Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Slut Walk

In India they held another 'slut walk'.  500 attended. That's a family picnic in India.  The Canadian police man who was encouraging women to consider thei"provocativeness" of their clothing when they went out into the wilds of the world was severely abused and victimized by the very women he hoped to help.  I appreciate the sensitivity of women who have had the experience of 'blame the victim'.  This gentleman certainly wasn't that way inclined.  He was just talking about safety for individuals and not making a political statement.  He was certainly misrepresented and quoted out of context.
I couldn't help but think of the traveller's warnings that recommend I don't wear shorts in certain communities, or even those that encourage me to avoid wearing jewelry as it increases risk of 'attack'.  Nothing this man said was anything different from what any mother has told her daughter.  The consequence this time, not unlike some mothers and father's get when they encourage daughters to be less revealling, was attitude and the in your face angry temper tantrum through in a pout and a finger, "SLUTWALK". .
Apparently 'slutwalk' is supposed to heighten awareness that rape and aggression are not the 'fault' of the victim.  However it wasn't that many months ago that an american military woman accused an american military man of sexual assault and rape.  The man would have been court martialled and faced a life time sentence had the security cameras not caught this female soldier undressing and daring the man to 'fuck her'.  The girls of 'slut walk' would apparently argue the woman was a 'victim' and the man was a 'victimizer'.  In France if a person can be found guilty of 'false accusation' like this woman was, then she would have to serve the 'life sentence'.  In America and communist countries 'accusation' today doesn't come with the exorbitant costs that women once faced however should 'accusations' be 'free' . So many of the 'Slutwalk' folk would equally argue that 'women are the victims' of the world.  This essentially 'marxist' position is that women are the 'proletariat' and that men are the 'bourgesoisie." It alienates men who once supported the women's movement because it portrays men as collectively defective as 'blondie' jokes once portrayed a subset of woemn.
For a long time I've called this, women are good, men are evil position,  the Eva Braun Syndrome.  Eva Brawn has been portrayed and continues to be portrayed as a good girl whereas Hitler was obviously a  bad man.  I much prefer the Bonnie and Clyde tradition of America which portrays both as equally bad.  However, Eva Braun is seen as a misdirected good girl and we all know,  good girls are always trying to help bad boys. They shouldn't be held accountable for their behaviour.   Only men should be accountable.  Adulthood in our society indeed comes with accountability something women know but girls persist in wanting to avoid.   It just occured to me one night, based on my own experience with decidedly bad women, that perhaps Eva wasn't such a good girl. Indeed I thought maybe Eva, in the bedroom,  said, "Adolf, I won't give you oral sex unless you kill me 1 million jews, and not just one less."  The head of John the Baptist was cut off for less.
I wear cammo when I hunt. I don't want to be seen by the game and I don't want to be seen by other hunters.  I learned that all the folk shot hunting were wearing blaze orange which looks like grey at dawn and dusk when most of the hunting occurs.  I'm alive still after a half century of hunting.  I was very thankful for the advice.
I was also thankful when I was told that to wear a canadian flag as there was alot of anger at the americans when I was in Europe at one time.   Canadians weren't being targetted so I was very popular with my American friends when I gave them my excess pins and little flags to put on their rucksacks.
I'd think that women should collectively thank the police officer in the safety forum for advising women about 'camouflage'.  "Slutwalk" could indeed educate women on what is 'not camouflage'.
The aggressive males that women complain about fall into several categories which I don't think "Slutwalk" is doing much to educate women about.  I know that black bears run if I chase them, that Grizzly Bears prefer you lie down and act dead in their territory which case they will do you the least harm but that Polar Bears would prefer you lie down because anyway they can they are going to eat you.
Most "sex offenders' fall into the category of 'sad saps'. Many are like black bears and are purely opportunistic.  These are 'undersocialized men' who are really ignorant.  They often have read pornography and been miseducated by the media on what women want.  Really. They actually sometimes read Cosmo magazine and certainly watch Much Musc and all that other 'erotica' material on public media.  They believe women 'play hard to get' like some of the songs and television shows insist women do.  They don't believe 'no' means 'no' because they have had a lot of 'mixed' messages about 'no' in the media.  Some of these fellows have had brain damage, many are mentally retarded, often they're geeks, they might have assets but they've probably not had sisters or mothers who were kind and caring. Many were sexually abused by mothers and sisters, fathers and brothers. Some were sexually abused and feel they have to prove themselves with women.
The TV show "Criminal minds" and most tv shows that deal with sex offenders don't portray these guys because they really are losers. Think "Deliverance".  Maybe put a suit on the banjo player and you get what you're dealing with if you encounter one alone.  In a group they can be like wolf packs or something out of Jurassic park.  I've gota scar from being hit by one of these guys who'd wrapped his hand in a chain.  He and his friend were on booze trying to rob me, the little guy, crossing a park in a big city, coming home late from the gym.  These guys were 'bullies'. If I'd stayed on the street in the lighted paths they wouldn't have attacked me. I wasn't a woman. I was a kid with a wallet and bus fare.
They really are mostly harmless.  They can be scarey and if you let on you're scared they will bully you. That's what bullies do. They try to dominate and when people back down they take advantage. Turn your back on a black bear and try to run away and the bear will drag you down.  Obviously guys like this are rather stupid in the ways of the world and especially regarding girls.  As I said they're mostly opportunistic like black bears. If they are from a different 'culture' they may in fact be acting appropriate to their 'culture' or 'community' but their 'culture', 'class',  or 'community' is not sufficiently elevated to be 'politically correct' or know what is legally appropriate.
Staring at women is a sexual offence. The term 'lookism' has been applied for this 'innappropriate' behaviour that can get one arrested though rarely charged. What 'length' of time is 'appropriate' to look at  a woman hasn't been 'defined'  so such men who are 'insensitive' usually simply don't know.  In some cultures 'looking back' to see if a person is 'still' looking at you is an 'invitation' depending on the number of looks and how long between the looks back and whether the look is accompanied with a smile.  A grimace or frown may look like a smile to a culturally insensitive individual.  No wonder the confusion.
These are the men who you can avoid contact with by avoiding 'provocative' dress and overtly sexual behaviour.  They are sometimes hard to shake.  A beautiful friend says I 'cover up' so I don't have to deal with the bugs when I go out in the wilds of the country or the city."  I know a lot of men who have to hide their wealth similiarly to avoid the innappropriate 'hits' and angry 'rejection' responses of 'gold diggers' and 'groupy' women.  Part of the 'consciousness raising' that "Slutwalk" may be addressing is the 'sisterhood' who in many cases have encouraged men to be like they are.  These guys all have mothers and many are mother's boys with really psychological issues. They're not 'normal' men. They are, despite the marxist feminist patua, a distinct underdevelopped minority with major psychological issues.  Most men are 'normal' and don't rape or sexually harass or abuse women unless talking to women is construed as 'sexual harrassment' which it is by some women.  Some of these men actually tell me about 'girlfriends who have behaved in such a way that they just assumed that the complaining woman would find that attractive. Nothing accounts for taste.  But many men have been programmed by actual women to behave in a way which is decidedly politically incorrect. Not all men attend Simon Fraser University and wear dresses playing the best bag pipes in the world and being utter gentlemen to the lassies.
Alot of men 'dress' poor.  Alot of men conceal their 'vulnerabilities' because in the male world 'weakness' will 'invite' assault.  Around these steroid junkies there's a behaviour of avoiding eye contact, avoiding touching, avoiding effeminate behaviour. Alot of the 'ultra masculine men' are homophobic but this is really a cover for their underlying aggressive desire for young males. Growing up I had to deal with these 'gang rape' types,  the boys characters who had often spent time in jails and hung out together at popular watering holes ostensibly to get the girls but covertly as a means to physically attack young men with beautiful women. I fought many of these fellows when I was younger. I protected so many of the women I was with from them by actually physically fighting them or by most often knowing how to avoid appearing an easy victim.  Being with beautiful women has always been as dangerous for men as owning expensive jewelry, cars or yachts. We who are privileged to be in the company of beautiful men or own beautiful things know that other men, not us (girls!) see women as commodities and want to 'take' what they 'can't attract'.  It's really adolescent. I remember it being prevalent in my teens and twenties and then somehow just not being an issues in my thirties and the last time I can remember 'defending' a woman was in my early 40's. The woman was a stupid ass, drunk, vulgar, and so innappropriate she almost got us both killed. That was her modus operanda when drinking, to hit on strange younger men and I'd be stuck with the problem of trying to get her home. Sometimes she hit on a guy with 'friends' and things turned ugly.
The world is a world of haves and have nots.  Those who have not often will resort to violence to get what they want especially under the influence of drugs or alcoohol , at night or out of the eyes of the public.
The police officer could just as well have told women to avoid back alleys, dark streets, going to parties where there are unknown strangers. I can remember once when I went to a party where I didn't know a lot of people and a group of bikers showed up. My 'sensitive' friend said let's leave and as we did the sofa was passing us onto the street through the plate glass window.  It was an 'after hours' club party with a lot of strangers, drugs and alcohol, alot of others got hurt and I was lucky to survive because my older friend was 'sensitive' to danger.
Leave early and watch who you associate with. In treating 'rape' victims so many of those I treated had been the 'naive' girl with the questionable friend. Indeed when I got to treating sociopaths I was interested in how many women got into 'procurement' for their friends less savoury associates.
I learned martial arts young.  My first martial arts was running.  My close and gorgeous friend says "I only wear my 5 inch heels when I don't plan to be walking."  There's a place for sensible shoes and a place for carrying slippers along with the sensible shoes.
I once made a point of asking beautiful women who had 'avoided' being attacked or raped, what their 'secret' was?  I didn't ask this to 'blame the raped' or to not 'blame the rapists'. I was curious.  The information was fascinating.  Mostly it was pretty practical.  They had stayed with groups, really 'vetted' men they dated, didn't get drunk and stoned, especially not with strangers, didn't accept rides from strangers, invited men to their place rather than go to his place. They had countless 'tips' which all were pretty reasonable, like the whole set of things I do to avoid sinking my sailboat at sea.  They're also the kinds of tips that protect me when I go into the wilderness.  I personally consider any setting where there are collections of strangers as 'wilderness'.  Sociopaths and psychopaths are 1 in 100 so where there are a thousand people I can expect at least 10 sociopaths.  Maybe 3 of these will be women.
I have also treated women who were raped when strange men came in the bathroom window, when dates turned ugly, when they were coming home from church in the morning or out walking the dog with rollers in their hair.  These rapes were done by predators.  They are like the grizzly bears or polar bears.  Some gangs, sociopaths, think if you are in their 'territory' you have to pay a 'toll' as a man, money, as a woman, sex.  The trouble is outsiders don't know their 'territories' and that's why travellers can get in a lot more trouble more easily than locals. My friend was raped and beaten in europe so badly she needed a splenectomy.  Wrong place and wrong time.
The police man was saying not that all rapes can be prevented but that some can be 'prevented'.  There are animals and bugs out there and everyone should beware of them. The police are the ones who often know them best and we all do well to listen to their wisdom in these matters.  I don't necessarily follow it because they have a 'selective perspective' whereas I've got a different perspective on the same 'fauna'.  That doesn't mean I don't really value the insights and wisdom that police experience gives.
Sociopaths aren't that uncommon.  Psychopaths however are rare.  Robert Hare, a forensic psychologist at UBC is a leading authority and his writing is highly informative.  I was surprised two of my high school classmates turned out to be  tag team 'serial rapist' pair.  They've never shown up at high school reunions since they were caught and arrested as adults.   They weren't like the BC pig farmer Pickton'who killed his victims and fed them to his pigs.  They weren't like  the drug dealer who liked to 'run a train' (give to a group of friends)  on a girl he'd got drunk and stoned.  These guys from my school were to all intents and purposes 'fine young men.'  They were from the best families, we played intramural sports together, they went to university, one I recall became an accountant and the other was studying to be a lawyer when they were caught. They were each other's alibi.  A couple of good looking guys with really fine cars and nice penthouse suites   who were really big on what would be called 'date rape' today but was down right 'rape' at sometimes. Their victims were in the hundreds. They liked to seduce the girl and then get violent, two on one, for instance, trapping the girl.
Nothing a girl wears or does is going to protect her from these guys.  Like polar bears who think humans are seals. These guys think others are just 'meat'. They lack a conscience.  For that reason I'm a big fan of women carrying purse guns and knowing how to use them.
I taught martial arts to women who had been sexually assault. I worked with a social worker by the name of Janice Robertson. She was offended by the inadequacy of most 'rape prograpms' that 'talked ' to the girls.  She was really concerned that women who had been raped once were at greater risk of being raped again. She wanted women to learn how not to act like 'victims' and how to confront men who would potentially be a threat.  She taught women to carry pepper spray and to 'laugh' at men loudly to get the attention of a crowd rather than screaming for help which in one New York study caused people to back away and become self protective. Laughter altered the dynamics for a particular case scenario. She taught women to recognise by admittedly profiling what they were up against. I taught women how to break holds, how to avoid the most obviously easily blocked escape strategies, and where to hurt men with the least likelihood of retaliation.
When I was protecting one woman from being raped pulling off the two men who were were ripping her clothes off her in a crowd, she was down to bra and panties when I was the only one of hundreds who came forward to her rescue,  I didn't look to see that there were six of them together. The others came to the first groups assistance and I was almost killed. I have nightmares for good reasons. I will never forget that day but the woman wasn't raped.  It was in another country.
I learned that day to scan the faces before I take action but then I learned a similar approach in first aid.  Observe first.  I once tried to stop a man from hitting his girlfriend outside a bar only to have her scream, "I'd rather my old man hit me than some faggot rescue me!"
In Vancouver there were some amazing policewomen that gave women a course on how to protect themselves.  I met one of the officers and was so impressed with the level of information that she imparted to women about 'how to act' and 'what to say' and 'what to do' when in threatening situations. I don't doubt that she would support the police officer who was trying to help women who wanted information personally on how to avoid situations.
"Slutwalk' isn't personal. It's politics and it's entertainment. It reminded me of the thrill I got marching in peace demonstrations.  I actually believed getting billy clubbed was going to contribute to peace on earth.  I'd not seen Nicholas Cage's movie on War about the profit in arms sales or Bowling for Columbine.  I think all those public demonstrations are great fun and so serious and boy do I miss the innocense of my youth. Slutwalk obviously has it's place, somewhere.  Today, when I talk about 'peace on earth' it's more likely in church looking at a cross where the greatest peacenik of all time is represented.
Preaching to the choir is common with these concerns.  Canada isn't a hot bed of 'rape' and abuse of women despite what the girls would have us believe.  I talk to women from war zones and refugee camps and they tell me that everyone is raped and often.  Poverty is a great place for rape.  "Slutwalks' don't really address the problems where soldiers and police and prison guards rape men and women.  Canada is a stable country with a great police force relative to the world and wealth with a long history of Queens as monarchs and women leaders in all fields and as many women telling the men who are their 'puppet leaders' what to do.
Texas is considered a 'man's state' but Mrs Bush the wife on one president and mother of another wasn't a 'victim' despite the teachings of ''marxist gender politics'.  I doubt very much she'd join a "Slutwalk'.  In contrast I'd be very interested in what Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin and Mrs. Bush would tell women they did to avoid being 'raped'. Because those are some very fine American women who are still beautiful and were clearly 'hot' when they were young. I'm sure their mothers had to talk to them too about what they wore out so I'd rather hear what they have to say than hear what the 'slutwalk' girls have to contribute.  It interests me who participates in what.  I really don't think Kate or William are going to be attending Slutwalk but I truly believe Kate has a lot of wisdom to share on the matter if only there was a forum where she could speak without fear of having the kind of retaliation that a police man had when he simply tried to help.
If no one noticed, this whole 'movement' set 'freedom of speech' back to the times of the neanderthall.  The 'slutwalk' is a kind of 'bullying', isn't it?  I'd think the perverts really liked getting an eyeful and would indeed encourage this thing whereas I don't think it did much for the policeman who was clearly trying to help. Indeed it might well have alienated more good men than anything else.  A similiar discussion went on recently about nudity in the local gay parade. On one hand there were those who wanted the community to be involved, families to bring out their children, whereas others wanted to be exhibitionist about nudity and same sex sexuality.  One might ask if the purpose of "Slutwalk" was for some women to dress like sluts and parade about or was it really about stopping rape.  It certainly isn't politically correct as to ask what is the best 'strategy' to this end and which 'tactics' have the greatest success.
None of the women in the Indian "Slutwalk" dressed like 'sluts'.  Interesting, eh?
Given that the greatest anti woman country in the world today is China with it's marxist and maoist ideaology which makes it's very simpatico with the 'marxist gender politics' no one seems to be caring that their solution to women in general has been to abort  female babies en mass.  A "slutwalk' in china would be aborted before it got started.
Moslems don't want their daughters to act like, dress like or be 'sluts'.  It's a major contention for societies where the family and tradition are still in tact.  Moslems aren't the only group who question the increasingly sexualization of women as commodity by Hollywood.  As tobacco companies are being held accountable for lung cancer perhaps a broader approach to 'rape' might be considered.  "Slutwalk' in this event would hold "hollywood' and the 'fashion industry' all not accountable as the tobacco industry has until just recently acted above the law.  We might at least get 'package warnings' on 'fishnet' stockings which would be as entertaining as the labels on cigarette packages. That is if we do consider rape as seriously as we consider cancer?
On the other hand if we want 'freedom' then there's a 'risk' involved.  Alot of female young and especially those with drug and alcohol problems find 'risk taking' exhilerating.  Every year there are skiiers who get lost on Whistler mountain by leaving the 'beaten path' and going off the 'trails' for excitement.  How 'safe' can indivdiuals be from 'themselves' and what do we as a society stand to lose in the quest for ultimate 'security' for 'all'.
The mentally retarded at the asylum I worked at were being raped.  I 've treated too many young men raped in prison. Their crime often is minor and yet the come out of jail with life long diseases as a result of the 'state' not accepting it's responsibility for it's participation in encouraging rape in prisons. This is a great 'dark secret'.  Yet when we look only at the 'catching the offenders' part of the equation we risk increaing state powers and increasing the number of rapes which occur with power, where absolute power corrupts absolutely. What lesson is to be learned from Quantanamero which Obama promised to close after the sexual offenses against men by women were made public, yet this institution remains open and conducting business today.
It will be a long time before men who are sexually abused will participate in a 'slutwalk'.
At the same time, it's the authority of those who are older, elders, psychologists, sociologists, anthropologists, psychaitrists,  police, survivors, and others who have answers for individuals and society that would serve. "Slutwalk' is obviously some kind of  answer.. It's a consciousness raiser.  For that it's to be acknowledged but is it really going to help lead to a real solution. I personally think that the missionaries I know who are working to increase education,  fight poverty and ignorance are doing something far more worthwhile in the long run. I think organizations like Avalon Women's Centre and the work of "L'Arche" societies do more to counteract the forces of evil which contribute to 'rape'.  I think psychopaths and many sociopaths don't learn and I think the police are doing their best to help women and shouldn't be 'mocked'.
My real objection is that I think the police man who was villified was an equally important part of the solution.  "Slutwalk' alienates the very men who would help women.  It can alienate fathers and mothers of daughters.  Any man who tries to help women might end up like that poor policeman.  If I hadn't written a treatise on the subject already I might well say, I'd not dare say or do anything when the consequences can be so dire.  I wonder how many women that police man had physically saved and how many times he had put his life on the line.  I know how many I have.  (I just remembered the time I stopped a man kicking his pregant wife in the belly and how scarey that was. I was really thankful when the police arrived.  I think, in Canada at least, we collectively owe a debt of gratitude to the police for their help.  I also think men who have been part of the solution should be thanked rather than abused collectively.


Ben Nuttall-Smith said...

I have just read the entire article. This should be published for all men and women to read. Having recently completed a "final" edit of my upcoming Secrets Kept / Secrets Told, I especially appreciated the section that read:
" Janice Robertson ... was really concerned that women who had been raped once were at greater risk of being raped again. She wanted women to learn how not to act like 'victims' and how to confront men who would potentially be a threat."
Men and women victims need to learn how not to appear as victims. Wounded chickens are pecked to death by the other chickens in the coop. Even teachers recognize a victim and sometimes become victimizers instead of protectors.

Anonymous said...

a complicated read of alot of subjects with a single thread

thanks for sharing