Friday, August 7, 2009

The Brain That Changes Itself

I heard about this book for months before I broke down and bought a copy. I'm a psychiatrist. I treat brain injuries. I'm up to date with the research. I read scientific articles. I've spent hundreds of dollars on neurology textbooks and have the excellent APA, Textbook of Traumatic Brain Injury. I'd rather read another Harlan Coban novel. Why should I spend more money on learning medicine when I've never been compensated for all my extra study to date. I'm making less money than I made as a gp. Yet I kept hearing about this book and this guy Norman Doige. I hated him by the time I went to Book Warehouse because the latest doctor to recommend it said they'd got it at reduced price there.

I hate Norman Doige even more now that I've read most of his book. The first chapters were brilliant. Everything I knew or could see was coming he was ahead of the learning curve on. All the really cutting edge thinking was there. The plasticity of the brain. The brain healing itself. The brain research that shows that the brain will re wire around areas of damage. It's all there. It's got the history of the struggle for change in understanding, the names of the greatest researchers and all the nitty gritty.

I just photocopied a chapter for a patient. That's how good it is. Awful. Norman Doige is amazing and this book is a must read for anyone whose interested in the brain. It's so well written it's an easy read for anyone with college level training too. Not only does Norman Doige know all this great stuff, he communicates it extraordinarily well.

I'm late to love this truly admirable man so am writing this now just so others may be ready for his next book as he'll hopefully write another if he hasn't already. The Brain that Changes Itself is already a classic.



Thursday, August 6, 2009

Spiritual Books and Writers




















Of course there is the Bible. But what else does one read to grasp the essence of the spiritual path. There's countless books, really. And tapes and cd's that all help to remind one that there's more to life than what's mainstream television and news. In the study of medicine and psychiatry and addiction I learned so much more about solutions to what the news told me were mostly problems. Similiarly in the spiritual writings I gained hope and insights and felt that I wasn't alone. I loved the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps and 12 traditions when I read them. These were a bunch of down and out drunks who'd banded together to find a spiritual solution to a hopeless incurable illness. Millions later would find the same solution. Dr. Carl Jung had told them that "SPIRITUS contra SPIRITUM", the Holy Spirit beats the Spirits. Goin to church and Sunday School gave form to my childhood and youth. Principles and stories were embedded in my understanding of life. It wasn't all just 'dog eat dog' and the man or woman "with the most toys wins". There was spirituality behind Bach's music I so enjoyed. Handell wrote his music to God. I loved the Beattles because they too were spiritually seaking. "My Sweet Lord," will always remain a comforting frustrating spiritual song for me. Leonard Cohen's music captured me early as he sang of stories from the Old Testament and talked as a prophet. I read Rumi and T. S. Elliott and found over and over that as I did I somehow heard the baying of the Hound of Heaven. Studying Buddhism I enjoyed Herman Hesse's Siddhartha and Journey to the East as much as Trungpa or Thomas Merton. Milton's Paradise Lost brought alive the whole of what had sustained the Middle Ages and pointed the way for the likes of St. John of the Cross and St. Theresa of Avila. New Age books like Celestine Prophecy, Conversations with God and the Burns movie, Oh God all brought their own moments of enlightenment. Recently I loved the rambling story of The Shack but then I enjoyed the play Caribou Magi by Lucia Frangione. In all these books and writings I find the contemplative. The Martha is there as well but somehow it's the insights of Mary that move me. I want to be closer to God. It's like the greek story of the daughter of the king who would not be caught because she would drop golden apples and her suitors would stop to pick up the gold. I love Song of Songs in the Bible because my relationship with God is like that, a love story, a romance, a struggle, a game of peek a boo. When I'm walking in the light life is good and then I forget and think its really just all about things. I begin to believe that wrinkles and aging and RRSP's are all I am. I loved my mother most for her heart and love my father most for his love. He barely looks like the man in the pictures of what he was like when he was young yet I know him. I would know God in every stone of creation. I would see him in every turn of existence. I mostly would want to remember God in suffering when it's so easy to forget that I am not alone. I love to read the books and learn from the teachers who have lived long lives with much experience and throughout have stayed close to God. C. S. Lewis' book, Surprised by Joy lifted me up on Eagle's wings but his stories of living through the dark days of his wife's death moved me to gut wrenching tears. Life isn't a video game. It's not a shallow unidimensional stream of stock market numbers. It's not the numbers on my social insurance card, my visa or the numbers on the forearm of the Auschwitz survivor. We are all songs and stories and art and numbers. I'm laughter on my best days and think and feel that God is laughing perhaps always. With death I hope to wake to eternal life and see that this was just a kindergarden as psychiatrist Scott Peck might describe this life. When I'm in the moment of Eckhart Tolle I feel more alive and unburdened by the regrets of the past and desires of tomorrow. In gratitude I am most joyful. Jesus said, Love the Lord and Love your Neighbour as Yourself. He was a true democrat and Buber called it the "I and Thou" equation. I say Love adds and Multiplies whereas Fear Divides and Subtracts. Jesus commanded, Be Not Afraid. Worrying is wicked. St. Paul said Pray Unceasingly and truly I'm commonly saying the Lord's Prayer or Serenity Prayer to shut off the insaniety of diabolical fears and insane worries. It's called thought blocking and I learned it first in the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda and Herbert Benson MD. Later there'd be a fancy word called 'cognitive therapy' but the exercises of 'positive thinking' were laid down in ancient times and taught in Sermon on the Mount by Emmett Fox. Dr. Burns' Feeling Good book is just one of the many that show us we don't have to live in the 'bad neighbourhood of our own minds" but that we can clean up our personal thought ghettos. Dr. Willie Gutowski was fond of saying the mind is like a radio but sometimes you have to put the dial on the God Channel and hold on with both hands because it has a tendency to slip away. I'm reading Psalm 23 again these days. It begins, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. I need to be reminded of that. I'm thankful to all these writers and the writings that remind me of the very highest and finest and lightest and deepest of life and love.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Father Ed Dowling

The Soul of Sponsorship, The Friendship of Fr. Ed Dowling, S.J., and Bill Wilson in Letters, by Robert Fitzgeral, Hazeldon |Minnesota, 1995 opens with a forward by Ernest Kurtz. Father Ed Dowling, a Jesuit priest came to Bill Wilson to tell him that he was 'struck by the similiarity of the AA Twelve Steps and the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius."

"Father Ed remind him (Bill Wilson ), to turn his life and his will over to the care of God, and having done this, he was not now to sit in judgemnt on how he or the world was proceeding."

"When Bill asked whether there would be any satisfaction, the older man snapped back, |"Never, Never any." Bill was to be a person who would keep on reaching. In his reaching he would find God's goals, hidden in his own heart."

This is a moving and touching read with deep insights into the "practice of the presence of God" and a delightful tale of the friendship of these two greater than life friends.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Stone of Destiny



This is the remarkable story of 1950's Scottish nationalist Ian Hamilton's daring raid on Westminister Abbey, England to bring back Scotland's 336 pound Stone of Scone, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_of_Scone the legendary seat of Scottish monarchs, stolen by England in 13th century. It's history, comedy, romance and an all round great romp. Charlie Cox plays Ian Hamilton and Kate Mara plays Kay Matheson. Billy Boyd, Robert Carlye Ciaron Kelly and Steven McCole play the rest of this bonny bunch of co conspirators in this true story of a tremendous heist. Directed by Charles Martin Smith, it was filmed in Arbrath, Angus, Scotland, UK. The Wild Mountain Thyme soundtrack is hauntingly beautiful. Infinity Films Entertainment Inc. http://www.infinityfeatures.net of Vancouver, BC Canada and Mob Film Co. http://www.mobfilm.com of London, UK were co producers. This is a great film! I laughed and wept and laughed some more!



Ian Hamilton quote: As long as a hundred of us remain alive, we shall never give in to the domination of the English. We fight not for glory, not for wealth, nor honors, but only and alone for freedom, which no good man surrenders but with his life.



Sunday, August 2, 2009

IDAA 2009

The conference is over but the year begins. Burns Brady was the breakfast spiritual speaker. Of his many themes Grace and Faith without Works were the two that I heard most. I heard grace explained as I'd never heard it explained before. Grace was the realization that I didn't get what I deserved. He spoke of Bill Wilson speaking to Father Dowling, "Will I ever find peace." "No, " answered Father Dowling, "You are divine dissatisfaction." The message of recovery was that you had to 'pass it on'. You had to share what had been freely shared with you. Burns described his days when he was riding high in a 'power blue leizure' suit, deacon of his churh, a head in his hospital and supposedly should have had everything but inside he felt like nothing. Today he feels a whole lot better thanks to the program of AA and doing the steps of sacrifice and service.

At the end of his tall everyone was stood and applauded many with tears in their eyes after hearing him share the intimate details of his life in recovery and how it began over a quarter century ago. Today he is a source of hope for so many.

The banner of the meeting was passed then from San Antonnio to Buffalo. Then nearly a thousand joined hands in prayer and thanks. Aetheists, agnostics and theists together in praise of a 'higher power' and the realization 'it's not me'.

Rounds of parting hugs and quiet conversations began. New friends, old friends and always "See you in Buffalo." IDAA is probably the healthiest addiction a doctor could indulge in. The main complaint is that we can't have 'more'. But what's surprising about that given so many of the stories we share.

 

2009 IDAA - Continuing Medical Education



The CME this year was superb. Dr. Robert Jiminez opened with a discussion of the amazing integretation of services for the mentally ill and addicted patients in the San Antonnio area. He discussed the integration of the rehabilitation programs with the criminal justice system, the shelters for the homeless and the Mayor's Office, Mental Health and Addiction Services, and Community agencies coming together to share resources. They even have a court room set up in the rehab centre so that alcoholics and addicts who have committed offences can be dealt with more expeditiously. Amazingly the cost saving to the legal system has been in the millions by freeing up overextended resources. At lunch in the Hyatt I just happened to talk to the attractive woman beside me as we waited for the chef to stir fry our meals. She turned out to be a lawyer in the District Attorney's office and when I told her about our course expressed really positive sentiments about the improvements that all were finding came from working together. Stephen Jurd, MD from Australia had presented the experience of the Australian community with the 'addicted physician." He described the difficulties they'd had initially with a behaviouralist psychologist fond of spinning drunks to make them puke. He said "if puking was a sufficient aversive deterrent to drinking, there would be no drunks." However this had delayed the integration of addictions and alcohol treatment services initially. Further a couple of front page cases of a "butcher" doctor who'd killed several patients caught the media attention and negatively affected all physicians with difficulties. "He wasn't even an addict or mentally ill. Just a psychopathic sort and yet his story in the media made everyone fearful of any doctor who might have problems." Despite these set backs the Australians now had an excellent rehab and monitoring program . Dr. Michael Kaufman from the Ontario Physicians program had come down to help set up a model physician rehab presently operating in Victoria. They all incorporated AA but in addition had the latest in urine drug screening as well as blood monitoring.


Randle Adair, MD presented on Anorexia/Bulemia showing that the brain imaging results for Anorexia clearly showed impairment in body perception similiar to what is seen in stroke patients who disown parts of their body. Obesity however was principally an addiction which responded to the same approaches that worked so well for alcoholism. It was a superb presentation with pathos and humor and many people sharing that it really spoke to their own issues or those of their patients. The key was that Body Mass Index really did directly correlate with longevity, quality of life. So many medical and surgical illnesses and costs derived directly from over eating and eating as a substitute for love and a way to address anger and anxiety.


Dr. Gordon King gave the most in depth discussion of the Neurobiology of Addiction. With slides of rat brains from experiments, pictures of the neuropathways of reinforcement, the different drugs and how they affect Dopamine, the Amygdall and Nucleus Accumbens role in addiction, he said it all. My brain was literally reeling with the massive down load of information that he shared over a couple of days of presententation. An excellent speaker and he did his best to make the cutting edges advances in the understand clear for most of us struggling with the very ideas of down and up regulation in addition to competing neurotransmitters and membrame and intracellular sites of actions. The knowledge of this brain disease has expanded exponentially.


Dr. Author Merrell gave a clinically relevant and very helpful presentation on the Pharmacotherapy of Addictive Disorders. He began by showing how much money and effort is spent on treating diabetes and heart disease and expressed his heart felt opinion that we need to put the same effort into what is essentially a lethal and too often terminal illness. To this end he pointed to the various medications which have helped recovery. He made a strong point that these medications needed to be used as part of an overall treatment program. Just as exercise is coupled with medication in the heart programs he expressed the need to couple AA programs with medications. He discussed the proven benefits of naltrexone, topamax, buproprion, as well as looking at the future medications that are beginning to show promise. In addition he discussed sympton management of those people who despite havinga very good recovery program may need medications that themselves are potentially dangerous. In this regard he asked the audience how many judiciously used medications such as ritalin for adult ADHD, or sleep medications or even pain medications and the vast majority put up their hands. With that he talked about the pros and cons of medical intervention but overall made the strong point that in face of what is lethal a doctor needs to consider any option that shows promise when all the traditional treatments aren't working. It was an excellent thought provoking and clinically useful presentation.


Vern Williams MD discussed the difficult subject of Detox from Opiates and Benzodiazepines. The Michael Jackson story was often a topic and the fact that prescription drug abuse was so prevalent was often a topic of the meeting.


The IDAA website at http://www.idaa.org/ has much of the material which was presented and I was glad to be able to get speaker cd's to share with colleagues who do similiar work to mine and will appreciate the update. The CME alone was worth the trip, though I think having the Alamo across the street, the River Walk of fine restaurants and great shops, seeing old friends and sharing a year of catch up as well as historical trips of Missions and riding a 2009 Harley Davidson in Texas made the learning a tad 'less dry'. In AA we distinguish just not drinking as 'dry' because the same restlessness, irritability , and discontent (RID's) remains. Sober in contrast is what comes with recovery and refers to being 'joyous, happy and free' with "life on life's terms'. The CME was exciting and enjoyable and provoked much inter meeting discussion. I'm looking forward to reading the handouts and looking up the references given.

Next year, Aug 4 - 8, 2010 this conference is in Buffalo.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Harley-Davidson 2009 Electro Glide Ultra Classic




Cowboys Alamo City Motorcycles have a main building with bikes on the 168 exit of Hwy 35. They also have a downtown San Antonnio shop by the River Walk which sells their accessories. I phoned Greg earlier in the week and reserved a bike. It's only $125 to rent a harley for the day. The problem is that you have to put down a $2000 security deposit as well as being responsible for the first $2000 in the event of theft or major damage. That said the bikes which are being rented out are $25,000 machines. Greg gave me a 2009 Harley-Davidson Electro Glide Ultra Classic. I own 1200 Roadster but hope one day to get a touring bike. Renting is the best way to really test drive a bike. I'm down to wanting either the Electro glide or Road Glide because I've been told the Road Glide has more stability on the road because of the different way the ferring is mounted. Right now I'm thorougly in love with this Electro glide.




A hundred miles on the Roadster and I'm tired. I put 350 miles in on this touring bike and could have kept going for that and then some. I was a little wobbly getting out of the parking lot with everyone watching me but once on the road it was a different story. There's shake at low throttle but it smooths out immediately. And at high speed 'glide' is the right word. There was so much power I was going with the traffic at 80 mph before I realized I was over the 7o mph. It just seemed to want to ride north of 80 like my 1200 likes to ride around 60. There's that much more power. I had to consciously keep the throttle down but passing I was a rocket and once getting out of danger I think the guy who didn't see me as he was pulling over thought I materialized in front of him.




I got lost coming out of San Antonnio and rode some 40 miles west before realizing I'd miss the turn from 35 to 37 which would take me to Corpus Christi. Corpus Christi is about 130 miles south. I put an extra 80 or so on the bike in addition to the Corpus Christi miles because I had took off on country roads enjoying the arrid Texas scenery and my revolutionary modern horse. It certainly is cowboy country. Would take a Louis Lamour to do justice to describing the land with it's scraggy vegetation. The temperature was 106 degrees. I was glad for my porous HD jacket with the shoulder and elbow armour that fits into pockets in the shell. Most of the other riders I saw were in t shirts and I couldn't blame them. Few wore helmuts. So I gather there's no law in Texas for that. I was thankful that Gred gave me a full helmut with visor. Naturally a fat bug splatted dead centre just outside San Antonnio necessitating a pull over to clean my view.




I rode down to Corpus Christi crossing the bridges to Padre Island. Unfortunately because of getting lost I had no time for the planned lunch, only a bit of time to walk the beach before heading back to check out the Corpus Christi Harley Davidson for the essential HD T shirt. Been there, got the T shirt. I love the Harley T Shirts which I pick up from the places I go. Part of the fun of Harley is just that. My friend Laura is glad to have me bring her gifts from Harley too. Easy shopping with the girls in Harley glad to help.




I also saw a Pelican and saw the Gulf of Mexico. That's exciting, coming from Vancouver and the Pacific Ocean.




It was a hurry to get the bike back to Greg. The stereo was great and the way the switches were set up was not at all distracting. I loved the guage for fuel too. Not the guess work I have on the Roadster.
What a rush to ride a thoroughly amazing machine. I am so impressed. Wondered how I could get by trading in my truck and Roadster to get that Harley. Maybe I don't need the truck.
At the doctor meeting I'm attending everyone asked about the ride and I gave them a glowing account.



Nothing like a Harley to give a man motive for work.