Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Dear God Today

Dear God,
I'm afraid again today.  You know I have courage. It's got me this far but I don't think you remember that I'm also afraid.  I fear that when there's a tough job I go because I volunteer.  I'm tired today, God.  I'm worried about the economic situation in the world. I'm worried that we're all working harder and that working harder isn't working smarter.  I worry that you're letting evil trolls, bad bankers, sick politicians, evil gambling stock raiders and communinists, don't forget the communists, control things with ease from the top and I'm working myself silly to stay out of debt and get by.  I worry I have these desires that I pick up from the past and the media that I should have a house or a pension or some kind of security and I don't have security but what security I have education, some money in RRSP's, years and years of towing the line and being a good boy, years of gritting my teeth and not riotting in the streets when riotting seemed as good as the next thing, that all this is making some bad guy rich. I feel like the police in communist nazi countries and Libya and places like that where maybe I wouldn't know that I was really just keeping a fat cat fat.  I want to know I'm working for you God and not Satan or whatever lower power image of greed and lust that reigns.  I'd like to think the gang I'm on is better than the other gang but I don't know Lord. Some days I just don't know. I pray that you guide me. Keep me right on track.  Help me to read the media which increasingly has news that purely entertainment and more fiction than fact.  Help me make sense of politics which confuses me. Help me be less afraid of the future and worried that the things I did in the past which I thought were right then were wrong.  Help me Lord be the best I can be today and serve you.  Help me God do the next right thing. Help me do my utmost for your highest.  Guide me in my speech.  Help me elevate and soothe and reassure and bring saniety to the chaos I confront daily. Help me guide others from paths of darkness to light.  Help me stay calm in the frightening terrifying places I go each day. Help me to be unafraid.  Help me to know you when I'm with someone who is so far from happiness or peace that their eyes are saucers and there's no threat in the room.  Help me Lord.  Let me know truth from lies.  Help me come to terms with growing older and losing the naivity and stupidity of the certainty of youth and tyranny.  Help me to use my intelligence for good rather than just criticizm. I need you to be with me today God.  If I stray, pull me closer.  Keep me aware that I'm not alone.  Help me to do what needs to be done and accept that what I can't get done is beyond me. I have so little time and feel so rushed and overwhelmed with so many demands every minute and everyone shouting and screaming and threatening and punishing me to do more in every minute but I have to say no and regardless of what they say help me lord priorize and order the cacophony of demand and complaint and aggression and violence that haunts my every working moment.  Remind me that I believed in peace and goodness and hoped that people not machines, people not lizards, people not sharks, sheepdogs not wolves would win out in time and let me live to see that time. Help me to not become everything that I didn't want to become and be what I most want to be.  I need you God.  I need you today.  I know you as Love.  Love, your distant relative.

No comments: