Thursday, March 29, 2018

Resilience and Easter

I feel sometimes when I’m actively being punished by barbaric antiquated pre modern science systems of control and abuse that I become too ‘heavy’.  I teach that in life we should learn from motorcyclists. Driving down the freeway at high speed on my Harley Electroglide I learned that if I look at a pile of dog shit or maneur or radical leftist Canadian liberal policy I will indeed collide with the shit and get shit on my shiny motorcycle and leather armour.  Yet if I don’t keep my eyes open and my head out of the sand I won’t know who kicked me. So to navigate as motorcyclists we note the government obstacles, the ignorance and outrageously expensive counter productive policies but avoid them personally.  We see the shit and go to either side of the obstacle.  It’s been said that I personally persist in driving right down the centre of the road proverbially, politically and poetically.  In this far left country of Canada with our radically left government I feel as emotionally and mentally homeless as the increasing numbers of physically homeless.
Psychiatry Grand Rounds, Neuroscience of Resilience, 3.14.18, Psychiatry Grand Rounds by Noshene Ranjibar MD and Justin Otis, MD said the first and best response to trauma was relational, community and sharing and parasympathetic.  In contrast to the local medical administrative disdain for AA NA and Church the presenters celebrated the community and rituals that helped people deal with trauma in the healthiest way, utilizing the parasympathetic autonomic nervous system.  The second line defence most known was the sympathetic fight or flight response, the characteristic response elicited by the British Columbia and Canadian administration policies which are legalistic, paranoid, and 17th century pre scientific era, control and power based.   The third response was the basal ganglia, reptilian, ancient ’freeze’ response .
They were discussing ‘burn out’ and how they had addressed their problems with physician burn out. It was uplifting to hear all the advances in psychiatry being brought to the department and administration level.  Locally I’d been exposed to the junior low brow approaches to systemic problems best described as blame, shame and CYA administration. This is classic communist and totalitarian fear based ‘negotiation by intimidation’ also seen commonly with people drunk and stoned. The rise in marijuana use in government is certainly a contributing factor. Marijuana may removed the empathic capacity of the higher brain function.
 British Columbia is the epicentre of crime, drug trafficking and money laundering of Canada. It’s competitor is Montreal made famous by   Chabonneau Corruption Commission which showed the Mafia and Biker Gang influence on French Canadian governments. The Canadian Health Care System is descending as Canadian debt sky rockets.
Well in the midst of this I thought I’d just add a blog with the positive images of ’spring’. Because I work in a highly toxic environment in a divided country with failing health care system and roaring corruption and dishonesty, I am forever doing everything to cope.  My patients are desperate and maligned and ignored. They’re terrified and the future is very bleak for the elderly.  They’ve all been promised everything by the political system and the lies of media ,only to find that they are old and homeless and that third world people feel greater happiness.
 I sometimes want a holiday because all my time off  is “recovering’ from the George III insanity of governement dictates.  Every day colleagues take early retirement complaining of the administration and the government. 75% of doctors would not recommend medicine.
Internationally Canada is known now as the most offended nation in the universe.
Everyone collectively and individually is guilty of a social offence as laws and bureaucracy exponentially increase.
I prayer daily, meditate, write gratitudes, look on the bright side, celebrate crusaders like Jordan Peterson, JJ MacCullough,Diana Davison. I pray for willingness to forgive because I don’t seem to be forgiving as the bolts of negative energy and punishment just keep coming, I shut out thoughts of suicide knowing these creepy callous fat cat elites want this in their secret hearts and I refuse to identify with the aggressor. Too many good people have been killed by these cretans. I pray. I talk to other doctors but everyone I most admire, the greatest of the great are disgusted like I am . The evidence is overwhelming that the problem is systemic yet they continue to personalize it. I walk the dog, my little blind therap dog. I am writing gratitude lists daily while moving through the daily malaise, constant threats hanging over me, I look for ways to escape, hear all the thanks and appreciation of family and friends, feel empathy for the many who are subjected to the ptsd of unfeeling workplace of superiority and rabid arrogance. I resist the strokes and hear aches such covert evil induces. I stop and breathe and look at the spring. These people are sick I say. Pray for them. Thought block. They sold their soul to the company store long ago. Shut their contempt for those who are still at the front out of your mind. Go to church. Go to meetings. Share hugs. Focus on the good. Avoid the shit. There’s a wide open road. Head out on the highway.
Christ is crucified. Get down off the cross we can use the wood. Soon it will be Easter morning. The metaphor is there. This too will pass. Sun always rises. Christ is risen. We’ve seen worse. We will survive . We will thrive. There’s always the resilience.Holy Spirit Come. Lord Jesus Christ. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Be like Jesus. Let the light heal. Invite the Lord into your heart. Let go and let God. Wear life like a loose wrap. Smile and the world smiles with you. Hallelujah Christ is risen.
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