June 5, 2020, Covid 19, Uncertainty

A patient summed it up for me this week with the one word, uncertainty.  He said it was frustrating to face the uncertainty each day. Camus’ Plague was a treatise on uncertainty and absurdity.

I talked to my accountant yesterday, a wonderful man, a gifted artist, a loving father.  He was wondering about the planning of his daughter’s wedding.  It needed to moved. Would it be okay next year or would it need to be two years. He was thinking of guests and travel and quarantines. I shared that the same had been true for my nephews wedding.  He then recommended I pay more taxes to the criminal PM Justin Trudeau and his criminal Liberal gang with their unholy alliances.  Nothing is more certain than death and taxes.  Trudeau had just doubled the taxes on death. He was channeling tax dollars to abortion, euthanasia and the UN Agenda 21. He was encouraging death as he has encouraged drugs and alcohol. The government gets a cut in these. He disarmed Canadians while selling 14 billion military supplies overseas like he’d given away the doctors and nurses personal protection equipment.

I’m weary of the media. I’m weary of the approved narratives and growing censorship.  The incursions of cultural communism masquerading as multi culturalism continue while Hong Kong residents are dying. Talk of Racism and the blacks don’t care because Hong Kong is yellow. 

I tried to explain that I was raised as a Christian. These  societal divisions today borrowed from communism and aetheism meant nothing to us. I sat with Black, yellow, brown, red and white people in church. We all attended church picnics together. We were Christians. We believed in Life and we believed in Love your neighbour as you would have them love you.  We believe in God.

Last month Trudeau accused me of have a military assault rifle. I was shocked.  I have a rabbit rifle.  Last week he accused me of being racist. I’m not racist. I am tired of being falsely accused by a coward who is unfit to run a lemonade stand or lead a school outing. 

I am old and the discrimination against the old by Trudeau and his pretty girls and boys is frightening to me. I’ve just watched thousands die in nursing homes because the government failed to do it’s job of regulation and enforcement. I just watched on tv a man shooting and burning his neighbours in the lockdown because the police didn’t didn’t do their job. I have watched looting and protesting and riots. Celebrities in pedophile rich Hollywood bail out criminals and celebrate destruction. There is apparently little more accountability anticipated than the consequences for the hockey riots in Canada where the offenders didn’t even compensate the full damages for their dastardly deeds. The courts are despicable. The judges should be utterly ashamed.  Mobs stop trains and the criminals go free. A father and his children skateboard in an empty lot and he is arrested and fined.

I’ve lead a long life of being a good citizen obeying the law and working damn hard.  I’m long past retirement with no end in sight because taxation and inflation make whatever savings I managed naught. I fear nursing homes and the communist approach to the elderly. The future is uncertain.  I find I’ve hidden money in jars here and there, $5 bills, like a kid whose known starvation  and hides bread.  I hear the anxiety in the voices of my patients and see it in their faces . 

I am thankful for Premier Horgan, Health Minister Dix and Dr. Bonnie Henry and the BC CDC.  They are little flickers of light in my world of gathering darkness. India has been invaded by 10,000 Chinese and there is endless coverage of a criminal’s death but I have to search  to find what more destruction Communist China is unleashing on the world. There are no riots in Vancouver but the news is about Alabama. Meanwhile in Hong Kong the light of freedom is going out.  I can’t find what is happening to the leaders who have gone missing. I still don’t know what happened to the doctors who were arrested and jailed in the Middle East. I had to look on the NASA site to find that the astronaughts are still. The media was covering  a woman shitting on a car as evidence of Democrat protest.  They are always ready for Trudeau’s ridiculous daily propaganda phot op. He’s such a slithering snake. And Butt is back after a vacation. The weasels never cease their hogs swill. 

I’m home in my bubble, working virtually. It may as well be a space ship. I only go out to get the mail and walk the dog. I love walks with the dogs and visits by birds and the new flowers.  I miss song and dance.

My back always hurts now. I’m waiting for a new chair that promises to stop my suffering. More bells and whistles. It will be my third such magic chair. They unfortunately stop working like magic pills.  I must move on to the latest. For now it gives me hope.  It’s paint with magic words like ergonomic and back rest adjustable and several more, an improvement on my last office chair from a decade back. 

It’s Moore’s law. The technology really is advancing. We may remain monkey and chimpanzees but we have better gadgets, hair products and facial cream.   

I was thankful today for Donald’s discourse on Yeshua.  I repeat the name Jesus Christ often.  God within. God will come again.  I have called out Yeshua, saviour, comforter in times of trial. I have cried saying his name. I have laughed saying his name. I’m afraid I’ve cursed saying his name. It is like the words, father and mother and brother and friend to me. Jesus Christ. The Desert Father Arrow prayer, Lord Jesus Christ. 

I meditated briefly , did some sit ups, loved cuddling with Gilbert and made my first cup of coffee.  I beg God I can be a better person today. I want so much to love more fully, to laugh more deeply, to care more kindly. I want to lift my head up and walk tall, not crawl on my belly.   I want to breathe love in and exhale fear. I want to know joy.  I know that Jesus Christ is all of these for me.  I know that God who I call my Lord is the centre of all joy.  I want to look for the architect as C.S. Lewis said and not look in the wall for the architect. I want to see beyond the illusions and maya and know that I am starstuff and we are all star stuff and God is Love as Jesus said. I want to embrace the moment and live in the Now like Brother Lawrence. I want to celebrate.  Praise and thanksgiving.  Thank you Lord. Thank you Jesus.  

Now lets go for a walk, Gilbert. I wouldn’t want to miss the scent of morning and sound of bird songs or the sunlight dancing on glistening dew touched leaves.