Resilience and Easter

I feel sometimes when I’m actively being punished by barbaric antiquated pre modern science systems of control and abuse that I become too ‘heavy’.  I teach that in life we should learn from motorcyclists. Driving down the freeway at high speed on my Harley Electroglide I learned that if I look at a pile of dog shit or maneur or radical leftist Canadian liberal policy I will indeed collide with the shit and get shit on my shiny motorcycle and leather armour.  Yet if I don’t keep my eyes open and my head out of the sand I won’t know who kicked me. So to navigate as motorcyclists we note the government obstacles, the ignorance and outrageously expensive counter productive policies but avoid them personally.  We see the shit and go to either side of the obstacle.  It’s been said that I personally persist in driving right down the centre of the road proverbially, politically and poetically.  In this far left country of Canada with our radically left government I feel as emotionally and mentally homeless as the increasing numbers of physically homeless.
Psychiatry Grand Rounds, Neuroscience of Resilience, 3.14.18, Psychiatry Grand Rounds by Noshene Ranjibar MD and Justin Otis, MD said the first and best response to trauma was relational, community and sharing and parasympathetic.  In contrast to the local medical administrative disdain for AA NA and Church the presenters celebrated the community and rituals that helped people deal with trauma in the healthiest way, utilizing the parasympathetic autonomic nervous system.  The second line defence most known was the sympathetic fight or flight response, the characteristic response elicited by the British Columbia and Canadian administration policies which are legalistic, paranoid, and 17th century pre scientific era, control and power based.   The third response was the basal ganglia, reptilian, ancient ’freeze’ response .
They were discussing ‘burn out’ and how they had addressed their problems with physician burn out. It was uplifting to hear all the advances in psychiatry being brought to the department and administration level.  Locally I’d been exposed to the junior low brow approaches to systemic problems best described as blame, shame and CYA administration. This is classic communist and totalitarian fear based ‘negotiation by intimidation’ also seen commonly with people drunk and stoned. The rise in marijuana use in government is certainly a contributing factor. Marijuana may removed the empathic capacity of the higher brain function.
 British Columbia is the epicentre of crime, drug trafficking and money laundering of Canada. It’s competitor is Montreal made famous by   Chabonneau Corruption Commission which showed the Mafia and Biker Gang influence on French Canadian governments. The Canadian Health Care System is descending as Canadian debt sky rockets.
Well in the midst of this I thought I’d just add a blog with the positive images of ’spring’. Because I work in a highly toxic environment in a divided country with failing health care system and roaring corruption and dishonesty, I am forever doing everything to cope.  My patients are desperate and maligned and ignored. They’re terrified and the future is very bleak for the elderly.  They’ve all been promised everything by the political system and the lies of media ,only to find that they are old and homeless and that third world people feel greater happiness.
 I sometimes want a holiday because all my time off  is “recovering’ from the George III insanity of governement dictates.  Every day colleagues take early retirement complaining of the administration and the government. 75% of doctors would not recommend medicine.
Internationally Canada is known now as the most offended nation in the universe.
Everyone collectively and individually is guilty of a social offence as laws and bureaucracy exponentially increase.
I prayer daily, meditate, write gratitudes, look on the bright side, celebrate crusaders like Jordan Peterson, JJ MacCullough,Diana Davison. I pray for willingness to forgive because I don’t seem to be forgiving as the bolts of negative energy and punishment just keep coming, I shut out thoughts of suicide knowing these creepy callous fat cat elites want this in their secret hearts and I refuse to identify with the aggressor. Too many good people have been killed by these cretans. I pray. I talk to other doctors but everyone I most admire, the greatest of the great are disgusted like I am . The evidence is overwhelming that the problem is systemic yet they continue to personalize it. I walk the dog, my little blind therap dog. I am writing gratitude lists daily while moving through the daily malaise, constant threats hanging over me, I look for ways to escape, hear all the thanks and appreciation of family and friends, feel empathy for the many who are subjected to the ptsd of unfeeling workplace of superiority and rabid arrogance. I resist the strokes and hear aches such covert evil induces. I stop and breathe and look at the spring. These people are sick I say. Pray for them. Thought block. They sold their soul to the company store long ago. Shut their contempt for those who are still at the front out of your mind. Go to church. Go to meetings. Share hugs. Focus on the good. Avoid the shit. There’s a wide open road. Head out on the highway.
Christ is crucified. Get down off the cross we can use the wood. Soon it will be Easter morning. The metaphor is there. This too will pass. Sun always rises. Christ is risen. We’ve seen worse. We will survive . We will thrive. There’s always the resilience.Holy Spirit Come. Lord Jesus Christ. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Be like Jesus. Let the light heal. Invite the Lord into your heart. Let go and let God. Wear life like a loose wrap. Smile and the world smiles with you. Hallelujah Christ is risen.

Company Doctors: Professionalism and Political Correctness

Historically, physicians among professionals have had the highest rating for trustworthiness and truthfulness.By contrast lawyers have been at the bottom of the heap.  Some actually say it’s sad that 90% of lawyers give the other 10% a bad name.  My old lawyer friend had insisted that this was  a product of the rise in social legislation that followed Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau’s reign.  My friend, an  old man, had  practiced law in Scotland before coming to Canada.

“I was proud to be a lawyer. It was a very honoured profession in my youth. Today I sometimes feel it’s just because of the money lawyers are perceived so negatively. I did well enough but if money was the sole criteria I’d not be thought as good a lawyer as some of my colleagues who sought celebrity and seemed only interested in the fame and fortune.  When I became a professional I saw it as a duty and service and frankly most of my colleagues saw it as that too.  We were there to serve people. Our independence and autonomy as professionals allowed us to protect our clients from governments and corporations alike.”

It wasn’t long after I heard him say that, that  a lawyer at my church told me “I think you can still can be a lawyer and a Christian in Canada but I no longer think you can be a Christian and a Corporate lawyer in Montreal.”

I can say the same is increasingly  true for doctors.  The lowest slur a doctor could make against another was to call him a “company doctor”. 

The ‘company doctor’ reached it’s a nadir during the years of the asbestos mining.  Miners were coughing up blood and dying all the while the doctors hired by the company and were paid exorbitantly essentially to lie and insist the problem wasn’t the  asbestos at all.  The miner instead, in classic ‘blame the victim’ was told he had ‘weak lungs’. It became the  great scandal of the era exposing corrupt courts, government, corporations and the doctors involved..  Science eventually prevailed as today we know and diagnose “asbestos lungs’. 

It should be understood that a doctor may give his opinion in court ,which remains a 19th century rationalist construct and sees the world in black and white as opposed to the multi factorial quantum universe considerations of 21st century rainbow science.  The ridiculousnesss of such ‘opinions’ was highlighted best by the farce of the OJ Trial with all its dream team and ignorance of DNA. 75% of the fruitfly DNA is the same as Human DNA. 

In British Columbia “Moynihan’s Law’  was enacted essentially to reign in the competing claims of ‘expert witnesses”.  Moynihans’s Law insisted that expert opinions be predominantly objective and serve the judge not the solely the lawyers paying them.  Some of the insurance company expert witnesses were paid so exorbitantly as to make the ‘company doctors’ of the asbestos mine era look like altar boys.   Tragically I was obliged to teach a judge the history of this in recent years, as he appeared to have missed out on the insanity of the courts that required a specific new “Moynihans’s law” to reign in the ‘expert testimony ‘ of competing factions.  Perjury laws have always existed but do appear to be rarely used as increasingly the courts move away from the ‘truth’ standard of old.  “The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” is no longer associated with the modern court but rather remembered as a line from the Perry Mason era. 

The judge appeared unaware of Dr. Jay Lifton’s seminal book, the “Nazi Doctors” which addressed the whole issue of the ‘company’ or ‘government doctor’ in exquisite horrifying detail.  

It should not reflect badly on this judge because we’re collectively seeing this phenomena today  in the ‘fake news’ . The media was once constrained by the idea of ‘fact’ but today has  lost all track of the very notion of  ‘objective’ and now sells ‘facts’ as ‘opinions’ to the highest bidder.  Judges, themselves, have historically been considered’ corrupt’ as their opinions have been on occasion bought as readily as world soccer players.  The remaining issue today ,as Canadian culture devolves into multiculturalism,  increasingly,  is not whether someone will sell out their integrity but at how low a price.

Around  the world in other jurisdictions and cultures the issue is not whether to bribe the official ther how little one can give without insulting   government representative. The whole idea of the ‘tip’ which once was only an issue in hotels and restaurants is the very basis of business and law in`many countries.  

The next worst ‘slur’a doctor could have against him was that he was a ‘pharmaceutical company doctor’. Some pharmaceutical companies hired doctors to promote their medications and rewarded those who ‘sold’ medications by down playing or denying risks while celebrating success.  I was hired only a couple of times by one drug company to give talks to family physicians about new produce.  I was subsequently   told by  that company that  I was ‘too objective’ and hadn’t ‘sold’ enough of  the product. . I took that a compliment but it caused me to look askance at some of my colleagues who took pride in being consider ‘trendsetters’ by some in the pharmaceutical industry. They considered it a compliment to be called ‘drug pushers for the multinationals’ and paraded their academic and financials rewards with gusto.   “Unhinged: the Trouble with Psychiatry” by Dr. Daniel Carlat discusses this problem in depth. 

It became so egregious an issue in medicine  that physicians in academic settings and journals are collectively now required to give notice of their ‘conflicts of intererst’.   At the beginning of a lecture a doctor is required to put up a slide indicating which drug companies or businesses had paid him for this lecture or his research in this area.  

Unfortunately the licensing bodies for professions, in general, like the Colleges of Physicians and Surgeons, have not as yet had such a renaissance. The conflicts of interest that influence hiring, appointments,committe membership of non professionals,  their  political and fashionable decisions remain darkly opaque.

  

This practice has been in place for decades and naturally doctors wish that politicians and bureaurats would be required to do the same housekeeping regarding ‘conflicts of interest” and ‘lobby groups.” The partisanship of bureaucrats is a huge problem since they are required to be 'objective' but increasingly in Canada it has been exposed that government bureaucrats are Liberal biased.  To avoid this in many countries and eras the whole government apparatus was overturned and replaced by the followers of the winning party.

Given the scandals  over the foreign influence on Hillary Clinton and Justin Trudeau by Islamic countries and the alleged influence on Trump by Russia , politics seems mired like the media and courts outside the promises of the 21st century.  Escobar, the great drug lord used to brag that he had bought both the Republicans and the Democrats, hedging his bets, not that that did him much good in the long run. 

Doctors addressed this issue of autonomy first in the Hippocratic Oath of Ancient Greece.  I’ve taken the revitalized Hippocratic Oath of today since the ethical and moral foundations of professionalism have been increasingly eroded by government intrusion. The ‘do no harm’ clause is all but obsolete now  the ‘abortion industry” and recently  ‘euthanasia industry’ have completely won over the prevailing  government and their bureaucrats so reminiscent of the 'banal' of Arendt's writings.   Further, the various ‘codes’ of doctors in the western world were influenced by the “sanctity of life’ premise  inherent in Christian religion which inherited and refined the Judeo Graeco Roman traditions from which Western Civilization arose.  Other cultures have not had this notion of ‘sanctity of life’.

Further the ideas of where on the continuum the doctor sits regarding the collective and the individual are wholly different than what most Canadians assume.  Also the 'accountability' of the doctor in different countries is wholly different from the local ever changing responsibility of the doctor and indeed the health care system. This was never better reviewed than the greatest scandal of hospital administration of our time, the finding of the man dead for 36 hours in the Canadian teaching hospital and the abdication of accountability of administration.

There is also distinctly different ideas of cause and effect and accountability in eastern and western 'culture' which affect the very practice of medicine by doctors depending on training and background.

It was no surprise that Dr. Kellie Leitch, a brilliant physician and accomplished paediatric surgeon, should spearhead the importance of 'Canadian values' in this time when the dope smoking pretty haired selfie snapping Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was insisting there was no 'Canadian culture' and hence no 'Canadian values'.  Ironically he also said that Quebec French  speaking Prime Ministers were superior to English speaking Prime Ministers when his basic premise was that there was no such thing as a Canadian ‘culture’. While denying Canada 'culture' and denying Canadian 'values'  he insisted on the superiority of the French speaking. 

The word ‘culture’ derived from the Latin word ‘cultus’, ‘to care’ and from the French word to ‘cultivate’ or to ‘fill the ground’.  Well no one in their right mind would doubt that Dr. Leitch cares or is a highly cultivated individual who has done a lion’s share of work, there continues to be complaints about PM Justin Trudeau, simply not caring about Canada, and not by his personal history having much to do with cultivation and work.  Unfortunately Dr. Leitch’s insightfulness flew over the stoned heads of easily offended young followers of the Prime Minister. 

The ‘private’ physician retained their autonomy and worked for the patient just as the lawyer and accountant and engineer primarily served their client.  Historically the true ‘statesman’ served the country as a whole not the entrenched interests of corporations like Bombadier or the  urbans tastes of Montreal female voters.  

The ‘business’ of profession however always was tied to the idea of ‘he who pays the piper calls the tune’.  As the “private” physician was working directly for the patient even though an insurance company might well be paying the bill, the doctor’s greatest concern was the ‘patient’s health’.  This was before the Hydra of  Cultural Marxism's weaponized political correctness redefined 'health' like the 'renaming' of 'gender" as something other than the ‘morbidity and mortality’ of science.   

Today the ‘insurance doctor’ is the next greatest ‘slur’ that can be made against a doctor.  It’s a bit wrong as there clearly are good and bad insurance companies. But clearly if the patient becomes sick and unable to work and provide insurance payments it’s in the interest of the insurance company to ‘de list’ that member as they are no longer a viable ‘client’.  Further, the worst insurance companies use and abuse the courts to offer the least inclusive definition of health and spend fortunes on lawyers fighting claims. 

Canada is a single party insurance scheme so that the ‘government doctor’ and the ‘insurance doctor’ ‘slurs’ can overlap.  Historically in public and private endeavours there was this area where the public need for finance existed because of the size and ‘risk’ of the project and in areas where there was no likelihood of profit but that as a society we collectively saw a need to care for others in a way private sources could not afford to.  

Our present government appears to be giving billions to foreign countries while not caring for it’s own sick and old.  The sick and old and those who suffer catastrophic  injuries were the principle reason for development of the Canadian Health Care system.  Tommy Douglas and those who were  principally Christian doctors of the  Saskatchewan model would obviously roll over in their graves  if they were to see the actions of the ‘company doctors’ and ‘government doctors’ of today.  Government spending today,  is to those early men and women of Canada,  a total corruption of the ideals of Canadian traditions.  Not surprisingly, Liberals get around this by indeed,   denying Canadian culture or tradition.

The highest paid doctors today are government doctors  and cosmetic surgeons while the front line workers in all fields are policed to no end and treated as the enemy by their superiors because they have been given the unenviable task of ‘rationing health care’ while the government doctors and political doctors make endless promises that are simply impossible to meet.

Professionals say that there is no ‘autonomy’ or ‘profession’ any more because the structure of our present centralized communist leaning government which is totalitarian authoritarian and diametrically opposed to the freedom of the individual and wholly supportive of the ‘collective’.   Indeed many professionals have considered that the ‘unions’ which developed in a much more hostile relationship to government may be the answer to the failing health care system.  Some doctors have approached the Teamsters feeling the whole idea of ‘profession’ is defunct in face of government corruption and the cancerous growth of the government burocracy to the detriment of professions and their clients.  

Canada has a history of having had a purely ‘government socialist based’ health care system which was associated with the worst morbidity and mortality statistics in the Canada. This was the Indian Affairs government health care system which is now being used as a "model" for all of Canada despite is at times horrendous failures.  

Given that immigrant doctors increasingly come from countries which do not share  Canadian ‘values’ of ‘sanctity of life’ , the importance of the individual, freedom, and libertarianism and other such ‘pesky’ ideas it is increasingly no surprise that the government calls’ physicians’ not by their ‘professional designation’ but increasingly as ‘health care workers’ as a collective job title. Ethically there fore in the government eyes they have no difference from the cleaning staff in the hospitals.  

It concerns me as the corruption of government and media and the refusal of the courts to move forward that doctors medical professionalism is now defined solely by ‘company doctors’ and dominated by ‘conflicts of interest’ that soon it will be said of doctors that 90% give the 10% a bad name.  It is no surprise that 75 % of Canadian doctors would not recommend medicine at present in Canada. 

As a dinosaur doctor I am increasingly concerned about health care not as much as a provider but because I might well need services and can see from the desperate experiences of my patients that they are utterly frustrated, dissatisfied, and wholly crippled by the government callousness, Naturally their opinions never appear in the government propaganda media or are always attributed to the doctors and nurses rather than the top heavy administration.  They express repeatedly concerns about  inefficiency and corruption the feeling that their basic needs and values are not being met.

A company doctor explained to me that I ‘cared too much’ and must ‘lower my standards’ as well as ‘learn to lie’ as he did for he enjoyed greatly his well rewarded government company doctor lifestyle.  I personally have to consider every day whether I want to continue as a ‘company doctor’ or if I should, like the other dinosaurs of my era retire early and accept that Christians, godly people in general,  moral people and all the doctors of old, especially my most esteemed mentors, and Tommy Douglas, a politically incorrect Baptist minister, are all  no longer welcome in Canada.  Insurance company models also routinely reward the physicians who do the least for the patient and save the government the most money.

This was a 'joke' of my surgical training where heart surgeons and lung surgeons would compete among themselves as to who could use the least 'thread' as the administration had a fashion of the month campaign to get the surgeons to save money in the operations.  At the time I thought it was something out of MASH where no show better defined the oxymoron on 'military intelligence". Yet the surgeons explained that the administrators were more concerned with their budgets than the lives of the patients. Indeed I caused myself no end of difficulty complaining that a small town administrator had robbed the hospital budget for a baby incubator so that he could have a new desk and chair with better wood panelling.  

I do envy the migrants who routinely return to their ‘homes’ whereas I personally feel my own home and profession have been destroyed.  This feeling has grown strongest since  I was told that  Dr. William Osler is no longer considered a ‘professional’. Clearly Dr. Osler is no longer welcome in Canada and  should never  apply to work here.

Jesus, the greatest healer of all time, would not be welcomed  either.  Jesus  was vulgar, kept the wrong company,  swore and behaved badly, the epitome of a politically incorrect individual.  Politically correctness and professionalism were once diametrically opposed.  Today a doctor kills or heals as the prevailing mood dictates. It’s just fashion.  Medicine is theatre.  The Kardashian’s are the new models of medicine.    

Gratitude Tuesday

Thank you Lord for this day. 

Thank you for waking me.

Thank you for the warm body of my little dog curled close beside me.

Thank you for the nuisance cat that loves the dog so is okay

Thank you for the morning. I so enjoyed watching the darkness become light

Thank you for eyes and reading and internet and iPad

Thank you for the furnace and heat, this home, the refrigerator, the stove and coffee

Thank you for the boiled eggs I made this week and the one that was waiting for me this morning

Thank you for work and a place to go and service and duty and all of the blessings of community.

Protect me from the bullying and ravages of the cancerous burocracy and the out of control government

Protect me from the corruption in government and burocracy

Protect me from the petty and arrogant and conceited and especially the ideologues who are so full of hate

Protect me from those who call themselves activists who are but todays new form of agitators.

Protect me from Jihadists and violence. 

Protect me most from the perjurer and those who bear false witness , the liars 

And those who enable them and use them to destroy society and health care 

Protect me from the intrusion of the paranoid mind of those in state , the ones who spy on everything

Protect me from the corporate businessmen who have no ethics not like their brethren who are still human.

Protect me from those bankers who are like the Goldman Sacks and Fanny May sociopaths

Protect from the corrupt in the elite

Help those in leadership who continue to fight for freedom against the evil tyranny of the Trudeau dynasty

Restore us to a democracy and remove all the appointed thugs who worship the UN and Agenda 21

Free us from these diabolical immigrants who would impose sharia law on Canadians collectively

Protect our Christian communities and the secular communities especially from the Aetheists, the godless destroyers

Celebrate with us the joys of community and fellowship and let us all work and share together 

Without the intrusion and war monger ing of the divide and conquer leftist government

Let us become central as a country again and counteract this lean so far to the left with all the communist dictators

Help us be a nation of workers and celebrate family and friendships of those who actually get out each day

Protect us from the propaganda of television and facebook

Thank you Lord for my mobility. Thank you for my breathing. Thank you for my sleep.

Thank you for the vehicles I have to escape with

Thank you Lord for introducing me to the trauma of abuse of power and dishonesty and theft and rape and physical assault

So that I can appreciate the lies of the government bullies who perpetuate these crimes and protect those among them

Who rape and bully and steal. 

Make this world a heaven on earth Lord.

Help those who choose the death of drugs and alcohol come alive again and return like prodigal sons and daughters.

Thank you Lord for AA meetings, Churches, Synagogues, Temples, Community clubs and Kiwanis, and Masons, Odd Fellows

Thank you for Toast masters and the Game and Fish Associations

Thank you for the gun ranges and the gyms and the swimming pools and the hot tubs

Thank you for karma Lord and let me forget those who schemed to destroy me with their lies and false witness 

And their deceitful testimonies and words and those who celebrate sociopaths and get behind the liars and give them teeth.

Thank you for retribution. I have been vindicated every time for my honesty and good work and look forward to this again

Not so much as vengeance but to know that when there is no justice in the courts of this land there is a greater justice still

I trust that you will protect me and others from the liars and deceivers.

Protect me from those who say ‘my truth’ and claim that ‘truth’ is only relative, denying gravity and air and biology and chemistry and physics,.

Protect us from the false teachings of the university today where silly intellectuals and false philosophers claim ‘deconstruction’ 

And ‘constructionism’ but themselves can’t perform miracles or part the seas or walk on water and lives lives encased in their stupidity and arrogance

Please Lord be with me in all my endeavours.

I know Christ Lord. I know you are the One. I know that you are the Way the Truth and the Light. I know that Many are called but few follow

Let me be a follower but I don’t want to be crucified or to be sacrificed any more in the courts of today’s Herods and Neros

I grow weary of their thrones and smug arrogance and their belief that they know it all when they only have a peephole on reality.

Please Lord protect me from the criminal drivers of Vancouver who stoned on BC Bud with lung conditions and brain disorders from too much pot and alcohol text while they drive and hit other cars so their lawyer friends can quickly launch a law suit giving the lawyers who really do help a bad name.

Please lord get rid of the ambulance chasers and the social justice warriors and the vagina hatters hysterics and the lying white girls who hope to play both sides against the middle, lipstick limousines feminists waving their booties for stupid rich men to be caught and serve them in the ‘industry of feminism’.  That’s the big bucks that needs to be addressed Lord. Those who are rallying everyone with the sole purpose of a godless Marxist agenda, that twisted bizarro Jewish kafetch thinker who claimed to have turned Hegel on his head and wanted only to be the king himself, a petty tyrant, angry at the world and mostly at his wife.  Please Lord if it were possible I’d never hear again that ‘offended by everything” ‘oppressed by everyone” ‘funny dog imperialist’  propaganda that permeates the killing fields the world over. Please lord remove that evil and let me once again hear the songs of birds and children’s laughter. 

Help me rise above my own pain and misery. Help me to see all the blessings that are there for me and so many others. Help me to focus on what I have and not what I don’t . Help me to overcome envy and jealousy and shame and rise above the limits of ego to see as you see. Let me be more spiritual today.

Thank you for the struggles with myself to be a better person.  Thank you for the learning. Thank you for the antidote to self pity, all the love I know. Thank you for friends and family. Thank you for the Holy Bible. Thank you for the holy books. Thank you for inspiration. Thank you for spring. Thank you for sunshine. Thank you for laughter and smiles. Thank you for good news and thank you for all those who struggle against the increasing police state of Canada where freedoms are daily eroded by the monsters in Victoria and Ottawa.  Help protect us all from their appointed apparatchiks and their committee of cronies who share their diabolical ideologies , some kind of left over plague from the 20th century. Help us go forward into the 21st century celebrating individualism and creativity and respecting the breadths of society not just the small minded ideas of the Trudeau set with their tax paid gifts to terrorists and Johadists and terrorists and their constant holidays and evasion of work .  Help us know the fullness of life.

Help me rise above the division of politics and see the joy of the centre I have known all my life so have bullet and stab wounds all over my body from the liars and bullies of either side, the extremists in burocratic power today undermining all the work of Canadians and British and American and Romans and Greeks and all those who contributed most to civilization. Let us move beyond the tyrant of the UN with it’s arms dealers and pedophilai and sex trade slavery. Help us to have some Canadian values not the low life of the perverted Trudeau family with it’s sex scandals and drugs and utter swaggering pompous arrogance. 

Help deal with the criminals in high place in Vancouver and British Columbia. Please bring down all those who promote lies and false witness and encourage the perjury and sociopaths that have turned the once fine courts from truth to a place where money launderers and lying dishonourable women are used as weapons against the good and true

Please Lord help me to see your wisdom. Thank you for all your blessings and help me today to focus on gratitude and overcome my fear and worry about the future and the waste of resources as our governments destroy our resources and people and scare everyone away except their own bottom feeding criminal kind.  Let there be revival and bring back truth and honesty to this country of dark lies and crime.

Protect me today Lord.

Christ above me, Christ behind me. Christ in front of me. Christ beside me. Christ in side me Christ in all those who I meet today., Christ everywhere today Lord. Let me focus on the light lord. Help me to look to the positive and to the love. Help me have hope despite the ravages of those in committees who hide behind their self intestestg and celebrate the lies and deceit of female sociopaths and those who bear false witness and use the victims of their own designs to justify their evil behaviour claiming to do good when their motives are the darkest of all and they are so fallen to think they’re so clever getting away with their destruction and pillage by deceit and bullying

Help me Lord over come this feeling of humiliation and despair and lack of hope for Canada or Vancouver or BC as I’ve been so exposed to the lie and corruption of our government here and it’s celebration of the sociopaths who bear false witness and those who use such lies to steal and rape and kill.  Please Lord bring down the slavers and the drug dealers and those who money launder in our casinos and banks and make the judges less susceptible to the seduction that has caused them to fall.  Help those good judges to raise up or weed out those evils judges who celebrate deceit and perjury and allow the criminal lawyers to thrive with the criminals and please Lord stand up to those evil doers.

Help me focus on healing Lord. Stop taking me from my work to save lives to be fighting to protect my back from the back staggers who just use the health care system for their own personal profit and destroy all who tell the truth. Help me to stand up to the liars and deceivers and their burocratic bullies who reward false witness and deceit.

Help me Lord to have the courage to go to work where I face guns and feel less worried by those who brandish guns and knives and the big men who punch and kick me as the deceitful manipulative little girls who lie and bring a bullying government burocracy to back their theft and deceit where they betray other women and call them whores when it is they who are whores.  But who cares about sex when it’s all about money and the bullies that they are their helpers are just thieves and bandits lying.

Please Lord let’s me let go and let god. Help me to trust you and your protection. Help me after of life of service get the strength another day and go out knowing that there is no protection for us in this world from the government bullies and their designatived victims and the lies and hate that they throw down upon us who would just like a space to work and heal and not be constantly looking over our back at the millions upon millions of thieves who themselves won’t go to the front line but will shoot and stab us who are doing the work and claim that their back stabbing is the reason healing has occurred when indeed the world would be a wonderful place if it weren’t for the cancer of government corruption.  

Please Lord find and remove those on that committee who could not tell right from wrong and celebrated Eva Brawn and Hitler. Please Lord let them know the consequence of their banal decisions. Help them to see the evil that their incompetence does when they support false witness and evil motives.  

Please Lord help me to focus on the small things, the flowers, the dog the cat, the little ones. Help; me to get dressed and go out there edespite knowing the corruption of this government and that’s we who do good and tell truth will find no protection or support from these drug addicted drunken enablers and their cronies.  Help me Lord to go to work today. Help me over come the fear of going out knowing that millions have done their duty despite Fascist and Communist governments and corrupt buroceracies.  Let me do my part today.

Please protect me . I beg divine protection today because I have lost all hope in the likes of Canada’s government the Trudeau thinking adn those who support false testimony and especially those racists who hate the white man and the ageist was who hate the old man and the sexists who hate the man and their infiltration of burocracy and courts and government, this small core of dedicated Bolshevist bullies with their love of money and power and their saddism and love of lies.

Please Lord help me today.

Thank you.  Cleanse my mind. Holy Spirit Come. Thank you. Help me to day to focus on gratitude.  Free me Lord. 

Porta Bote on Buntzen Lake, BC , St. Patrick’s Day

I had the perfect Kevlar canoe from Western Canoe and Kayak on Salton Road Abbotsford BC. The problem became storage. It simply took up too much room in my storage locker.

As well, last year when I was carrying it on my shoulders a young kid offered to help me. My first thought was, ‘do you know I white water canoed all my childhood and youth. Do you know I did the mighty Winnipeg River. Do you know Ive portaged miles from lake to lake in Northern Manitoba and Northern Ontario?” What I did say though  was “thank you, thank you.”  Profusely. 

 I was staggering down  a hill through trees and and bushes over uneven ground and rocks and boulders thinking I’d been a couple of years younger since I’d last done this.  Somehow the canoe had become heavier. It was probably one of the largest ones WC &K had. I’d envisioned bringing moose I’d shot out of woods with it. I did catch  one fish with it  and shot one duck with it’s help.   It did provide evenings and days of enjoyable lake canoeing, never saw white water or streams and lived a good life.  We’re it not for the storage issue I’d have never parted from it.

I also have to admit, I’m getting older. I ‘m lightening up and  scaling down.  I have an inflatable on my sailboat and an inflatable kayak I’ve used maybe once.  I sent my AB hard bottomed with 20 hp honda down to Hay Bay for the nephews to use. The sailboat GIRI is on land waiting another expedition. .  I have a 2.5 hp Honda engine and an electric.   I was looking through the internet for storage  solutions and discovered the  Porta Bote.  

A folding boat. Really.  What a novel idea!

Next one appeared synchronistically on the side of RV near by.  It was taunting me.   Another great idea. Lock it to the side of the RV for storage . I’d only thought it would fit flat in the storage locker. Now I liked that it could be mounted on the RV ready for use.   It looks just like a surf board and not  much wider.  A few inches altogether. There’s a 10 foot and and 8 foot and one bigger. 

It was at the BC Sportsman Show. Maple Marine Services of Langley, 20693 Langley Bypass, a few blocks from the centre of town, is the distributor.  They had a booth at the BC Sportsman Show at Abbotsford Tradex. I’d spoken to them at the Vancouver Boat Show but they hadn’t brought one there. I wanted to see and lift one.  I was afraid they’d be too heavy but they’re manageable. They also come with wheels which is how I had transported my ocean going folding kayak.  I just have to order the wheels. The paddles and seats came with it.  

At Maple Marine, the staff were great.  “If you’re using it mostly for yourself and the dog and maybe one other , then the 8 foot is fine. But if you’re using it with another person and the dog or maybe even want to ferry three people, then the 10 foot is the way to go. It’s also our most popular size”. 

I got the 10 foot one. The Maple Marine staff  loaded it on my Mini Cooper S.  The greens matched colour.  Very fashionable. 

I  texted my friend Kevin about all the good deals on aluminum fishing boats they had at Maple Marine. His wife Anna and the kids are great fisher folk.  A good place to buy gear, small enough to be personal but big enough to have lots of great stock.

Eric, from Star Fleet RV, mounted the brackets for the Porta Bote through my RV side ensuring it wouldn’t be going anywhere soon. Eric does amazing work.

Laura was indispensable.  I’ve been “aware” of my back this last couple of months, usually a psychic

indication that government is somehow stabbing me in the back. Probably the consequence of carbon taxes or sociopaths bearing false witness.  Laura isn’t judgemental having injured her back once.  She kindly helped me carry the Porta Bote to my truck. I can lift alone  but we had to  maneuver around picnic tables and bushes and it was  just so much easier to ask for helped.   Also a woman looks darn sexy carrying the front end of any boat.    I will get the wheels for future now that I know how easily it will assemble beside the truck and can be wheeled to the water from anywhere near then.

At Buntzen Lake I unloaded the boat  and  Laura and I carried it to the water’s edge.  Laura read the excellent instructions showing me the pictures as I put it together. I’d seen an excellent video which showed it could be put together in 15 minutes. It took me a little over 30 minutes. It’s going to be faster now that I know what to expect.  

I pushed it into the lake for the inaugural immersion. I’d forgotten the champagne bottle to break across the bow.   I used a cut up water bottle as a bailer though. . I didn’t need to use it .  The boat remained dry as a bone. No leaks.  Smooth rowing. Moves like a skiff. Lots of maneuverability. Really comfortable. 

Laura is not by nature intrepid these days. .  She has all manner of laurels for just  hanging out with me.    She did motorcycle as a kid but traded her motorcycle in for a washing machine when she had her first child. Gilbert’s blind and he’d rather stay with her than  adventure with me.  He acts like he’s protecting her.   I convinced them both to join me though. A kindly gentleman who like several others had admired the boat now came to  hold the bow  at the dock so the dog could jump down on the seat and Laura could step down after. 

 “I don’t want to go out any further. Just around here.”

“Alright, I’ll just row us about close to shore.” 

Gilbert was delighted with the boat. He’s had to deal with squishy inflatables and tippy canoes so this stable sturdy little boat  was all a dog could want. He preferred my big sailboat but has been in every boat with me since he was a puppy 8 years ago. Now he’s a blind dog and I could tell he really liked this boat.   I rowed and Laura relaxed.  Gilbert was in dog heaven.

I began singing “Michael row the boat ashore” and Laura laughed. 

After a while I brought us ashore.  Boats must be off Buntzen Lake by 630 pm.   The park closes at 7 pm.  The Porta Bote  is just skookum.

It was really easy to take apart, 10 minutes max,  to fold it down. Laura helped me carry it back to the truck.  The three seats that give it it’s sturdiness  stowed easily in the back seat of the Ford F-350
Lariat.    

Driving out of the park we picked up an ice cream bar.   Both of us agreed, what  fun the afternoon
had been.

The next outing I’ll take the electric motor.  Buntzen Lake only allows electric. I charged my marine battery and tested the electric motor that night and amazingly the thing still runs.   I’m excited now to get out on the lake with a motor and the dog. I may even catch some trout trolling or casting.

I like too that the British Everest Expeditionary group carried the Porta Bote up Everest to cross a lake high up that famous mountain to shorten the distance of their overall climb. Not that I plan to climb Everest.  It’s just  nice to know I’m geared up for it:)

Evil Phobia

The word evil like the word sin has got a bad rap from the pseudo scientific atheists masquerading as secularists.
The trend isn’t new and hopefully will burst soon like the  pimple on progress it is.
The liberal arts crowd took Darwin’s ‘survival of the fittest’ and created the  “Social Darwinism” insisting those with the most toys wins.  Very Marxian in it’s own way.  Rather reductionist and wholly unscientific.
The Darwinian hypothesis still devolving hasn’t bridged the lack of inter species evidence.  It’s defenders argue now that it’s influence can be seen at the ‘genetic level’ becoming more and more a ‘matter of faith’ than any religion before it. The trouble is ‘mutation’ and it’s tendency to die.  Difficult when a whole science is underpinned by something so, well,  fragile.  Not at all robust.  
Owen Barfields treatise on ‘saving the appearances” and the Structure of Scientific Revolutions by Thomas Kuhn are worthy explanations of these injudicious times. We are living in what the the Asians described as a period for  equal opportunity for success or failure. In other words, chaos.
Similarly language imperialism is rampant.  The internet fans the flames such that superficial or shallow knowledge of a word or ‘meme’  is more important than the in depth understanding that once made the Oxford dictionary so desirable. Today words like ‘gay’ or ‘Snowflake’ or ‘conservative’ or ‘progressive’ are changing so fast that today’s professive is really regressive and snowflakes are indeed the hot item.
Yet evil remains, quite unadulterated. .  Bad has fallen to the relative truth group.  Bad is good. But not evil. Why is that?
Sin is another word that remains off the record. The modern media doesn’t want to consider sin but will embrace ‘fake’ news.
Today, statements about morality and evil are tied  to ideas like  ‘the winner writes history’ and the ‘ends justifies the means’.  One would not expect a book like Persig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance to sell today. Yet “50 shades of Grey” is the most popular female book of today even if it is porn.  
Even  pedophilia which at very least is unhealthy for one is being considered byh the new world order of globalism, in which pedophiles argue they are the ‘oppressed’.   PM Justin Trudeau just changed to age of consent? for ‘beastiality’.
What is ‘verboten” today?
‘Everything goes.” “If it feels good, do it”.  Yet a day doesn’t go by that that a new diet is conceived and everything has become ‘unhealthy’.
What is evil?
The greatest evil historically was ‘pride’ . Humility was a sense of the ‘right size’ of oneself.  Pride goest before a fall.  But if as PM Justin Trudeau says, if you kill your enemy, he wins, then clearly pride, such as his selfie addiction is alright.  Nothing really is wrong.  Unfashionable, perhaps but not ‘wrong wrong”.
But what is evil?  Historically it was consider ‘unhealthy’.
Since we all die everything we do can be considered unhealthy.  Healthy historically stood for the quantity and quality of life. But Andy Warhol said everyone deserved their 15 minutes of fame.  But as the physician is now not just the handmaiden of life but also of death, euthanasia being big bucks,  the Hippocrates Oath is out.
So what is evil?
Once there was the idea of evolution and devolution.  Once there was an idea of a heaven and a hell.  Once there was an idea of good and evil.
Today if there is no evil there is no good, surely.
So what of evil.  What of sin.  Best we not talk of them.  They might well be construed as ‘hate’ speech.  
What is evil?
Some would say its Satan acting anonymously but that would be a personification besides which we know that perception is as much as what is inside as outside.
Wouldn’t such a person who talks about Evil negatively be “Evil Phobic.”
So sad.

The Social Terrorism of "I'm concerned" COMPLAINTs, Anonymity and False Accusation

Increasingly in Canada bureaucrats have extraordinary powers and are involved in every aspects of peoples existence.  Unfortunately they are commonly poorly trained, woefully inexperienced and no longer the ‘service’ of yesteryear but now the unionized ‘fat cat’ elites with security, power, benefits and pension. They are attracted less by duty and charity and more by money and petty power and most importantly the lack of accountability that government extends to it’s ‘loyal’ servants.
I just heard of several more ‘I’m concerned’ complaints.  In all cases a passive aggressive sociopath called an agency ‘anonymously’ and advised that agency that they were ‘concerned’ . The ‘concerned’ citizens, once an asset to the community, are now the root of its destruction .They are increasingly just a ‘jail house snitch’ with an agenda.  
Without disclosing details that would expose the individuals these are the three scenarios that I learned of this week.  I’ve encountered these hundreds of times in the past most commonly when I worked on drunken “wet” northern Indian reserves and also in the DTES  urban ghetto. This has however  now  migrated to middle class society and beyond.
A professional “fired" an employee and the employee contacted the licensing body for the professional claiming that they were ‘concerned’ about that professional’s judgement and mental health.  I presumed they learned this ‘technique’ of vengefulness watching the continued caricature of this which has polluted the American political arena.
President Trump having survived countless attacks on his sanity, character, and ability to lead most recently passed ‘dementia’ tests.
A group of the most unprofessional psychiatrists in history came forward and without ‘permission’ or ‘having examined’ the patient proceeded to suggest the President was mentally ill solely because he was a Republican and they were Democrat psychiatrists.  Further  his policy changes would affect their ‘fat cat’ bureaucratic positions.  They indeed expressed their ‘concern’ and presented themselves as ‘helping’.
Meanwhile there has been a non partisan military mechanism in place for assessment and monitoring of the ‘commander in chief’. These “appointed” doctors and psychiatrists are there to serve as a ‘check and balance’.  The group of arrogant psychiatrists had no right to abuse their positions and over ride the democratic institutions. Yet these low brow thugs justified’ their ‘political assault’ on the President and democracy by claiming they were ‘concerned’. The fact is they were self serving narcissists of the lowest common denominator. These  bullies and social terrorists were quite willing to destroy the democracy, the impartiality of psychiatry,, and it’s institutions for their own personal gain. All the while they hid behind the increasingly creepy clown mask of the ‘concerned’ do gooder.
The professional in this case was suddenly ‘assessed’ by a mental health ‘team’ based on the ‘anonymous tip'. The process in the end costs thousands of dollars and was extremely frightening and abusive.  The professional felt that they were in a Communist/Fascist police state and that any ‘enemy’ could on the basis of their ‘allegation’ bring the full power of the government against the individual. Though vindicated , that individual, was denied being told who initiated the vicious attack The anonymous swaggering “concerned”  aggressor  by contrast would be rewarded with the knowledge that through  a phone call or a letter or a visit to the government office they could wield such power and destruction without any cost to themselves.    In this individual instance, they might have stayed anonymous if they hadn’t chosen to expose themselves to gloat.
I have had patients by the dozens brag about their doing this to their enemies. Mostly it’s been women fighting with other women and calling some Child Protection Agency to claim that they were “concerned”  about the ‘child’ of their sworn enemy.  This was indeed nature of the second case  I heard of this week.
A false accusation was made anonymously and this triggered  a public investigation of the husband ,wife, and children with neighbours and teachers being questioned. This occurred after the individual attacked refused to let their neighbour use their garage. The neighbour had drug addiction and increasingly has felt entitled to the property of neighbours. When  neighbours refused to loan tools or allow party cars to park on their lawns,  each one had been ‘punished’ in some such “concerned” way.  The trauma to the victims is not negligible especially as the children’s teachers are questioned and the ‘suggestion’ is always left ‘where there is smoke there is fire’.  Those without character are always happy to attack those with character.
The last one I heard about this week was regarding a dispute between two drivers about ‘territory’.  The aggressor wanted more ‘territory’ and when they were refused, the victim had the experience of having to do an alcohol and drug abuse assessment because of an anonymous call saying ‘I”m concerned."
In all these instances the individuals and families were exonerated and vindicated. The cost however was exorbitant,  the trauma likely long lasting and painful. The experience of  ‘bureurocratic police violence’ initiated by psychopaths and sociopaths destroys the fabric of the social contract.  Individuals need to feel ‘safe’ in society and the very bureaucracies tasked and paid outrageously for this service have become the principle threat to individuals. This corruption is what precedes and permeates failed states the likes of what is now unfolding in South Africa as it did before in Zimbabwe. (aka Rhodesia)  Police states such as the USSR and China thrive on and reward the informer. This “I’m concerned’ is therefore not a laughing matter.  My East European colleague did joke about the  police state he escaped from saying,  ‘we all knew one of us was an informer if two of us were talking and a third joined us.”
Research has repeatedly shown that bureaucratic agencies are utterly incompetent of recognizing psychopaths and sociopaths. Desperately wanting to be seen as ‘good’ and “caring’ , and utterly fearing loss of their protected cushy committee positions, they  err on the side of becoming the agent of social violence in their false belief that they are ‘protecting the community’.
By contrast judges trained to address ‘motive’ and well versed in the manipulative cunning deceits of sociopaths and psychopaths commonly correct the bureaucratic errors of these pseudo judicial agencies that increasingly in such cases are little more than ‘Kangaroo Courts’.  Judicial oversight unfortunately is too costly and the legal system due to the intrinsic high cost serves mostly the governemnt and the wealthy and powerful.
As the country devolves to a third world state it behooves us all to demand that these increasingly corrupted  quasi judicial bureurocratic committees have their inordinate power vastly curtailed.  In addition  individuals who wield such power must  have the training in the psychology and passive and overtly aggressive techniques of the ‘I’m concerned” aggressors. They must be taught what real justices know about the the techniques of the usually charming and seductive sociopaths and psychopaths that routinely abuse others and the community at large.  
A judge knows that the “I’m concerned’ is often the opening gambit of sophisticated assault.  Hitler always said he was ‘concerned’ before he invaded a neighbouring country.

Eunuchs, Bureaucrats ,Strongman, Conformity and Transsexualism

In society the “strong man” surrounds himself with loyal followers and a harem of available mates and potential ‘breeders’.  The castrated male , or eunuch, was the chief bureaucrat or apparatchik for the strong man. Thecastrated man was not a threat to the strong man or his harem. The very act of participation in the castration ritual was as binding as the partial tribal circumcision rituals. Psychologically there is an inherent “Stockholm Syndrome” with the “identification with the aggressor”.

The androgyny of Jesus and the self castration of the priests of the church was a public statement of ‘conformity’.  Indeed ‘conformity’ is the central tenet of the eunuch creed. It is witnessed today in the modern eunuch equivalence of the transsexual male who voluntarily self castrates then spends the rest of his/her life wanting to ‘pass’ as the female. The argument for Identfication with the aggressor can be made clearly in some if not all.

Psychological mindedness is the tolerance of the tension of opposites.

The aboriginal ‘twin spirit’ was the ‘priest’ of the tribe.  The ‘other’ was normally not accepted for its strangeness in the Traditional Society where survival depended on accepting only sameness. Racism then was a natural survival mechanism as were many phobias and taboos.

The petty bureaucrat/apparatchik is the twisted eunuch with a creepy sexual proclivity. In Armstrong’s , Fields of Blood the uncorrupted  bureaucrat is a perhaps unattainable Platonic shadow given the tendency for bureaucracy to grow like cancers and individually to resist accountability and behave inhumanly in the security engendered by either the mob or lemming sense.

I didn’t have my dog Gilbert castrated because I hoped to breed him.  However as the majority of male dogs in the city are castrated to reduce the competition and tensions which arise in proximity to females in heat and the city females dogs are also castrated to reduce the number of puppies, my dog is not allowed in dog day care.  Contrary to what one would believe that the dogs with excess ‘testosterone’ are the ‘fighter’ it turns out that the castrated dogs attack the uncastrated dogs.  The low testosterone dogs “initiate” fights. The high testosterone dogs may well win because of the beneficial effects of testosterone on muscular development but it is the low testosterone dog that ‘initiates’ fights.  So my dog is excluded from daycare and I am commonly being advised that male dogs ‘should be‘ castrated.

I am encouraged to conform.  But I have always dreamed of my dog and a female dog with puppies in the country somewhere. As a pedigreed pure bread his intrinsic value is thousands of dollars more ‘uncastrated’ but the owners mostly of “mutts” would have me castrate him.  Indeed if a dog becomes violent to humans, whether he initiates it or not, he will be castrated or killed.

Considerable evidence supports the view that females initiate violence or encourage violence between suitors and while overly complaining about violence are sexually aroused by the violence. Dr Carl Jung pointed to the persona or public conscious “face” and the shadow or unconscious or covert other self. The central feature of psychological assessment which in absent in the outdated rational court process is the idea of congruence between word and behaviour. Seductive sexual behaviour is commonly seen in court rooms coupled with inauthentic horror. Even Shakespeare observed “the lady protesters too much”
 However as Christine Summers notes in Who Stole Feminism, How Women Betray Women, the “victim” can serves an ulterior purpose. Hitler invaded countries on the pretence of rescuing German victims. North American had been described as the center of “caregiver”and “victim” industry with the devolution today of everyone offended and everyone a victim.

Arendt described the ‘banality of evil’ when she studied the ‘bureaurocracy’ of the totalitarian system.  The totalitarian system she studied was the Nazi beurocracy. The Nuremberg Trials only occurred yesterday but already the Nizcor Projects concerns are being realized. Without the bureaucracy Auschwitz could not have existed. As “None is too Many” by Arabella And Troper showed clearly the Anti semitism in Canada yesterday it arises again today under another Liberal government.

Erving Goffman studied the ‘totalitarian’ regime of the asylum in his classic “Asylums: Essays on the Social Situation of Mental Patients and other Inmates”. Totalitarianism is the natural consequence of increasing authoritarianism. As the insane become more out control themselves they demand increasing control of those around them in a devolving system of natural self destruction.

Dr. Jordan Peterson, in his 12 Rules of Life describes the fluctuations between the fundamentals of chaos and order.  He describes order as symbolically male and chaos as symbolically female, yin and yang, or yoni and lingam, etc.

The interspace between these two , the grey in the black and white, is the ‘intersex’, an actual biological construct which exists and is considered well in Alice Dreger’s classic, Hermaphrodites and the Medical Invention of Sex.  Those who would argue that heterosexuality, homosexuality or intersexuality or indeed changing sexuality is ‘unnatural’ are proved wrong over and over again by biology which is the lodestone of the natural.  Indeed “civilization’ is perhaps the most ‘unnatural’ creation of the human species.

Morality is distinct from biology though Darwinian Imperialism would dictate that ‘survival of the fittest’ is the morality of all including the gene. The power of the ‘strong man’ and the ‘adherents of the strong man’  aim to maintain a mutually beneficial ‘order’ and resist change ,most often by offering the same, disguised as change,  with the ultimate effect that “the emperor has no clothes’. Social Darwinism is the bureaucratic bible.

The survival of the bureaucrat/apparatchik  or eunuch is dependent on the success and maintenance of the status quo.  Order begets power to those dependent on the throne.  “Steal a little and they put you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king , to quote Dr Johnson paraphrased by Bob Dylan.

Today’s strong man is in flux and a source of uncertainty but likely is the banker as they are most portrayed as ‘order’. Only the richest elite can afford obscurity. The Mao Jacket Sculpture of Sui Jianguo epitomizes the overt austerity of a man whose wife and he enjoyed personal wealthy and debauchery the likes not seen since the sultans while the masses were murdered and impoverished.
Veblen by contrast mocked the outward appearance of the American businessmen in their suits of Puritan simplicity while their treasure horse wives staggered about under the weight of gold and jewels and minks expressing the “conspicuous consumption” of the rising consumer cult.
They are the Straw men of  T.S. Elliott.  Money as a ‘construct’ is most controllable with the immediate value independent of it’s inflation peculiarities of confidence. It is one thing to forego the  “gold” standard which the new Chinese currency wishes to restore as compared to Canada’s Decadent PM Trudeau who would have no standard and declare the “budget will balance itself”.  Marx, the world’s greatest Kafetch, biting the hand that fed, proclaimed, “money is the God of the jews” and “religion the opiate of the masses”.

 The strong man once was the warrior but war today is commonly fought in board rooms and lawyers and corporate leaders are the new knights of the realm.  If they succeed they in turn share the spoils of females and gold. War is the failure of diplomacy but equally its own business. The principal role of the UN is to maintain the order brought on post WW2. The “security council” of US, Russia, Britain, China, France are the principal arms dealers of the world and compete routinely in “dry” or “wet” wars to compare advances in technology and a more intimate Olympic competition for humans.

Hitler was the ‘strong man’ whose existence depended upon his Goebbels and Himmler, the most powerful of his inner circle being the sole female, Eva Braun.  Lenin’s circle was Stalin, Trotsky, Molotov and Krupskaya and Armand the wife and mistress of Lenin.  Even Jesus had his Mary Magdalene, portrayed ironically as  celibate though it was known that Jesus surrounded himself with ‘fallen women ‘as well as the most upstanding women like Mary and Martha.

To gain real loyalty the strong man in the Hell’s Angels ,kills. Stalin and Lenin and Molotov were the killers , and being willing to kill and steal, these ‘bolsheviks’ overthrew the moderates’ mensheviks’.

So the Hell’s Angel Strongman kills himself without witness then witnesses the killing by his second in command and so forth. Today the binding in the elite may well be with pedophilia of as the author Patterson suggested cannibalism. Reality by comparison is often stranger than fiction. hiaasen the great southern novelist perhaps outdated said “the only thing a southern congressman can’t do is be caught in bed with a dead woman or alive boy.” That’s the elite where there is a “free press” but in Muslim countries such as Saudi Arabia or Buddhist countries such as Thailand where any criticism of the elite leadership is prison or death all bets are off.

In the Abrams history, Pink Swastika, Homosexuality in the Nazi Party, homosexuality was rife in SS. The gay men gassed in Auschwitz werehowever the “queers” and  the most ‘effiminate’ , the ‘bottoms’ as opposed to the ‘tops’ .  The passive is considered ‘effiminate’ so that in the lesbian culture the ‘butch is ‘dominant’ aggressive and most likely ‘top’. In domestic violence. Studies  lesbians were the most violent followed by gay male couples followed by heterosexuals.  There is no comparable data on the intersex as yet. Domestic violence against children is mostly done by females which follows the standard abuse of power where power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  While the negatives of single parenthood are flaunted the lust for tyranny is rarely addressed.

The ‘strong man’ is commonly coupled with the ‘priest’ or ‘medicine woman’, both being ‘aserxual’ or at very least not a threat to the power of the strong man.  Historically the survival of church and medicine , scientists, physicians etc depended solely on their abject agreement with the ‘strong man’.  If they ‘disagree’ they die. History records the carnage of the threats to the strong man. Stalin’s wife suicided. The great play  of T.S. Elliott, Murder in the Cathedral starring Thomas Beckett is perhaps the best example and indeed, object lesson.  Bonhoffer’s tale of morally standing against the Nazi and Lutheran church is just a more recent example.

Herod of the Great of Biblical times got the gold and became the prototypical strong man mall developer and the harem of wives who produces the incestuous daughters including Salome who made John the Baptist’s head her jewelry box, Thank heavens for the the Salome opera. Despite Herod’s evil which might well have been explained away in Job, this strong man tyrant of Roman Empire appears outwarded to have got more John the Baptist or Jesus or the massacred innocents. Christians might not get the virgins of the Muslim conformist followers of the the strong man of Islam but at very least Anglicans talk much about the mansions they are promised in the afterlife.

The eunuch is the symbol of ultimate conformity. Whether Origen self castrated or not, the strong man wanted the priest celibate and the bureaucrat castrate by conformity so as to not be a threat to himself or his harem.

Loyalty to the leader is all that is necessary , hence the strong man quote goes, goes “I don’t need your loyalty when I’m right. I need your loyalty when I’m wrong.”

The petty bureaucrat  makes ‘conformity’ not ‘truth’ or any other ‘virtues’ , but “conformity” his Perverted Virtue.  Living in fear of the ‘strong man’ he or she self castrates or actually castrates.

In the modern world this would suggest that the ‘outed’ trans sexual would make the best prime minister or leader of the government bureaucracy. The argument here being that the modern day politician is no longer the leader themselves but a kind of ‘mascot’ for the power behind the throne. Recently Canada’s prime minister returned from India having given Indian business men hundreds of millions so he could use their country as a back drop to his photo op, only to be followed by the French Prime Minister who returned from India with nearly 20 billion in bullion from his trade visit.
The leaders of the UN, the Security council of China, US, England, France, and Russia are the only ‘strong men’ in the mix, perhaps the other ‘politcians’ which are not ‘mascots’ but weld real power themselves.  In the US the politician leader is the supreme commander in chief and in the past the George Washington presidential typeswere formally military leaders. The epoch of lawyers in America ended with the Clinton, Bush, Obama lawyer schemes floundering with lawyer Hillary’s failed bid. Now a businessman is in charge reflecting a shift in the leadership and of the beurocracy.
It is always to be remembered as Robert Graves so clearly showed in Golden Bough that the role of all leaders to the greater group is as potential sacrifice if things don’t go right.

The Eunuch remains male or female as the Confuscian goal. Without children they are less likely to be controlled by the traditional threat to the competitionof that the killing of killing of the children imposes. Lenin killed the children of the Czar to show what he would do to his followers, more than for any other reasons.  The ruthlessness of the ruler is the morality of the ‘strong man’ in comparison to the’conformity’ ‘truth’ of the eunuch beurocrat. A woman might better be manipulated through threat to her children,

The ‘outlier’ is like David to the paranoid and later certifiably insane King Saul. The more  insecure the strong man the more they cannot  tolerate ‘difference’ as the traditional socitety tale of anthropologist Diamond of Guns Germs and Steel  tells. Difference  is cause to kill.  The thug is threatened by the creative.  Creativity is the most feminine bottom passivechaotic position  as compared to the agitated desperate order.business of the rutting monkey order.

The ‘reformer’ is the enemy of anyone who benefits from the status quo. Bureurocrats live lives of quiet desperation. As Victor Frankl learned from his up close view of the bureaurocracy of Auschwitz his life was meaningful in comparison to the meaningless of the butchers of the camps.
If Joseph Conrad were alive today he would indeed shout again, “the,horror, horror” all the while the chief paediatric surgeon of Milan Kundera’s the “Unbearable Lightness of Being” made the best of window washing.

Sunday Morning, Amotivated

Spring Forward.  I lost an hour.  No doubt the dog or cat took it. They are definitely the usual suspects. Came in last week and all the pillows and rugs were off the couch and all the books and such were off the table.  The dog and cat look innocent.  They definitely stole the hour.

Laura and I watched Murder on the Orient Express.  Loved it. Loved the great actors and actresses.  Kenneth Branagh was perfect as Hercule Poirot and I so loved Michelle Pfeiffer as Mrs. Hubbard. Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp were incredible. Willed Dafoe, I didn’t see his disguise. Judi Dench was all the princess, truly regal.  The plot was Agatha Christie but the filmatography was the best. I loved the lighting and the train.  After that I loved John Travolta in From Paris with Love, a fabulous shoot em up 007 anti terrorist thriller with humor.  Late night.  

I woke late too. No church. Hadn’t planned on church this morning. Wanted more of the sun.  Sitting outside at the picnic table. Walking the dog.  Tic season and he’s to be groomed next week. Sticking to cement.  Next week we’ll be out in the woods. 

Harley Davidson coming back. I keep lusting after a Honda African Twin, 1000 cc “Adventure Bike”.  I don’t need two bikes, (but I want them. Meditating today God didn’t free from moksha. I had a cat and a dog lie on either side of me. Breath is special. We take it for granted.  I find long stretches of time have gone by and I’m not cherished my breathing.  

I made coffee and bacon sandwiches for Laura this morning.  We’re spoiled. 

I shaved. Laura has showered. I’m planning on that.  The big event of today. I’ve got smokies to barbecue and Cobbs hot dog buns.  We were at the mall yesterday. Laura renewed her driving license and I got some summer closed toe sandals.  Aging footwear is not longer anything off the rack. The orthotic folk would like these.  It really is spring with summer panting behind when I can get out of clogs into sandals.  I wasn’t meant for winter clothes. Sailing shorts, tshirts and sandals is what I was born for.  I wear jackets and vests in winter for the pockets.  I saw a police man with the weight around his waist and thought he’s going to regret that when he’s fifty.  The older girls like their ‘comfortable shoes’.  Milenia is a trooper. 

• I’m often overwhelmed by the ‘free choice’.  I could go to the beach in Vancouver. I haven’t scuba dove in 2 years. It’s been too long. There’s a horse riding place near by and that’s been too long.  It’s been three or four years since I was riding in the mountains or in the desert with friends. Time flies. There’s the ATV and I could be in the woods in an hour or two. I never made it to Whistler for skiing. It’s been several years now since I was down hill or ever cross country skiing.  It’s as long since I was snow shoeing and even longer since I was on a snowmobile. Yet each of these things I did intensively weekly for 10 or more years at a time. I gained proficiency and then wondered off to something else. Now I always love returning but never seem to have the ‘time.” I’ve not been dancing in years. Other than working and meeting the infinite demands of the increasingly bullying and terrifying government hacks and wannabes I fear my life is ebbing away reduced to a number in a beurocratic office. I then think more clearly and realize with gratitude I’m living but have given far too much to the ungrateful company store who sucks the soul out of people and claims they ‘volunteered’.  I came to serve people not fascist communist corporate sociopaths. 
  

I’ve not been sailing.  I was biking. Bear hunting season opens soon. The cure for cancers still awaits someone. The great Canadian novel has yet to be written though Robert Davies and Margaret Lawrence came close. The great exposee of the criminal corruption of Government has yet to be done showing the influence of Mafia, Biker Gangs, Drugs, Pedophilia, Saudi Arabia and the Communists are all involved has yet to be written, a kind of Canadian Dream to match Tom Cruises American Dream. The difference would be that we’d given our water to Nestle for free and were trading bear gall bladders and marijuana for politicians on prime time with American comedians. 

 There’s just so much to be done and I’m doing nothing here but bitching , complaining, whining, and  procrastinating  Elon Musk is working on a space ship but what’s am I doing today to get myself to Mars. I’m really lazy. I’ve been reading Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules of Lifea and a generic espionage novel with some good insights but overall a bit low brow.  I do like how these characters in novels solve their interpersonal problems with bombs and poisons and seem to get away with it. Somehow the ‘ends’ justifies the means’ . Not in my world. That’s the fantasy. I need an alien ray gun and hearing of radioactive hits in London wonder where I could get some of that ‘good stuff’.  

 I ‘m been fantasizing sailing the Atlantic and instead moving along towards the northern canada RV trip or southern US RV trip.  I like land RV and hanging out as much as sailing expeditions.  It’s the easiness of it.  I love the woods and wilderness too. I do long to be before the mast or anchoring in a distant bay. I could be fishing. But with only a day to do things I’m not likely to get a spacecraft out of the galaxy and back before I have to go to work tomorrow.  I think of retirement as a time for longer projects.  I miss wood work. I haven’t played my guitar and sung the old songs and those uplifting Christian songs I love.  It’s been a while.I could do that. I’d love to find , Be Thou My Vision and belt that out for the song birds about here.  That’s an achievable project.  I probably should stop this pathetic whining journalling or blogging and do something godly like bathe. Laura’s smelling better. I could follow her lead.  The shower is free. The dog certainly isn’t going to compete with me for that. After a shower I might get a spaceship to tour the galaxy just so long as I get back for work in the morning. 

Some one really should find where that hour went.  It’s probably with the missing socks.  

Sunny Saturday with Laura, George, Gilbert and Churchill

I love the sun.  I love that I’m sitting outside at a picnic table.  I awoke from a dream where John and Susan from Fort Garry days were playing guitar in the living room. My brother was there and Gilbert and the family dog from childhood.  How much better can it get?
I have a new Sealy Posturpedic mattress.  Laura’s hot menopausal body was beside me.  I didn’t even need the electric heating blanket. Eric fixed the furnace after a few days of dysfunction. The snow is all but gone outside. I’ve lots of propane and had just changed the tank the night before.
Some asshole called at 7 am.  I wake normally at 7 am but it’s Saturday and I had hoped to sleep in till 8 am.  The caller didn’t respond.  “This is Dr. Hay. Yes?”  I didn’t wait. I hung up.  Years of the trauma of being on call. Wee hour calls to deliveries, trauma or people suicidal or even drunk and family members of the above.  Nurses, doctors and northern or folk at sea in desperation seeking help.  And this ass hole calls at 7 am. Might well be a family member or friend just not thinking. Like the telemarketers who more often call when I get home from a long day and want to eat.
With the phone ringing and master moving ,Gilbert began hrrumfffing, wanting up on the bed. My bladder which had not been awake suddenly demanded attention.  Laura had rolled over.  George the Cat was just beyond Gilbert. I think George had already run across my legs. I got up.
I love indoor plumbing but I really wouldn’t mind stepping outside and hosing down the street if it wasn’t a municipal offence. When I had my acreage in the country the dog and I would often happily wander outside to water the trees and look at the stars or watch the sun come up at dawn.  With men as persecuted as Christians in Canada it’s good to reflect on the benefits of external plumbing.   Now in the urban centre of offence and rules and regulations I am truly thankful for indoor plumbing.  Ah.....Relief.
I am back to meditating.  After I feed the cat and dog I sit cross legged focussing on my breath.  I used to do this for days.  Now I’m good for minutes. The dog and cat think my being down in their territory is invitation to play.  It’s never long before one or the other is curled up in my lap expecting a scratch.  Maybe this is what Nirvana or Samedhi is supposed to be.
I do sit ups.  I’m pear shaped. I’ve used the excuse of accidents to explain my sloth but the fact is I watch crime drama and war thrillers and binge eat.  Without late night tv I’d be evacuated.    But last nights Ghost in a Shell Japanese futuristic movie with Scarlett’ Johanneson just demanded chips and cheese and a peanut butter sandwich. When I’m on top of these things I have carrot sticks and butter less pop corn. Kind of like packaged blood products for a vampire desperate for the real thing.
Laura and I watched the Netflix “Churchill” not realizing it wasn’t the “Darkest Hour” Churchill movie
“Everyone said how great it was, but I didn’t think it was that good,” Laura said.
“It’s all PC nonsense with revisionist American Hollywood and feminist crap.  Churchill wasn’t a nincompoop before D Day.  His wife certainly wasn’t an airhead like Justin’s Sophie.   People yelled at each other back then.  It wasn’t called bullying. Mistakes got everyone killed. Just as much as ‘loose lips’.  I hate this retrospective falsification aimed at tearing down the greats of western civilization.  The same violent barbarians are tearing down the George Washington statues.  “ I eloquently bitched.
“They portrayed him as having PTSD because of the Gallipoli and WWI experience.”  She said.
“It was a wonderful soap opera, and really I loved the acting and the scenery and everything but it would be no different than showing Stalin murdering the millions he killed portraying that great warrior killer sociopath as a kindly old man who wasn’t breast fed enough. It’s great Hollywood tv drama but it’s not true. I’m surprised they didn’t have a Kardashian having an affair with him to the music of Justin Bieber. No wonder young people are ignorant and fatuous with the shit people put in their brains.”
“I just can’t understand why my friends who are really smart liked it.” Laura kept saying and I kept thinking her friends must be mentally retarded Communist whackjobs.  “They said the film showed him drinking all the time and he wasn’t drinking that much.”
Thank God for Internet. We sorted it all out. Before we had a major argument between us we learned that this  Churchill movie, really a parody with all it’s American Arrogance, ( to hear them speak of WWII they won it single handedly and didn’t need the Allies or Russia) was not ‘The Darkest Hour” movie
In Instabull they have magnificent large scale model of the British Turkish encounter and the errors made by Churchill.  It really is a incredible exhibit that shows how sly the Turks were and how duped the English were leading to one of the greatest defeats of all time.  The Ottoman Empire lasted 700 years and was not the ‘sick man’ that it was portrayed as by Europeans who underestimated them to their detriment.
I’d been in Moscow  where their War Museums have real life Tussaud type exhibits with maps and the numbers of Russians who died to throw back Germany. I’d seen just how much they sacrificed, how much Germany lost in men and equipment,  and what Stalin’s strategy  had done to defeat Germany. The Allies contribution was more a mopping up after the carnage the Russian wrecked on Hitler.
The Americans acted more like mercenaries holding out while the British and Europeans fought among themselves so they could get the best financial deals.  Hollywood portrayed the Americans as high minded but Roosevelt and his cabinet acted  like regular low life horse traders rather than caring about saving Jews or democracy.  The American for years were just bankers and extortionists and then when the Japanese attacked them and Germany declared war on them, they got into the Atlantic war. Very slippery characters. Not at all like the greatest people of the world, us Canadians, who won the war single handedly (just ask our Minister of Defence who also apparently won the Boer War, 30 year War and advised Napoleon).
No doubt the Americans more or less won the Pacific war with the help of Britain and the Aussies but their grandiose portrayal of themselves in all their Hollywood propaganda movies has been as far fetched as this comic book Churchill presentation.  Probably this is not a reflection on the American military but more a reflection on the draft dodging drug addicted sex addicted Hollywood producers of the Harvey Weinstein ilk.
Anyone who knows history knows Churchill’s wife wouldn’t be phoning the King and tattling on her husband or that Churchill’s wife would be considering leaving on the night of D Day. Gloria Steinem  and Jane Fonda would be doing that for sure.  But not the Clementines of the world.
Well it wasn’t Darkest Hour. “Thank God for that,” Laura said.  “Now I really want to see Darkest Hour.”
“Me too,” I said.
Now she wants to go renew her Smart Car insurance at the mall. I’m going to finish this up.
I’d actually started a report I planned to finish this weekend , long over due, but it turns out I don’t have the notes I need. Being in different clinics with records dispersed in the clinic computer systems doing medical legal reports is a major challenge. It was so much better for the report writing when I had all the information on my own computer.
The trouble with the keeping of my own notes is that the fat cat lawyers and their beurocratic Greek Chorus have made the statue of limitations for doctors eternal. The College of Physicians and Surgeons is calling back doctors from Heaven to accuse them of touching female patients 500 years ago and insisting that they publicly produce records saying where their hands were during deliveries because anesthetized patients remember themselves being touched by the Obstetrician during the delivery in the genital region and their unborn babies are complaining that a lawyer wasn’t present when the ultrasounds were done which ended up on Facebook without their written permission.
I wouldn’t have taken notes all these years if I knew I had to keep the records for life and multiple reincarnations after that. I’ve got a storage locker full of files and the cost of digitalizing them would be $10,000s and they say there will be help for this when I retire but I can never afford to retire because of the threat of new rules and new threats as beurocrats and lawyers create millions of new regulations by the second  just to keep themselves in business. Meanwhile Trudeau and the government have sold all Canadian grandchildren into slavery with a debt load rising daily by tens of millions just the same as his father did who put the country in debt till Alberta oil saved Quebec ass.
Oh well, it’s a sunny day. I can’t do the work.  God loves me. Instead I get to play. I wanted to get out in a boat but that will have to wait. Motorcycle comes home next week. I rode my electric bicycle strenghthening my injured knee along the horse trails yesterday It was great to see the horses exercising.
God I love this spring air. Sweet scents on the breeze. Gilbert napping beside me, his ball securely under his nose.
Thank you Jesus for this glorious spring day. It’s a great day to be alive.  Hallelujah. Halleljuh!!!!!

My Birthday (older than the hills)

I remember my mother at Christmas would save up purchases we needed but would wrap them up and give them at Christmas. Things like tooth brushes, socks and pyjamas.  They are ‘gifts’ technically but we’d have got them  anyway. As kids a gift was a toy. But looking back we appreciated the unwrapping and it filled out the gifts under the tree.  I noticed my sister in law Adell gave the boys 'nail clippers' at Christmas. It's a family thing. Touching.
I needed a new mattress. . Even if it was placebo I ordered a Sealy Posturpedic Mattress from the Bay . It arrived before my birthday.  I love it.
I think my parents died because they just became tired.  A new mattress can stave off fatigue. Extend life.  The flowers of spring also were kind enough to appear with renewal of hope and increased faith despite a last ditch dowsing with snow.
 I also have the capacity to ‘write off’ as a business expense new technology I use predominantly for work. So this year I upgraded my iPhone 7s to the iPhone X with faster processing and more data space. Having closed my office where the computer was the principal tech I’m working out of three clinics,  carrying much more about, and depending more on my iPhone.  Laura gets my hand me down phone.
 Friday we were at one of my favourite places, Apple Centre . Pacific Centre.  I now have a new phone.  Laura  had my iPhone 6 and now has my iPhone 7s.  Nonetheless I really like the iPhone X and Laura loves the iPhone 7s mostly because it’s rose gold (ie pink).
At the BC Sportsman Show I bought the real "toy", the adult 'boy toy".   Porta Bote folding boat which I’ll be able to attach to the side of my RV to free up storage. My kevlar canoe is in consignment and will pay half the new boat. I love the ‘trading up’ capacity which comes with aging acquisition, being able to have something to ‘trade’. I remember the raw expenses of younger years.
Laura bought us Han’s Chinese take out and we had terrific time watching Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock at home. Gilbert and George were delighted with the company and the treats.
Sunday morning was special. My friend Barry plays organ at the All Saints Anglican Church. I’d missed his organ concert at Christ Church so was pleased to be able to hear him play piano and organ in church.
Laura and I met Kevin and Anna and the God kids there. We all enjoyed the service. The minister is a godly man. He reminds me of Dr. Lam the EMAS colleague who was always so kindly and caring.  I love Christians for reminding me of ‘my utmost for his highest’.  There’s a humbling aspect to their presence.
It was all round a positive experience. Even better was coffee after and meeting Barry’s psychiatrist mother in her 90’s and a friend of Dr. Willi Gutowski, my admired Christian psychiatrist mentor.  We had cake and coffee chatting while the kids crayoned.  Everyone  was terrific.  Jesus was happy there.
After it was a great time with the god kids at Swiss Chalet at Lougheed and Boundary. The restaurant and staff were welcoming of the little munchkins.  Kendra is so sweet.  Alex and Isaac and Kendra were listening to their mother which made for a good  time for us adults. We could chat about plans and futures. Kevin’s father is dying.  Hee had been back to the maritimes and would be returning in the coming week with Anna.  We talked of family,  death,  God, photography and our choice in cars. A regular mutual appreciation society.
Laura and I spent the afternoon at home. I walked Gilbert along the trails. Later she walked him on the cement walk. We watched more movies on tv and read books.  I”m enjoying Orphan X and a Jordan Peterson book I ordered from Amazon.
Laura liked my new mattress.
She gave me chocolates too.
On Monday night Dave, Mack,  Shane and I took the sky train to BC Place. I”d got tickets for the Canucks versus the New York Islanders at the Simon Frazer Pipe Band Robbie Burns Dinner gala and fund raiser.  I love supporting these incredible young people.  We were all delighted with the seats behind the goal.
It was 4 to 3 with the Canucks winning in overtime.  We got to see that goal up close , along with other.  Markstrom is a great goalie.
Mack had got me a foot long hot dog.  Dave had got us white spot chips.  It was great game night with a feast included. I loved the Zamboni machine.  The anthems and hostess and music and wave were all fun.  I was reminded of the days as a kid in Winnipeg shovelling the snow off the rink in 40 below before playing a game out doors. Several of us had known that experience between 6 and 12 years old. I played pick up til 16 or 18 and ‘old timers league’ in my late 30’s.  I actually skated last a few years back.   That night I dreamed of scoring the winning goal, stealing Liepsic’s glory, a legend in my own mind.  I also fell in love with the young ladies who skate on the ice pushing shovels.  Somehow in my dream I was a young guy again and they were admiring me as I drove a big zamboni machine.  I can't remember a dream like that in years but it really was something to see that overtime play off and watch that incredible score.
I know the guys through our dogs.  Gilbert’s friends.  Emory is Dave’s dog. Max is Mack’s and Hank is Shane’s.  Mack had been driving the snow plow the week before. Shane drove a truck starting work at the ungodly hour of 5 am. Dave works heavy machinery. But we all like the Zamboni.  What a wonderful machine.
All that was missing at the Hockey game, our best friends.
I like the sky train too having never taken the new Burnaby line.It really was impressive. No sense taking a car down town for concerts and shows and games.  The sky train was perfect.
At Royal Columbia clinic Dr. Waterson, Belinda and Karen gave me a fruit cake and at Docside Clinic , Dr. Horvath, Mari lou, Judith and Jerry gave me a chocolate cake.
My nephews and sister in law sent cards and phoned me to wish me well. I got great emails from so many friends.  I felt loved.

Today I’m blessed and too frequently I don’t keep my head in the same room as my ass. I lose my joy to resentments about past or worries about the future. I’ve one step in the future and one step in the past and i’m pissing on my day. I keep fighting this and am thankful for friends and birthdays to get my head our of my ass. I really felt loved and felt that I wasn’t alone and that it was going to be  alright. It’s good to be a year older.
Thank you Lord.