Guide me today, Lord
Show me the places that I shall place my feet
Hold my hands where you would have them go
Let me hear what it is that you would have me say
Let me repeat your words and be your follower
I am weary, Lord. I am troubled
Lift me up. Carry me on Eagle's wings
Show me what it is you would have me do
Take away my confusion and strengthen my faith
Lead me, Lord.
Be my lodestar.
Be the Light at the end of the tunnel
Call me Lord, loudly that I might hear you and follow
Speak to me Lord that your voice can be my beacon
Help me through this day
That I may serve you better.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
SV Giri English Bay
We left dock late Friday night motoring across Coal Harbour to clear First Narrows after dark. We then motored across English Bay Kitsilano. At night everything was different. I've come here a half dozen times at night using Vancouver Yacht Club as a point of reference for finding Jericho where I usually anchor off the beach. I've heard the Vancouver Folk Festival from there a couple of nights enjoying the eclectic music as it wafted across the water. It's on next week though so I couldn't use the music as a navigational aid.
This time though there was construction and build up along the shore new to me so I became confused, fearing running aground on Spanish Banks. That's how I ended up turning about and anchoring with a forecast of NW 10 to 15 knot winds with lots of rode out at 25 feet depth off Kitsilano Beach. I was sure of Kitsilano Beach recognising the pool where I'd had many an enjoyable time swimming outdoors.
It may sounds strange but night can be spooky on a sailboat watching a depth sounder and trying to be certain where exactly one was. It didn't help that I was working off a little map with no shore line detail but then I once figured out I was at Saturna Island in the middle of the night by going ashore and reading the location on the post office door. GPS has certainly made it easier to avoid making mistakes about islands but here I was confused about beaches and I didn't have pin point gps locations for each of Vancouver's many varied and lovely beaches.
Laura, Gilbert and I awoke to a brilliant sunny morning off Kits Beach and simply stayed. I'd had vague thoughts about fishing but lying about reading, puttering and cooking seemed more in keeping with this rare sunshine experience in Vancouver. Half the city seemed on the beach from the festive sounds we heard across the water. I cooked Scottish porridge in the morning. One evening I barbecued elk steaks I'd marinated and we had those with caesar salad. I'd bought cold cuts, Montreal Smoked Beef and such from this magnificent deli grocery on Commercial Street. That with their multi grain organic bread and polish mustard from Lonsdale North Vancouver made for real scrumptuous lunches.
Both Laura and I read detective novels. She was reading a Grisham while I completed a William Lashner. Then I read a fast moving read, Afghan Assault, by Alan Caillou, a screenwriter for Bonanza, Rat Patrol and Man from Uncle. I couldn't help but appreciate what a clean writer Caillou was, typical of the unadulterated fast moving adventure writing of his day. The book was written in 1972. I picked it up at BookMan in Chilliwack one of my all time favourite second hand book stores. Canadian troops were in Afghanistan at the time and Laura and I were enjoying the Combat Hospital tv series, an excellent Canadian British military medical drama. I saw this pocket book last winter and thought it would be a good summer 'boat' read. Through fiction I find it's often enlightening to learn in a relatively enjoyable way something of the history, geography and such of a place. Thanks to the internet now I can Google wickipedia and look up more bits from Wickipidia as I move along in the novel. Afghanistan has been a country of war and tribes forever. Alan Caillou captured that sense of constant strife, tribes fighting each other only to turn on outsiders back to the time of Alexander. The story was of Tobin's "Private Army" which in the early 70's certainly predated Blackwater. Caillou described well the new challenge of guerilla warfare, security and intelligence in tribal countries. A quarter century ago and not much has changed to my mind based on what I'd read in "Outside the Wire", Kevin Patterson and Jane Warren's collection of real accounts of the most recent Afghanistan war.
Working in the high stress and tragic world of drug addiction I appreciate the well intentioned but failed attempts at the eradication of poppy fields in the east and coca plants in the south. It's no different than the attempts to contain the multi billion dollar cannibis agricultural business of British Columbia. Well intentioned but by Harvard studies a dismal lack of success. Drug courts and treatment have been the mainstay success in addressing drug addiction. Narcotics Anonymous and other abstinence measures are the treatment of choice but Methadone Maintenance is probably the best of the harm reduction models. That's the area of medicine and psychiatry I now work a couple of days a week in. It's not easy but any success is so rewarding.
The War on Drugs begat the War on Terror and we can only hope that there is greater success through this approach since terrorism is definitely more of a threat than even the all powerful psychosis inducing "BC Bud". Crack is the real tragedy I deal with these day. That and crystal methamphetamine. Those are really wicked grab you by the throat and hold on vices.
After days of dealing with the repressed anger and entitlement that comes along with drug addiction, all that 'displaced anger' with the 'pusher', spilling over onto the treatment team, I was glad to have a couple of days of bouncing about at anchor lounging in the sun reading. It reminded me of a summer day as a kid in the back yard with a friend reading comic books. I relaxed again though had a series of text messages dealing with a severely disturbed youth, who at 30 has less intelligence and emotional maturity than most teen agers.
I actually thought about putting the dinghy in the water and making a run over to Granville Island for a "break'. Such 'active' thoughts didn't go far. Just like I thought about lifting the anchor and sailing about English Bay with all the little boats sailing in one of the weekly regattas or joining the sailing races that went on around us. I thought of raising anchor and fishing too. But reading and barbecuing like the folks on the beach across from us got the better of me. I did just about nothing and didn't even feel too guilty for it.
I did read some of William Gibson's collection of articles in his book "Distrust That Particular Flavor." Reading some of that and a chapter of Christian Theology by Erickson was all the more 'serious' reading I could do.
My brother phoned about my father's difficult night. He rallied once again and we were all thankful that Dad in his 90's dodged another bullet. I'd read psalms for a while after the phone call always finding psalms a sure antidote for stressful times.
Gilbert did his business on the front deck of the boat, easy to pick up once dried. The new wind generator Jim installed this spring worked according to spec. I was able to charge Laura and my phones with the little Onos double palm size collapsible solar panel charger I picked up at Mountain Coop for around $70. Amazing little bit of portable tech for hikers and such. It a really well conceived and designed and worked best with Laura's Blackberry . We used the Honda 1000 generator to charge the lap tops and phones too. I can run things off the engine battery as I did the night lights. I've lots of power and with the alternator can charge the ship batteries, 8 deep cell marine batteries with loads of power. There's the new wind generator and my ship solar panels too. However, It's just like I found in Mexico when I was cruising in the hot Sea of Cortez. One would rather not use the main engine for charging because it warms up the cabin. Better to use a little generator or even better a portable solar panel for cell phones.
At night we watched an episode or two of Netflix TV. Life is the zen detective series we're enjoying now about a falsely accused LA cop who was released and returned to the force after 12 years in prison. A modern day Count of Monte Cristo with a twist. The man and woman detective couple are truly endearing like Cagney and Lacey were. Admittedly I love being lost in the drama enjoying all the delights that a kid has hearing a story about a campfire but at the same time I 'm fascinated by the structure and making of the behind the scenes writing and development. So much of this show is in the characters, two previously relatively unknown actors Damian Lewis, playing Charlie Crews and Sarah Shahi, as Dani Reese, have a real chemistry together as homicide detectives. That really ignites the rather well conceived plots. An animal rights and pharmaceutical research episode was particularly well thought out.
When i started the Yanmar diesel engine to return it overheated. I found the problem was a leaking hose on the raw water pump for the heat exchange. I was able to fix this myself removing hose clamps and cutting away the damaged hose with enough hose left over to make a new connection. I was also delighted to phone my friend Tom Kennedy and discuss the problem with him to see if I needed to back track the possible cause. A brief discussion of engines lead to my simply running at reduced speed while keeping an eye on the water temperature guage. Part of my caution with the SV GIRI has been that I've had work done on the boat and these weekend outings I'm trying things out all the while waiting to fix the leaking shaft seals on the stuffingless stuffing box.
I'd calculated the passage under First Narrows to coincide with the calm waters of the turn with an inflow current catching us as we crossed Coal Harbour beyond. Thanks to my bottom carrying an ocean of mussels and sea weed and the third reduction on my motor speed I was only doing a couple of knots going through a narrows where 5 knots current routinely is running this time of year. A pesky but huge freighter honked and bellowed at me to get out of his way too which added to the challenge. I, like a slow moving mouse before a monster cat turned one way at agonizing slow speed only to get another bellow before turning in the opposite direction to satisfy the monster that I was no longer to be his dinner meal.
A kind and safe docking followed. The previous week I'd not completely disengaged the engine so had to wrestle with a 13 ton craft like a rodeo cowboy with ropes and a wayward steer. All was well when I was able to tell Laura which knob to pull out to take the boat out of gear. Landing a ship is like landing a plane. There are no bad landings where crew and craft are uninjured. Just some are slightly embarrassing. This week I actually looked like I knew what I was doing. Which I suppose I do though every trip still carries that potential for adventure and all the surprises nature can and will throw at mere humans.
The sunshine and warmth sure were a treat after all the promise of 'global warming' and no tangible evidence of that here in the northern hemisphere and climes. Given the crowds on the beach and the number of boats on the water everyone along with us enjoyed the long awaited local warming and advent of somewhat delayed summer.
This time though there was construction and build up along the shore new to me so I became confused, fearing running aground on Spanish Banks. That's how I ended up turning about and anchoring with a forecast of NW 10 to 15 knot winds with lots of rode out at 25 feet depth off Kitsilano Beach. I was sure of Kitsilano Beach recognising the pool where I'd had many an enjoyable time swimming outdoors.
It may sounds strange but night can be spooky on a sailboat watching a depth sounder and trying to be certain where exactly one was. It didn't help that I was working off a little map with no shore line detail but then I once figured out I was at Saturna Island in the middle of the night by going ashore and reading the location on the post office door. GPS has certainly made it easier to avoid making mistakes about islands but here I was confused about beaches and I didn't have pin point gps locations for each of Vancouver's many varied and lovely beaches.
Laura, Gilbert and I awoke to a brilliant sunny morning off Kits Beach and simply stayed. I'd had vague thoughts about fishing but lying about reading, puttering and cooking seemed more in keeping with this rare sunshine experience in Vancouver. Half the city seemed on the beach from the festive sounds we heard across the water. I cooked Scottish porridge in the morning. One evening I barbecued elk steaks I'd marinated and we had those with caesar salad. I'd bought cold cuts, Montreal Smoked Beef and such from this magnificent deli grocery on Commercial Street. That with their multi grain organic bread and polish mustard from Lonsdale North Vancouver made for real scrumptuous lunches.
Both Laura and I read detective novels. She was reading a Grisham while I completed a William Lashner. Then I read a fast moving read, Afghan Assault, by Alan Caillou, a screenwriter for Bonanza, Rat Patrol and Man from Uncle. I couldn't help but appreciate what a clean writer Caillou was, typical of the unadulterated fast moving adventure writing of his day. The book was written in 1972. I picked it up at BookMan in Chilliwack one of my all time favourite second hand book stores. Canadian troops were in Afghanistan at the time and Laura and I were enjoying the Combat Hospital tv series, an excellent Canadian British military medical drama. I saw this pocket book last winter and thought it would be a good summer 'boat' read. Through fiction I find it's often enlightening to learn in a relatively enjoyable way something of the history, geography and such of a place. Thanks to the internet now I can Google wickipedia and look up more bits from Wickipidia as I move along in the novel. Afghanistan has been a country of war and tribes forever. Alan Caillou captured that sense of constant strife, tribes fighting each other only to turn on outsiders back to the time of Alexander. The story was of Tobin's "Private Army" which in the early 70's certainly predated Blackwater. Caillou described well the new challenge of guerilla warfare, security and intelligence in tribal countries. A quarter century ago and not much has changed to my mind based on what I'd read in "Outside the Wire", Kevin Patterson and Jane Warren's collection of real accounts of the most recent Afghanistan war.
Working in the high stress and tragic world of drug addiction I appreciate the well intentioned but failed attempts at the eradication of poppy fields in the east and coca plants in the south. It's no different than the attempts to contain the multi billion dollar cannibis agricultural business of British Columbia. Well intentioned but by Harvard studies a dismal lack of success. Drug courts and treatment have been the mainstay success in addressing drug addiction. Narcotics Anonymous and other abstinence measures are the treatment of choice but Methadone Maintenance is probably the best of the harm reduction models. That's the area of medicine and psychiatry I now work a couple of days a week in. It's not easy but any success is so rewarding.
The War on Drugs begat the War on Terror and we can only hope that there is greater success through this approach since terrorism is definitely more of a threat than even the all powerful psychosis inducing "BC Bud". Crack is the real tragedy I deal with these day. That and crystal methamphetamine. Those are really wicked grab you by the throat and hold on vices.
After days of dealing with the repressed anger and entitlement that comes along with drug addiction, all that 'displaced anger' with the 'pusher', spilling over onto the treatment team, I was glad to have a couple of days of bouncing about at anchor lounging in the sun reading. It reminded me of a summer day as a kid in the back yard with a friend reading comic books. I relaxed again though had a series of text messages dealing with a severely disturbed youth, who at 30 has less intelligence and emotional maturity than most teen agers.
I actually thought about putting the dinghy in the water and making a run over to Granville Island for a "break'. Such 'active' thoughts didn't go far. Just like I thought about lifting the anchor and sailing about English Bay with all the little boats sailing in one of the weekly regattas or joining the sailing races that went on around us. I thought of raising anchor and fishing too. But reading and barbecuing like the folks on the beach across from us got the better of me. I did just about nothing and didn't even feel too guilty for it.
I did read some of William Gibson's collection of articles in his book "Distrust That Particular Flavor." Reading some of that and a chapter of Christian Theology by Erickson was all the more 'serious' reading I could do.
My brother phoned about my father's difficult night. He rallied once again and we were all thankful that Dad in his 90's dodged another bullet. I'd read psalms for a while after the phone call always finding psalms a sure antidote for stressful times.
Gilbert did his business on the front deck of the boat, easy to pick up once dried. The new wind generator Jim installed this spring worked according to spec. I was able to charge Laura and my phones with the little Onos double palm size collapsible solar panel charger I picked up at Mountain Coop for around $70. Amazing little bit of portable tech for hikers and such. It a really well conceived and designed and worked best with Laura's Blackberry . We used the Honda 1000 generator to charge the lap tops and phones too. I can run things off the engine battery as I did the night lights. I've lots of power and with the alternator can charge the ship batteries, 8 deep cell marine batteries with loads of power. There's the new wind generator and my ship solar panels too. However, It's just like I found in Mexico when I was cruising in the hot Sea of Cortez. One would rather not use the main engine for charging because it warms up the cabin. Better to use a little generator or even better a portable solar panel for cell phones.
At night we watched an episode or two of Netflix TV. Life is the zen detective series we're enjoying now about a falsely accused LA cop who was released and returned to the force after 12 years in prison. A modern day Count of Monte Cristo with a twist. The man and woman detective couple are truly endearing like Cagney and Lacey were. Admittedly I love being lost in the drama enjoying all the delights that a kid has hearing a story about a campfire but at the same time I 'm fascinated by the structure and making of the behind the scenes writing and development. So much of this show is in the characters, two previously relatively unknown actors Damian Lewis, playing Charlie Crews and Sarah Shahi, as Dani Reese, have a real chemistry together as homicide detectives. That really ignites the rather well conceived plots. An animal rights and pharmaceutical research episode was particularly well thought out.
When i started the Yanmar diesel engine to return it overheated. I found the problem was a leaking hose on the raw water pump for the heat exchange. I was able to fix this myself removing hose clamps and cutting away the damaged hose with enough hose left over to make a new connection. I was also delighted to phone my friend Tom Kennedy and discuss the problem with him to see if I needed to back track the possible cause. A brief discussion of engines lead to my simply running at reduced speed while keeping an eye on the water temperature guage. Part of my caution with the SV GIRI has been that I've had work done on the boat and these weekend outings I'm trying things out all the while waiting to fix the leaking shaft seals on the stuffingless stuffing box.
I'd calculated the passage under First Narrows to coincide with the calm waters of the turn with an inflow current catching us as we crossed Coal Harbour beyond. Thanks to my bottom carrying an ocean of mussels and sea weed and the third reduction on my motor speed I was only doing a couple of knots going through a narrows where 5 knots current routinely is running this time of year. A pesky but huge freighter honked and bellowed at me to get out of his way too which added to the challenge. I, like a slow moving mouse before a monster cat turned one way at agonizing slow speed only to get another bellow before turning in the opposite direction to satisfy the monster that I was no longer to be his dinner meal.
A kind and safe docking followed. The previous week I'd not completely disengaged the engine so had to wrestle with a 13 ton craft like a rodeo cowboy with ropes and a wayward steer. All was well when I was able to tell Laura which knob to pull out to take the boat out of gear. Landing a ship is like landing a plane. There are no bad landings where crew and craft are uninjured. Just some are slightly embarrassing. This week I actually looked like I knew what I was doing. Which I suppose I do though every trip still carries that potential for adventure and all the surprises nature can and will throw at mere humans.
The sunshine and warmth sure were a treat after all the promise of 'global warming' and no tangible evidence of that here in the northern hemisphere and climes. Given the crowds on the beach and the number of boats on the water everyone along with us enjoyed the long awaited local warming and advent of somewhat delayed summer.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Generosity, debt, character and addiction.
If you give a child a toy they believe it is their toy.
Sociologists and social psychologists have shown that some cultures have only this level of development. They may say they 'find' things and that they only 'use' them but at some level they have what is 'theirs' and will 'fight' to keep what is theirs.
It's like taking the toy back from a child. They are glad to receive but they are unwilling to share.
Psychopaths take but don't give except in a self serving way.
Sharing is a developmental stage in individuals and cultures.
Taking and not giving, speaks to entitlement and is central in characterological disorders.
Do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Don't do to others what you would not have done to yourself.
This is central in all advanced cultures and reflects personal characterological development.
Intellectuals with tenure are happy to talk theoretically about everything but mostly want their holiday pay increased. In the real world there's all manner of basic behaviour which speaks to the differential development of individuals and groups.
In recent years there's significant work well beyond the 'survival of the fittest' ,in the 'cooperative behaviour' and the very community qualities that allow for advancement in societies.
Seligman's research into positive 'character traits' show that the capacity to forgive as opposed to vengeance is a quality that can grow with maturity and reduce the tendency to destruction.
Laws with consequences are developed to help those who only do what is right because they can be 'hurt' if they don't. At the highest level of development people and even cultures will do what is 'right' because it is best for all in the long run and even the short run. Altruism is seen in Bill Gates now and may yet be true of Zuckerman though the story of Duddy Kravitz makes potential late comers to the world of community open to question. The Mafia would commonly consolidate their holdings then give to churches and hospitals late in life if only in hope of legitimizing themselves.
Without money there are barter systems and people 'exchange' with a view to sharing fairly. Niall Ferguson in his book Ascent of Moneyt shows the history of the development of not only exhange but loans and risk management.
Today if I loan you $10 you pay me back $10 as a friend. If I loan as a bank you pay me back $10 plus interest.
Still there are those who have not got beyond diapers and don't pay back especially within the period of time allotted.
When this occurs it's worthwhile to consider addiction as an explanation. Addicts, alcoholics, gamblers especially, debtors commonly, shopaholics, all are very good at 'taking' and 'borrowing' but are very bad at 'repaying'.
The world has a 'bankruptcy' provision but before these individuals may go financially bankrupt they go spiritually bankrupt, becoming increasingly ego driven rather than be a giving part of community and acting as they would have others act to them.
Sociopaths are those who have rules of behaviour within a gang, such as thou shalt not steal from a gang member, but it's okay to steal from a non gang member. They're a primitive tribal society and lack the capacity for success on their own but succeed as parasites on the body of real culture and real society. When they are put in jails with other gang members all they want to do is get away from each other because they do not like the codes they live by when they lack a "host" or "innoscent", someone who is whole and can survive, even thrive, in community according to social laws. That's what makes sociopaths like viruses, they can't succeed alone.. They lack the basic material to exist or survive on their own whereas without them the main stream culture would succeed regardless.
Developmentally they have never left the teat from a psychiatric perspective demanding that Mommy feed them for free long after the normal breast feeding period of culturally maximally 2 years. Lacking some developmental capacity or as a product of the psychological regression caused by addictive behaviours they make everything a teat especially society.
It's not unique to any culture. Even mother birds can be seen to push babies out of the nest to make them fly, the last one leaving long after the others have left through interest or maturity. Toughlove was developped as a term to describe the parenting and social response appropriate to these individuals who are described as lacking a 'conscience'.
Historically society has separated those who 'can't care for themselves', ie the sick, from those who 'won't care fro themselves'. Drug addiction and personality disorders are interesting in that they straddle these two traditional paradigms.
A colleague who is famous as a cultural psychiatrist was a prisoner and survived the Pol Pot. He was fascinated that the terrorists controlled the people's food and without food so many who at first 'couldn't' or 'wouldn't' did. Victor Frankl,the famous psychiatrist who survived the Nazi death camps described how people of character were unaffected by the worst abuses, their character strengths surviving despite abuse. Victor Frankl saw the Jobs of the world as well as those who could not rise above their inadequacy.
Interestingly as a consequence of both observations by psychiatrists in the worst situations we can learn that individuals who have 'developed' characterologically and become more spiritually advanced don't lose this under duress. Similiarly those who wouldn't work under normal conditions will work or contribute or share, would under duress. The latter is a well recognised but often forgetten fact that has resulted in the term 'enabling' in relationship to the 'bleeding heart' 'liberal left' 'society as mommy's teat' approach which rewards people with all manner of gifts for no product.
These 'players' and 'takers' were the subject of the book "Culture of Narcissism" predicting a future group of consumers who had lost their capacity for citizenship being like the "Hollow Men" of T.S. Elliott.
Necessity is well recognised as the mother of invention and genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. That said, there's a fine line one has to walk in regards to providing 'support' and reward for progress as compared to rewarding poor behaviour.
The fact is individuals, myself included , seem to need a combination of carrot and stick. Where along the line does that 'sweet spot' between the two fall for a society.
I certainly don't think our present society is helping addicts by giving them 'money' to feed their addiction. At the same time I don't think society should function only on the basis of a 'stick' and the 'carrot' should be a healthy sustaining vegetable at least.
Developmentally we need to look at individuals and cultures. The United Nations was funded for years. it's come out with a number of statements about ethics, morality and measures of cultural development which seem little used as there is a tendency to say everything is equal. A killing raping pillaging culture is not equal to one that does not murder, steal and rape. I look to the United Nations for 'agreements' but instead have found that more often than not it's just a lot of priviledged voices of self interest. The World Health Organization by contrast has impressed me by it's development of standards for all and aggreements. There has been forward progress in international courts as well.
But here locally there seems to be continued support for poor behaviour rather than resources being specifically given to those who are making forward progress in what are clearly aggreed levels of development.
Individually there are alot of examples of errors in this regard. One that comes to mind is the society which only gives support to those who are in need after they have exhausted their resources. So the elderly who saved and cared for their future may suddenly be expected to use up their personal resources whereas another who never saved gets equal access to nursing home services.
This kind of situation occurs with a variety of 'government' services and the refusal to be real about resource management. As a doctor I am held accountable for not referring a person to a specialist yet that person doesn't keep their appointments and a specialist might refuse to see other patients from my practice if my patients don't keep their appointments. Specialists in my area only get paid if the patient shows up for an appointment.
I can then be criticized for 'profiling' or 'discrimination' if I send my patient who doesn't keep appointments by evidence to the general clinic which has a year waitlist.
Resource management is like money in this sense. Who do we 'loan' it too and what obligation do we expect of those who are happy enough to 'take' money but don't return it. Not only is t his an issue on the individual scale it's also an issue in the banking and business world. Our very 'systems' are archaic relative to what we know today about these matters.
I must become more self caring in my generosity. the Bible encourages us to give more to those who plant the seeds well. Not surprisingly Carengie, Rockerfeller and finally even Johnny Come Lately Warren Buffet have seen the reward of philanthropism but Oprah would argue but that they should give to those who most produce. Donald Trump is painful but true in his rewarding those who are productive. Society is upside down in this regard now literally rewarding bad behaviour and poor outcomes in a variety of ways, most ostensibly the recent bank crisis where CEO's were given raises for losing the stockholders money.
It comes down to this issue of Love thy neighbour as thyself really. Loving is not 'feeding' as an obese America is dying from a gluttony of excess. In 12 step programs they say "carry the message', "not the person'. I have to remember that addiction club houses commonly have signs 'no lending or borrowing' . Lending and borrowing might well be something that needs to be left to the professionals like "suicidal and homicidal behaviour." Families and friends no longer have the means to address those individuals who renege on agreements, the courts are unweildy in this regard and the alternative is selling such debts to 'gangs'.
My own experience with lending is that the people I've lent to haven't in general paid back whereas I've paid all my debts and don't borrow in an 'unsecured' way. Yet I've lent money in an 'unsecured' way. There are simply too many immature people and addicts, psychopaths and sociopaths out there. Yet the sun shines on all and if we are to be like the 'sun' then we need to consider this in the equation of lending and borrowing.
Never lend more than you can afford to lose.
Never borrow more than you can afford to pay back.
Never lend to addicts. That's my new rule but I've had this one in the list before and wonder why I come back round to this one.
In 12 step programs people are expected to pay back what they have taken financially. It's part of the program of recovery. Making amends. Also increasingly the courts are finding that 'community service' is a way of making amends. People who owed money but couldn't pay historically worked as 'servants' to pay off their debts. This 'indentured' labour' was a good thing when it was limitted to smaller amounts. It got out of hand and was abused when instead of a year of work it was extended into years of work. Perhaps different systems should be considered rather than the simple Crime Family solution of taking a finger or a knee cap.
Indeed an eye for an eye was the first law of 'mercy' not justice. Justice was considered that you hurt me by not repaying your debt so I could wipe out your village. An eye for an eye was the beginning law of commerce. You return what you take. The Yakuza had a system that said that a person who offended the boss by not paying the money they owed would send a little finger as recognition of the indebtedness and a promise to pay. This was clarification of the debtor knowing that they had hurt the lendor and without such a system the lender could well extract what he 'felt' was the payment.
The Revenue Canada Service and the IRS have their ways of getting their debts met.
Historically a person's word was his 'name' but today that's not as powerful a determinant as it once was. The internet has been a place were various 'criminal's have been listed, so that pedophile lists exist and possibly society will not so much need a 'credit' rating but a history of 'bad credit' individuals.
It's not 'multi culturalism alone but multiculturalism has been faulted for being 'cultureless' since there are by nature cultures that are higher and those that are lower. Cultures aren't all equal. Neither are people. It's where the rubber hits the road that the differences arise.
I'm struggling with this because people who are generous are considered merely 'marks' by drug addicts and gang members as parasites and hosts have no difficulty sucking the life out of them before moving onto their next victim.
I enjoyed the television series Jericho because it addressed these same ideas at a higher level than the almost equally enjoyable Sons of Anarchy television series which addressed issues of ethics and morality in gangs as opposed to whole self sufficient communities. Gangs as I've already said have the cultural life of parasites or virus despite having inherrently attractive features like the historic 'noble savage' or the baby faces of members.
Sociologists and social psychologists have shown that some cultures have only this level of development. They may say they 'find' things and that they only 'use' them but at some level they have what is 'theirs' and will 'fight' to keep what is theirs.
It's like taking the toy back from a child. They are glad to receive but they are unwilling to share.
Psychopaths take but don't give except in a self serving way.
Sharing is a developmental stage in individuals and cultures.
Taking and not giving, speaks to entitlement and is central in characterological disorders.
Do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Don't do to others what you would not have done to yourself.
This is central in all advanced cultures and reflects personal characterological development.
Intellectuals with tenure are happy to talk theoretically about everything but mostly want their holiday pay increased. In the real world there's all manner of basic behaviour which speaks to the differential development of individuals and groups.
In recent years there's significant work well beyond the 'survival of the fittest' ,in the 'cooperative behaviour' and the very community qualities that allow for advancement in societies.
Seligman's research into positive 'character traits' show that the capacity to forgive as opposed to vengeance is a quality that can grow with maturity and reduce the tendency to destruction.
Laws with consequences are developed to help those who only do what is right because they can be 'hurt' if they don't. At the highest level of development people and even cultures will do what is 'right' because it is best for all in the long run and even the short run. Altruism is seen in Bill Gates now and may yet be true of Zuckerman though the story of Duddy Kravitz makes potential late comers to the world of community open to question. The Mafia would commonly consolidate their holdings then give to churches and hospitals late in life if only in hope of legitimizing themselves.
Without money there are barter systems and people 'exchange' with a view to sharing fairly. Niall Ferguson in his book Ascent of Moneyt shows the history of the development of not only exhange but loans and risk management.
Today if I loan you $10 you pay me back $10 as a friend. If I loan as a bank you pay me back $10 plus interest.
Still there are those who have not got beyond diapers and don't pay back especially within the period of time allotted.
When this occurs it's worthwhile to consider addiction as an explanation. Addicts, alcoholics, gamblers especially, debtors commonly, shopaholics, all are very good at 'taking' and 'borrowing' but are very bad at 'repaying'.
The world has a 'bankruptcy' provision but before these individuals may go financially bankrupt they go spiritually bankrupt, becoming increasingly ego driven rather than be a giving part of community and acting as they would have others act to them.
Sociopaths are those who have rules of behaviour within a gang, such as thou shalt not steal from a gang member, but it's okay to steal from a non gang member. They're a primitive tribal society and lack the capacity for success on their own but succeed as parasites on the body of real culture and real society. When they are put in jails with other gang members all they want to do is get away from each other because they do not like the codes they live by when they lack a "host" or "innoscent", someone who is whole and can survive, even thrive, in community according to social laws. That's what makes sociopaths like viruses, they can't succeed alone.. They lack the basic material to exist or survive on their own whereas without them the main stream culture would succeed regardless.
Developmentally they have never left the teat from a psychiatric perspective demanding that Mommy feed them for free long after the normal breast feeding period of culturally maximally 2 years. Lacking some developmental capacity or as a product of the psychological regression caused by addictive behaviours they make everything a teat especially society.
It's not unique to any culture. Even mother birds can be seen to push babies out of the nest to make them fly, the last one leaving long after the others have left through interest or maturity. Toughlove was developped as a term to describe the parenting and social response appropriate to these individuals who are described as lacking a 'conscience'.
Historically society has separated those who 'can't care for themselves', ie the sick, from those who 'won't care fro themselves'. Drug addiction and personality disorders are interesting in that they straddle these two traditional paradigms.
A colleague who is famous as a cultural psychiatrist was a prisoner and survived the Pol Pot. He was fascinated that the terrorists controlled the people's food and without food so many who at first 'couldn't' or 'wouldn't' did. Victor Frankl,the famous psychiatrist who survived the Nazi death camps described how people of character were unaffected by the worst abuses, their character strengths surviving despite abuse. Victor Frankl saw the Jobs of the world as well as those who could not rise above their inadequacy.
Interestingly as a consequence of both observations by psychiatrists in the worst situations we can learn that individuals who have 'developed' characterologically and become more spiritually advanced don't lose this under duress. Similiarly those who wouldn't work under normal conditions will work or contribute or share, would under duress. The latter is a well recognised but often forgetten fact that has resulted in the term 'enabling' in relationship to the 'bleeding heart' 'liberal left' 'society as mommy's teat' approach which rewards people with all manner of gifts for no product.
These 'players' and 'takers' were the subject of the book "Culture of Narcissism" predicting a future group of consumers who had lost their capacity for citizenship being like the "Hollow Men" of T.S. Elliott.
Necessity is well recognised as the mother of invention and genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. That said, there's a fine line one has to walk in regards to providing 'support' and reward for progress as compared to rewarding poor behaviour.
The fact is individuals, myself included , seem to need a combination of carrot and stick. Where along the line does that 'sweet spot' between the two fall for a society.
I certainly don't think our present society is helping addicts by giving them 'money' to feed their addiction. At the same time I don't think society should function only on the basis of a 'stick' and the 'carrot' should be a healthy sustaining vegetable at least.
Developmentally we need to look at individuals and cultures. The United Nations was funded for years. it's come out with a number of statements about ethics, morality and measures of cultural development which seem little used as there is a tendency to say everything is equal. A killing raping pillaging culture is not equal to one that does not murder, steal and rape. I look to the United Nations for 'agreements' but instead have found that more often than not it's just a lot of priviledged voices of self interest. The World Health Organization by contrast has impressed me by it's development of standards for all and aggreements. There has been forward progress in international courts as well.
But here locally there seems to be continued support for poor behaviour rather than resources being specifically given to those who are making forward progress in what are clearly aggreed levels of development.
Individually there are alot of examples of errors in this regard. One that comes to mind is the society which only gives support to those who are in need after they have exhausted their resources. So the elderly who saved and cared for their future may suddenly be expected to use up their personal resources whereas another who never saved gets equal access to nursing home services.
This kind of situation occurs with a variety of 'government' services and the refusal to be real about resource management. As a doctor I am held accountable for not referring a person to a specialist yet that person doesn't keep their appointments and a specialist might refuse to see other patients from my practice if my patients don't keep their appointments. Specialists in my area only get paid if the patient shows up for an appointment.
I can then be criticized for 'profiling' or 'discrimination' if I send my patient who doesn't keep appointments by evidence to the general clinic which has a year waitlist.
Resource management is like money in this sense. Who do we 'loan' it too and what obligation do we expect of those who are happy enough to 'take' money but don't return it. Not only is t his an issue on the individual scale it's also an issue in the banking and business world. Our very 'systems' are archaic relative to what we know today about these matters.
I must become more self caring in my generosity. the Bible encourages us to give more to those who plant the seeds well. Not surprisingly Carengie, Rockerfeller and finally even Johnny Come Lately Warren Buffet have seen the reward of philanthropism but Oprah would argue but that they should give to those who most produce. Donald Trump is painful but true in his rewarding those who are productive. Society is upside down in this regard now literally rewarding bad behaviour and poor outcomes in a variety of ways, most ostensibly the recent bank crisis where CEO's were given raises for losing the stockholders money.
It comes down to this issue of Love thy neighbour as thyself really. Loving is not 'feeding' as an obese America is dying from a gluttony of excess. In 12 step programs they say "carry the message', "not the person'. I have to remember that addiction club houses commonly have signs 'no lending or borrowing' . Lending and borrowing might well be something that needs to be left to the professionals like "suicidal and homicidal behaviour." Families and friends no longer have the means to address those individuals who renege on agreements, the courts are unweildy in this regard and the alternative is selling such debts to 'gangs'.
My own experience with lending is that the people I've lent to haven't in general paid back whereas I've paid all my debts and don't borrow in an 'unsecured' way. Yet I've lent money in an 'unsecured' way. There are simply too many immature people and addicts, psychopaths and sociopaths out there. Yet the sun shines on all and if we are to be like the 'sun' then we need to consider this in the equation of lending and borrowing.
Never lend more than you can afford to lose.
Never borrow more than you can afford to pay back.
Never lend to addicts. That's my new rule but I've had this one in the list before and wonder why I come back round to this one.
In 12 step programs people are expected to pay back what they have taken financially. It's part of the program of recovery. Making amends. Also increasingly the courts are finding that 'community service' is a way of making amends. People who owed money but couldn't pay historically worked as 'servants' to pay off their debts. This 'indentured' labour' was a good thing when it was limitted to smaller amounts. It got out of hand and was abused when instead of a year of work it was extended into years of work. Perhaps different systems should be considered rather than the simple Crime Family solution of taking a finger or a knee cap.
Indeed an eye for an eye was the first law of 'mercy' not justice. Justice was considered that you hurt me by not repaying your debt so I could wipe out your village. An eye for an eye was the beginning law of commerce. You return what you take. The Yakuza had a system that said that a person who offended the boss by not paying the money they owed would send a little finger as recognition of the indebtedness and a promise to pay. This was clarification of the debtor knowing that they had hurt the lendor and without such a system the lender could well extract what he 'felt' was the payment.
The Revenue Canada Service and the IRS have their ways of getting their debts met.
Historically a person's word was his 'name' but today that's not as powerful a determinant as it once was. The internet has been a place were various 'criminal's have been listed, so that pedophile lists exist and possibly society will not so much need a 'credit' rating but a history of 'bad credit' individuals.
It's not 'multi culturalism alone but multiculturalism has been faulted for being 'cultureless' since there are by nature cultures that are higher and those that are lower. Cultures aren't all equal. Neither are people. It's where the rubber hits the road that the differences arise.
I'm struggling with this because people who are generous are considered merely 'marks' by drug addicts and gang members as parasites and hosts have no difficulty sucking the life out of them before moving onto their next victim.
I enjoyed the television series Jericho because it addressed these same ideas at a higher level than the almost equally enjoyable Sons of Anarchy television series which addressed issues of ethics and morality in gangs as opposed to whole self sufficient communities. Gangs as I've already said have the cultural life of parasites or virus despite having inherrently attractive features like the historic 'noble savage' or the baby faces of members.
Homophobia and Heterophobia
Homophobia is a psychiatric defense that has taken on political significance. Phobias are cathected fears of objects, fears that might well have a 'neutral' response were it not usually from some early trauma.
Homophobia is extremely common in those who were sexually abused as children by the same sex. This is a product of trauma. Just as I have a patient who was bit by a dog when she was in a refugee camp today she is afraid of my dog who has to his chagrin been called a 'purse dog' by those who don't know he rides a Harley. As a small child a big mangy wild dog attacked her. Her fear of that dog generalized to fear of all dogs even little wee dogs. A person who I treat was in a plane crash and had a phobia about flying in planes until with standard psychiatric treatment she was restored to being able to fly in planes. Phobias are quite common.
Given the extent of sexual abuse in our society, expecially same sex sexual abuse, it's not surprising that Homophobia exists. There are of course other psychiatric mechanisms for homophobia but this is the most common in my clinical experience and probably most 'natural'.
In addition, political 'homophobia' is a different matter.
Personally, if I, as a hetero sexual. am standing with two men looking at three women and the two men beside me become enamoured with each other I will celebrate their behaviour as it serves me specifically in that it leaves three women for me. Personally, as a heterosexual, I might well object to lesbianism but not homosexuality. If I ignore the women and focus my attention on the homosexual men I may well be showing to those in the know that really I'm more interested in homosexuality. "The lady protesteth too much" in this regard. Such 'homophobia' is quite 'unnatural'. Equally as a homosexual if I am "heterophobic" I might well be the one who 'protesteth too much".
Historically all manner of sexuality was tolerated in society in general. Homosexuality was main stream in many communities. It's also developmentally normal with a developmental stage where children prefer the company of their same sex before adventuring across the great chasm of dangerous opposite sex behaviour. Given the importance of children and their importance in hunter gatherer, agricultural and war economies bisexuality was more commonly tolerated than homosexuality. Indeed in early Irish society homosexuality was enshrined in the warriors on the war path but frowned on in the communities at peace. Often as in jails and distant mining communities and ranches and pirate ships it was considered acceptable to use men as a 'default' but to 'prefer' men over women when women were available was 'deviant'. We are only now getting a handle on the commonality of lesbianism given it's toleraance so long as women had children.
One Mexican "machismo" police chief I met insisted he was hypersexual and had sex with men and women because he was so "manly'.Pink Swatika by Scott Lively was a fascinating book discussing homosexuality in the Nazi movement which pointed to similiar hyersexuality views in the SS. A colleague talked of being enamoured with a homosexual pedophile who he served with in the British army. In war times there has been much tolerance of deviant behaviour which in peace time is given a second look.
The "8 is too late" , Man Boy Love society used to march in the Vancouver Gay Parade proudly carrying their banner . They were 'tolerated' as late as the 80's because there was then a sense of 'war' between homosexuals and heterosexuals as evidenced in 'queer' politics of the communist Radical Fairy, Harry Hay. With community tolerance in general there has been less tolerance in specific.
Pedophiles who were once as illegal as homosexuals, are now no longer accepted in the 'gay community' as a whole. Similarly suffragette women were once not accepted in 'polite society' and men who didn't 'follow sports' weren't accepted in some private clubs.
Recently, religious homo phobia in general has been tied to the importance of the 'family' and 'family' especially where the number of children is equated with the greater success of the family. With the education of women however, children have become less the old age pension of the woman. Education of women is equated with fewer chldren. The upper classes once great producers of children now tend to fewer children indeed.
Further with industrialization and decline in labour intensive work, there is a natural decline in the need for more children so the central taboo against homosexuality, that is it's potential to decrease children, is lost.
Parents wanting grand children have naturally been homophobic regarding their children especially coming out of the agricultural Darwinian era where 'survival of the fittest' causes me a 'survivor' to want to pass on my 'survivalist' genes to my children as I would want to breed a good race horse.
Evangelical Christianity and Catholicism especially equated homosexuality with the lustful and deceitful marginal and often illegal communities which tolerated homosexuality. Hence the naturalness of "homosexuality" among the 'pirates' and acceptance of homosexuality in some early artist communes. Promiscuity was discouraged in the heterosexual community because of it's damage to the community. Homosexuality was associated with more promiscuity though not necessarily among older lesbians. Catholocism even celebrated the sexually abstinent until the recent seminal teaching of Pope John Paul. Many religions especially nihilistic religions of the east and west reject the 'sensual' world in favour of the interior world experienced not by sense but by intuition.
The infamous homosexual spy Guy Burgess was associated with his sexuality whereas the homosexual Allan Turing whose mathematics and cryptoanalysis essentially saved the English in WWII as much as the Battle of Britain is neatly overlooked in regards to his sexuality.
The tendency for 'cherry picking' in these matters is best discussed in the classic treatise Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
Homophobia probably as a term should be limitted to clinical situations. Politically I may well be against vegetarians who are as all know them a sneaky and suspicious group of folks as bad as the bike riders of Vancouver who are destroying the inner city with their evil and blasphemous bike lanes. Clearly I could call these groups 'carniphobes' , "luddites' and "enginephobes" But name calling is evidence of a 'weak argument' as the fallacies teach 'ad hominem' (against the man) is such.
Jesus specifically did not speak about homosexuality and I personally have found that while he spoke a great deal about a lot of matters his emphasis on sexuality was less than modest. That the church today is caught up in the debate about sex has cynically been said by some as an attempt for just those churches losing membership to attract people to them through tried and true sexy marketting approaches. The Catholics have used gambling with their bingo halls as a means of maintaining membership. Some evangelical Christians have used their crusade for 'missionary' position sex in pyjamas as their justification for 'bearing false witness' and not honoring their parents or 'loving their neighbour as themselves". Homophobia in this regard is as 'sexy' as homosexuality used to be.
Homosexual long term monogamous relationships are perhaps sadly as 'unsexy' as heterosexual long term monogamous relationships. There really isn't much 'homophobia' about them in society and even growing up I noticed a serious tolerance for such couples in my community at a time when it was ostensibly 'illegal'.
I do find it sad though that today there is a growing 'heterophobia'. So commonly where there is 'revolution' it just means that an out group becomes an in group and does to the outsiders just what they objected being done to them. Rather than 'progress' ,there's just tribal feuds and war based on 'revenge' rather than the advances made with love..
Homophobia is extremely common in those who were sexually abused as children by the same sex. This is a product of trauma. Just as I have a patient who was bit by a dog when she was in a refugee camp today she is afraid of my dog who has to his chagrin been called a 'purse dog' by those who don't know he rides a Harley. As a small child a big mangy wild dog attacked her. Her fear of that dog generalized to fear of all dogs even little wee dogs. A person who I treat was in a plane crash and had a phobia about flying in planes until with standard psychiatric treatment she was restored to being able to fly in planes. Phobias are quite common.
Given the extent of sexual abuse in our society, expecially same sex sexual abuse, it's not surprising that Homophobia exists. There are of course other psychiatric mechanisms for homophobia but this is the most common in my clinical experience and probably most 'natural'.
In addition, political 'homophobia' is a different matter.
Personally, if I, as a hetero sexual. am standing with two men looking at three women and the two men beside me become enamoured with each other I will celebrate their behaviour as it serves me specifically in that it leaves three women for me. Personally, as a heterosexual, I might well object to lesbianism but not homosexuality. If I ignore the women and focus my attention on the homosexual men I may well be showing to those in the know that really I'm more interested in homosexuality. "The lady protesteth too much" in this regard. Such 'homophobia' is quite 'unnatural'. Equally as a homosexual if I am "heterophobic" I might well be the one who 'protesteth too much".
Historically all manner of sexuality was tolerated in society in general. Homosexuality was main stream in many communities. It's also developmentally normal with a developmental stage where children prefer the company of their same sex before adventuring across the great chasm of dangerous opposite sex behaviour. Given the importance of children and their importance in hunter gatherer, agricultural and war economies bisexuality was more commonly tolerated than homosexuality. Indeed in early Irish society homosexuality was enshrined in the warriors on the war path but frowned on in the communities at peace. Often as in jails and distant mining communities and ranches and pirate ships it was considered acceptable to use men as a 'default' but to 'prefer' men over women when women were available was 'deviant'. We are only now getting a handle on the commonality of lesbianism given it's toleraance so long as women had children.
One Mexican "machismo" police chief I met insisted he was hypersexual and had sex with men and women because he was so "manly'.Pink Swatika by Scott Lively was a fascinating book discussing homosexuality in the Nazi movement which pointed to similiar hyersexuality views in the SS. A colleague talked of being enamoured with a homosexual pedophile who he served with in the British army. In war times there has been much tolerance of deviant behaviour which in peace time is given a second look.
The "8 is too late" , Man Boy Love society used to march in the Vancouver Gay Parade proudly carrying their banner . They were 'tolerated' as late as the 80's because there was then a sense of 'war' between homosexuals and heterosexuals as evidenced in 'queer' politics of the communist Radical Fairy, Harry Hay. With community tolerance in general there has been less tolerance in specific.
Pedophiles who were once as illegal as homosexuals, are now no longer accepted in the 'gay community' as a whole. Similarly suffragette women were once not accepted in 'polite society' and men who didn't 'follow sports' weren't accepted in some private clubs.
Recently, religious homo phobia in general has been tied to the importance of the 'family' and 'family' especially where the number of children is equated with the greater success of the family. With the education of women however, children have become less the old age pension of the woman. Education of women is equated with fewer chldren. The upper classes once great producers of children now tend to fewer children indeed.
Further with industrialization and decline in labour intensive work, there is a natural decline in the need for more children so the central taboo against homosexuality, that is it's potential to decrease children, is lost.
Parents wanting grand children have naturally been homophobic regarding their children especially coming out of the agricultural Darwinian era where 'survival of the fittest' causes me a 'survivor' to want to pass on my 'survivalist' genes to my children as I would want to breed a good race horse.
Evangelical Christianity and Catholicism especially equated homosexuality with the lustful and deceitful marginal and often illegal communities which tolerated homosexuality. Hence the naturalness of "homosexuality" among the 'pirates' and acceptance of homosexuality in some early artist communes. Promiscuity was discouraged in the heterosexual community because of it's damage to the community. Homosexuality was associated with more promiscuity though not necessarily among older lesbians. Catholocism even celebrated the sexually abstinent until the recent seminal teaching of Pope John Paul. Many religions especially nihilistic religions of the east and west reject the 'sensual' world in favour of the interior world experienced not by sense but by intuition.
The infamous homosexual spy Guy Burgess was associated with his sexuality whereas the homosexual Allan Turing whose mathematics and cryptoanalysis essentially saved the English in WWII as much as the Battle of Britain is neatly overlooked in regards to his sexuality.
The tendency for 'cherry picking' in these matters is best discussed in the classic treatise Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
Homophobia probably as a term should be limitted to clinical situations. Politically I may well be against vegetarians who are as all know them a sneaky and suspicious group of folks as bad as the bike riders of Vancouver who are destroying the inner city with their evil and blasphemous bike lanes. Clearly I could call these groups 'carniphobes' , "luddites' and "enginephobes" But name calling is evidence of a 'weak argument' as the fallacies teach 'ad hominem' (against the man) is such.
Jesus specifically did not speak about homosexuality and I personally have found that while he spoke a great deal about a lot of matters his emphasis on sexuality was less than modest. That the church today is caught up in the debate about sex has cynically been said by some as an attempt for just those churches losing membership to attract people to them through tried and true sexy marketting approaches. The Catholics have used gambling with their bingo halls as a means of maintaining membership. Some evangelical Christians have used their crusade for 'missionary' position sex in pyjamas as their justification for 'bearing false witness' and not honoring their parents or 'loving their neighbour as themselves". Homophobia in this regard is as 'sexy' as homosexuality used to be.
Homosexual long term monogamous relationships are perhaps sadly as 'unsexy' as heterosexual long term monogamous relationships. There really isn't much 'homophobia' about them in society and even growing up I noticed a serious tolerance for such couples in my community at a time when it was ostensibly 'illegal'.
I do find it sad though that today there is a growing 'heterophobia'. So commonly where there is 'revolution' it just means that an out group becomes an in group and does to the outsiders just what they objected being done to them. Rather than 'progress' ,there's just tribal feuds and war based on 'revenge' rather than the advances made with love..
Miracles
I believe in miracles. I believe that events in history have occurred which were apparently 'supernatural' which we now know by the study of science to be 'merely' 'extraordinary'. In this understanding the 'eclipse of the sun' by the moon is explained today by science as the moon crossing before the sun whereas in the past it was understood as the sun being taken away and returned. I also believe that man's ego is such that he tends to project his present into the past and believe that the events of yesteryear were as he understands them today. I consider this 'retrospective falsification'.
Understanding this I still believe in Miracles as in 'God events'.
I have a theory about the events of the "Big Bang" but I don't 'know' the Big Bang as I know my own fingers. However as a scientist today I know the limitation of my own 'belief' in my knowledge of my fingers. I know the quantum physics explanation of the existence of my fingers and the vast limits of my understanding and perception of even my own fingers let alone matters of distant past. Neuropsychiatry has at once humbled and expanded my understanding of perception.
I believe that there are supernatural forces that we today do not understand so would call their 'effect' miraculous. I believe in a whole list of such forces as telepathy and levitation. I believe that as all is now and the external material world is a bubble on the vast ocean of the spiritual world which itself is a mystery at the surface regarding the centre and depth I can know only in a limitted sense because that is the nature of this incarnation and the nature of this 'world'.
As theology teaches 'many houses' science teaches many 'dimensions'. There are multiple parallel universes. My perception may 'switch' from one universe to another. Would I know this. Subjectively I have a sense of points in history where I came to 'cross roads' of 'potential' and perhaps experienced the 'road less travelled" . I have a sense of these 'nodal' points in time when a confluence of events gives rise to a course which leads me in a certain direction but which might well lead alternatives of self, a multiplicity of perception, in another direction. I am left with what I wake to each day. I can not in good faith knowing what I do of the potential of this world or of God that more is not possible. I, for all I know, am the 'rate limitting' step. I believe an infinitude of events is happening in God's time and God's 'spiritual' domain but that I 'see but through a glass darkly' in my life. If it was God's will for me to fly in this world I'd fly with or without wings. Now God wants me to walk or my own fear limits me to walking as Peter could not walk on water as long as Jesus did because of his lack of 'faith'. Peter did walk on water though whereas the other disciples didn't. I pray to fly and might in time be in a world or dimension where I can fly. Alternatively I might 'miraculously' buy a ticket on a child guided Canadian made spaceship with a propulsion system conceived and designed by women alone.
I believe that our 'faith' is made stronger in this world as our beliefs are increased from the chaotic childhood fantasy world to the 'reality' of the 'collective' to the miraculous potential of the future. Cellphones would have been considered miraculous once.
I believe that there are other planets inhabitted by human like forms and other aliens and other interdimensional beings. I imagine that if one can imagine something it exists in some form somewhere. Unicorns and fairies and trolls all may exist but that I am not to be distracted in my spiritual journey by the fanciful and 'magical' but am to be devoted to the goal of coming closer to God , the true light, the word that was with Jesus as John tells us.
I believe that Jesus, the son of God, has given us the clearest vision of human potential on earth, which is in the 'love' he shared and the 'sacrifice' he made. I think that whether a person uses a spear or a nuclear device to kill they are still primitives whereas Jesus was God like in his command to love your enemy. That said I might well kill my enemy because I'm a 'sinner' but I wouldn't promote "killing' as the 'Way". I believe that there have been many prophets and saints and that where their teachings meet there is the greatest likelihood of navigational truth.
Albert Schweitzer realized that all was alive and that killing couldn't be avoided and as a doctor I am unable to be 'silly' about death and my complicity but must realize that it matters where my heart is too. The scriptures tell me that I will need to see like a child again but this 'child like' innoscence is not the ignorance of children but rather the 'wisdom' that comes with experience.
I believe I have experienced miracles and witnessed miracles in my life but my tendency is to 'normalize' and 'deny' these. Truthfully though I have no other better explanation despite my experience and training. I consider all life is a miracle and sacred and that there are these events that are 'more' miraculous and more sacred. They speak to the glory of God.
I do not need to 'deny' a 'virgin birth' out of 'arrogance' but can 'believe' it. It's not really been much of an issue for me and may well be 'made up' by theologians but then everything can be seen through 'cynical' eyes. The critic can destroy all. If a person today claimed to be pregnant and a virgin I'd be most interested in looking at the DNA as I'd expect 'god stuff' perhaps. Again what happened in the yesterday' has a different relevance to me 'today'. I have no 'disbelief' that the seas opened for the fleeing Moses tribe but I also know stories 'exaggerate' with time and commonly in the past people said a thousand people were killed in a war when only a dozen were. That's at least the case in the Scottish tribal fights that I studied. But that's History and history by convention is just an approximation of the truth for the collective imagination. I wasn't there in this incarnation in the past as the story is told. I don't know with certainty if there once was an age of Atlantis and we have devolved or if we are evolving moving from the Old Jerusalem to a New Jerusualem. I really don't know. It's all a matter of belief. I am suspicious of those who 'insist' that I 'believe' what they believe as if they 'need' my belief to be the same as theirs as this is what fanatics, insane people and some political leaders have been like. I may well be wrong and they are right but I shy from 'bullying' .
Events have occurred in my life especially those times when I thought I was near to death and felt a presence of God and somehow there was a reversal of events and I lived. The same has occurred in the process of healing. There has also been an association between prayer and the miraculous.
I can easily 'argue' as a 'critic' and am highly trained to 'debate' the opposite, that is a purely 'material' world without 'miracles'. I am glad for that training. It's the same training that Saint Paul had and then he was blinded and regained his sight and came to believe in miracles in a personal way.
I consider this a personal journey. I share my perception of that journey and I surely will be highly skeptical about anyone who claims to be able to levitate but I will not exclude the possibility. I'd gladly levitate alongside him. But the fact is I'm too much a 'doubting Thomas'.
I am a scientist and a theologian. To me scientific theologian or theological scientist is not an oxymoron. Such was the case for most of the greatest scientists of all time as it was for Einstein and Newton. There are a few scientists and theologians today, who I tend to believe are simply 'lazy', and won't take the trouble to play three dimensional chess in a multi dimensional universe so insist that we all believe their reductionist perspective because it's self aggrandising in some way.
I remain open minded but don't believe in having such an open mind that my brains fall out. I also don't want to be so close minded that I have only a brain unmindful of the miraculousness of mind which connects us with others and with God.
Understanding this I still believe in Miracles as in 'God events'.
I have a theory about the events of the "Big Bang" but I don't 'know' the Big Bang as I know my own fingers. However as a scientist today I know the limitation of my own 'belief' in my knowledge of my fingers. I know the quantum physics explanation of the existence of my fingers and the vast limits of my understanding and perception of even my own fingers let alone matters of distant past. Neuropsychiatry has at once humbled and expanded my understanding of perception.
I believe that there are supernatural forces that we today do not understand so would call their 'effect' miraculous. I believe in a whole list of such forces as telepathy and levitation. I believe that as all is now and the external material world is a bubble on the vast ocean of the spiritual world which itself is a mystery at the surface regarding the centre and depth I can know only in a limitted sense because that is the nature of this incarnation and the nature of this 'world'.
As theology teaches 'many houses' science teaches many 'dimensions'. There are multiple parallel universes. My perception may 'switch' from one universe to another. Would I know this. Subjectively I have a sense of points in history where I came to 'cross roads' of 'potential' and perhaps experienced the 'road less travelled" . I have a sense of these 'nodal' points in time when a confluence of events gives rise to a course which leads me in a certain direction but which might well lead alternatives of self, a multiplicity of perception, in another direction. I am left with what I wake to each day. I can not in good faith knowing what I do of the potential of this world or of God that more is not possible. I, for all I know, am the 'rate limitting' step. I believe an infinitude of events is happening in God's time and God's 'spiritual' domain but that I 'see but through a glass darkly' in my life. If it was God's will for me to fly in this world I'd fly with or without wings. Now God wants me to walk or my own fear limits me to walking as Peter could not walk on water as long as Jesus did because of his lack of 'faith'. Peter did walk on water though whereas the other disciples didn't. I pray to fly and might in time be in a world or dimension where I can fly. Alternatively I might 'miraculously' buy a ticket on a child guided Canadian made spaceship with a propulsion system conceived and designed by women alone.
I believe that our 'faith' is made stronger in this world as our beliefs are increased from the chaotic childhood fantasy world to the 'reality' of the 'collective' to the miraculous potential of the future. Cellphones would have been considered miraculous once.
I believe that there are other planets inhabitted by human like forms and other aliens and other interdimensional beings. I imagine that if one can imagine something it exists in some form somewhere. Unicorns and fairies and trolls all may exist but that I am not to be distracted in my spiritual journey by the fanciful and 'magical' but am to be devoted to the goal of coming closer to God , the true light, the word that was with Jesus as John tells us.
I believe that Jesus, the son of God, has given us the clearest vision of human potential on earth, which is in the 'love' he shared and the 'sacrifice' he made. I think that whether a person uses a spear or a nuclear device to kill they are still primitives whereas Jesus was God like in his command to love your enemy. That said I might well kill my enemy because I'm a 'sinner' but I wouldn't promote "killing' as the 'Way". I believe that there have been many prophets and saints and that where their teachings meet there is the greatest likelihood of navigational truth.
Albert Schweitzer realized that all was alive and that killing couldn't be avoided and as a doctor I am unable to be 'silly' about death and my complicity but must realize that it matters where my heart is too. The scriptures tell me that I will need to see like a child again but this 'child like' innoscence is not the ignorance of children but rather the 'wisdom' that comes with experience.
I believe I have experienced miracles and witnessed miracles in my life but my tendency is to 'normalize' and 'deny' these. Truthfully though I have no other better explanation despite my experience and training. I consider all life is a miracle and sacred and that there are these events that are 'more' miraculous and more sacred. They speak to the glory of God.
I do not need to 'deny' a 'virgin birth' out of 'arrogance' but can 'believe' it. It's not really been much of an issue for me and may well be 'made up' by theologians but then everything can be seen through 'cynical' eyes. The critic can destroy all. If a person today claimed to be pregnant and a virgin I'd be most interested in looking at the DNA as I'd expect 'god stuff' perhaps. Again what happened in the yesterday' has a different relevance to me 'today'. I have no 'disbelief' that the seas opened for the fleeing Moses tribe but I also know stories 'exaggerate' with time and commonly in the past people said a thousand people were killed in a war when only a dozen were. That's at least the case in the Scottish tribal fights that I studied. But that's History and history by convention is just an approximation of the truth for the collective imagination. I wasn't there in this incarnation in the past as the story is told. I don't know with certainty if there once was an age of Atlantis and we have devolved or if we are evolving moving from the Old Jerusalem to a New Jerusualem. I really don't know. It's all a matter of belief. I am suspicious of those who 'insist' that I 'believe' what they believe as if they 'need' my belief to be the same as theirs as this is what fanatics, insane people and some political leaders have been like. I may well be wrong and they are right but I shy from 'bullying' .
Events have occurred in my life especially those times when I thought I was near to death and felt a presence of God and somehow there was a reversal of events and I lived. The same has occurred in the process of healing. There has also been an association between prayer and the miraculous.
I can easily 'argue' as a 'critic' and am highly trained to 'debate' the opposite, that is a purely 'material' world without 'miracles'. I am glad for that training. It's the same training that Saint Paul had and then he was blinded and regained his sight and came to believe in miracles in a personal way.
I consider this a personal journey. I share my perception of that journey and I surely will be highly skeptical about anyone who claims to be able to levitate but I will not exclude the possibility. I'd gladly levitate alongside him. But the fact is I'm too much a 'doubting Thomas'.
I am a scientist and a theologian. To me scientific theologian or theological scientist is not an oxymoron. Such was the case for most of the greatest scientists of all time as it was for Einstein and Newton. There are a few scientists and theologians today, who I tend to believe are simply 'lazy', and won't take the trouble to play three dimensional chess in a multi dimensional universe so insist that we all believe their reductionist perspective because it's self aggrandising in some way.
I remain open minded but don't believe in having such an open mind that my brains fall out. I also don't want to be so close minded that I have only a brain unmindful of the miraculousness of mind which connects us with others and with God.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
William Lashner
I've just finished "Falls the Shadow" by William Lashner. It's a brilliant mix of the finest of the classics of the detective genre brought into modern day parlance. A kind of Hitchcock remake by Steven Spielberg. A horrid French chef in prison for murdering his wife has an old lover now wealthy from marital gold digging hire Derringer and Carl legal team to get him a retrial. Derringer is a beautiful big hearted woman lawyer paired with the gumshoe skeptic Carl. Through twists and turns of who dunnit and amazing characterization we follow the story of the tragedy all the while the parallel pro bono case of child rescue entertwines with the main characters in the murder mystery thriller. William Lashner (www.williamlashner.com) was himself a trial attorney in the criminal division of the United States Justice Department. We never do learn where he got his very mixed feelings about dentists but it must indeed be a truly piercing story. A gripping read. I can only look forward to reading more by this Philadelphian New York Times best seller.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
I pray I to forgive
Lord, I pray to forgive all those who have physically hurt me, beat me, slapped me, punched me, kicked me, and spit on me, I pray especially Lord to forgive those who did this through their own deep seated fear and anger and used me in their sordid dramas of life to feel superior and in control of their sorrowfully chaotic lives.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have said mean, unkind , hurtful words to me. I especially pray to forgive those who used me for the outlet to their own demonic associations.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who lied to me and made false promises especially those who did so knowingly thinking they were clever and smart in their deceit and degradation..
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have borrowed money and property from me and never returned it despite false promises especially those who never intended to or should know their own history of repeated abuses of others in this regard and cease such depravity.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who drunken or stoned on alcohol or drugs were out of touch with reality and perceived the world through the degenerate vision of their chemically induced brain damage so that they harmed me as collateral damage of their self centered hedonistic cowardly lives.
Lord I pray to forgive all those whose disease and sickness have made them unaware their own conceit, arrogance, bullying and stupidity.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who somewhat knowing of their problems with social toilet training refuse to acknowledge and seek help for the soiling and stink they make in my world.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have hurt me and those I love, in their pursuit of power and abuse of power for power's sake out of their own existential angst and hysteria about their own imminent demise.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have hurt or tried to hurt my family and closest friends and my pets and property. .
Lord, I pray to forgive all those who have brought false testimony against me.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have knowingly used false testimony against me for their own nefarious politics.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have gossipped and lied about me and tried to dishonour and disparage my good reputation, my good name and my good word especially those who are see their mission in life to be critics and always 'chop the heads off others in an attempt to make themselves look taller".
Lord I pray to forge all those who have delved in evil, dissipated themselves and sought to bring this world and espeically my world into the hell of their own ignorant imagining.
Lord I pray to forgive myself for my lack of faith and all those times I have acted without consideration of you and your goodness.
Help me to love more and fear less.
Thy will be done.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have said mean, unkind , hurtful words to me. I especially pray to forgive those who used me for the outlet to their own demonic associations.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who lied to me and made false promises especially those who did so knowingly thinking they were clever and smart in their deceit and degradation..
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have borrowed money and property from me and never returned it despite false promises especially those who never intended to or should know their own history of repeated abuses of others in this regard and cease such depravity.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who drunken or stoned on alcohol or drugs were out of touch with reality and perceived the world through the degenerate vision of their chemically induced brain damage so that they harmed me as collateral damage of their self centered hedonistic cowardly lives.
Lord I pray to forgive all those whose disease and sickness have made them unaware their own conceit, arrogance, bullying and stupidity.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who somewhat knowing of their problems with social toilet training refuse to acknowledge and seek help for the soiling and stink they make in my world.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have hurt me and those I love, in their pursuit of power and abuse of power for power's sake out of their own existential angst and hysteria about their own imminent demise.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have hurt or tried to hurt my family and closest friends and my pets and property. .
Lord, I pray to forgive all those who have brought false testimony against me.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have knowingly used false testimony against me for their own nefarious politics.
Lord I pray to forgive all those who have gossipped and lied about me and tried to dishonour and disparage my good reputation, my good name and my good word especially those who are see their mission in life to be critics and always 'chop the heads off others in an attempt to make themselves look taller".
Lord I pray to forge all those who have delved in evil, dissipated themselves and sought to bring this world and espeically my world into the hell of their own ignorant imagining.
Lord I pray to forgive myself for my lack of faith and all those times I have acted without consideration of you and your goodness.
Help me to love more and fear less.
Thy will be done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
