’s digital. There’s so much to be thankful for and I have to see the positive despite hearing despair and depression and the worst anxiety all day. At the end of the day my soul is scraping fingernails on ice windows and its dark and cold and raining outside. I fear work , fear hearing another person afraid and having little to say to yet another saying ‘the medications aren’t working, I’m so afraid to go outside. ‘M afraid of dying. I’m afraid I might get covid. I’m afraid I’ll bring it home and kill my elderly parents.’
What can I say.
I do the best I can.
I suit up and show up.
I don’t feel I’m getting any help from management. They have platitudes and promises. Yet we do have vaccines coming and they may have some psychosomatic value if they don’t kill us, make us all infertile and have terrible side effects. Half the medical professionals don’t want them. Half do. What do I say. I’m looking forward to a vaccine but I’m Luke warm.
God bless. Thank you Jesus for all the positives. Thank you for family and friends and patients. Be with them. Keep them all safe. Help them this day. Help Madigan grow and be well. Help the babies. Thank you God for this Day.
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