By Algodones Road and Alamo Canal, US Mexican Border, Day 15

I had a good day yesterday, church and Meeting, and looking for a miniature microwave,  high speed Vespa Freeway ride with buffeting winds, walks with Madigan off leash in the wilderness, I fried a steak because wind kept putting barbecue out.  Watched Utah Western series and am enjoying it.

Slept well

Woke up refreshed.  Looking forward to work, service and purpose.  I’ve been texting Laura. I was pleased to get the purses and gifts off to the girls with UPS on the weekend. .  Mission accomplished.  Just a good time with little pressure.

I ‘m at risk of being ‘bored’. I think that’s different from the untreated state of the addiction “restless, irritable and discontent’.  I need to be more grateful.  I also need to encourage people to share. It was easier doing analysis with the free association or hypnosis, ‘this chat, not chat’ relationship is difficult

Many patients believe their role is to give detail upon detail about their discontent. But the doctor only needs enough information to make the diagnosis. Physically it would be like a patient with a bullet wound wanting to give a Tom Clancy tale of the event when the doctor has made the diagnosis and wants to get the bullet out.  

In mental illness a lot of people with addiction want to discuss anything but their addiction and attribute their symptoms to anything but their addiction.  When the doctor says you hit your wife and kids because you were drinking the patient wants to discuss , the difficulties of the wife and kids, the way their boss spoke to them, the government, the weather, the way their parents treated them.  Millions of dollars of health care spending was wasted by well intentioned care givers who didn’t know to say, “l’ll look into perhaps considering another MRI at public expense when you can show me a clearn urine.’

The degree of denial with addition is delusional.  I have patients who are on their second nasal septal repair and deny a problem with coke.  It was the COPD and smoking. Metabolism, obesity and overeating. 

I do a lot of Palliative care and harm reduction.  I’m hoping to be there when they are ready to make serious changes in their lives for health. I certainly don’t judge since I’m not getting the exercise I need.  This last week after months I consistently walked more than 5000 steps but have only made 10,000 on one day. I’ve not done the stretching yet and I’ve not relearned tai chi.

I liked Cunk when asked ‘what are you planning in 5 years’, she responded “I’m just trying to get to Friday’.  That’s me.  My aim is more inpatient meetings here.  

Thank you for this day. Thank you for wakening. Thank you for the air. Thank you for Madigan, Thank you for coffee. Thank you for heat and sun. Thank you for mobility and walking, Thank you for vehicles and travel. Thank you for Laura. Thank you for family and friends.  Thank you for Canada and thank you for the United States and Mexico.  Thank you for dentists. Thank you for food. Thank you for coffee makers. Thank you for indoor plumbing. Thank you for this camper.  

Thank you God. May I know you better today and serve you.

Thank you Jesus. 

 

Yuma, Best Western Mall. Hotel,Sunday

I am thankful today.  I slept from 10  pm to  1 am.I woke with pain, got up peed, took a second ketorolac and flerxeril applying Voltaren to my left hip and thigh.  The voltarren has recently helped me get back to sleep. Now I’ve woken at 8 am, a littlee groggy but better. 

I am so thankful drove to Algodones and parked on the American side walking over with Madagon.

I wrote in Pages about my most enjoyable day, getting more of the feminization hormone, more ketoralac and even some cialis. It only cost a hundred dollars and I’d expected more like $500. Then I had my eyes tested at the SOL optical.  

I had to wait. 2 hours so shopped along the sidewalk market for gifts. I was thinking of Laura most. I eventually spent a few hundred dollars more in a bit of a shopping splurge.  I love the purses and turquoise stone bracelet, necklace and earrings. I had one set for me and one for her. I also bought these adorable Mother Mary painted painted leather purses .I also bought 2 woven blankets with pink coloring. I decided to keep the lesser one because Madigan might chew the nicer one and it would be horrible. I told Laura she lucked until for that reason.

I loved stttingg in the Mediplaz have ann American cofffee listens to the sound track play ‘these eyes’by tthe Guess who with fond memories of Winnipeg and concerts. 

I literally had spent my last American and Mexican money when I walked to the border crossing.  I told customs I’d bought feminizing hormone and wanting me to show her

Ëstrogen”I said

What’s that she said,

I showed her the package and she suddenly registered what I was saying. She passed me through then

I bought Wendy’s burgher s for us an d a terricc chicken with salad I ate later watching Journey movie with the giant bumble bees for flying horses with birds chasing them.I actually spent a little time in the warm hot tub in my ruffled peach bikini with black botttoms.  A cute couple in their twenties joined me. She was so beautiful and he was so bright but it was clear that her lovely simple blank bikini was chosen partly because it revealed her cleavage. She definitely wanted his attention and by the sounds of their quiet conversation would have it.  

Feeling like an ancient grandmother I left and did thee plunge into the freezing cold water.

It really was a wonderful day with quite the wind blowing sand . I was able to get some more money at Wellsfargo with my Visa. 

Now if I shower and get ready in time I can get to the St. Paul’s cathedral service