Thank you for the loud alarm that went off this morning. Thank you for the reflex flinging myself out of bed. Thank you for the staggering to the washroom, for the washroom, for everything being where it was last night so I didn’t bump into a zombie or tractor or spaceship or volcano. Thank you for the mundane. Thank you for Gilbert sleeping in his little dog bed. Thank you especially for the coffee this morning.
Thank you for the refrigerator and the milk. Thank you for breathing. Thank you for a choice of vehicles to go to work in so that the excitement about going for a different ride gets me outside. Thank you for the capacity to overcome the increasingly demanding desire to stay up late and sleep in late and only spend a few hours at most outside among people where there are dangers and things to fear. Thank you for the capacity to get out that remains with me, miraculously.
Thank you for all the times I’ve lived through near death experiences at work. Thank you for all the times I’ve survived the rage and insanity of angry teachers, angry police, angry judges, angry bureaucrats, angry strangers, angry patients, angry colleagues, angry nurses, angry assistants and especially angry tax men.
All day long I sit with people others tell me are insane. Thank you Lord that only every once in a while one attacks me. These days I'm less afraid of my patients than the friendly fire so thank you that there are so few back shooters and psychopaths and sociopaths and angry people behind me. Thank you for the protection you provide me from all directions.
Thank you God for protection but really Lord please please save me this day from all manner of threat and attack. I’m so worn down by the constant threat of the world going to end, global warming, economy collapsing, nuclear missile attacks, terrorists bombings, beaurocratic omnipresence and omnipotence with muscle flexing and sabre rattling and threats upon threats and rules upon rules and demands upon demands that are impossible so everyone is wrong and a slave except the rich and powerful and elite and special and those who make all the rules for themselves and their friends. Thank you for protecting me from them Lord, especially those who impoverish others in their anger and selfishness. Thank you for protecting me from those who are so angry and so afraid.
Please God give me the strength to face another day of work and overcome my fears. Please help me forget all the death threats and the physical attacks and the times I was held hostage. Please God help me to carry on. Help me to help people without worry of being stabbed in the back, without constantly looking over my shoulder , without constantly wondering if the lights aren’t going to be turned off during the surgery, without more and more threats and fears. Especially help me be safe with those people who don't know that when they do drugs and alcohol, especially marijuana, they aren't themselves and are less sensitive to others. Help protect me from the unpredictability that alcohol and drugs cause in otherwise fine people.
Thank you God for the peace of mind I find on the weekend. Thank you for the escapes and the friends and family. Thank you for all the thursdays and fridays.
Thank you for the mondays too Lord, how you help me face work and I do and it gets better always. Thank you for showers and soap and clean clothing. Thank you for all the aids that help me monday morning going to work. Thank you especially for when I get out and get to work and it usually goes fine. I have always got through Mondays no matter what. So it's just this little glitch going through that door to the outside world. thank you Lord for helping me get over that hump Monday morning
Thank you Lord for being with me always since I couldn’t do this alone. And thank you for Gilbert since his need to pee is often the only thing that brings me to open that door.
Monday, April 7, 2014
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