Vancouver to Hay Bay with Gilbert

Last year Gilbert and I didn’t fly because he’d had his eyes removed secondary to hereditary glaucoma with no medical cure.  He’d also hurt his back. Frankly  we are all getting older.

I traded my fabulous little 2 seater blackMiata sports car in for a British racing green Mini Cooper with room for Gilbert to stretch out in the spacious back seat cargo area. We drove down to San Diego. I even crossed into Mexico.  

The most joyous moment was when Laura and I took Gilbert out on the Oregon beaches. Until then he’d been quite depressed and anxious since having his second eye removed in the fall. He banged into things everywhere and felt really frightened in his blindness.

 Something about the sea air and surf and memory of beaches had him running full out between Laura and I calling him back and forth , the two of us strategically far apart. He regained his confidence and was chasing me, running full out with his new high stepping prance.  It was truly Christmas to see him so confident and happy again.

It’s been a good year for him and most don’t even know he is blind.  A special family reunion at Hay Bay for Christmas with Alan and Meagan returning from London for the occasion. Graeme was back at University of Toronto studying nuclear energy already having his chemical engineering degree.  

“When are you going to make me a nuclear reactor for my Harley Davidson that won’t castrate me?” I ask him.

“Not soon.”  But he does wax poetic about  energy.  A brilliant young man with the reasoned insight of my deceased older brother. I miss Ron so truly and  enjoy seeing his likeness in the fine men he and Adell have.

Andrew and Tanya have bought a new house in Kanata near where Ron and Adell raised the family. I’d known the babies in Winnipeg but Adell and Ron’s love affair beginning there had cemented  in Saskatchewan only to return to Winnipeg and fly east to Ottawa. 

Ron was in the Federal Government completing his MBA having already done a science degree.  Adell  proceeded from elementary school teacher much loved by little ones to obtaining a PHD and being a principal of the near by Kanata school, much loved by adults. 

I visited them a lot in the years after mom died at Deer Lodge Hospital and we convinced poor blind Dad that he needed asssitance despite his insistence he could live totally on his own. He’d developed glaucoma late in life and so missed his sight. Still,  he’d  spent the last year of my mother’s life  by bus commuting hours to and from the hospital.  Once there he help dress her , bundling her up in winter and pushing her in her wheel chair around the hospital all seasons.  Visiting them in winter I’d sat with him and Mom outside the hospital in the dreadful cold watching them feeding  the birds,remembering the ,always full in winter , bird feeder outside the Fort Garry kitchen window.  

Ron, my truly incredible brother, took on the task of caring for dad , doing by far the lion’s share of everything his last few years.  Hay men haven’t been known for our docility so convincing Dad to wear a coat outside in winter or to come for a drive was a challenge for poor Ron when Dad was blind,  smart, stubborn and ornery.  

With a large practice I flew out as often as I could and stayed with the family. I’ve always felt guilty juggling loyalties to family, patients, friends and colleagues.

The boys and Adell were all involved in caring for Dad too.  I feel guilty I wasn’t here more, so  thankful for family. 

Dad loved Gilbert. “Where’s my Monkey dog?” he’d call . “ Monkey dog” really was such a good description for Gilbert. Barking he’d bound  into Dad’s lap. Dad was his BFF and he just loved to lick Dad’s ears.

Now Dad and Mom are gone. My Aunt Sally, Mom’s sisters , my Toronto grandparents, the Northern Cowboy and Logger uncles ,  Dad’s parents, long gone while we keep in touch with cousins in the north, Scotland and the US. They’re still too far away.

Ron died only a couple of years after he and Adell bought this Hay Bay property. It reminded me in ways of their university riverside home in Winnipeg where the Boys were born. I loved theiR two setters, Tartan and Rainy the big dogs they had back then.  Now the boys are big and the dogs are small. 

Ron loved to garden and loved this property planting fruit trees and having a real garden the likes my mother had had in Fort Garry. He and she won awards each year at the Fort Garry Horticultural Society. I remember the year Ron’s gladiolas won big time.  Adell too has a green thumb. 

They were hockey and soccer family when the boys were young. Later Ron loved badminton which he’d taken up as a child when we lived down the street from the Badminton Club. . I think his love of badminton took off after his posting to Hong Kong. The Ottawa club he belonged to was full of Chinese friends. When he visited me in Vancouver he’d loved best our visits to  China Town.

Here Ron and Adell immediately joined the curling club for winter sports. I remember them curling in Winnipeg.  Ron kayacked all over Hay Bay and neighboring lake. Kayaking had been his passion. I got Allan to paddle the canoe for me, while I fished and caught a large pike who insisted against my plan to be ‘catch and release’ 

 I told Alan today, ‘That big pike is bigger and still out there waiting for us, Allan”

“Right, Uncle Bill.”he said.

Gilbert has flown a dozen flights and took to being lifted into his kennel for the flight.  He slept the whole way on the plane only becoming a bit anxious after we had landed and a jet traffic jam had us waiting in line for our spot for 15 minutes.  Once off the plane he was out of the kennel and happily prancing beside me on his ‘blind dog’ leash wearing his red ‘therapy dog’ vest.  I’d brought a big suitcase to accommodate gifts so waited for baggage.  

Then we were through. Graeme, looking young and robust, bearded and humorous as always swooped up Gilbert ho was delighted to be treated as the guest of honor.  Graeme has a cockapoo female, Gilbert’s canine cousin, Pepper, short for Peppermint.  Graeme is great with dogs.  Gilbert adores him.  Driving straight from Toronto to Napanee in the old Forester SUV we stopped on the way for Gilbert to have a pee and poop break.  Graeme got me coffee and us donuts.  

Next we were driving through Napanee with all the town’s Main Street Christmas  lights. Beautiful.  Night falling on the country roads. Snow.  Hay Bay covered in snow and ice. The lovely long driveway to the Hay Bay home.  Adell had done a truly remarkable Town and Country reno to the entrance making it so much more elegant than the former rustic entrance had been. I loved it. Gilbert was now the centre of attention for Adell.  Eva and Pepper surrounded their western cousin.  I felt home.

Andrew and Tanya arrived. Then followed The great announcement, she’s 5 months pregnant. I’m going to be a grand uncle.  Next Alan and Meagan arrived, Meagan shows off the sapphire engagement ring.

Adell and her cousin Melvine are cooking up a storm. We go to Christmas Mass leaving the guys and dogs at home.  In Napanee St. Mary Magdalene Anglican Christmas Eve service is inspired.Lovely church. Lovely people.  Adell’s a soloist so always a joy to hear her sing beside me.  

I miss my brother.  I’ve known such a depth of grief and sadness since his death. Not just his loss but all the losses. 　Friends and family, aging, dreams.  Fentanyl epidemic.. Now here I am with the announcement of children and engagement and family.  It’s a wonder. . I am uplifted and inspired. If I could I’d run in circles and bark like Gilbert. 

Christ is born. .The nativity. Bethlehem. Hallelujah.  The future unfolds.  I’m learning to let go.  Gilbert is having a wonderful time with his much bigger ‘pack’ .  We miss Ron. He’s here in spirit. Such monuments to his love and Adell’s. 

I’m truly blessed and thankful to have family.  Such a contrast to the Christmas I spent alone at sea sailing solo.