Christmas snuc up on me. I was working then suddenly Laura was here. I made steak then I made ham .I cooked poached eggs and had bacon sandwiches. I then had left over ham sandwiches. Highlights were ordering food on line and driving to Save On Foods for pick up. The really special event was FaceTime call with family. I liked seeing all the bearded nephews and hearing that my Aran sweater gifts fit the girls. Adell modelled hers and it looked great. Glad to have Alan and Meagan home from Britain before another lock down. I’ve enjoyed Graeme’s Ember skies production. I enjoy having Laura here. I don’t feel as invested in a sex change. It’s a kind of adventure idea like Black Like Me. I’m working. I’ve travelled . I’d thought to sail the Atlantic but Covid and aging make the whole ocean crossing world travel thing seem daunting. I really just want to be on a beach in the tropics now. I so enjoyed camping with Gilbert and the Vespa this summer on the lake.
Now it’s all about Madigan. Walks and cuddles and cleaning up his poop and pee pads. Looking forward to each accomplishment and his growth. He’s bigger. He can jump up on the couch and climb up and down stairs.
I’m reading beach reads. A couple of westerns and now an espionage thriller. I think I should be writing a book or completing a project but that’s the bug bear. I don’t have any capacity to do or see more than a day or two into the future. I can’t focus or plan. My life revolves around the new addition to the family. I love him. Home entertainment at its finist.
My nephew and his wife are having this experience on steroids with Finn. My God child Willie is giving Anna and Kevin and the three meerkat siblings this pleasure too. Willie just turned one and another is on the way. I miss having children. It’s left me grieving. The main disappointment in my life. God had other plans. I delivered babies, treated thousands of children and families. I’ve served.
All over the floor there are dog toys. Dog chews and torn paper. Below my knees is his world. When I sit to meditate the squirmy is all over me.
Life is good. Covid is crazy. I feel inadequate in my work. It’s global. There’s nothing local about the cause of so much sorrow and suffering. Unconventional war by Communist China and the UN elites. I don’t know what’s happening. Trudeau is not only inept and putrid, he’s downright evil. He appears worse than the DTES. Like Nero or Herod. George III was mentally ill at the end of his reign losing America. Trudeau’s reign began badly and gets worse. Government and media seem so corrupt. Yet the world muddles on. I try to be hopeful. The Trump election concerns persist. The China Sea war and Iran aggression persist. Taxes rise as does cost of living, more lavish living by elites and more taxes for us.
I remain grateful, for God, for life, for puppy, for love, for family and friends. I pray for my patients and meditate daily. We are past the solstice and the days are getting long. Hallelujah. No need to sacrifice virgins. The Sun is coming.
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