It’s me getting older and jaded. I’ve seen so much. There’s little originality. I had this weekend free. I did ride my motorcycle up Burnaby Mountain and circle Simon Frazer University. I thought of going to the beach or lake. I did go to the off leash park with Madigan. I could have gone to festivals. There were many on. Our church had a picnic
I walked the Brunette River with Madigan then the Burnaby River Walk. I’ve begun listening to Steven Fry’s Audio book Hero’s, a follow up on his Greek gods and goddesses. I started a book on the History of Intelligence. I did my book keeping, laundry and mail pick up. I have a buyer for my boat but am stuck on the process. I asked my nephew and he recommended a lawyer . Hopefully that will progress this week. I’m still waiting for my certificates from courses and confirmation of passing.
I’m managing my practice keeping up with the weekly booked work and the emergency calls. Mostly it’s prescription refills.
I am concerned about aging, the pain and weakness in my back and the tremor in my right arm. I took my hearing aid in and the problem with one was resolved and I obtained another amplification device that works quite well as back up. Cyborg man. I am careful not to fall or take risks walking . I see so many with mobility issues and feel a need to be health conscious. I eat well but too much sugar and am trying to reduce fizzy drinks,
I have accepted several obligations above and beyond but resist in general adding more to my plate. My camper is being repaired. I’m enjoying my motor cycle but miss the vespa.
I’m caught between male and female. My dark passenger is female. Jung’s Anima. I sometimes think of her a demon like succubus and other times as the youth to my aging male. She seems to be less depressed and less burdened. She’s lust encapsulated. She might in fact be the party I’ve missed. I look back on a sea of work and struggle with betrayal and foolishness. I am letting go of pride as I manage. Spiritual pride is the toughest with its judgemental ness and false authority. I seek the strength in humility, the alliance with the loving God. So many have died and others have retired. I think of all the women complaining and how by comparison their lives were easy with the children. Relative to heavy lifting and safety of men’s work and irrelevance. Then with regard to patience and presence they have been much more. I find the demands of my dog to play and explore tedious at time but children are all energy and attention seeking. I admire the women who have managed these little bundles of joy and demand. I am truly blessed and pray all day and meditate mornings. I’ve not included the evening meditation I once did with discipline. I’ve not included the exercise I once did in the evening. I watch too much tv and lie on the couch enjoying ice cream with my dog who encourages that behaviour as we share. I barbecued chicken last night too. He loves barbecue.
I feel i have to write the psychiatry book if only to have a means to travel by attending conferences to write off the exploration of art galleries.
It was a good weekend. I’m here with Monday again and a week of work before another weekend. I’ve adjusted my alarm to awake earlier with a plan to write a book this next 6 months. Addiction and psychiatry Yesterday I wrote a chapter in a thriller instead. I much preferred walking and taking photos of the flowers and birds. I saw the blue kingfisher on the weekend. That’s my blue bird of happiness. Each day I ask God to guide me.
I loved learning the new prayer, Thank you for what I had, Thank you for what I lost, thank you for what I have left.
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