God's Plan

A central belief of Christianity is that God exists, that God is in relationship with us, individually and collectively, and further that God has a plan.  A plan is a concept that is difficult to sink one's teeth into given the qualities of God that include omniscience and omnipotence.  God is in time and out of time.  Time is a creation of God.  It is not as Einstein portrayed a fixed reality as in E=MC2.  Neutrino research shows even this equation may be limitted by the conception of the mind of man.  This reality is further but a minor reality in the potential of God's reality.  The obvious proof of this humbling reality is the child's microscope and the pond scum.  We naturally may be such to a greater reality or may be in parallel. Given the infinite nature of God all is possible.
So why is plan a problem.  God, being omniscience and omnipotent, knows all, present and future.  The potential possibilities for my life, if I include the reality of miracles, possible even in the physics of string theory, then those possibilities are infinite, limitted only by my imagination.  Today could be a day of spaceships and blossoming cathedrals, house shaped butterflies and infinite love in the universe.  All's possible with God.
So God's plan is something that is.  My life is but a thread and series of points in this tapestry of colour and sound and sense.  I am a part of a greater experience. My role is light in the darkness, I hope. But as all is God, the canvas, the darkness and the light, only I am necessarily moving towards the light as one moving away from pain.  There are those that would say embrace the pain and darkness and don't fear death as there is no 'real' death in the eternal God.  Eastern religions believe in reincarnation. Early Christianity shared this theme.  Waste and lack of respect for the present made discouraged suicide in the west yet left it as acceptable in the east, from a strictly intellectual basis.
God's plan is said to be the return of Jesus, messiah, healer, son and love incarnate.  Theoretically I should or could allign my life with God's plan by following as well as I could the Bible which is the world of God.  A Hindu similiarly might follow the Bhagadvagita. A Moslem, the Koran.  Each, religiously would be acknowledging a reality greater than their own mere conception and seeking knowledge of God's plan through the writing and teaching of those who devoted themselves to this or had inspiration and insight they believed was from God personally.
I'm praying for the knowledge of God's plan for me personally.  I want to know what God would want me to do even today as God is the potter and I am the clay as the song goes.  I am by the best of my intellectual reckoning a second thought.  The prime mover,God, is not limitted by the nano seconds even of Ideation.  God's plan is instantaneous.
My friend Tom and I were talking about character defects some years back. He told me that he figured that he had some black marbles in a jar of otherwise fine white marbles. He'd been trying to get the black marbles out, first by trying to shake them to the mouth of the jar, and then by spilling the jar on the table, trying not to lose white marbles that way, and picking out the black marbles.  Then one day he figured that since God was all he could pray to God to turn the black marbles white and save the wear and tear on the jar.  He's been doing that since and last I heard was flying at the speed of a volkswagon bus in a plane somewhere over Alberta.  Tom's kind of Jonathan Livingstone Seagull sort.
I personally am reading the Bible and Millard Erikson's Christian Theology along with Emmett Fox's insights on Biblical wisdom. Today, being Sunday,  I'll go to church and join others in the celebration of their experience of God, search for God, desire for God in their lives, the experience of God in community and hear if the priest has anything to say about God's plan, especially God's plan for me.

Ballet BC - Elton John

Tonight's ballet was a one in a million.  Emilene Molnar, artistic director of Ballet BC, welcomed Alberta Ballet to Vancouver. "Love Lies Bleeding"choreography and libretto by Jean Claude Maitre , featuring music of Sir Elton John and Bernie Taupin was a resounding success. Costume Design by Martine Bertrand was way over the top, just the way Elton would have liked it. Set design by Guaillame Lord was equally spectacular.  With all the glitz, verve and downright sexy show biz, the incredible form and style of the impressive dancers still shone through. "Rocket Man" was my favourite but then I've loved always loved the song. The  choreography and starlit dance  added a whole new dimension to my appreciation of the genius of Elton John and Taupin.  I'm sure the pas de dieux of two men was the most elegant I've seen in modern ballet.  I was almost in tears at the performance of "Someone saved my life tonight" It's a show not to miss. Packed audience tonight but another night to go with a few seats left.

http://www.balletbc.com/loveliesbleeding.html

Canadian Authors Association - Vancouver Branch - Oct. 12, 2011

www.robertwmackay.ca/
www.bennuttall-smith.ca/

It's October 12, 2011. The Vancouver Branch of the Canadian Authors Association is meeting tonight at 7 pm in the Alliance for the Arts building on Howe Street beside Waves Coffeehouse. I got an email from Ben Nuttall Smith saying that he and Bob Mackay were talking on publishing.

I'm a blogger. Who needs a publisher. Ha! I don't even use an editor.  Ha! Ha! And no deadlines either. Ha! Ha! Ha!

I don't get fan mail like a Published Author.  Only comments. I have to respond to comments or the comment might overshadow the piece I've written.  Commenters are often more pithy than bloggers.  They're the blogger world's equivalent of the critic. But I even get to censor the critics in blogger world.  Published Authors don't have that luxury!

Bob and Ben, however,  since they published their books last year have had women chasing them.  Bloggers don't get swarmed, like Published Authors. You'd think it was the Vancouver Sun Run the way the Published Author Groupies charge, whenever Ben and Bob make a public appearance.

Bloggers don't have to do those public appearance things, either.   It's highly unlikely that Harper, Obama or Oprah are going to phone up this blogger. In contrast Ben and Bob live at daily risk of having CBC call them and ask them to talk about their books.
Published authors.  I'd not be surprised to see those letters after their names.  Bob Mackay, PA.  Ben Nuttall-Smith, PA.

As a blogger I don't have to re write. I don't even have to 'proof' my material.  It's a bit like going to the opera in one's underwear, mind you.

Ben and Bob's writing is so much more presentable and polished.   A bit posh really.  Complete sentences. Actual story lines.  Meaning.  Big words and catchy sly bits.
Apparently people liked their story telling even  before they  got published.

As a blogger I could go from an audience of none to the whole internet of billions, not that anyone needs to take notice of a blogger.  Blogging is democratic and subtle that way. Not in your face like a real hard book you could hold in your hand. Not even something that would get on Kindle.

Bob and Ben's books, Soldier of the Horse and Blood Feathers and Holy Men, respectively,   actually have beautiful covers and jackets.
 I might be able to spiff up my blog a bit but it's never going to adorn a coffee table, unless it were a virtual coffeetable.  Everyone has been gifting their friends with Bob's book or Ben's book but I don't even know if I can give my blog away.

Google doesn't pay at all like a real publishing house does,either.   My on line income from blogging has a certain elusive quality like the media itself.  Money always did have that here today, gone tomorrow aspect to it for me. But Google's not actually given me any real money.  Keeps telling me I have to score 100 before they'll give me the 20's they owe me. A bit like Los Vegas.

I was kind of hoping to hear from Ben and Bob about all the real money Published Authors make.  It's a paper business. Those publishing houses should be able to print their own money.

Now that Bob's a real Published Author and Ben is too, I expect they'll be telling us about their yachts and lear jets. Maybe I'll go tonight and hear what it's like to "get your money for nothing and your chicks for free'. I keep thinking there must be life after blogging.  A Published Author's life, perhaps.

PS
I went.  Jean Kay, Perry Wilson, Anthony Dalton, Bernice Lever and all the other "usual suspects" were there. The room was packed.
Jan Furst had died just short of 100 so stories were already being exchanged about this delightfully remarkable Norwegian Bowen Island character, much loved in the author community.

Patrick Taylor, author of the Irish Country Doctor series, read from his latest in that series, A Dublin Student Doctor, set in 1930 and just out for publication this week. http://patricktaylor.ca/ 
It was a glorious night.  Ben and Bob both humbly shared that if they could get published so could we.  All it took was a good idea, a draft, a manuscript, editting, rewriting, an outside editor, perhaps, a good query letter, maybe an agent if he wasn't a complete dodo, a willingness to self promote, and a powerful publicity machine helped. Then a publisher would likely consider your work if that publisher  actually published romantic goth fiction. In Canada no author ever admits to sleeping with the editors of Pen and Porcupine but it's been considered.
Blogging was recommended as was a web site. The Surrey Writer's festival was coming in 2 weeks and it was also recommended. As was the CAA December social and AGM as well as a 500 word Letter to Santa contest.

Dear Santa, I want to be a Published Author but I'd also like a Lear Jet even if my publisher can't afford one. My character isn't developed as much as the characters of the Published Authors I heard tonight so you might want to add that to the list. A plot would help too.  I'm still not sure you can get from here to there.  The CAA is truly inspirational and it's evident that Authors Helping Authors works.  But Santa I could really use a bit of extra help from you.  Has Rudolf got out of celebrity rehab yet?  Bill  

Honeymoon Cystitis

Cystitis refers to urinary track infection.  Honeymoon cystitis referred to the common phenomena in the past of girls developing cystitis after their honeymoon.  The female uretha is short, merely a few centimeters.  Most urinary tract infection occurs because bacteria which are normal for the outside skin get in to the usually sterile urine which is a particularly attractive soup for bacteria growth. The most common cause is E. Coli.  Sexual intercourse because of the action tended to pump bacteria on the outside into the bladder.  If a girl didn't pee before sleep the bacteria had all night to grow.  Hence the 'honeymood cystitis', there being excessive sexual activity at this time.
Antibiotics are the treatment of choice and work well for treating cystitis. The symptons of cystitis is burning urination with a desire to go more frequently. If back pain is noted in combination there is concern that the infection may have traveled from the bladder up the ureters to the kidneys. Kidney infection is called pylonephritis and is a more dangerous condition and the reason for treatment of bladder infections.
Preventions for bladder infection in women is remembering to urinate after sexual activity.  Further it's important to ensure that fecal content (poo or shit) from around the anal cavity isn't tracked into the urethra. To this end women and girls especially those who have acquired a urinary tract infection wipe from front to back and not back to front.
Cranberry juice is still a good prevention though there are controversies around why.
Urinary tract infections can be treated with a one to three day dose of trimethoprim/sulfmethoxazole (160/180) or a ciprofloxacin 250 twice a day for three days. Nitrofurantoin 100 twice  a day was an old standby that is again being used because of bacteria being drug resistant to the newer drugs.
The treatment for 'acute cystitis' is relatively straightforward and commonly done by family physicians.  Recurrent and chronic urinary tract infections because of their risk for pylonephritis are usually referred to gynecologists or urologists for more definitive investigation and treatment.
Men shouldn't get urinary tract infections even if their urethra's aren't as long as they may claim.  Urinary tract infection in men is different and should be treated as such.

Methadone "Carries"

When people begin on the methadone maintenance program to stop opiate drug use, especially IV heroin addiction, they are required to get their methadone daily. It also must be witnessed daily by the pharmacist dispensing the methadone.  This is called DWI, or daily witnessed ingenstion.
"Carries" refer to the "Carry Policy" of the Methadone Maintenance Program. A carry is a dose of methadone that is mixed in Tang and dispensed at the drug store but the patient is allowed to take it home rather than ingest it there.
As with the whole methadone program, it is a privilege and carries are a 'priviledge' which reflects that a person is doing well with the program.
The criteria for initating carries require that the doctor decide that 'carries' are both safe for the patient and safe for society.  A person must be clinically stable, well established on a methadone dose which eliminated craving and also withdrawal symptons.  The patient must also demonstrate social, cognitive and emotional stability.  Egs which doctors use for this include, appointment schedule maintenance, reports of improved social relationships, better mental status examination, no illegal behaviour.  Most importantly a person must have urine drug screens which are free of all mood altering substances for a minimum of 12 weeks.
In addition they must have the ability to store methadone safelty.  The methadone must be stored in a safe and secure place where it will not be stolen and is not a danger to others especially children.  This requires that a person be in safe, supportive housing.
Reasons for giving carries are school, work, caring for young children, travel etc.
It is further recommended that carries not exceed 4 days or 400 mg whichever is less.
If a person has had methadone carries and relapsed the carry privilege must be reassessed.  They must then return to daily witness ingestion and demonstrate that they are 'stable' again. This includes at least 4 weeks of urines which are clean for mood altering drugs.
Further urine testing is being done not only to ensure no drug abuse but to confirm methadone in the urine indicating that it isn't being diverted.

Projection and Projective Identification

Projection is a psychological defence or coping strategy. We all use it to varying degrees. The truly mentally ill use it more often than not.  In the case of projection I attribute my inner world to the external world or interpersonally, you.  In the classic example a paranoid is afraid of nazis so attributes anti semetic intent to everyone.  A woman afraid of rape accuses you of wanting to rape her.  A republican afraid of democrats accuses you of being a democrat when you question his or her authority.  An overly sexualized pervert accuses you of sexually wanting them when you're really not at all interested.
In all these cases there is 'false accusation'.  It's also commonly coupled with a generalization that is made specific.  Philosophically illogically, "all men are rapists, You are a man. Therefore you are a rapist."
As for projective identification, there was a meeting of psychoanalysts once, asked to give a meaning and the multitude of meanings was so diverse that rarely thereafter was the term formally used.  My own take on it was that if you acted afraid of me I might act differently in a way to increase your fear, identifying with the projection.  The idea is that you somehow get caught up in the the stronger projections. This is especially seen in 'folie et dieu'.  In folie a diew, the more insane person convinces the weaker person of their projections and the two live in a shared paranoid reality.  In one home visit I made to the proverbial old ladies with cats, they were eating the cat food with the cat food because human food was poisoned. They were also spying on their neighbours because they were anti semetics, perverts and communists. They'd never met any of their neighbours but the severely disturbed one had intuited this from the way they carried their groceries in and out of the house.  As a result they had to keep their blinds drawn and couldn't go out in the day because the neighbours were spying on them.
Hospitalized together on the psych ward they remained certifiably insane. However once we separated them the lesser disturbed one came to her senses and told the story of the increasing insaniety and her getting caught up in it.  Despite medications the other lady never did return to normal. She remained high suspicious and quick to incorporate some innocent activity you might do into her 'scheme' of things.  She never acknowledged her neighbours were innocent. It's very hard for many people  to admit they were wrong, something ironically is true of both the most ignorant and the most insane.  Admittedly I never did poll the neighbours to see if they were individually anti semetic, perverts or communists.  Perhaps they were all spies and personally out to get this one little old lady whose life without her delusions was rather barren and deeply sad.The other lady returned to normal life in the community and remembered these years much as a bad dream.
Projection is part of the 'group hysteria' that results in places like the Jones town massacres.  On a smaller scale it's seen in petty jealousies, body insecurities, and issues of self esteem.  "They don't like me because I'm not loud like they are," incorporates projection in a particularly twisted and sublte way.
As infants our mothers are part of us and we don't know where we begin and leave off.  Slowly but surely over time we appreciate how we are individual and interconnected.  Drugs cause a break down and regression to infancy with loss of separation of self and others.  Smoking pot or crack one or heroin one can believe all those smoking together are like a 'family' or 'friends' when in fact the group together only has in common the addiction.  As the brain is altered by the substance it is open to all manner of insaniety with projection and projective identification being common.
Patients who have had traumatic pasts often project under stress.  A woman sexually abused as a child might suddenly hit a man on a date claiming he tried to rape her when he was just helping her on with her coat. An ex military man may believe for a second a waiter is the enemy when he comes up behind him and startles him bringing the menu.
When the Nazi wanted to kill Freud and friends helped him escape to England he said, "Maybe the paranoids were right".  It's only paranoia if they aren't out to get you.  The joke also goes, 'what's the opposite of paranoia? Thinking you're following someone."  Projection is part of our mental make up and certainly a significant part of our community and a major part of regressive politics.  It's a useful term and worthwhile to be aware of.  Good friends are often helpful to tell a person when their past is being played out in their present and they're making their future a replay of their past just to prove they were right.  It's been said that the mind is a dangerous place and not somewhere to go alone. Certainly it can be such some nights.

More Clinton Pictures

These are just some more pictures I took while travelling the back country around Clinton.  It really is horse and cattle country.  I talked to a beautiful lady cashiering at the Irly store. She daid, "We came here a few years ago.  We love the outdoors. Hunting, fishing, snowmobiling. There's so much to do." The local newspaper Laura and I read at the Cordial Restaurant came out monthly. Not a place where too much happens quickly.  Certainly a bit of God's wonderland, though.