Now in my dream I was again in a great place of learning. It was Graecian like. Marble columns outside. Beautiful view of the sea in the distance. On a great hill, perhaps like the Acropolis. Different but with that feel. There were different rooms in the building I was in each the size of a grand study hall with hundreds of us gathered in white and black attire. Seating was like a restaurant with all of us ushered in. I saw friends who were so glad to see me. I felt like I do at IDAA. Surprised that they are happy as I am and I am happy at their happiness and greeting. Recognition and remembrance. Nothing negative sullies the experience. Like actors in the green room, we greet each other with animated smiles.
Each dream is different. There are family and friends in some. Beautiful young people in others. The best have my dogs visiting. Last week my deceased friend George was there, leaning against a wall and saluting me with a touch of his hat and that whimsical story telling smile.
Today Tom was seated behind me and Elizabeth was seated near me. I remember Julie catching my eye as well. She looked every bit the ballerina. And Elizabeth was delighted with the words, some ancient, some Latin. We had a tablet each and they scrolled before us as we sang together. Julie caught me mouthing the words trying to appear like I knew this ancient hymn that had some almost Druidic bits, a song of praise and thanksgiving but with nature interwoven in the meaning. Thomas Merton had written it but the name he’d used was Boucher. At least that’s what I thought. It was all dream like.
I love these meetings in the sky. The whole of this gathering could be on clouds. I’m childlike with happiness. Lightness of being. I’m so glad to be apart of.
When the song was over we were streaming out of the building into the sunlight with bright blue sky overhead.
In other dreams in this place I’m sailing. Sometimes I’m playing ball. The ones I love I’m in a room of older women and I’m a child again hardly as high as the table, utterly safe, wandering about in curiosity as they chatter above me around the individual tables in this great space.
I feel so connected and wake happy. At peace. Reassured. This too will pass. That future awaits. I can carry on.
Today I’ve woken to a marvellous site, situated beside this fast flowing river, the sound delightful. Gilbert woke me at 3 am wanting to come up on the bed. It’s a truck camper and he can’t get up but stands on the couch with his head at the foot of the bed, harrumphing. Not loudly but just enough to waken me. I got up and bumble about for a light. Then found my flip flops and his leash and lifted him down the back . The stairs are difficult enough for humans. It was clear he’d only wanted up on the bed, to lie beside his love , Laura, having been lonely in the night but this getting a walk was beyond his wildest dreams. I needed to pee and enjoy marking my camp.
I’ve been wandering around at night without even a knife. A blind cockapoo is not much protection. Yet I feel safe. Tenting I have a shot gun loaded by the bed but in this truck camper I feel like I’m in a house and haven’t even taken the rifle I have along out of it’s locked case. I did noticed I had only a heavy flashlight, not even a knife last night. The night was tranquil, gnarly Douglas firs. I relieved myself beside one. A full moon peaking in and out of clouds passing by. In the darkness Gilbert’s blindness less a handicap. The quiet was special. I was only in a tshirt and it was warm. Alone without other campers around I might have stripped and danced naked in the clearing. Moon dance.
Tonight I just lifted Gilbert back into the van. I took off the light red light I’d clipped to his collar and the leash. He wanted to climb up on the bed but I lifted him down into his little bed and he seemed to accept that, thankful for the entertainment. This camper is all new to him. Laura was back to sleep as I crawled back into bed to dream pleasant dreams, enjoying so much my new mattress. The sheets and new duvet we got yesterday at Fields made for really comfortable and warm sleep after the previous nights chill.
I’m thankful for the new Lordco deep cycle battery I bought and installed . Despite the refrigerator running on it all night and the water pumps and lights , this morning there’s good charge left and the lights are bright. I’m glad for the generator and later when others are awake and about I’ll recharge the system. I’ve not been able to get the refrigerator running off the propane because there’s epithet a shut off valve I”ve not found or more likely air in the lines from not having been used in so long. All the other systems are functional. At Home Hardware I was helped by the gentleman salesman who came out and looked at the strut telling me there was a special tool that came with campers to manually raise and lower them. I found it in the cupboard and sure enough I was able to free the stuck strut on my own. What a relief. We’d bought the mugs and pot and extension cord I”d needed there. I love they are so friendly with dogs. Gilbert loves the lady who gives him a treat each time he come. Laura remembered the pot holders.
After we’d sat outside at Thomasina’s and had turkey pot pie a lattes . We checked the internet and I uploaded yesterdays musings. I’ve not got the pictures incorporated. I’m using the Apple I pad to write but haven’t figured how to reduce the pictures to add to the blog. To date I’ve been adding them to the editing on line whereas there is a way I can add them off line but the size is too large when they’re uplifted. These computer problems seem micro problems to the macro problems of moving this little house through space. I’m so happy to be here by the river. I’d thought of this place. I’d love to go to Chain lake again with the boat to go fishing. I’ve got the rod and some tackle from the Princeton Outdoor store. I’ve been visiting the couple that run that store for decades. I remember buying the layered cameo parka and pants from there and later the binoculars plus ammo and tackle. I like seeing the familiar faces wondering how long we’ll still be greeting each other , now I’m of an age when so many are retiring.
I remember Dad saying in his 90’s that all his friends, everyone but my brother and I that he’d known in his life had died. He’d made good friends from the services in the home but he grieved the passing of all those others , especially, mom. I remember looking through the old black and white albums with my now passed brother and the two of us not recognizing these friends of my mothers and fathers from before us. We were in later pictures as babies and toddlers but they were a couple that had obviously been friends for a decade or more in Toronto and been left behind when our family moved west.
I’ve been so blessed with friends. The best are those that make me a better person than I am.
I’m reading another Rimmer book of Rhodesia and South Africa. It’s such a moving history. The scourge of socialism and communism. The destruction of society and civilization. The families that carried on. The aspirations of the people and the trials. I love the writing and am sad to read of all the loss but the love affairs, marriages and children persist inspire of all the changes in the world over the decades of the novels. Rimmer is such a fine author.
Laura and I talked of travel. She’d been out for dinner with some older doctors, a couple who’d been avid world travellers and now think twice of venturing forth. It’s the breakdown of law and order. When young I probably should have feared more murder, theft and rape but now I do fear fights and kidnaping and theft. I’ve a hankering to see Egypt and Ethiopia. I want to follow up on the Coptic Christians. I imagine writing about the diaspora and spread of Christianity with the variations by region. I’ll be at the conference in India this coming spring and have a chance to follow up on St. Thomas. I’ll be happy too to see the Sikh and HIndu temples again. I like to pilgrimage to holy place and love to see my friends on Facebook following in the footsteps of the pilgrims of Europe. I’d love to travel there as well. Work still seems worth it, the sharing of knowledge, the solving of puzzles the usefulness and comraderie. I like my men’s meeting. I’m content here and imagine more expeditions to the local wilderness with truck and camper. Gilbert likes this the best so happy to be a part of road trips. He’s not up for flying and I have all the equipment.
Last night we boiled Yukon yellow potatoes and had them with salt and pepper and butter. So delicious with the great steaks I barbecued on the picnic table. Gilbert loved the tid bits and it really was a glorious repast. I imagine it’s time for another coffee. I sat and meditated for a bit and prayed. It’s warmer today and there’s some blue sky. The campers ahead of us have mountain bikes and a large tent. Two girls and two or three guys. Younger , in their thirties. Behind us are a couple of older couples our age in a large RV with lighted orbs around their area, a demarcation of territory. They built a great fire and sat about it last night. I’ve brought the wood from Chain Lake and we’ll have another fire.
I’ve not dared to take the camper off the truck fearing I’d not be able to get it back on . I figure I’ll unload it at the storage lot where the owner would be able to help me if I got into trouble. It’s lining up the truck to reload that has me a little concerned . More steep learning curves. I imagine I’ll need to get one of those folding trailers to haul the quad on for hunting season. They weren’t too expensive but I don’t know how I’ll have room for that. I keep considering a rack on the front of the truck for a motorcycle. But if I shot a moose how would I get it home. With Bill Mewhort we pulled a trailer and brought the moose home in that.
It’s Sunday. I would like to be thinking of God and singing holy holy holy in my mind but this is what goes on instead. I do chant. I do say the lord’s prayer many times a day, the serenity prayer, and ‘all shall be well’. I’m stressed at work but here the stress is dropping off, especially with the sound of the stream and the quiet of the sparse forest. I’m relaxed again. Slowing down. So much terror and hostility at work, so much bullying and threat and politicking petty marionettes abusing authority and power. So many liars and sociopaths. Here I’m alone with Laura and Gilbert. And God. Thank you Jesus. Thank you God of Gods. Hallelujah. Words of joy and praise. I would sail between molecules fly through the fabric of this energy matrix, a grand garden you have created for man. Thank you for the colours. Thank you for the scents. Thank you for the wind and breezes. I imagine I’ll bicycle and fish today but for now I’ll have another coffee and read more of Zimbabwe. There are lions and rhinos in that tail which is exotic to me but here there are great bear. Thankfully no snakes and scorpions but enough mosquitos for sure. It is temperate here now but the real test of this land is the winter and the snow. So little can live. In Africa they have heat and constant warmth with deadly life that has had millenial to develop defences. I enjoy the relative safety here. I know these wilds. I’m even feeling safe enough to walk about at night without a knife. That’s been a while. As a boy we ranged through these woods but even then I had a pocket knife. Man is the most dangerous of beasts. But I’m growing older and feel less capable of punching bear in the nose.
It is dry here. The grass brown and green. Above us there is a camp with a half dozen motorcyclists. That’s the modern horsemen. It’s definitely horse country here. I miss my motorcycle. I’ve ridden this area before having my honda 230 here one year. Time for another coffee . This really is a decadent luxurious way to camp. This may as well be a little cabin I move about. It’s so pleasant and self contained. Another coffee it is. 35 gallons of water and room for 9 gallons of waste. I filed up the water yesterday when I filled up with gas and we dumped the little bit of shower grey water. The black water will likely limit the time we can spend here except we do have outhouses. I used that this morning. Rationing and managing the available containers and fuels.
Another coffee will be good. Laura is asleep with Gilbert curled up beside her. God life is beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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