Chilly Morning

I woke at 3 and 5 to fix the heater fuse,  The vibration or something causes it to become lose so the furnace doesn’t work. It did this last year. I thought it was fixed, I went back to sleep well each time remembering all the nights on call I’d missed sleep and the off shore sailing night after night on watch.

I dreamed I was at my hunting lodge in the valley by the rapids or on the ridge with my truck. In the lodge men were talking of moose they’d shot and I was telling them about the 7 grouse I had in the freezer saying grouse was gold but even I wasn’t believing it. Yet I’d so enjoyed the grouse curry I made last week  I think some dreams have the residue of the day.  Others come from a deeper level. In the next I ‘m in a sports jacket and tie,  a young man talking to a room of older wealthy power family men speaking to my mind on behalf of those who ‘don’t fit’.  I was saying that the ‘choices’ were limited and exclusive.   The rewards of tokenism we’re going to only a select few,  I became impassioned and lost my voice responding to the stupidity of power,  I’d clearly moved some but lost others and felt like I’d often felt advocating for others though in a way I myself was included.  

Like the funny walks of John Cleese,  Some were definitely included but others not so,  

We are taught look for the similarities and not the differences, It was clearly a speech about haves and have nots. In the end I was still welcome though perhaps less so as I’d not moved the most entrenched authority.  That may be the military industrial complex’s. I might have been arguing for the inclusion of an accordion or Banjo in the marine band.  In the dream it was clear I appreciated the bag pipes.  But Trudeau is outlawing a whole new group of guns and gun owners in Canada are planning to paint their hunting rifles pink.  He’s such a tyrant, nazi communist traitor and the cost of heat is probably what triggers such.  the cost of living,  And yet I’m doing okay

My life is good,  I’ve had an adventure though feel passed over.  I feel I’ve spent years advocating for others concerns and now facing old age feel alone and vulnerable It’s all illusion though and I am trained to focus on the positive ,

The dream was a looking into my past, my Canadian upbringing, my values and generosity and willingness to help and courage,  The Cause that Jesus died for, was ours, not his really, He could have walked away.   I always thought I’d go north but now older I’m much more sensitive to the cold and wearied by the struggle of the wilderness. Like the Gods in Dick Slaterly Holistic Detective agency I can see the merit in a retirement community.  I appreciate Howard Hughes living in a hotel. 

I’m my camper I have all I need.  I remember dad with his canoe and motor and van fishing all summer.  I imagine I could do that. But I’m loonging to look at more art, I ‘m looking forward to Hansel’s Messiah,  

I may yet end up a monk,  I imagine I’d still like an air ship,  The way to get around the congestion of the city.  Personal drones and helicopters,  Air traffic control would be a concern,  I do like motion and the air is all that remains unexplored individually. I’ve certainly been a passenger in planes for years at a time, Fly in doctor services,  

I could use another coffee,  Christmas is near and I’m focused on the cold today.  The warmth is inside, We say we’ll love you till you can love yourself We call spirituality growing love inside. The solution is within,  I know this. It’s the practice that’s hard,

Thank you God for this day