Dear God, E=MC2

Dear God,
Energy and matter are one as water and steam.  In the east they speak of individual and greater self.  Christians speak of this world being the shadow to the real world of spirit.  Earth sphere experience is transitory whereas the heavenly realms are eternal.  I am in the kindergarden or dungeon and hell is here if I am without you.  Hell isn't necessarily some physical place of burning and lust, like a prison today where drug dealers, terrorists, murderers and rapists can live together creating their own rules without the rule of law other than that of might is right.
This world can be a world of mind where I think I am alone when you are with me.  But to not know you is to not know hell as much as it is to not know heaven.  I am thankful for the dreams.  In my dreams I am with loving friends and family on adventures reminiscent of childhood.  In that I am reminded that this world is it's own adventure. I make it comedy or tragedy with my mind's eye.  I play my emotions across the landscapes of reality.  How I think of things is as much to do about how I feel about things.  This too shall pass and tomorrows event may make this event appear different in kind.  Ecclesiastes is the wisdom of the ages.
This day is sunny and warm and walking the dog I felt like I was in Winnipeg as a child.  Days I'd spend on my bicycle looking as far as the eye could see riding till I was tired and went home.  Sunny days like this were days of adventure and exploration.  I was curious about what was ahead.
Today I am curious about the day.  I am excited about the weekend. It's Friday and friday is when I'm finished my work for others and can set out to see what's over this next hill, around this next bend, across this body of water.  I went into medicine to find where things came from, to study the interface between energy and matter, mind and body.  I believed in surgery of all places that what we thought was what we became and that if we could pray and meditate we could come together with ourselves in peace.
Now aging I'm faced with wear and tear and eventual death.  Death is a door , I know.  Yet I'm desiring perpetual youth and to avoid death and decay and find immortality.  Which is odd because I don't particularly like this life in old age and the vehicle of my existence hurts most days in ways I'd rather not and I see a lump or bump on my skin and it's just what we call an age spot but I seem to have little control over this.  I don't know what control I ever had.  So little really.  Since where and when I was born was a decision made, to the best of my knowledge independent of me.  So I'm aging in a country and time when youth is all that matters and the media celebrates the beauty of strength and smooth skin and I'm facing years more of increasing threat of cancer, injury, decay, corruption.  All around me now there are those that are 'breaking down'.  Friends have heart attacks or strokes and I self centeredly consider that their age is my 'batch'.  My 'shelf life'. my group is facing gravity finally.  Everything is sagging and Alistair Munro wrote in Medical Post he's controlled by his bladder making mad dashes for 'urgency'.  We celebrated other causes.
It's a lottery, Lord.  I am facing my powerlessness. I am completely overwhelmed by not only not having found a cure for cancer in my life, found a way for people to get along for world peace and now I can't even find the elixer of youth and immortality, let alone get a leprechaun to find me a rainbow and pot of gold.  I'm in your hands and all my machinations and worry and conniving and struggling and believing and not believing and such, well, I think Immortality in this world is a bit above my pay grade.  Maybe if I could give the equation my undivided attention but I'm distracted by day to day business, keeping my boat afloat, paying the bills, feeding the dog and cat and staying out of the way of those angry folk that either stab in back alleys or lock people up.
I heard Ghadaffi killed thousands in a prison in under 2 hours.  That must be some kind of record.
People criticize Harper and Christy Clark. I rather like the man and woman.  Neither have killed two thousand Canadians in a prison during during their term.  Yet to hear some speak they're evil incarnate. Those people seem so far removed with their good life in Canada to actually know the choices aren't that great.  Harper compared to Ghadaffi is Ghandi, Mother Theresa and Clint Eastwood rolled in one with even a touch of Oprah and Angelina Jolie for good measure.  Yet maybe another like our now dead Jack Layton would have been marginally better. There's so much drama and hyperbole.  I look back and historically Canada has gone along time since we paid Indians to kill another Indian tribes.  We're 'decent'.  Canadians are 'decent' folk in general despite what Americans might call us.  We're a bit like a large Oklahoma in the US or Brighton in England.  More vanilla than pepper spray.
Yet I've been living the good life here while over there in Sudan people are starving.  How can I know real happiness 'alone'.  It's said that Jesus and Mohammed and Moses and Abraham and Krishna and everyone that matters in history came back and are waiting for the rest of us to stop thinking evil of our neighbours .  This is some sort of world where we go to learn to love one another and all the great men of history and the son of God himself are now waiting till we realize that none of us is alone but our happiness is limitted by the saddest of the least person on the planet.  No matter how many porche I can have I'll not know true happiness if a child is being raped in downtown Eastside vancouver because some one on drugs mistook the child for a porn star.  As Steppenwolf sings, Goddam the Pusherman.  We don't shoot each other with AK47 but use needles with heroin and pipes with crack to kill ourselves. We abort the next generation and put our money into cigarettes rather than education.
Lord, how can i help others today. How can I be of most service.  How can I forget about my death and live life in love.  Help me to do thy will. Help me to be of most service to you.  God, you are the CEO, supreme commander, the little flower and greatest sky, you God are my higher power, my all, my hope and I long to be closer to you and know my ways are your ways.  Guide me today.  Let me be the most I can be. Let me be my true self in you and for you.  Let me put aside childish things and become like child again trusting in you as my father and mother and know I am safe in your arms.  Show me where I'm to be and help me to do what it is you want of me. Let me not complain or be negative but rather reach deeper into myself to where I can find whatever it is I need to know thee more fully.  Touch me Lord.  Hold my hand today.  Help me be your eyes and ears and feet and hands and use me Lord.  Let me be a tool and channel and servant of yours.
And thank you Lord for the sunshine and sky and nature and the people. Thank you for this day, Lord.  Dear God may I make the most of this precious gift of time.  Yours truly, your servant.