Another day

Politics is scared. We just learned that General Milley conspired with the CIA, NSA, Homeland Security and the Communist Chinese Military to overthrow, though ‘underthrow’ would be a better term the President of the the US. Claiming a threat of a ‘right wing coup’ the left wing, with Nancy Pelosi and the California crime syndicates and other democrats literally ran a left wing coup. 

Communist Chinese destroyers are testing the defences off the Alaska coast.

Continued incursions by the Communist Chinese Military into the Taiwan airspace.

All dissent is destroyed in Hong Kong. Tibet continues to be invaded and taken over for Chinese housing.  

Communist Chinese invasion of India remains stopped by Indian troops but the Communist Chinese have not returned to the lines of demarcation before their attack.

More strains of the Wuhan flu lab virus permeate the world. The Latest is the Mu variety.  I have both Pfizer vaccines but a report today says that the Chinese corporations are heavily invested in Pfizer. I don’t know what to believe. I did get my BC Vaccine Passport.

I’ve a weekend of study and recouping. Laura is coming over and will take care of Madigan while I attend the all day conference Anna Borowska is presenting on insomnia.  

I’ve a men’s meeting tonight.

I’ve plans to go hunting again before we go for Allan and Meaghan’s wedding. I’m anxious about the conditions of the roads and the truck since a boulder or pothole caused such damage to the rear of the Camper.  It’s functional and we’ll be able to use it in October for our planned hunt and rest but I’ll have to get body work done in November. 

I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, typical for September. More demands. Urgent cases. More paper work demands. More expectations. More consults.  Limited time. I don’t seem to speed up anymore. I don’t miss lunch’s and dinners and work all night to serve the taxation machine. I am trying to stay healthy so I begin to rush and stop myself. I eat lunch .I make coffee.  I walk the dog.  I imagine all manner of people have done this all their lives. It’s odd behaviour for a clinician. I did this when I was on salary in the hospital and had 9-5 jobs.  Canada a country of unions and Beurocrats but I’ve had my private practice for decades with limited breaks from the pressure. All entrepreneurs feel it but live next door to others who may coast given their work and pensions and what’s so difficult is these neighbours have no idea what it’s like for us. The nurses at the hospital actually thought we had the day off after a night on call.  My ex wife called me ‘lucky’ and was disdainful of my success never seeing the truth of ‘genius is 99% perspiration and 1 % inspiration’.  I succeeded where others and failed and found the cure and success because I worked harder and longer.  It’s what I’ve seen in the many above me too.  There’s the Hollywood idea of ‘being found’ but it’s not so easy.

I’m wanting to coast and slow down and take it easy. I’m old enough .  I like cross dressing as ‘play clothing’.  My suits and shirts and even my hunting and sailing and fishing gear are all ‘work’ clothes. I liked 4 inch heels decades ago because ‘you’re not supposed to be walking in them. If you’re walking in them you’re doing something wrong.’  I envy women wearing white.  I am always getting oil grease or some kind of dirt on my clothing. I can’t wear gossamer or silk without having to fix the electrical box or manage the engine in some way.

This last weekend was a fisasco with the camper, electrical failures and dealing with hitches and trucks and ATV’s. I wanted to dress in a skirt anonymous and walk through the louvre looking at paintings. I have been countless times as a doctor called upon to attend emergencies getting blood and dirty and human waste on me while I knelt beside someone who collapse. I imagine all the women dressed in white sometime learned to protect their nails and their clothing.  

I miss working in an office as a secretary.

I miss the acting days and dancing.

I’m at retirement age but continue to work as a doctor and enjoy virtual and being of service and the work. But my ‘life’ remains ‘heavy’. Sailing was always so much ‘work’ and ‘anxiety’. Off shore was glorious but the effort to get their and ship maintenance and all that was involved in staying aware was incredible. I like the attention. I like the activity but the fact is my back hurts and I don’t want to be physically lifting and contorting in spaces with wrenches or learning more about replacing toilets and dealing with flat tires or engine failures. I don’t want to be doing surgery even. I want to write and read and watch. I want to travel.  I’m looking forward to that.

But I ‘d like venison. Madigan and I so enjoyed the grouse we shot.  It was a delicacy beyond compare. I enjoyed so much the preparation and cooking.  It was delicious.

I like photography too.  I did enjoy target shooting. 

My mood is better but I’m uncertain about the world. The election is near and I fear the machine that would keep Communist Dictator Trudeau in power.  

Oh well, work beckons.

God is good all of the time.

Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner.

Protect us Lord from all evil. Thank you for Grace and Love and Joy.