Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Justin Trudeau Again

No one has done more for my humility than Justin Trudeau. Just when I thought I could relax on my program, that nothing could upset my serenity, along comes Justin.  Ever since he said he smoked dope and recommended we all join him and there was no consequences he lost me.
Meanwhile I can’t help but think of my friend who was caught with dope, breaking the law, went to prison for 6 months, but being a good looking boy was gang raped, tried to escape prison, to avoid gang rape, and did 7 years hard time.  Now he rides with a biker gang and my friend of youth seems so far away in those far seeing eyes of his I can’t help but think of Justin Trudeau as Canada’s Hanoi Jane.  Yes the law should be changed. And yes I understand that you smoked dope like your mom and yes decriminalization is okay. But does the Liberal party elite need to be positioned to make millions and why can the new Canadian royalty break the law and almost boast about it.  Even lie a little, making it not a big thing, while others report it wasn’t a minor things but a major deal because drug folk always ‘minimize’ their use. Like the alcoholics who say I only had a ‘couple of drinks’.
Obama admitted to breaking the law and doing cocaine but he was ‘contrite’ about it. He was respectful of the wrong he’d done and being a lawyer seemed just a whole lot smarter than Justin about his past. Bill Clinton said ‘contritely’ he smoked dope but ‘didn’t inhale’.
I work as a medical review officer. It’s really hard now.  I see men and women in high office who never did anything worse than Justin Trudeau. But my job is to urine test them and see them regularly and ensure that they seen counsellors and don’t use drugs.  They’re more innocent than Justin Trudeau. They smoked a joint once or twice but someone ‘caught’ them and their jobs are more important than part time drama teachers and Members of Parliament. For a minimum of three and sometimes 5 years they have be ‘abstinent’ and accountable for not using drugs. Even Ford went to treatment, but he wasn't a liberal.
I smoked dope when I wasn’t working.  I’d been advised by a psychiatrist to do it and was buying marijuana from a doctor and I was a wine connoisseur drinking with psychiatrists who thought I was a ‘light weight’ because I didn’t drink that much.  I’d binge on a weekend every 6 months after a long stretch of endless call. Eventually I was diagnosed with PTSD and ironically marijuana is one of the drugs of choice for this condition.  My psychiatrist who I saw for anxiety after dealing with the hangings in the suicide epidemics and too many deaths and too much family grief and insanity at home and at work, well, he was ahead of the times.
But the authorities were not. They were, as is usually the case, decades out of date and only interested in control and dominance.  This was probably the case because so many of them, like Justin Trudeau, were living a lie and smoking dope and getting drunk and whenever they could point a finger at someone else, they did.
So I peed in a jar at the beck and call of a number system and did it so much that the punitive, incredible disturbed person who was working out their personal issues in their position of authority, uneducated and ignorant about the field, was finally told there is no reason to ‘drug test, Dr. Hay, unless you do it for political reasons’.  I’ve had a lot of shit come down for defending lost causes and people with a target on their back because of their politics.  As a physician in the frontlines you are prone to getting hit by so called ‘friendly fire’.
But Justin Trudeau didn’t do thousands of hours of his time getting treatment for his ‘recreational use of marijuana.’  As it was explained to me, “marijuana was illegal’, ‘you broke the law.’  “holding office is a privilege, not a right’.
My dog was killed because I wouldn’t ‘falsify’ the results of a pot smoker who wanted to hold a high government office.  My colleagues dog was killed too.
I just see Justin Trudeau’s face and I see Stuart the white Scotty and I see him seizuring from presumably anti freeze.  The south african doctors dog was done in the same way because he like me refused to compromise our position. The police told me that was the warning and my life would be next.  Money is a major motivator.  The pay for high government office is exorbitant.  What’s killing a doctor’s dog.
Right now another drug addict is threatening to kill my dog.  It’s bringing up a lot of the old shit.  Seeing Justin Trudeau is bringing stuff up front that I thought was well buried. The nightmares have returned.
I just see Justin Trudeau and I think of the ‘double standard’ and ‘arrogance’ and ‘hypocrisy’.  I also can’t help but think of my friend Dugald Christie, the lawyer who started the Pro Bono Law in BC for the poor dying in a hit and run as he rode his bicycle to burn his robes again on the supreme courts steps, the first time because there was no ‘justice for the poor’ in Canada, this time ‘because there was no justice for the middle class’.  Only the rich like Justin Trudeau are above the law and can even shout
“Get the Fuck out of my way” grab old men and elbow women in the tit.
It cost me about a half million dollars in loss of time and a lengthy legal battle because I said ‘fuck’ in the workplace. I got kicked out of high school for saying ‘fuck’ and admitting to saying ‘fuck’. That was when Justin Trudeau’s father Pierre Trudeau was lying and saying he said ‘fuddle duck’.
It’s not surprising that people joke and say, ‘how do you know a politician is lying?  Their lips are moving.”
I was such an idealist once. I’m looking forward to death because I’ve been so disappointed in life by the lies , and bullies and the hypocrisy and now Trudeau.

So when I see him I’m actually getting stomach pains and wanting to retch. I know it’s not him. I know I’m ‘sensitive’ and he triggers me. I try not to watch the news or hear what he says. I’m more entertained by American news because they expose all the lies of Hillary , the poppycock of Bernie, and the bluster of Trump.  I think of our last election and it was like it was rigged.  I felt like I was watching a soccer game more than I ever felt watching a hockey game.  All marketing.
And the obvious playing to the low classes and the women.
It was a disgusting Justin Trudeau  titty show and the girls lapped it up.  I thought what a low we’ve come to if  this is why women got he vote, so they could get a Playgirl Playmate in the PM’s office.  Where are the women who would have objected to men voting Pamela Anderson for PM?
The young vote for the young.  The ultimate ‘yuppie’ girl and boy show so reminiscent of his father and Maggie all the while Maggie was stoned out of her gourd and Trudeau was off somewhere else when she was dry humping band members on stage.  When we will learn what Sophie’s mental illness is, to be married to a Trudeau.  That’s how my mind thinks. Twisted and sad.
Next he’s giving billions to the UN and I loathe the UN for it’s fat bureaucracy, gangster line up, all those African leaders who kill homosexuals and the Arabian leaders who have their sex slaves and the communist leaders who kill everyone else.  What a gallery of rogues. So what’s Trudeau giving $4 billion dollars to this appalling organization.
Then he’s so unscientific.  Of course there’s global warming. It’s the alternative to an ice age. But Climate Change says that man is doing it by breathing so Agenda 21 of the UN is really a communist manifesto , a totalitarian solution to the ‘skies falling ‘ propaganda.  And we’ve now got a minister of Climate Change.  The only thing I like about his cabinet is a Sikh Minister of Defence and the idea that Canada has a Sikh minister of defence before India does.  Yet I can’t help but wonder what other country in the world has a Canadian in cabinet.
All day long I see Canadians who are struggling financially. It’s happened over night. In the past I simply didn’t see so many people having trouble making ends meet.  And people out of work. I don’t know what the stats say but this last year everyone seems to be looking for work.  I was happy when everyone was employed and while the rest of the world was going through the greatest world economic crisis since the 30’s Canada was managing the best.  Now we’re selling seats on our third world bus.
I’m afraid. I’m looking forward to retirement.  I’ve worked more than 30 years, studied 12 and worked two jobs. I started work at 12.  Justin Trudeau wasn’t working hard at university, always a playboy and now he’s got the wife and kids and in laws along for his work taking vacation and doing more time ‘modelling’ than the models I actually know.
It’s all rigged too. It’s all Hollywood ‘reality tv’.  He’s a soap opera star.  Sophie and He are the new Kardashian’s.  It’s Rapp.  It’s something utterly sickening to me.
I retch inside.
And I know it’s not him.  It’s my issue.
I’m a Christian. I’m supposed to pray for him when he lies. I’m supposed to pray for him when he irritates me so much I feel nauseous.
I’m supposed to be focussing on the day and not worrying that I’ll be pushing a shopping cart or in jail because Justin Trudeau is a dark cloud on those who worked in Canada all their lives and being so young and wealthy he doesn’t care at all about the old people.
I don’t have a pension.  I’m not rich. I’ve given so much of my life to others that I had this silly dream that one day I’d be able to take some time off, a few months, a vacation.  I seem to be working a lot. But then I’m working 12 hours a day , 60 hours a week and then I’m playing hard because if I don’t do something to counteract what I hear and see I’d go insane. Mostly I feel comforted in the woods , at sea. I’m anxious a lot.  Not like I was but there’s this frustration.  I am so weary with the weight of more and more government and more and more people not working. I feel at times like I’m the last person working in Canada and I’m holding up all this interfering grandiose, overbearing royalty , this government upper class, bureaucrats upon eurocrats, and more and more administration, more and more people watching doctors do their work, telling us how to do our work and not willing to be in the frontline, millions of chiefs and no Indians.  I’m so tired of people complaining that they can’t get any services, that they’re angry that they wait months to see me and I’m late an hour and I’m supposed to be thinking about ‘customer service’ and yet there’s just no bodies and more and more paperwork and more and more people sick and unemployed and we’re being told that people need more marijuana and it’s getting sad.
Justin Trudeau may as well say it: He doesn’t think I’m a Canadian and he doesn’t want me in his country. “Get the Fuck out of my Way?”
And I just keep asking myself where can I go.  Where can I go to get away from Justin Trudeau.
Meanwhile my brother has cancer and I’m praying and thankful for the doctors and nurses and yet frustrated by the delays.  Everywhere these days, like in all communist countries, there are line ups and waitlists.  I don’t want my brother to wait.  I don’t want my patients to wait.
But I’m also old and we’re all dying.
So Justin reminds me of me when I was a stupid young man and voted for his father. My father thought I was an idiot.  “You’re not living in Quebec. The Liberal Party is only for Quebec. “  “You speak English and you’re living in western Canada, I wouldn’t mind if you voted Conservative or NDP but you’re a fool to vote Liberal.”  We didn’t know about communists back then. The Wall hadn’t fallen and all the secrets about the USSR and the Gulag were hidden. We thought Pierre Elliott Trudeau, a great intellectual. Paul Johnson hadn’t written his book, Intellectuals back then, showing the poverty of the Intellectuals and their hypocrisy.  I really was affected by the red carnation.  I didn’t know that the liberals took the blue out of canada with the rape of the flag.  The communist red colour was all Trudeau cared about.  I’d not heard the song “I guess that’s why they call it the blues” back then.
I was as young and stupid as Justin Trudeau back then.  My wife was a thousand times more beautiful and smarter but we were both always working and couldn’t afford to dress her in ten thousand dollars suits every day like Sophie. She’s a model for Sex in the City. I think it’s great for the fashion crowd in Canada. She’s marketing their wares and taking home the spoils.  It’s just that I always remember how much my wife worked to buy that first Holt Renfrew Suit . It was months of savings.  We were interns and residents back then and she needed some clothing for a special occasion. She was prettier than Sophie will ever be after a night caring for a dying neonate.  I was always so tired and so poor and such an intellectual and we couldn’t have children.  There was always the abortion in that story.
Women didn’t have choice. They couldn’t afford to have kids. They had to work.  When I was young one adult could support another adult, two children and own a house and car. Now only Justin Trudeau and Sophie can afford that luxury.  Most women just get abortions.
And they’re bringing in physician assisted suicide and the health care system doesn’t want to pay for pain meds and we’re being told not to prescribe oxycontin and my friends working with the dying are being discredited for prescribing too much pain killer.  It’s like when I found 4 brain tumours after ordering 6 MRI”s of the head and got a letter demanding that I explain why I’d ordered so many tests.  It didn’t matter that I saved lives.  It was all about the cost.  If I spend money on patients then the administrative staff can’t get their new computers and trips to the bahamas for staff meetings and all the other perks that eat up the health care budget so doctors and nurses haven’t anything for patients who are crying where only we hear them, administration never anywhere near the front line.
My soldier friend told me about counting bullets in Afghanistan and thinking about the fat cats in Washington DC.  There’s no rationing bullshit in the higher ranks.
But ‘authority comes from God’.  My psychiatrist friend says that I must ‘trust in the Lord’.  I think of the early Christians with the likes of Herod and Nero.
then I think of Carl Jung and these ‘archetypes’ are externals of my own internal world. Justin Trudeau and Sophie are just the negative parts of myself that I have n’t owned. Satan is just the ‘shadow’ the part of yourself that you haven’t forgiven.
I keep hearing stupid people tell me how Canada’s reputation in the world is great now because of the journalism and media crap.  They were ‘ashamed’ we weren’t taking more refugees.  They have this weird idea that the ‘world’ actually thinks about Canada. I loved living over seas and reading the newspapers around the world and seeing that Canada wasn’t mentioned.  Not even in the news in London or Istanbul or Tokyo. Yet the literally psychotic marketing of the liberal party is as bizarre as those people who say we must walk gently on ‘planet earth’ , ‘she’s a goddess’ and ‘feels your anger when you stomp’.  Meanwhile I’m thinking of the great stomping Tom Indian dances I  went to at the rodeo and this fruitcakes are thinking that Canada is the centre of the universe because they live in outer podunk and that the planet is conscious of a footstep. Yet they think Christians and Jews and Buddhists and Hindus are nuts for their beliefs.  Half the time these people are telling me they’re atheists or secular but their ‘god’ is money or the ‘stock market’ or their latest cosmetic vegan diet. They’re all just consumers and critics and I hate to poke their balloons but they’re idiots with a whole lot of google nonsense in their heads and mainstream media program.
I talked to an old journalist and we reminisced about the days of the Winnipeg Free Press. “I’m ashamed of what my profession is today” he said.
It’s not Trudeau. He’s just the outer trigger.
18 years ago I smoked my last joint.  I think he’s still smoking dope.  I’m glad I didn’t drink the kool aid.  I stopped smoking cigarettes. I stopped the legal and the illegal smoke. I stopped smoking. My whole body, this being that is me, this sacred temple that lives on breathing, thanked me. I’m breathing fresh air today.
I think of Justin Trudeau smoking with his friends.
I’m not envious.  I’m just sad.
More and more people are smoking these days
And we worked so hard to stop the tobacco companies. Those psychopaths in the boards, the killers of their own people, we fought them. Now they’re putting their money behind Trudeau and marijuana.
Up in smoke
Sulfur smells.

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