Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Song for 2020

G
Looking for God and the Holy Spirit
C
Calling for Love in the Name of Jesus
G
Hallelujah
D
Hallelujah
C
Hallelujah
G
Praise the Lord

G
Thank you Lord for the new year coming
C
Thank you Lord for the old year going

Hallelujah.....

Thank you Lord for Dogs and Rifles
Thank you Lord for Motorcycles

Hallelujah......

Thank you Lord for mountain streams
Thank you Lord for air that’s clean

Hallelujah.....

Thank you Lord for laughing children
Thank you Lord for loving women

Hallelujah

Looking for God and the Holy Spirit
Looking for Love in the Name of Jesus
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Praise the Lord.

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Love God

I was taught to Love God. I was taught humility in my home. As a child I was taught to kneel beside my bed beside my mother praying to God. God was the parents of parents.  God was Father.  God was Creator. God was Mother. God was All.
Later I would learn the spiritual stories of God. I’d read the Scripture, the Holy Bible, the story of the Western Men and Women’s relationship to God.  I’d later read the Gita, the story of the God Krishna,  I’d read of the Yahweh and Allah and the Abrahamic God. I’d read of primitive peoples and the Golden Bough. I’d read of child sacrifice and killing the king. I ‘d read of cults of mushroom, Peyote, and drugs, then the cults of sex and tantra and all the taboos cults with their inner secrets, so often experiential and secretive. 
I’d study in depth the first 300 years of Christianity. I’d see that the Church would be like a cellular creature dividing, not only in Christianity but in Buddhism and Islam.  Quickly one movement would become 10. Always the traditional would then war with the latest ‘anti traditional’.  They’d have the fanciest names.  It was always us and them.  The war was always among men to get you to agree with me. The old paranoid tribal chant. « You’re with me or a gin me.’  We are a religion of peace, only if you become Muslim.  We have the one God. We are the True Christian Church. We’re the only ‘right’ Buddhist teaching. We are only path. We are the one. Me first.  I am the prophet of all Gods. I’m the prophet of one God.  

People are funny.

Religion is made by people out of the god stuff of Spirituality.  Spirituality is about the Holy Spirit.  The second person of the Holy Trinity of Christ. The most basic idea is that there is an unseen world. Nature spirits and superstition.  Freud’s unconscious. 
The plants will grow only if you don’t have sex on Sunday.  The fear of this food or that clothing. It was everywhere.  You knew your tribe by the fears and superstitions.   You had to cut your hair in just this way. The penis was cut in this way. The Labia that way  If you were with us you had your patch that way. If you were agin us you had your triangle pointed up or down depending on whether or not you ate the placenta or were vegetarian. 

It’s truly bizarre.
Don’t criticize my dreidel and I won’t criticize your cross.  There was the war of weapons and the war of words. All over the world the war of religions went on.  

Then finally the best religion of all was the Trojan Horse religion calling itself Aetheism. We are the ‘No God’ religion and the Communists arose with their red colour and new rituals and their Trinity of Lenin, Mao and Marx.  Kill the ‘God’ people because we’re the « No God’ people . The Philosophers fought the Theologians and the Red hats slayed the white hats and aborted all their babies. The elites kept their babies and even created child sex cults in Brussels to play  with the babies of Catholics whose babies lived only because they were not being aborted..  

No God Religion with new or words and new old rituals fought the God Religions with Old new words and Old new  rituals. Separation of Mosque and State never occured.  The State had it’s State Religion and called them Chinese Churches.  The No God religion let in the God Religion and the Religion of no Separation of Church and State spread in the Religion of Acceptance, tolerance  and love.  The religion of the head in the sand.  While the nature spirit religion joined with the no God religion and they all got angry when you called their obsession God because they now used new term Culture, the culture religion fought the fashion religion.  Then the Secularists were the Aetheists in disguise when originally the secularists were for all God religion.  Pantheism and One God. The names changed faster than hockey teams.   

Only the children got confused with the names.  Vegas was Vegas whether it was Brussels or Dubai. 
The No God religion liked to propagandize the children like the God religion did. They all used the children for food and cannon fodder and propaganda movies.

It was ridiculous. It was all just absurd!

It was so human and adolescent. The Fuck God cult versus the Fuck No God Cult.  The idols of money and power and the planet. Save the goat in the Honduras. Help the spotted owl in the Congo.  Whose going to care for the homeless. I’m the Goddess of Fashion. Dress like me. Speak French like I do.  Drive a BMW,  Vegetarianism or insect eating .  Sex dolls.
It’s all such Silliness. God is a comedian.  The No God Religion has outlawed comedy as hate speech. 
Today it’s Christmas.  A baby was born.  The birth of Christ.  God came to see and live his creation.

Jesus, a God Spy.  

Jesus thought childhood was okay despite the constant attempts by the Big Man /Big Woman to kill his parents.  His friend John was beheaded by the Big Woman. The Big Woman just got the Little man to do her will. The Big Man killed babies.  But he didn’t Kill Jesus.

Arjuna asked Krishna why go to War.  Why not. The war will go on with or without you.
Buddha said « Desire is suffering ».

Killing women and children is easier than killing men.  It’s a major embarrassment if a Big Man can’t kill a little child.  Jesus lived.  

Jesus taught love.  The Big Man/Big Woman, the No God, and many Gods, Power and Money Gods, , really , everyone , they all killed Jesus.  But not as a child.  He was lucky. Today he’d be aborted.
But he made it to being a young man before they got him.  He fooled them. For awhile. It was all God’s plan, story,script.

The oldest law of the world is the Chines law of the Fish. There are big fish and little fish and the little fish must be fast and numerous.  

Jesus was killed as a young man.  Crucified.  But then he  resurrected.  Unlike today  they couldn’t censor the tv and internet in those days so the word got out. This world of money and power and big men and women,  No God and Idols, couldn’t stop the Gospel, the Good News. The word got out.

The Gospel spread.  The Holy Bible said the Baby Jesus resurrected. There was life after death. There was Good and Evil. God’s law said don’t fuck the children.  There is a God And God’s law. It’s not seen. It’s inside. It’s all creation. It’s here and now.  

Love God.  Love your neighbour as yourself.

Today is Christmas.  It’s not No God day. It’s not Santa day. It’s not Muslim day or Pagan day or Lenin Day or Mao day or Money day or shopping day or whiskey day. It’s the Birth of Christ. It’s the Birth of the one who said Love God and Love Your Neighbour as Yourself. So the Big Man and Big Woman Killed him along with all the people who couldn’t put Humpty Together . God Creates. Good m’en and women create. Bad boys and girls destroy.  The Creator came to earth and we killed him.

 I killed him. You killed him. We killed him  There’s only Now. Time is the illusion of mind. On this  day of the Birth of Jesus there was the Crucifixion and the Death of Jesus and the Resurrection of Jesus and God.  It’s all in the seed.  The idea of Love. 

Love God and Love your Neighbour as Yourself.
Love God and Love your Neighbour as Yourself
Love God and Love your Neighbour as Yourself.

That’s what Baby Jesus is all about. It will probably get you killed. you won’t be popular.  The nations of the world, all the United Nations,all the Prime Ministers and Presidents,Politburoes ,Priests ,No God Cults,Climate Change Cults , Drug Cults, Herb Cults, Nature Spirit  cults, Culture Cults, fuck baby cults and Kings and Queens aren’t going to much like you.  They’ll fake it.  Big people aren’t known for their humility.   

Jesus Christ is Lord.
Love God and Love your Neighbour as Yourself.

Today a Baby is Born.  



Thursday, December 19, 2019

Angry at God

I was fascinated to hear a Christian say, « I don’t know I’m angry at God. ».
I said « Jesus was angry at God » 
« Jesus can’t be angry at God. »
‘What about Eli Eli Lema Sabachtani. ‘My God, My God why hast thou forsaken me?

Jesus taught « Do not be afraid »  Love and fear are opposites but anger is fear in ‘fight versus flight’ mode.  That’s the simplest division. The experience of abandonment is grief.

Jesus was angry at the money lenders. But when Jesus was on the cross, if he was suffering, he was ‘doing God’s will’.  Being obedient to God’s will doesn’t mean I’m ‘happy happy happy’. Jonah was angry.  Grief and suffering go hand in hand.

The ‘stages of grief described by Elizabeth Kuala Ross include ‘anger’.  Anger is a natural state.  Things can cause me to be angry but if I hold onto my anger then I can become resentful. The Bible is clear that we shouldn’t hold onto anger but it doesn’t deny anger is human. Holding onto anger or nurturing anger will turn one bitter.

 Jesus was ‘son of man’.  HE was all human. And all God. If he was just a God then he really wouldn’t have ‘suffered.  To be human is to have the full experience of humanity.  The whole issue of the nature of Jesus resulted in the Athanasian Creed and the Hypostatic Union of Jesus, perfectly divine and perfectly human, not a chimera and not a duality, but one.  One person of the trinity.

So I imagine if I’m a man of human nature on the cross doing the will of God but dying slowly in the most horrid pain, I’d feel ‘anger at God’ knowing that God’s perfect love but at that moment of sever pain feeling abandoned . I may know God will not reject me but I am human. Jesus was human even if there are those who would reduce him to an idol.

Today ‘Why have you forsaken me, “while it might remind us of an earlier psalm, might well be said in the vernacular of today, ‘fuck you God.  Indeed there is a movement by this name and a major controversy. People leave the church and no one question if they are angry. People are afraid of anger in themselves and others. 

In psychiatry, in ‘somatic depression’ or the ‘somatic sympton disorder,’ we think of pain as clothed in grelief and fear and anger. Abraham saw depression as ‘anger turned inward’.  Pain is by extension anger turned inward. Somatization and conversion disorder are pain or other physical symptom like fatigue as well, understood to be a mental disorder, not denying the ‘pain’ any more than one would deny the excruciating pain of ‘phantom limb pain’ but recognizing the materialistic error is in the brain, or the biopsycosocial error is in the ‘mind’.  It’s not simply  a ‘brain’ disease perse but a ‘mind disease’as well.

Anxiety is said to be the measure of one’s distance from God as well as a measure of one’s humanity.

It helps one see ‘suicidal thinking’ as ‘anger turned inward””’  more clearly and understand the ‘seriousiuslness of ‘emotional pain’.  Emotional pain can be deadly.

In ‘communication psychiatry’. Everything is sen as ‘communication’. Cancer is seen as ‘that which can be said in on other way ».

The idea therapeutically in psychosomatic medicine is to look for a new and different approach when conventional therapy fails.  If the door handle turned doesn’t open the door , turn the door handle in the other direction.  

Phillips wrote the sweet little classic, « your God is too small ».  

The God of Love is big enough to take all your anger and all your pain.  God doesn’t reject man.  The devil was said to have turned his back on God because he’d rather watch his shadow than look into God’s light.  

Aliénation and isolation are précurseurs for suicide .  Dehumanization and the feeling of being unloved, alone and rejected.  It’s fundamental to survivalhaving purpose as Man’s Search for Meaning showed.  We die most from ‘neglect’

Jesus was foul  mouthed and ill mannered with friends in low and high places. Inhis day and associated with the improper. Today the contemporary ‘cross’ might well be an ‘electrocution chair’, a ‘guillotine’ or a ‘noose.’ We have a Fondness for the symbolism of the museum Christianity and ‘cobweb Christianity’ as seen in the sentiment some view the ‘cross .’ But it can cause us to overlook the ideas of Jesus today.  Christ’s value is not as a ‘myth’ or ‘teaching story’ alone but as a ‘relationship today’.  If I get angry and my friend leaves me , Do I really have a friend in Jesus.  

All adolescents in their relationships with their parents go through this phase.  Today most Christians are unprepared for this adolescent phase of their spiritual relationship which is no surprise when the church seems unwilling to engage at the point of  ‘anger’, especially anger at God.  Rejection of God.  
Ultimately this is tied to suicide and addiction and pain. 

If it’s not the Cross then what is Glad Gethsemane. And why would Kierkegaard say Life is suffering unto death if was he not referring to pain and the burden of life, expulsion from Eden and loss of innoscence.

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Anti authoritarian, bitchy and whining

I’m feeling guilty because I don’t like my immature negative anti authoritarian self. I’m bitchy and whiny. I am filled with self pity. I get angry. I’m judgemental. I have these character flaws and they spill over mostly in terrible generalizations against government and law courts and burocracy. Meanwhile I know that the vast majority of people are mostly good. I know that if the government, judges and bureaurcrats were poor and powerless I’d not malign them. It’s envy and immaturity that drives this terrible tendency within me.
Yes I’ve been hurt. Yes I’ve been falsely accused and abused and individuals in authority have been corrupt and ignorant and frankly the worst wankers, evil individuals.  But that in no way justifies my tendency to lump them together and do no better in return.  
My aunt said, « if you don’t have anything good to say about a person it’s best to be silent. ‘ When she died we all commented at the funeral on my saintly Aunt’s not having maligned anyone that we knew. She was a Christian and believed judgement was the lord. She was also one of the most gentle sophisticated well mannered people I knew.
I won’t be remembered as such.
I do apologize for all those generalizations and ill considered remarks. I’m especially mean to bureaucrats and administration in health care which is totally unfair as the majority, really, the majority I’ve known have been great. So because a very few have been the genetic errors doesn’t justify my disparagement of the group.  Just because you believe in Climate Change or belong to the Liberal Party of Canada doesn’t mean you need supervised visits with children. 
 There are some people I would say shouldn’t be left alone with farm animals but that is unfair to say this of whole groups of people.  I once belonged to the Liberal Party of Canada and indeed spoke highly of Pierre Trudeau when I was so young and stupid politically that I didn’t appreciate the wisdom of my parents who had great disdain for the communist who was intent on ruining the Canada they loved. I have Liberal friends and they really are great people. Admittedly I prefer the company of the convention stereotypically stigmatized in general but it’s unfair to suggest people who belong to a political party shouldn’t be allowed to drive trucks.
There is a need for tolerance.  Just because a person is pedophile doesn’t mean he can’t drive a truck. He just needs to be kept away from children.  
I am sorry that I am so ascerbic and think that I am witty when I am just being ignorant and mean spirited. Dressing negativity up in clean clothes doesn’t make it less dirty.  I criticize PC as the ‘false belief you can pick up a tourd by the clean end’ but then I go off doing the same thing in the opposite direction.
I’m sorry. It’s not enough to say one is sorry. It requires change in action.  I admit wrong but I don’t know how successful I will be in changing my own intolerance and malicious wit.  The first step is admission of fault.  Now I’m attempt to move forward.  
I believe spirituality is perception.  I need to build my friends up more than tear down my enemies.  CJOB had a morning radio show my parents listened to in the home each morning when I was growing up. It was called ‘Beefs and Bouguets. ». I need to focus more on the bouquet.  Everyone can be bitter and critical.  We need more people to be positive.
I have to look for the positive. I have to focus on an Attitude of Gratitude. 
I know I give myself this this little talk every few months and say ‘some are sicker than others’. I view those who appear ‘evil’ as sick but still I’m not as kind to the sick as I could be and should be.  
I had a great walk with Gilbert today. I just finished reading Katherine’s Diary, a fascinating Australian auto biography of an early famousTransgendered person, a College Librarian who’d served in the Navy and HD 3 children and 24 years of fairly positive marriage before transitioning. 
 I roasted Ethiopian Coffee, had some cups. Had a whole lot planned to do and believe there are things that ‘need’ to be done. I’d intended to go out and do some visits and there was shopping to do but instead I lay on the couch reading, walked Gilbert and read. Exercised and meditated. Journaled and read. .  I love days when I read and drink coffee and literally escape into one of my favourite past times.
I worked last week. My cough has all but subsided. I’ve continued to take care of business, catching up and doing the next right thing.. It’s been a stress getting back into the swing of things after being away. I’m prepared for Christmas. 
I loved being out with the Doc Side crew. Loved Dr. Horvath taking us all out for dinner at the Moxie. I loved talking to Robert. I loved seeing David. It was great to see Jerry, Judith and Mary Lou and meet agin our newest addition. ? Jazz. Dr. Horvath is a mensch.  
I loved today not driving. I loved not facing traffic. I had thought all afternoon about taking out my motorcycle but I enjoyed the warm and the coffee, my own washroom, my own little monks cell. Gilbert Enjoyed  having me toss the ball for him.  I shaved and showered and even intended to go swimming. I have errands and tasks to do but it all got set aside as I enjoyed the day alone and in comfort so grateful for this reprieve.  Thank you. 
I prayed and meditated considering the nature of this universe, the names of God, my place in. As Bernie would say « Holy Pirit Come ».













Morning December

I don’t know why I woke up at 3 30 am.  It’s a favourite time for wakening.  Usually, when I do, I pee and go back to sleep.  Last night I didn’t. My dreams were fond, my brother and I by the lake.  Hiking.  Often I dream of people who have passed. The other world seeming closer. Other times I dream of the special peninsula where there’s a kind of spiritual gathering.  I’m thankful for the positive dreams, the messages from beside or from insider. The dream , the royal road to the the unconscious or the overlap with a parallel universe in the multiverse.
I tried to go back to sleep and just kept wakening. This happens but rarely. I looked at FB and then read the western I was reading. Then I downloaded a spiritual text and got distracted by the division in the church described so headed over to Safari to look for a discussion of this division. All spiritual and secular organizations have their divisions and these are more interesting now.  It’s amazing how anything stays together given ego and divisiveness. Herding people like herding cats.  So much for sheep.
I’m waiting a bit to die. Wondering what to do when I grow up.  Have a lifetime to reflect on , have ambivalent thoughts about how I’ve used my time on this earth.  What I’ve taken pride in now causes me wonder.  
I see the leadership do the exact opposite of what we are given to believe. Like a soldier who gets a bravery medal from a cowardly leader, I feel I’m in a similar situation. I have to assess my own life in the light of wisdom.  My father told me, never volunteer. I volunteered. I put myself forward.  I was transparent. I sacrificed. I served.  Now I learn that ‘every man for himself’ and ‘survival of the fittest’ are the measurements today.  I look at the words and actions of people and see a tremendous incongruence.
I consider my own insecurity.  
I increasingly don’t know, go through the motion. Read the words ‘anguishing monotony’ in relation to the world. Meanwhile I was enjoying the ‘routine’ and ‘mediocre’, tired of others drama and even weary of my own. Escape. Participate.
Virtue of necessity.
i care for Gilbert, a blind dog with an injured back.  It’s reason to live. That and a plant by the sink I just watered again today.  Family, friends and all else seem fine but not enough to stop me from beaming up if I was called upon to join the Rapture or save the intergalactic universes from invasion by Vorgon Borg Communist Bureaurcrats, a kind of slug creature with endless hot air and a fascination with covering their anus while walking about ignorant of the exposure of their minute misshapen genitalia.
I’ve no reason recently to ride a white stallion with armor which would have to be very light and not cause me any more concern with gravity.  Aging is not for the youth.  
I’m grateful and thankful but feel I’m just going through the motions. I did exercises today. Ate breakfast will dress and be the ‘good boy’. Working for the bad boy.  Looking at the bad girl on the cover of Time.  It’s the rain and darkness.
I feel invigorated by the sun.  I am a different person once I suit up. I’ve shaving and showering to do and then will rise to the occasion of the day.  I don’t feel tired just a bit despondent. It’s always better as I go through the motion despite the desire to return to bed. I have no really better alternative.
I am in God’s waiting room. Thy will be done not my will.  Maybe the second cup of coffee will be inspiring. There’s a certain lack of inspiration, a lack of variety, an ennui.  I feel disconnected. I have this at times. The derealizations and depersonalizations.  The knowledge that escape has never worked and the Borg seem always overpowering. City Hall with all it’s men that can’t put humpty together again.
It’s glorious really. This season. Waiting on the coming of the king.  The baby Jesus.  
I’m in the dying day and light of the year. A cold full moon promised today.  I’d rather be walking naked on a beach in the south looking back at my boat anchored in harbour dreaming of mermaids and friendly aliens from distant worlds.  
Thank you Lord for the flowers and colours.  The coffee and ice creams and chocolate were a special treat. The girls were pretty. The men strong. The.dogs such a wonder and the cats so much entertainment.  It’s Christmas season.  There needs to be bonfire and lovers who leap across the fires now not waiting till the spring solstice.  I remember standing about fires in parkas outside igloos. The northern lights were beatuful ,better than tv.  Like classical music. The skies royal symphony.  Thank you Jesus. 



Sunday, December 8, 2019

St. Barnabus Anglican Church - Advent 2 - Peace

It was good to be in the home church again. Being spiritual in community. It’s a wonderful experience.  Our relationship with God is one to one but knowing God’s love we are able to love others.
This is the season of the coming of the Christ.  Jesus was born of Virgin Mary.  Some might speculate Joseph was gay or Mary had an affair with a Roman soldier.  But that’s not what the Bible says. This is a virgin birth and Mary is pious.  We are today in a very reductionist material world no longer the age of miracles. No longer even the age of Dulcinea.  We see windmills as black and white. We are in functional times.  The sacred is a reach for the western consumer mind so propagandized by aetheism. Those who don’t know that secular is multivariate and not just the one and only.  It is a lingua franc but not all language.  
The story of the Gospel is told in Aramaic, Greek and Hebrew. Studying Hebrew I’m immediately aware of what a dynamic language it is, like the Old English of Chaucer.  There’s a flow and reality is lighter and more expansive.  Today we say ‘hell eternal’ when in those agricultural days before the advent of mathematical zero, ‘hell for a long time’ would be the ‘Correct’ translation.  Time was different. The Spiritual time is Now. So today Jesus is being born with in, he’s dying on the cross and being resurrect. Today.  And yesterday. And tomorrow.  Jesus lives.  Eternity is now.  
It was fun to see Rev. Emily. She’s a welcoming inclusive soul who laughs and smiles and her eyes twinkle like an elf. She is saintly in that earthy way that’s rather Anglican at it’s core.  A religion of the people. Created out of disobedience with Rome.  A Protestant Christianity of the land. It was the Church of England but now it’s more a commonwealth. It’s Bishops get together and politic and things swing to and fro but always there is love. Christianity is the religion of Love. Jesus said, Love God and Love your neighbour as yourself. That’s it.  
So all are welcome at St. Barnabus including my dog. Deacon Bill welcomed my dog by name, “Hello Gilbert’.  Bill has his own dog and immediately said he was sorry he’d left him at home because he’d have loved to have seen Gilbert. Now that’s a welcome.  Love my dog and you’re half way home. I love St. Francis.  Besides Gilbert has been blessed by the Bishop. 
So we sang. We listened. Rev. Jeanette gave the sermon. I remembered coming to church with my family, my father, brother and my mother and her sister. My earliest memories outside the home are churches and tobogganing .  Not that they occured together. They’re just part of being Canadian.  75% of us are Christian. Excluded and persecuted by our own government,
The church is as ubiquitous as the gym.  Indeed the church is the Spiritual Gym and now we have temples, mosques and synagogues as varietie’s of Spiritual Gym.
The church a a social place. The communion ,sharing the Las supper over and over again, reminded of the words of Jesus before he did God’s will and allowed for the ignorance of the authorities, religious and political to have God crucified, then God resurrected.  It’s all very reasonable. IF you have ears..  The sacred shines through the silences.  
It was good. God is good all the time.  Christmas is a season of hope and love and peace.  The celebration of God coming to his creation as the son. All now, sacred and forever.  As I encounter each Christmas I face them more fondly though I miss my mom and dad and brother and aunts and uncles.  I look forward to seeing family.  Laura will be with hers and I will be with mine and Gilbert will be with his cousins. 
Christmas a time of coming together.  







Saturday, December 7, 2019

Psychotherapist

I recently had cause to reflect on why I no longer do much ‘insight’ psychotherapy but that mostly I’m doing ‘supportive psychotherapy”. I’m formally trained in a variety of psycho therapies whereas most people are trained in one.  Unfortunately the adage give a boy hammer and everything is a nail hold true in those cases.

“Insight psychotherapies’ were those historically called ‘psychoanalytic’ including Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian, et al. Despite the profound scientific work of Cameron proving their validity and superiority to several other modalities of psychiatric care, they are not generally publicly funded today. They are privately available and highly effective for certain patient groups.  

The psychoanalysts in the American Psychoanalytic Association used to begin their therapy by advising the patient that the cost of therapy would be $100 an hour (now $200 to $400) and that therapy would be 5 hours a week and likely last for 2-3 years.  During the first 6 months the analysand was not to change their job or their marriage without thorough discussion with the analyst.  We used to joke that this was pragmatic in that it ensured the income that allowed for analysis but in fact it protected patients from the all too often destructive outcome of therapy, where in the individual makes geographical or relational changes with minimum insight only to fall into the trap of ‘repetition compulsion’.  I argue strongly that the divorce rate in America is not only the product of hungry divorce lawyers and irresponsible self serving government courts who make the most by destruction of marriage and harm to children , but also . under trained therapists who contribute to ‘blaming’ rather than the gaining of wisdom and insight.

Insight therapies looked at the relationship of an individuals conflicts today,  in relationship to conflicts in their earlier personal life. It was thought that unconsciously the past was being re-enacted in the present unconsciously and with insight the person could make healthier future choices.  The classic example is the anti authoritarian person who has never addressed their own conflicts with their parents. This is the individual trapped unconsciously in adolescence unable to make their bed or be self supportive but certain as to how the world should be run. Alternatively it’s the man who marries his mother or the woman who marries her mother unable to move on from a ‘cathected’ relationship.  The success of psychoanalysis and it’s relevance, and the truth in the ‘Freudian slip’ is mainstream knowledge.  Once arcane the very notion of the unconscious with it’s drives is taken for granted to a large extent.  Analysis of transference and countertransference, dreams and fantasies and free association are all technically part of this therapy.

I did this for years and continued to have some patients in which I was mostly doing insight therapy until very recently.  Psychoanalytic psychotherapy was the first major variation of psychoanalysis and it involved the removal of the couch with the Analysand unable to see the analyst and because of cost reduced the frequency of visits to weekly or twice weekly.  The next major variation was the introduction of ‘short term’ therapy versus traditional ‘long term’ therapy , the latter being open ended and often carrying on for years, sometimes decades.  Short term therapy tended to be 6 months to 2 years of therapy.  This conflicted greatly with insurance plans which began arbitrarily to offer only 10 to 20 or sometimes 20 to 40 sessions arguing that therapists would let the work expand to fill the time available. Today some ‘plans’ offer 4 sessions while others offer none, while claiming to be ‘medical insurance’, like the car insurance plan that ‘excludes’ collisions. 

The conflict between public and private sector therapy, economics and science has profoundly damaged psychotherapy at the benefit of psychopharmacology which has historically been an inferior approach to the majority of psychiatric conditions except schizophrenia and classic manic depression. . Psychopharmacology has it’s strongest validity in psychotic disorders but not in the mood disorders and anxiety disorders.  It’s benefit is really apparent in acute conditions but its value dwindles with recurrent and chronic conditions.  This was a huge area of conflict in psychiatry and as psychiatrists made an unholy alliance with the pharmaceutical industry,  the psychologists moved into compete with their psychotherapy.  Often today it’s a psychologist who is a Freudian or Jungian psychoanalyst whereas originally only a psychiatrist could go onto be an analyst. 

Historically, to the chagrin of psychologists and nurses the , psychologist to the psychiatrist was considered the same as the nurse to the doctor. Now everyone was to be leader but few want responsibility or accountability and a new class of administrator wants it all, except they don’t want to every be at the frontline and never came from there either.  Their perfect knowledge and  depends on their perfect ignorance

Meanwhile money and insurance funding and patients desires and the culture and society strongly influence the psychotherapies.

The patients who were best for Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, those who gained the most were described with the acronym of YAFFI.  These individuals remain to day the most desirable psychotherapy and counselling patients.  The Y stands for Young. The young are more opened minded in general.    The A stands for Attractive.  If one was to sit for years of one’s life working with a patient one wanted to find them attractive. This counter transference factor was significant for therapy as well. The more ‘attractive’ the patient the more hopeful the therapist. F stood for Financially stable or affluent.  The second F stood for focussed.  The I stood for intelligence.

The key feature of psychoanalysis is that it was an ‘insight’ therapy not a ‘change’ therapy. The assumption was that with ‘insight’ change might follow. However, this wasn’t necessarily true.  More often the outer aspects of the analysand’s life weren’t at issue. It was the inner world. In medicine people are described as having ‘symptons’ , or subjective complaints and ‘signs’ or objective complaints.  

Freud said that Mental health was the ability to Work and Love. The WHO definition pretty much carried this forward with the addition that today we think of Mental Health in the broad sense as ‘the ability to love, work and play”.  The reason word has been ‘ability’ as more and more people feel entitled to play and reward without work or relationship.  

The original patients of analysis commonly were successful in their work, independently wealthy, often with intact loving families and perhaps some problems with play but mostly ‘dissatisfied’ with their lives. They were not happy. They often suffered greatly with what were described as ‘neurotic’ concerns.  Neurotics were described as people who were rather likeable and successful but ‘got under their own skins’ whereas ‘personality disorders’ or those with ‘characterological disorder’ commonly lacked insight and ‘got under other people’s skins’.  Developmentally the neurotics were overall considered ‘higher developmentally.’ Personality disorders were considered more primitive and prone to more ‘immature’ defences like ‘denial’. 

Anna Freud described ‘lines of development” , that described the development of a child to an adult. The simplest was the movement from narcissism to altruism.  Different defences or coping mechanisms were identified and seen in a developmental way, example ‘denial’ to ‘insight’.  The psychoanalysts identified the unconscious mechanisms and in therapy would identify these in the free association and dreams of the patient. The classic and of especially important note today because of the lack of insight and development of judges collectively, as their world is the rather flat rational world of the 19th century while the rest of us must inhabit a 20 to 21st century reality,  is ‘projection’.  The court room has always been a theatre as some might argue all the world is a stage.  

A person may say ‘you want to have sex with me’ when indeed they are the one who wants to have sex.  The courts in their self serving rationalist archaic references, they are best in the written and video world but not the real world, ignored that women ‘show sex’ and ‘men say sex’.  The demand of the male dominated courts for women to be masculine and ‘say consent’ and indeed ‘write contracts of consent’ is just one of the examples of the unscientific inhumaine and rediculously patriarchal court approach to the reality of human affairs.  

Projection and projective identification were complicated defences identified mostly in narcissist and borderline personality disorders.  They speak to the development of a mature ego with it’s ability to know where one’s self begins and leaves off.  The courts often focus on the ‘individual’ when ‘individualism’ simply istn’ a developmental attainment of some cultures where the individual identifies with the family, tribe or gang.  This results in the whole failure in court of the ‘alibi’ and yet the courts refuse to move from the 19th century rationalist world to the present day scientific world.  Indeed judges and lawyers simply aren’t required to study little more than the same material 19th century arts students did while the world today has of course advances beyond the court along with a very sophisticated society with multi ethnic presentation and even multiple presentations of gender expression. 

Obviously these are generalizations and the fact that we are at peace and the society muddles along reflects the individual and collective work of fine men and women who are judges and work with the broken nature of their profession.  

Insight psychotherapy is normally set up on a weekly basis, so that every Tuesday at 10 am the person was in therapy. Because the basis of the insight therapy was ‘free association’ and ‘dreams’ the therapy required ‘no interruptiopns’.  It was more like a ‘meditative space’ with therapists and patient engaged in a process much like hypnosis. Freud was a hypnotherapist and his techniques of therapy were based on hypnosis but with the patient in a lesser state of trance than formal induction. With the therapist sitting out of the view of the patient there was a level of partial sensory deprivation. In face to face insight therapy the therapist was completely neutral. If the patient said they wanted to kill themselves or the therapist, the insight therapist was ‘non reactive’ in even those extremes. They were in ‘observer’ mode and there to allow the patient to ‘explore their own unconscious’.  Insight therapy was ‘analytical’ and not ‘emotional’ and indeed very much the opposite in many ways of ‘supportive therapy’ or ‘relationship therapies’ of today.  The correct answer to questions regardless of the emotional state of the patient was usually, ‘how do you feel about that?’ And ‘do you recall another time in your life when you felt like that.”  

The poor therapist who ‘rescued’ the patient or gave into what is commonly described in therapy as ‘emotional extortion’ failed in training and was told that they were best suit for the ‘lesser’ ‘inferior’ form of ‘supportive or relationship therapy’.  The worst insult was such that a psychiatrist become a psychopharmacologie the who was seen as ‘giving medication’ like ‘breast milk’ to the patient and ‘infantilizing’ them.  The hardest part of parenting a child was ‘letting them’ walk and ‘letting go’.  Till this day I still remember with utter fear teaching children to drive, and am humbled by pilots and other heavy machine operators who teach others to manage this equipment. I was equally humbled when the surgeon teaching me said that I could take the scalpel and continue. That was psychoanalytic psychotherapy, not the watered down stuff of todays counselling which is equivalent to ‘massage’ versus surgery. It’s wonderful and feels good but is highly ineffective and in research showed little of the robust outcomes that traditional psychoanalytic therapies did.  

Psychoanalytic psychotherapies were major ‘change’ therapies in the selected populations with which they were found to be highly suited. With ‘insight’ a YAFFI normally changed their behaviour to accommodate the new understandings they gained in therapy.  They stopped acting ‘unconsciously’ and gained insight as to how their life was troubling because they were living a life their parents wanted or they wanted as a child but that today they did not see the merit of those actions.  In insight therapies people made major changes slowly and went onto major successes.  

Psychoanalysis was funded extensively as a ‘change therapy’ initially in the heyday of psychoanalysis, the 30’s to the 70’s.  Consequently because it was tried everywhere, It was found to be  not effective in a variety of settings. Counsellors persist in using ‘insight’ therapies in a variety of cases which were considered inappropriate for psychoanalytic or ‘insight’  approaches. Psychoanalysis and insight therapies are likened to surgery whereas counselling is likened to massage.  The power of the insight therapy is in the knowledge of the symbols the individual has developed. The success is in the detail. 

When I did psychoanalytic therapy it was common for me to a) have to teach patients ‘free association’ and resist their attempt to change this to ‘dialogue’. I had to remain aloof and this commonly took 5 to 10 sessions just to get the patient to the point of ‘free association’.  I have tapes of therapy where I’m essentially silent as a therapist for weeks or even months. I begin the therapy by ‘hello’ and end it with ‘we’ll continue next session’.  They free associated about their thoughts ,dreams and fantasies, usually beginning with the immediate week and then because of the weekly sessions picking up where they’d left off going deeper into understanding what R. D. Laing called the ‘knots’ in their past, those areas which seemed to keep cropping up to undermine one’s happiness.  In time I’d then be able to help the patient with a sentence or a word to see a more present issue in the light of experience.  ‘That sounds like how you described your first friend.”  These ‘nudges’ resulted in the patient picking up the story.

The therapist in the psychoanalytic session is mostly ‘behaviourally’ “passive’ and ‘reflective’.  The analysts by contrast to the surgeon was the least ‘active’. In Transactional Analysis the relationships were described along the spectrum of Parent, Adult, Child. In surgery the surgeon is the ‘active’ parent and the patient is the ‘unconscious’ child.  By contrast in psychoanalysis the therapist remains the ‘parent’ but the analysand is the active one doing all the ‘work’ of therapy, the ‘talking’ and ‘reflecting’.  The analysis makes ‘incisions’ as it were to assist in puncturing what have been described as ‘deep abscesses’ in the ‘unconscious’.  The ‘interpretation’ was scalpel like. The classic one of humor, being, “you want to fuck your mother’, the therapist says when the patient describes their relationship with their spouse who is indeed uncannily like the mother.  Portnoy’s Complaint is one of the best novels describing the insight process.  Much of therapy is the patient trying to win you over, engage you, seeking reassurance and all the while the classic therapist remained aloof.

Having spent years in psychoanalytic psychotherapy in training to be an psychoanalytic psychotherapist I can honestly say I don’t know if my therapist ‘liked me’ or ‘didn’t like me’.  He was as aloof as a surgeon in this regard technically.  I knew he was a compassionate man but I didn’t know if he ‘liked’ me. He might well have ‘loved’ me in the general sense but despite my own attempts to be engaging and entertaining and ‘nice’ he remained the excellent technician he was, forcing me to look at my desires rather than changing the externals of the relationships.  

By contrast ‘supportive psychotherapy’ and ‘counselling’ is a relationship in which the therapist is the ‘caring parent’. There is never any investigation of the ‘negative transference’.  Change in psychoanalytic therapy came mostly when the ‘negative transference’ was being analyzed. This is where the therapist works through the ‘idealization devaluation’ phase which is normal in adolescent development and is always a stage in ‘good insight therapy’, but avoided in ‘supportive therapy’. Most of counselling never matures to this ‘adolescent phase’.  The patient rarely ‘leaves home’ fully.  Counselor and client work busilily together addressing ‘industry’ level conflicts but never go to the dark nether reaches of the ‘adolescent’ attachment issues and ‘alienation’ and such.

Psychoanalysis did not appear to work with prison populations. It had very limited value in addicted populations. It was not particularly good either in helping people who had not matured to the ability of being independent and having work and relationships.  It required the therapist to do their own therapy formally which was costly and demanding.  Few counselors want to go to that rather ugly place where you work through your ‘caring ‘neediness’ and address the anger at the mother rather than persisting in being ‘pleasing ‘ and sucking on the tit of the patient by being a ‘liked’ mommy rather than the much tougher and more mature ‘good mother’.  The fact remains that psychoanalytic therapy was an apprenticeship like surgery and can’t be learned from books or weekend retreats.  It required a therapist to change themselves and have insight themselves and to know their ‘counter transference’ issues.  Most counselors are ‘needy’ compared to the surgeon and the psychoanalyst who is increasingly most interested in technique and outcome. The drama is far less interesting.   

Presently I’m seeing a very few people for insight psychotherapy.  The College of Physicians and Surgeons being dominated by the Consumer Health Care Model and the Communist Health Care Worker model demand that the psychiatrist be ‘popular’.  The very nature of ‘working through’ negative transference is that the patient like the adolescent goes through a process of not liking the therapist or therapy and indeed sees the problem as the ‘therapist’. Today even our culture is celebrating the angry destructive adolescent and those who say ‘okay boomer’.  The political’ leadership’ has indeed lost it’s compass and is often directionist but always hedonist. If a patients grandiosity and egotism is sufficient they will want to destroy the therapist for the sake of the world. They are not just helping themselves remain in denial but now are on a crusade. 

The administrative doctors because of their own developmental delays and grandiosity, have themselves left patient care for the aloof ivory tower of authoritarian governmental  parentalism.  They are glad to collude with the unhealthy patients and ‘police’ the psychiatrists who are a threat to them because collectively administrator are the most immature and  least ‘psychologically minded’ of doctors. Administration is safe authoritarianism. Administrative doctors today make surgeons collectively look humble. Administrative doctors  are police. 

Psychotherapy was a ‘therapeutic alliance’ and required ‘selection’ as so few patients were ‘appropriate’ for that therapy. The Communist Model of Canadian Health Care with it’s affirmative action components demands that psychiatrists not ‘choose’.  Everyone is ‘entitled’ to the same therapy’.   Patients demand ‘insight therapies’ because they like the television image of what is essentially ‘counselling’ in which the person waxes poetic and the understanding counselor listens adoringly.  It sadly reinforces negative behaviour in those who are not sufficiently development to use insight.  It’s an aberration of modern times.

My favourite patients were the addicts who had some counselling variation or aberration of ‘insight psychotherapy’ who would later always tell me they ‘loved’ the counselor all the while they were drinking more and losing their jobs and marriage.  That counselor taught me ‘I drank because my mother did’t love me. ». More reason to drink.  Serial murderers would love those ‘counsellor’s.  The counselor was doing classic Carl Rogers relationship therapy with some Mennigerian elements of Insight therapy to keep the counselling pseudo cerebral and the patient was drinking more telling their buddies that the counsellors helped them see their mother didn’t love them.  Imagine serial murderers and pedophiles. History forgotten repeats. There is an extensive history of research from the 50’s showing this but today’s counsellors get the 6 month or 4 years shake and back instant preparation and are little different than the ‘quick back’ surgeon with a few  months of training.  Better than nothing and indeed social workers more than psychologists having humility and immense frontline experience were able to rather quickly overcome the deficiencies of their academic models. 

As a hypnotist doing hypnotherapy as when I did sodium Amytal interviews and therapy I needed to be thoroughly focussed on the session. It is very demanding  and focused.  You can’t be taking  anything other than ‘process’ notes and you can’t be considering that an Insurance Company or College or Lawyer is going to be reading the ‘notes’.  Today administrative doctors don’t really care if the patient lives or dies, what matters is the chart. So today some of the worst doctors, therapists and surgeons get the greatest awards and advancement because of their immense success writing fictitious accounts of their work. Much like politicians. 

Many of the analysts and whole schools of analysis did not allow the therapist to engage with any outsider, didn’t talk with parents, didn’t talk with partners, didn’t talk with insurance agents, or lawyers or college. If the patient asked that, that request was indication that therapy was ‘ended’. The patient had as much called ‘uncle’ in the therapy which has sometimes been called the ‘struggle with the patients demons’.  In Kleinian schools of psychoanalytic and insight psychotherapy  there is an ‘administrator’ who is assigned to deal with all aspects of therapy other than the actual therapy.  Even ‘paying for therapy’ become a ‘transference’ issue.  Patients commonly would express their hostility like adolescents who refuse to make their beds, by refusing to pay for services. 

When a patient refused to pay for the services the College of Physicians and Surgeon colluded with the patient and said that the therapist was being unreasonable to expect the patient to ‘pay for the cost of photocopying’.  Administrative doctors commonly developmentally mired in adolescence defences themselves with ‘identification with the aggressor’ and ‘splitting’ as their weapons of choice, ‘lick and kick’ their own way to the ‘top’. 

The College of Physicians and Surgeons always like more and more of the judges wants to be ‘the good mother ‘ and forces the therapist and other adults in the community to be the ‘bad father’.  The patient thereby ‘punished’ the therapist with the collusion of the College.   Splitting is central to the ‘politics of today’.  Whenever I’ve been called into the College of Physicians and Surgeons , the administrative doctor and ‘brought shamefully before the ‘august’ authorities’ I have never had a psychiatrist present when commonly a 19th century rationalist administrative burnt out low brow arrogantGP and a 19th century rationalist lawyer have punished me for challenging patients to reflect or even change  psychopathic behaviour.  On a half dozen occasions patients with DUI’s and bosses and wives on ‘my side’ have ‘objected by being ‘diagnosed ‘ as ‘suffering ‘alcoholism’ or ‘addiction’.  Therapists have shot out my window and threatened my life and killed my dog for ‘making the diagnosis’. Meanwhile I’m a good therapist and the government and it’s representatives makes money as ‘drug dealers’ and ‘alcohol peddlars’.  Sociopaths and psychopaths would rather ‘kill the messengers’ , lie and say ‘fuck you’ rather than reflect on their characterological defects.   The final straw was when I refused a wheel chair to a ‘malingerer’ who didn’t ‘need’ a wheel chair and could walk perfectly and did so as captured repeatedly on camera went to the Minister of Health, the Minister of Health of the government required me to give the patient back the wheel chair. He was using it in his management work in sex trade.  The Minister of Health no longer supported the doctors as the Attorney General no longer supported the police. The front line workers found quickly they were alone and increasingly no one wants to deal with ‘negative transference’.  Euthanasia and « MAid » are the rising industries today.  Indeed therapy studies show that the patients ability today to ‘recovery’ is greater than the ‘therapists’ belief in their ability.  But then the therapists today have no support.  

I’m surprised anyone does psychoanalysis in Canada today and really figure it’s probably no longer something that can be done in the public system.  Ineffecutal very popular counselling is far more attractive in the same way that the government is increasingly telling addicts and alcoholics that the therapists who seek abstinence are uncaring whereas they the loving mother therapists will give them their alcohol and drugs .

It’s always been said in insight therapy that therapy begins when the therapist says ‘no’. Don’t say ‘no’.  

Why change when ‘being offended’ is so much more lucrative. The cornerstone of therapy was that the patient saw their need to change and that the role of therapy was not for the doctor to change. Today there is even Dr. Google who would have in the day told Freud and Jung to go stuff themselves as all they were wanted for was to agree with the patient and sign the chit.  

Indeed most of psychiatry and psychiatrists have been co opted by insurance companies , pharmaceutical companies, laboratory services.. the STATE and by the Courts.  Indeed the least paid activity for psychiatrists is psychotherapy of any kind.

In psychoanalytic therapy we used to call ‘insight therapy’ and other ‘change therapies’ as ‘therapy’ whereas ‘medication therapy’ and ‘supportive therapy ‘ were ‘management.  “Management’ is mostly what doctors do and the greatest money to be made as a psychiatrist indicating what the College, Government and the society at large want from them is to sign prescriptions and write notes for insurance, occupation or court.  Management demands in their inadequacy that psychiatrists and all physicians indeed ‘manage’ their patients since ‘cure’ is a higher level of comprehension and requires a greater level of hands on experience.  



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The following is another story. I don’t know how to outline and cut or cut and paste on this blog program. I’d like to keep this rough draft.The one above I’ve reviewed and as usual watched how I was writing fine and informational material until I mentioned the ‘College of Physicians and Surgeons’. I have PTSD from being held hostage, threatened, shot and physically attacked in my work in offices and prisons and asylums.  Nothing is more ‘abusive’ though than dealing with the Borg of the Beurocracy.  This is Kafka’s Castle and they have caused me untold pain and suffering simply with their belief that they don’t cause untold pain and suffering and see themselves as ‘good tits’. All the evidence of history especially Nuremberg Trials suggests otherwise but anyone who questions ‘authority’ in this society is punished still by the totalitarian government models and as malingres, addicts, borderlines, sociopaths and psychopaths know the power of and ‘use’ spliting’ the present ‘authorities’ are doing untold damage to patients by supporting the malingerers, sociopaths etc to the detriment of the health care which is now coopted by anything but health care.  This hijacking of essential services has it’s own history and was best done by Hitler, Lenin, Trotsky.  The US today has been ‘split’ into a ‘democratic majority house’ and a ‘republican majority’ house and yet no one will accept the historic interpretation of the war of ‘good and evil’.  Freud described the drives as ‘life force’ and ‘death force’. The history of health care has been in Canada and other communist countries the destruction of the power and autonomy of the middle class and the ‘guilds in general’.  There is a return to the elite and peasant or king and peasant or ‘communist committee and peasant model and the use of the brown shirt, the antifida and the mafia and borderlines to this end along with the ‘illegals’, ‘illegal migrants’ , ‘illegal addicts’, ‘illegal protestros’ makes the model of psychoanalysis with the idea of the ‘doctor’ and ‘health care’ precarious.  Death is preferred. There is always more money in killing than healing.  There was more money offered to me for doing abortions than delivering babies. 

So I get derailed.  I think someday I’ll ‘purify’ my history and discussion of practice and write a book without the despair and sadness I experienced dealing with the sociopaths, borderlines and narcissists in government who were at times far more disturbed and dangerous than my sometimes dangerous patients.  I think I’ll be removed from the trauma of work without support and with all the promises broken and I’ll talk about just how to put a thumb in a damn to save the wall.  But today I see that I get derailed.  I see the Pope defending Pedophiles. I see Judge Curry . I see a stoned prime minister paying a terrorist 10 million dollars to kill a good American soldier. I’m in despair and struggle each day to help patietns who continue to come to me and want to ‘do the right thing’ and want help ‘being good’.  And want ‘symptom relief’ mostly because they’re struggling in todays toxicity where more and more shit is coming down on all but the elite.  

When I began in psychiatrist it was said psychotherapy wasn’t needed if a vacation or a raise could solve the problem. The normal complaint I see today is « I’m homeless’.... »I can’t pay the rent’.... » I can’t afford school’...I can’t find a job’.....People break into my apartment every day......I was robbed three times and the police just recorded it.....I was raped and it’s the second time and nothing is done....all the girls in my neighbourhood have been raped.....the ‘problems’ are ‘social work’ problems and I’m reduced to ‘supportive therapy’ and ‘writing letters to get funding, housing, mediation and health care’. I’m no longer asked to be a ‘neutral’ psychiatrist but a ‘street worker advocate and social worker’.  Given the shortages I’m irritated by colleagues who don’t work in the field but increasingly doctors are avoiding the ‘front line’s because they have no back up. Police told me they are afraid to be first to shootings because of the same.  No wonder there was 20 minute delay the last time I phoned 911.  Of course administration is afraid too.

One day I’ll ‘edit’ the blog and cull the ‘good news’ and leave the negativity in the basket.  Editing is a summer time job. Not now when I’m looking outside and grey and should be writing gratitude lists because despite all the shit life goes on and things really improve and patietns are benefitted great élu by the hodge lodge and the Minister of Health is a good enough guy and the College of Physician and Surgeosn like the Judges and Coursts are mostly doing good. There are less homicides in Canadia. People live longer. There’s generally so much good and I personally have to write stuff which reflects that ....focus on the positives of psychotherapy and address the benefits of ‘insight’ without the ‘snide’ comments or the criticism of the ‘other’ guy. I have been in volves the last couple of years in ‘politics’ which is outwardly focussed. We criticize the other guy and secondarily improve our ‘brand’ or ‘product’.  It’s like hockey. I am in a ‘war’ with the other team and ‘call them down’ and ‘psyche ourselves up’ but I need to focus on the positive. This is better. In my work I do.  In my personal life I flog myself and see the negative and flaws rather than seeing the sacred and holy. The world is beautiful. God is good. There is good in everyone. I have to be that way inclined. But I’m a novice.  So for now that’s the parallel in psychotherapy. The struggle.  

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To be edited for typos etc. 

With that said the next therapy form was Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I was formally trained and supervised for 6 months  in CBT in 1986 by one of Canada’s first proponents and leaders in this therapy which derived from Dr. Beck.  CBT was a parental education model with the patient as ‘student’ and homework assignments being given and the role of the therapist not as ‘listener’ but as ‘teacher’.  The therapist was ‘active’ and the nature of the work was always in the conscious realm.  “Negative transference’  was never addressed.  The therapist didn’t say ‘no’ and mostly this was coupled with psychopharmacology so the ‘good mother’ not only taught the child ‘good thinking’ but also gave her the tit with ‘good drugs’. 

My interest had been ‘non  compliance’ or ‘non adherence with medical regimen.’  At the time morbidity and mortality were the model of care. Doctors were compensated for restoring patients health and returned them to work and relationships and extending their lives. In CAnada today the health care system has introduced Maid which means that the role of the doctor is no longer quality and quantity of life but may simply been to assist with ‘quality of life.’  I thought I was a good boy doctor because I’d stopped hundreds of patients from killing themselves , got thousands back to work and in relationships with much active work on my part. Today if a person wants to kill them selves government psychiatrists are offering them Medicall Assisted suicide or ‘feel good’ drugs.  It’s fairly dumbed down.  There’s certainly no ‘struggling with the demons’ ,or need to keep patients alive,.  You get paid whether they live or die. It’s kind of like Climate Change or Bipolar Disorder .You win heads or tails.  You get paid regardless of what you say or predict. Very nice for the therapist but not so good for the patient perhaps.  The key though is there is longer an agreement of outcome.  The doctor whose patients all die or all remain drunk may well be elevated and paid the most whereas the doctor whose patients live and change might not be liked. It’s all politics and popularity now.

The key to psychoanalytic psychotherapy was that it indeed viewed competing drives. Freud saw individuals as having within the unconscious an Eros or life with and ‘thanatos’ or death wish’.  

CBT works very well with compliant patients.  The trouble is that ‘education’ as a model has major limitations as evidenced in studies when seatbelt ‘education’ resulted in only a few percent wearing them whereas a ‘fine ‘ resulted in 90 % compliance.  

Psychoanalysis began with motivated patients.

Today there has been a whole focus on ‘Change’. Dr. Watsylwalek out of the Palo Alto group wrote a book and began to assess therapy relative to change. It wasn’t about ‘feeling good’ but ‘doing good’. In CBT you felt what you thought.  But in Change Behaviour feelings were thought to follow from changed behaviour.  The whole concept of ‘Secondary Gain’ which was central to Psychoanalysis was again addressed.

Motivation Therapy which assesses first the ‘Willingness to Change’before assigning resources specifically works on changing behaviour.  STory Telling therapy is another ‘change behaviour’ which works on ‘changing behaviour’.  12 step facilitation therapy works on changing behaviour.  Indeed there are a variety of new models of therapy which use ‘change of behaviour ‘ as the point of outcome.  Not ‘feeling good’.  These are advanced in Occupational Therapy schools. 

Somewhere back there I typically began to wander. If I were to actually be writing a paper I’d stop with the discussion of psychoanalysis, avoid mentioning the Borg College which invariably throws me off thinking rationally about therapy. It’s as bad as mentioning politics today. Like most of my patietns I’m in Existential Fog.  ‘What the fuck happened.”  

When I began in psychiatry and did psychotherapy for decades it was an old adage if a person ‘s problem could be solved with a raise or a vacation it wasn’t a psychiatric problem.  Thanks to government mismanagement and society change and the rise of the black market and delusional processes, the majority of my patients have principally ‘sociological’ issues. As one psychiatrist said, “I feel I should stand in the office with three signs and hold up which every one applies. His signs were ‘GET A JOB!” “GET MARRIED” or “GET A LIFE”.  Most of his patients wanted to feel good but without eating vegetables. Their lives were so socially unbalanced that there was little expectation psychological change would help. Half or more of my patients are physically severely limited. Increasingly my psychiatric role is ‘advocate’ whereas the government saying they want to help patietns punish those who actually are on the frontlines. The wealth of medicine is now far removed from the patient doctor interface.  The patients ‘depression’ is increasingly tied to their financial problem and the health care system doesn’t pay for the therapy they ‘need’.  There are ‘cures’ for ‘cancer’ but their ‘government health care plan’ doesn’t cover that.  

Patients are no longer depressed because they’re psychotic but indeed the ‘system’ is psychotic.  The lunatics are out and the normals are in the asylum. There’s all manner of ways of saying it but mostly my patients would get a whole lot better with a raise or a vacation and what they’re told they get is another as like antidepressant when what they need in their work is cocaine because they’re being asked to do the job of ten people for less a and less compensation Mostly they can’t afford to live in Vancouver. Those aren’t traditional psychotherapy issues.  Increasingly I’ve been ‘teaching’ people how to hire a lawyer, access advocacy groups, get into an education program, get funding. I’m doing ‘social work’ because they don’t have social workers. I’m increasingly doing general practice medicine because 50% of patient don’t have a family physician and 80% of psychiatric patients don’t. So rather than thinking of what’ unconscious issues or drives are involved in the patients presentation’ I’m actually ‘rescuing’ the patient by writing a prescription for an antibiotic.  I’m constantly fighting for patients to have what the government insurance policies promised them but has refused to provide them. I am waiting 2 years for sleep disorder consults and 6 months for MRI’s.  Increasingly patients are asking me about euthanasia because of the delays and beurocracy and their negative social situation.  Many of my patients are living out of plastic bags because of the cockroaches and bed bug infestations.  

When a patient is bleeding the psychiatrist puts finger in the hole or applies a tourniquet.  The Canadian Health Care System is so broken with massive interfering micromanagement and lack of communication and ‘divide and conqueur’ ‘splitting’ tactics of communist administration that doctors are doing little more than emergency care in general.  Going to work for the last decade has felt more like being in a war zone psychologically than the golden years of psychotherapy when patients were not angry with all the broken promises and the general difficulties of ‘just getting by’.  Now most of my patients have no money, no time and are utterly frustrated and want a quick fix and have read all the promises and fantasies on google and see the doctor as a threat because the alternative health care people ‘care’ whereas the ‘government physicians’ are just interested in money’.

Oh well. That’s the way it is.  I miss doing insight psychotherapy , weekly seeing the same person, getting to know them in depth, not talking, sitting in my reclining chair, listening and watching the patient ‘change’. No medication. No ‘feeding’ the patient. No third party person demanding centre stage. I miss the drama of the two people in therapy.  My friend went to jail because she refused to breach patient confidence.  Nothing we say is sacrosanct. Everyone is watched. The paranoids are right.  But I miss that nearly meditative experience in the quiet room. I miss hypnotizing people and seeing them go on to have surgery without anesthetic. I miss a lot of the past therapy eras, the power of group therapy and marriage therapy when I did it. But now I just do ‘walk in clinic psychiatry’.  Like the ‘walk in ‘ doctors in general I miss the ‘relationships’ we had as physicians when we didn’t have to always be fighting for resources for patietns and when the patients were not so socially desperate. We could treat illness not this beaurocratic abortion with the black market and less and less communication and time. I miss the monthly meetings with psychiatrists and getting together weekly with colleagues to discuss cases. I miss the days when the administrators served the people but today we all serve the new masters and they are hard task masters and the problems are mostly ‘social’.  When a person has food we can talk about dreams and fantasies. But insight psychotherapy has no place when people are starving. 




Christmas Oratorio - Vancouver Chamber Choir - Owen McCausland, Evangelist - Pacific Baroque Orchestra

Johann Sebastian Bach’s Christmas Oratorio has to my mind never been performed better. It’s only my second time experiencing it live, mind you,  but Bach is my all time favourite composer.  Conductor Kari Turunen was magnificent.  The voice of Owen McCausland was spectacular. The other solos and duets were drawn from the choir who were apart and together angelic. The Pacific Baroque Orchestra could not have been better. I loved the wind instruments. The strings were sweet. The keys special.  The brass and kettle drum a delight.  2 parts with the second rising to exultant.  The Vancouver Chamber Choir was heavenly. The Orpheum was the perfect venue for this masterpiece.  It was indeed one of the rarest of nights. A performance to be remembered fondly for a life time.
 









 Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Friday, December 6, 2019

Friday Gratitude

Thank you Lord for Friday. Thank you for this day at the end of a week of work. Thank you for my work. Thank you for my family and friends. Thank you for the light showing now in the early morning sky. Thank you for the shadows. Thank you for the forest. Thank you for my neighbours. Thank you for Gilbert who likes his tummy rubbed. Thank you for bananas and farmers and trucks and boats and stores and shop keepers. Thank you for law and order and banks and police and jails and asylums and doctors and nurses. Thank you for the rules which are mostly very very good. Thank you for judges and politicians who have a hard job of compromise. Thank you for those who take thankless jobs. Thank you for plumbers and rectal surgeons and paper towel and spray cleaner for cleaning up vomit piss and shit. Thank you for the people who do that in airports and truck stop rest rooms.
Thank you for clean air. Thank you for clean water. Thank you for intelligence. Thank you for empathy and compassion. Thank you for meetings and churches and temples. Thank you for houses and apartments and RV’s. Thank you for tents. Thank you for summer camping. Thank you for hot tubs. Thank you for running water and indoor plumbing.Thank you for silk and satin and denim. Thank you for cotton and electric blankets. Thank you for toothpaste and mouthwash and soap. Thank you for carpets and blinds. Thank you for cars and bicycles and motorcycles. Thank you for all your blessings Lord. Hallelujah. 





















Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Politics and Spirituality

I study the peaceful warrior path, the gentle soul journey, I am a lover not a fighter. Give peace a chance. I was a hippy with love painted on my forehead in San Francisco dancing in the streets with flowers in my hair. I was with the most beautiful woman in the world. We were beautiful people. We marched for peace.  Later I’d get a sliver of the Nobel Prize as a member of Physicians against Nuclear War.
Today I’m older. 
I still meditate. I still believe it’s good to be slow to anger and I know that anger is really fear. There is only fear and love, love and fear.  I’m a lover still but I’ve been a fighter. 
 Jesus taught, Love God and Love your neighbour as yourself.  Christianity is the religion of Love. The church is connection. Spirituality is God made. Religion is man made. Religion must bow to the war state and spirituality does not need to.  The spiritual can be martyrs but the religious make better administrators. 
It’s all okay to dance in the streets and camp in tents and love one another but what next. The longest running ‘commune’ out of the 60’s has degenerated into a scolding paranoid community after years of seeing slackers, psychopaths and sociopaths steal and not return.  The socialism of the Apostle with the awe inspiring presence of Jesus aincarnate floundered immediately with members withholding and stealing communal funds. 
 It was funny listening to a documentary of commune by BBC and considering how they sounded just like the towns, islands,   villages and aboriginal reserves where I’d worked as a family physician and psychiatrist.  Well intentioned but quickly Balkanized.
Politics.
I admire my friend Aim who is a professor of politics. One of the most diplomatic people I know. Buddhist upbringing. Gentle old soul. earth mother. 
I met the Dalai Lama.  Nice man. Peaceful.  Calm.  Intelligent.
When the Chinese invaded Tibet the greatest peaceniks of all time sat cross legged in the path of Chinese tanks and troops and meditated.  Like John Lennon and ,wealthy beyond our wildest dreams, Yoko Ono sitting in a 5star hotel with maid service on a bed made for them, the sheets washed by laundry women, except in the front lines.  All the stupidest greatest ideas of delusional leadership come from the farthest from the front.
“OM...Give Peace a Chance”.  The Chinese, todays modern equivalent of the Vorgon of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the Communist Binary Marxist mind being the stupidest lowest common denominator, so attractive to the thug, and lizard, fundamentally the ‘paranoid position of psychiatry’. Us and them.  Tribal. Kill them before they kill us. You’re either with us or agin us. 
The Chinese Aetheist communist socialists mowed down all the Buddhist priests and avatars and hippies.  Just like they’re doing today in Hong Kong. Just like the Russian Communists did in the USSR where they killed a hundred million in as many years.  Hitler and Fascism were just National Socialism. Communism was international socialism. Godless loveless Aetheist constructs, powerful and powerless. The re-enactment of the God emperor and peasant construct under facetious language and pseudoscience and pseudo intellectualism.
After the leaders of the Tibetan peace community were killed en mass in the beginning of the genocide which continues today, the second class monks, the ‘B’ students,  remembered the British Enfields and grabbed those and shot back at the Chinese with their tanks and machine guns. They died too.
My friend, a Buddhist psychiatrist, used to forget to ask about suicide. “It’s a personal intimate matter,” he said. “Easier for a Buddhist to ask a woman about her masturbation and sexual fantasies than to ask her about her suicidal ideation.”
The Buddhist monks had a ‘good death’ creating delays to allow the child Dalai Lama, the incarnation of God, to escape to India who gave the Dalai Lama asylum while the Chinese communists continued to do their boorish stupid uncivilized rape and pillage of Tibet where they have planted countless Chinese Colonies. The Chinese make the European Imperialists look like saints and choir boys. The Chinese Communists are the ‘running dog Imperialists’. Thugs ,thieves and pigs. Xi Jinpeng is this generations Hitler or Lenin, whichever mass murderer you prefer from history.
The Communists are todays Nazi. Marx was an aetheist Jew, a kafetch, with an Inferiority Complex and grandiose delusions.  Lenin was a lover of murder and bank robbery and with Stalin, Molotov and Trotsky began the Bolsheviks with murder assasination and bank robbery, destroying the Parliamentary Democracy of Russia, killing off and threatening the Mensheviks and re writing history to obscure the Patricide of the day. At least the French Revolutionaris were more transparent as Robespierre indulged in patricide with his guilotines. The Enfant Terribles of history.  Matricidal and Patricidal revolutionaries. Politics. 
Mohammed’s Muslim religion, the Hadith and Koran,  like the Torah of the Jews is a tribal religion.  God is ‘my god’. And the People are ‘my people’.  The Muslim lie is that Islam is a religion of peace. It’s only killing competitor is the aetheist communist religion.  The Catholics hardly killed so many. Ghengis Khan and Alexander certainly did but they were fighting armies and overtly conquering nations. Mohammed and his Warrior Priests did that, killing all the Jews and Zoroastrians and Christians of the Middle East who wouldn’t convert until the Crusades stopped his progress.
 The Muslim hoards were turned back in Spain and at Venice.  We know the names of Patton and Monty, Constantine, Eisenhower but we’re not reminded in history of the Battle of Tours 732 when Christian  Charles Martel,  precursor of King/Pope/Emperor Charlemagne,  defeated the Muslim invasion of Western Europe or the Battle of Vienna 1683 King John III Sobieski defeated the last Muslim invasion of Europe. These are events as significant as the Berlin airlift defence against godless aggressive communism or finally the fall of the Berlin Wall and the freeing of hundreds of millions from Aetheist communist tyranny.
 We’re now in the midst of a ‘migration war’ which was the normal precursor of the great wars of history.  Before the muslim poor of Europe are clothed and fed their countries are providing resources for Mosques and other such staging areas if history is to be recalled.  The Nazis invaded Austria in defence of the Germans there who were the fifth column of WWII. Politics.

Love your neighbour as yourself.
Love your enemy. Spirituality.

Justin Trudeau, our pot head leader whose intellect has been described as the ‘depth of a puddle’ actually said, “If you kill your enemy he wins.”  No. Idiot.
Love your enemy doesn’t mean let him kill you. That turns him into a murderer and you into a suicidal. Better to defend yourself from the dangerously insane. 
I was in the peace movement and often irritated by the girls who had never fought and been protected all their lives by their fathers and boyfriends and thought like any Huffington Post Bimbo that sentimentalism is going to rule. These are the all style no substance hoard of the Kardasian reality tv slut world. These girls and boys get their ethics and morality off pornhub. 
 History tells us that Homo Sapiens were the successful Human species because they wiped out their sometimes peaceful neighbours..  They killed their neighbours, destroyed any men who where a threat, turned the women into sex slaves and made the children slaves warriors. This continued till a few hundred years ago as the Muslim mode of conquer.  The Muslims in India killed 250,000 Sikhs in one day. They infiltrated the Hindu south and then with treachery and war invaded and took doing just that. The British Empire with superior naval resources established a more economic colonialism like China is doing now in Africa but leaving some autonomy over social affairs with the locals. Politics.
The Spanish won the war against the Aztec of Mexico and South America not by sheer forth. Columbus had a few hundred men and his followers who went on to conquer and steal all the gold of central and South America despite being up against against millions of  armed natives.  They won because a whole lot of people were angry at the rulers stealing their virgin daughters and killing them en mass. They welcomed the Spanish and made an unholy alliance which overthrew the rulers of the day, a blood thirsty lot who favoured ripping the heart out of the chest of living victims just for starts. Politics.
Aboriginal Plains Indians didn’t introduce scalping as Hollywood history and misinformation propaganda declared, Whites introduced scalping, but the plains Indias did favour castrating their enemies and burying them in ant hills. The native women were the best of histories’ torturers only competing in the torture Olympics with Count Vlad who spiked his victims on his lawn leaving them to die over days as their bowel acids destroyed them from with in. With the stake up their anus and gravity they dies slowly impaled ever more as they flailed about.
Not a happy history. Politics.
Not many years ago Communist Pol Pot murdered half the nation of Cambodia killing millions. His concentration camps were very effective providing food only for work and starvation resulting for any slackards. The Gulags were also an educational enterprise like Neo Pagan Nazi socialists’s  Auswitch
In the Hindu Bible, the Bhagad Gita, sometimes shortened to the Gita, Arjuna, the boy king says to Krishna the god, ‘the war is going on but the combatants are all my family.’  Krishna replied, ‘that is always the way, “so the only decision is ‘whether you participate or not’.  

In India, the Brahman, meditators, peace nicks , merchants, all had a class of body guards, the caste of warriors.  CS Lewis, the great Christian teacher writer had the British Empire and army.  Trudeau who talks shit (reminds me of my self when I taught drama, did sports, and chased women other than my wife and talked swank, but I was in my 20’s,  not nearly 50 like he is, but nonetheless very similiar to my own youthful stupidity and cupidity so very mirroringly repugnant) has a half dozen body guards.  I never had body guards. The trust fund babies always had adult baby sitters. He still has today so can talk gun control for everyone but his fraternity/sorority bro’s. The elite always have weapons, or body guards or armies.

Steal a little and they put you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king.

The reformer is the enemy of anyone who benefits from the status quo. 

The principle protection from attack of the monk, like St. Francis, is that they had nothing to steal. The Vikings raided the Irish monasteries for the gold crosses but the individual monks were little more than target practice.  The good looking women were always raped first whether they wore a nun habit or a princess’s robes.

Jesus ‘s disciple chopped off the ear of one of his attackers who came to take Jesus. Jesus restored the ear and went with his capturer,  the established church of the day , whose coffers were being affected by his new brand teachings. 
 Religion is a brand and an industry.  Marx said ‘religion was the opiate of the masses’.  The tribe is divided into a war faction and a religious healing faction. The “hearts and minds’ approach of the war machine is to use religion and health care and economic benefits to get the people on the side of the ‘war machine’. 
 Jesus wasn’t so pacifistic as obedient and was following his father’s orders.  He was to die and besides if the authorities wanted to kill him anytime they could.
 Herod , the Jewish king had killed thousands of babies when he felt threatened, and the Romans introduced the term ‘decimate’. If anyone resisted their invasion they killed every tenth man, woman or child in the village from which the ‘terrorist/freedom fighter’ came from.  The Italians continued this into WWII.  
Jesus was not an advocate of gun control.  Stalin, Mao, Trudeau and Hitler are gun control advocates.  Jesus’ people had knives and swords otherwise the women would be raped and the children stolen. Today’s Christians prefer Colt’s Smith and Weston’s.  A really pious Christian pastor has an AR-15. 
The key o Jesus’s teaching was to be ‘slow to anger’. Forgive ‘70 x 70’ not indefinitely but a lot, a limited amount, but a lot. That said, the Quakers and Mennonites, the original hippy Christians escaped to America, served in all the most dangerous jobs in the war, as stretcher bearers and now that earth remains hostile will en mass be the first to man space ships to Mars to escape the murderous and godless.

An eye for an eye is the first law of Mercy.  If you hurt the Hay family of Scotland the whole clan hunted down every member of your tribe and killed you centuries thereafter. Today we cry ‘wipe out the enemy’s genes strain and see ourselves in defence as arbiters of the Worlds Darwin Awards. The Stuart’s are little better and the Irish collectively are as vengeful as Scottish clan individually. To this day most Scots are still suspicious of Campbells because they killed the Macdonald’s, their allies in their sleep.  Dastardly Campbells.  Cowards and whores. Politics. 

Tribes are about revenge.  

Most tribes called themselves ‘the people’. Inuit means the ‘people’.  Eskimo is the southern forest aboriginal’s name for theie northern neighbours - Eskimo means ‘fish eater’.  When the anthropologists were in Samoa they asked the tribe they encountered what they called themselves and they said ‘the people’ so they asked what they called the others who weren’t the people. “The edible ones’ they replied. Cannibals are alive and well and live among us. They are generally held in bad taste. 

Mathus said world population was controlled by starvation, war and disease.

The Modern Era has been the greatest time of history with the greatest developments, prolongation of life, reduction almost completely of starvation, disease prevention and control with greater longevity and reduced infant mortality. War continues but it’s limited.  

Thanks to the British Empire and then the AMerican Empire , Canada is relatively unique in that it has not had war on its soil for hundreds of years.  

Now Alcoholics Anonymous was said to be a ‘spiritual program’ but it’s been highly effective in the military and Americans in AA stayed sober while killing Germans and Italians inthe WWII campaigns. They weren’t into gun control or being Peace nicks back then because they’d not had television propaganda or been protected from reality by a variety of addictions offered to ‘useful idiots’ todays - tv, internet, sex of every sort, shopping,  gluttonous delight with take out and phone in, avarice wealth with stock market gambling and casino gambling. These are the best and worst of times.

Cappadoecia with it’s underground churches in the middle of Turkey and Meteora with it’s Monasteries on the tops of Greek flutes , both were over run in time. Tibet was the last escape and the Chinese Aetheist Communists wouldn’t let anyone alone. They’ve developed surveillance systems the likes of which the KGB, CIA and Staci all are envious.  Obama and Homeland Security infiltrated even the leaders of their allies. Zuckerberg is the great angriest traitor to the world of all times when it comes to confidentiality and his promises. He’s watching me right now. Everyone is under surveillance. There is nowhere to run. That’s the real message of Bin Laden. 

Steal a little and they put you in jail. Steal a lot and they make you king.  Dr. Johnson

Everything is now stolen and the carbon tax is the taxing the air we breathe. Big government is huge. Big Brother and Big Sister are the Vorg. They are ‘one world government’.  A few hundred elite billionaires in the west and as many trillionairs in the Muslim dictatorships and communist aetheist dictatorships.

When I am “political’ on Facebook or in ‘debate’ I’m actually in a kind of ‘sophisticated’ ‘war game’.  I’m using language and gesture and ‘rhetoric’ and ‘logic’.  Animals have ‘mock displays’. This causes lesser beasts to back down without engaging. It’s a peaceful technique. All this ‘anti hate speech’ in fact increases war because it removes this ‘dance ‘ and ‘drama’ that causes the majority of actual encounters to be less.  Verbal warfare restricted, leads to actual warfare. The government is always into ‘divide and conquer’ increasing civil strife so that more government is  ‘necessary’.  Normal dominance hierarchies are established without bringing in the state. The whole death of Jesus is an interesting lesson in the ‘offended’s’ use of authority.  The child fighting with the sibling goes to the parents and lies. The parent engages and favouritism increases warfare.

Sports and debate are stylized warfare without carnage. Competition is central to evolution but increasingly denial looms among educational cretans confirming the old adage, ‘if you can’t do, teach’. Let’s give every kid a ribbon. Let’s reward the loser. That was Hitler’s ploy elevating the Brownshirts, todays low brow masked Antifid’s.

But the Security Council, France, Britain, China, Russia and America, the leadership of the UN is there purely to sell weapons and compete with arms and keep the others down.  The Desert STorm Arms Bazaar was a war weapon competition and the American capitalism and reward of the creative and ingenious beat out the Russian dictatorship weapons. Russians and Chinese have depended on mostly stealing technology.  The Desert Story Arms Bazzarrd beat the aetheists.  Constantine made his empire Christian because Christians were the greatest warriors and told the truth and kept secrets best. Aetheists are the worst and Muslims aren’t much better.  Corruption thrives where there is no God or where the dictator, king or committee is an autocrat. Fear drives dictatorships.  Patriotism drives democracy.

Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.  Dr. Samuel Johnson.

Spiritually, to love my enemy, I’m to think that Hitler was ‘sicker’ not evil. I’m supposed to ‘pray’ for my enemies’.  Mostly this relieves me of obsessing about them and the genetically tried and prove trait of creative vengefulness. 

On Facebook I should be kind and nice to devious elite sociopaths like Greta Thurnberg a chip off Trudeau’s shoulder. Yet I know Climate Change as a political economic lie to create more government power and to tax Canadian middle class more for the elite wasted life style of Trudeau and his ilk.

Or do I engage in ‘verbal warfare’ , debate and the dance of ‘court room’ ‘rhetoric and media rhetoric and logic much like the idea that politics is the sport of the intellectual. These are irrational times and marketting knows that 19th century reason doesn’t sell consumer good. A picture is with a thousand words. 

Or do I withdraw for my peace of mind. The monk or villagers. 

I went to sea and had 25 days away from people, alone with my dog and cat, a luxury of all time. I had a ham radio but no telepone, tv, internet. I used my satellite phone only for strict emergency communication.  I used it once to get assistance with equipment failure repair. 

I visited monasteries and saw as Thomas Merton did that they were’ communities’ .  None of this ‘fool on a hill’ thing. The last Hermit in Canada was killed by the RCMP for isolating.  You can’t get away from the state. On land I’ve been able to build my own road back into the wilderness and get a week before others followed my off road trail. I’ve hiked into the mountains and had a week or so isolation before a ‘curious’ person appears..  It’s hard to ‘retreat’. Our backs are against the wall.

Especially since China, Obama and Zuckerberg began to spy on everyone.  Effectively. 

The Canadian Supreme Court Judge wanted Transparency for the courts but the courts want everything behind closed doors.  That was the British way, a public face and a private action.  Mr. Trump promises to drain the swamp but WW2 was won as much by gay Turing as straight Patton. Vegetarian drug addict Hitler never had a chance.

We don’t even know the richest of the richest people.  Fame and Fortune. Fame and poverty can go together but Fortune can and does buy anonymity and even some degree of isolation.  The king and queen have an inner sanctum. The people are out on the street. They even closed the asylums so on the rich had their personal lunatic wards and modern dungeons. 

Spirituality and politics.  

If I am a monk I can withdraw from the politics of this world but then I am stuck still in the politics of family and monastery. I’ve been reading a bout a monk who was expelled from his monastery.

If I am a part of the world then I can engage in ‘verbal war’ but not ‘physical war’ but my country under Trudeau is using every means possible to establish a dictatorship in Canada and suing comedians and denying confidentiality to everyone is all part of a move that’s terrifying.

Jesus said ‘Do not be afraid’.

The rule is the dictator always win if freemen remain silent. Need I be afraid? A slow painful death of agin or a bad day on the cross or a bad few day with Count Vlad. The sixties series, The Prisoner, like One Flew Over the Cuckoos nest is the modern torture, the isolation chambers of jails, Quntanamo Bay detention camp, forced to listen to Canadian music day and night. 

Perhaps the war will come after I die.  I was hoping people could talk instead of fight but the Islam is a religion of peace which demands everyone be Muslim and Sharia law rule so everyone can have peace. Aetheist communism is a religion of world peace which demands that everyone be communist so there can be world peace.  

We are in the midst of a world war.  I love chess where everyone moves their peices about. I truly believe Hillary would have caused a world war because all women leaders have lead their countries to war, matriarchies historically most violent in history, but we’re doing well without world war but increasing impoverishment of the only sane class, the middle class. The destruction of the middle classs is the rule of Communism and Islam. Dictatorsships are binary with Elite and Peasants. The trinity of the three classes with a middle class of unions and professions and the elite white collar welfare and peasant blue collar welfare is being destroyed today.

But I don’t know. I really don’t know. Is it better for me to remove myself. I’m of a retirement age. Maybe let the war games begin and the alliance of England, France and China against Russia and America or even England France and China and Russia against AMerica take place. Trudeau has alligned Canada with godless communists and muderous dictators against America, our greatest ally, and today our protector.

Germany, Italy and Japan alliance of WW2 is like the Aetheist Communists, Muslims wahabees and Socialist/communist Europeans like Germany today and Brussels. America has Poland now and many other allies like other democracies though Canada under Trudeau no longer is voting for democracy but rather going for Climate change destruction of economy while China and India build more and more coal mines and use excess oil.  

How can I love my neighbour and talk with idiots. Should I hold my tongue and live in fear. Canadians are known for their apathy and servility which masquerades as polite society but appears more like the mannerisms of inmates of jails or asylums. 

Gandhi was highly destructive with passive aggressive strikes and aggressive civil disobedience. If you stand up you make yourself a target. 

Can spirituality and politics coexist.Can a spiritual person be a politician today? However does one do it? Spirituality is the opposite of cowardice but there is nowhere left to retreat. 

Please God guide me. Let me be true but not so true as to be a martyr. 

Mostly I want to say Beam me up Scotty.  Uhura, Spock, Bonhoeffer  St. Joan of Ark, Anyone?