June 9, 2020 The uncertainty continues

I awake to a new day. Rain is loud on the roof. The furnace kicks in.  I notice my back hurts still.  My faith is in the new chair. There were times I had to hang upside down to solve the sprain.  Everyday I do something different. The anti inflmatories work. Manipulation works.  Massage. Everything helps.

I’m here seeking God.  I know God in a variety of ways. Intellectually I accept that God is creator and he has created from himself. I live and breathe in God. I am God stuff myself.  God is all.  It’s intellectual. It’s intuitive. It’s emotional. God as mother, father,brother, and son.  I am co creator in creation. Does the butterfly think the philosopher or the philosopher think the butterfly.  Each day I ask to know God’s will and for the power to carry that out.  I want to do the next right thing. I want to love rather than fear. I want my faith to increase without crucifixion. I want to Grok God.  Holy Spirit come. I guess I want the orgasm of God. Hedonist God not the Stoic God.The rocketed into the fourth dimension God. NASA God. Being in the flow always.

Instead, I play hide and seek each day. I wake today and wish to know God more fully and do God’s will more fully. I make myself a cup of coffee and want to savour it more. I was to speak later this morning with wisdom. I want to channel the answers that people need. I want. I want. I want.  What does God want?

Like the Ladies who listen, I listen.  Meditation.  Listening to God.  

I want my back to be better and Gilberts heart to be better and Covid 19 to be cured. I want a manned space and sea, Buckminster Fuller geodesic domes galore, a space colony on the Moon, Mars and Europa. I want to meet with aliens from another galaxy and really be rocketed into the fourth dimension. I want to know puppy love. I want that nativity of childhood which became jaded with wear and tear to return with faith and maturity. I want. I want. I want.  What does God want?

For there in is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written. The just shall live by faith.  Romans 1:17

Faith.  Faith to faith.  Every day, every moment I trust in God.  Jesus said that God cared for a sparrow, would he not care for me? I awake and know God.  God is omniscient. God is omnipotent. God is omnipotential.  God is all.  God is now. God is expanding time inwardly outwardly transcendentally . God is all.  Life is alive. This expericience is palpable, breathing ,tasting, creative not the reductionist dead thing my mind makes with small ideas.  God is transcendent.  God is history. God is myth. God is fact and fiction. God is perception.  God is John Malkovich.  God is Keith Richards. God is Omar Shariff. God is Peter O Toole. God is the Pink Panther.  God is Disney. God is radiant. God is the most beautiful sunset, sunrise and symphony. God is the new born baby.  God is Gilbert. God is.  

Be Still and Know that I am God.  Be still and know that I am. Be still and know that I. Be still and know that. Be still and know. Be still and. Be still. Be.

Round and round and round.

Hide and seek with God.  I see you. I see me.  I see you. I see me. Thou art great. I am small. I am great. Thou art small. Humility and pride. The dance.  

It’s all about faith. Trust. Love.  God is the writer and director.  Do I trust the Script. Or do I improvise and change the words and make myself the centre of attention or do I accept in this scene I’m the potted plant. All the world is a stage.  I’m the kazoo in the symphony. I’m waiting now on the bench for my time to play in the game. I’m resting. I ‘m watching. I’m reflecting. 

Faith. When I get on my motorcycle I have to have great faith.  

When I sail alone at sea I must have great faith.

When I go to sleep at night I must have great faith.  

Faith.  

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.  Psalm 40:10

Thank you God. Thank you Jesus.  Thank you Mother Mary. Thank you Angel Michael. Thank you Mom and Dad. Grandmoms and grandads, Brother Ron. All my teachers and mentors. My family and friends. All my neighbours. Thank you all. Thank you .  When two or more are gathered together , there too, am I .  Thank you all the lovers I”ve known, the wives, and girlfriends and those I trusted in intimacy.  Thank you for the joys of youth and middle age and old age.  Thank you God for all.  Thank you most for this day and life, l’chaim!