Good Mood, Blue Sky

I used to hand out a series of circles labelled as follows:

1. Weather

2. Government

3. Community

4. Work

4. Recreation

6.  Friends

7.  Extended family

8.  Spouse

9.  Children

10.  Self

I taught people that healthy people asking themselves how they feel began at the outside and moved in, whereas unhealthy people began at the inside of the circle and moved out.

eg.  I’m a terrible person and my children are terrible and my spouse is terrible.

Meanwhile I tend to think it’s a rainy day so I’ll probably feel badly. My government sucks.  There’s too much construction in my neighbourhood and not enough parks.  

The solution for the first person is to kill themselves.  The solution for the next person is to know they’ll probably feel better when the weather changes. Sailing made me really appreciate weather and how it comes and goes. I learned to adjust my sails to the weather.  

We have a tendency to go back to thinking that if I feel bad today and I once felt bad because my spouse was sleeping with the government administrator I’m probably feeling badly today because she’s probably sleeping around.

Cognitive behavioural therapy teaches that my feelings are mostly a problem of my thinking.  So if I expand my search I might find I’m feeling badly because my boss promoted my coworker and that my wife is older and the government administrator is probably sleeping with the next guys wife.