Another Random Day

Madigan was lying beside me wanting to share my breakfast yogurt and granola bar. Now that I’ve begun to type, he’s left to get a stick to chew on.  I found this morning. He’d chewed another sheet. I have caught him in the act and stopped him. I’ve scolded him. I do just thinks it’s a nervous behaviour. It seems to occur when I leave him alone at home. I may get a lock for the bedroom.  Yet all his other ‘bad’ behaviours have come and gone.  He outgrows them. This is rare too.  It was a month since last time and I wondered if some food was spilt on the sheet.  

The problems of caring for the young.  Every month improvement.  He did nuzzle the nurses crotch last week.  She pushed him away kindly.  We laughed. She’s had dogs.

I’m grateful for this day. I had interesting dreams. I’m on an adventure wandering about groups of people looking for something or someone like one would in a flea market. No pressure . No stress. Just interest and curiosity.  

This morning when I walked Madigan the moon was still out waning but a haze in front of it. Still dark outside but not as cool and not raining.,  I enjoy breathing.  I can’t get enough of it.

I was thankful that Mary Lou texted me ‘see you tomorrow’ reminding me I’ve a drive to the city.  It sure helps keeping track of where I’m supposed to be. I have a calendar but don’t look at it unless there’s a problem or planning.

I included Archangel Michael, St. Thomas, St. Patrick, St. Francis and St. George in my prayers today.  Holy names are uplifting. I ask for help in my work , to know God’s will and to have the power to carry it out. I pray for compassion and protection. 

I’m concerned about finances watching my very hard hard earned savings dwindle with inflation.  I’m to meet with the bank. I’m considering trading in my truck anf with a smaller truck I can drive in the city maybe even selling my car.  I find it hard to know what to do.  Covid . Lockdowns.  Chinese war mongering.  Yesterday their nuclear planes flew over Alaska and Japan in a joint exercise with Russia.  Nuclear bomb threat again and buffoons like Biden and Trudeau in power.  It’s easy to be distracted and fear full. Floods and slides isolating the lower mainland just like my recurrent dreams of mudslides beginning decades ago. But I’m not in them so my life is blessed.  There really is no chaos today. I maintain myself worried about being overweight trying to exercise and walk and swim. I go to work. It’s a routine.  Nothing is really outside my knowledge or experience but I still have the rare psychopath anf they attempt to extort or threaten by saying they’ll complain.  Only last week a girl tried to get special attention with lies and threats so I refused to see her again .  I used to cure such girls of the manipulation and tendency to violence. They have too many allies in government. It’s likely a product of frugs and now so many beuroracrats are stoned .  I remember my Dad having to know which suppliers and workers were alcoholic.  ‘When they’re sober they’re good but you can’t depend on them.’  The same with the dope smokers . They can’t handle the stress.  I saw that in off shore storms. When I was smoking dope it was terror but when I was clean and sober much worse and more dangerous conditions were just dealt with.  

I say thank you Jesus a lot. If only for the joke Willie told me about ‘pass the butter’ and the family saying everyday things like that with the intonations of the televangelists.  Thank you Jesus is more a quiet remark and a reminder that the Creator is in charge.  I don’t want to mess it up.  I want to go with the Flow, be in the Now, let go and let gof. Thy will be done not my will. I don’t want to make it complicated. I want that attitude of gratitude. I don’t want to be a nosey Parker or critical Karen.  I really want to look to the good or look to God and resist catastrophising.  All day long I’m reassuring people whose vocal tones and emotions are nails ona chalk board.  At the end of the day I’m exhausted. It’s from lending ego and from gently disagreeing with people who want to kill themselves or extort something with threats of violence. I’m on edge all the time and in the evening I’m mentally and emotionally worn.  

Even now I’m waiting for a variety of tests long delayed to be done on patients who are more desperate with the waits,  

The sun is coming out. The overcast sky is listening. We’ve had some beautiful colours with dawn. The rains haven’t returned .  Rescuer and repairs continue It’s only a few miles away that people are without heat or dealing with flooded basements and cars.  It’s like when I was in Jerusalem and I saw the smoke on the other side of the city.  The television was showing the war zone and I was safe and warm and people were having coffee in the streets around me.  Whole towns are flooded but I’m in an island of safety hearing of the difficulties. Our church wanting clothes for migrant workers who had to flea there accomofdations with only the clothes on their backs. My other church friend feeding hundreds of displaced farmers in their church.  Here I am blessed with heat, water, refridgerator and clean clothes.  Thank you Jesus.  

Tine to go to work and hope to be of service. 

Thank you God for all your blessings. Thanks for your love and care of family and friends especially those recovering from physical health troubles. I’m at that age where so many people I know have had heart surgery or are recovered from strokes or have chronic illnesses they need to take medications for. Meanwhile my only complaint is that I have to be careful with my back twisting and lifting.  Small potatoes compared to so many others I know.  I’m in wonder at my age and quite surprised at those around me I know who are suffering so much more, their genetic package not as robust perhaps or more wear and tear. It brings one closer to one’s own mortality.  Thinking about life and death more.  Looking forward to the coming birthday. A milestone.  Each one these days has a special glow. Like milestones on Everest given all those I’ve known who have not been so blessed to come this far.  

Thank you Jesus Jesus Christ. God with in , God will come again,  Where is heaven. Within.  I am the bubble make me the sea.  The Hound of Heaven and hide and seek with God. I love seeing mothers play peek a boo with their infants.  Madigan now tearing up the yogurt container doesn’t believe I’ll return when I leave him still.  I am making a point to leave him for bits of time though I don’t know I can continue to buy new covers.  This too will pass. He’s such a good boy.  His patience grows each week.

Thank you God.