Saturday, April 27, 2019

Gratitude

Thank you for the day.Thank you for the sunshine. Thank you for the surroundings.  Thank you for Gilbert. Thank you for work. Thank you for George. Thank you for family and friends. Thank you for this body. Thank you for this life. Thank you for all the blessings. Thank you for ice cream and chocolate. Thank you for the moon and stars. 

I’m thankful for my dreams. They are so much a part of me these days.  Almost like a parallel universe.  I feel the dreams are like Jung described ‘the collective unconscious’.  In my dreams the dead live and those I know and love at a distance are there as well. The message is ‘love’ over and over again in each of the interactions. There’s treasure hunt of sorts going on. I’m finding God and unwrapping bits of myself.

I”m asking to know God’swill and to have the power to carry this out.

I’m thankful now for the cat and dog.My companions.  

I’m thankful for the internet. I’m thankful for Google and DuckGoDujck.I’m thankful for Apple and for PC. I’m thankful for keyboards and l;ogitech.  I’m thankful for my fingers.

I’m thankful for Randy Bachman and Lenny Bareau. I’mt thankful for Bach. I really like the Brandenburg Concertos. I’m also thankful for Handel  I love the Messiah and Water Music.

It’s 3 am.I’ve woken in the middle of the night, a pleasant inspired dream.  It escapes me now. But it was vivid and pure.  Now I’ve the dog and cat beside me.  They make this realm appealing though it’s an odd place of so many relationships. I wonder if I’m playing my part well in the great drama of life. I’m following the script in some ways. I see the writing on the wall at times. I feel I have to ad lib a lot and I don’t hear the stage prompts that well. This deafness and hearing aids gets to me, their glasses and blindness, the aches and pain.  The pain causes introspection. 

Those around me wall themselves in their victimology.  Narcissism is master in so many programs.  There’s the take program going all the time. I understand how the young enjoy the games as there are so many life lessons in the gamers.  Like the song people use you.  I wonder about my own contribution to the whole. I feel at times a great whale with parasites all over him.  I wish they would get off.  I love reciprocity.  So few have evolverd to play that game.  Fear dominates their every move and they explain their taking and hurting today with active and passive andf covert and overt attacks as justifiers by their past, this script they kerep running over and over to themselves priorizing ‘take’. Reciprocity isn’t their game despite their claim. 

I’m mired in this glue. I’m thankful for the games and plays and drama .  The gravity is a bit peculiar. There’s so much weight and baggage. 

Money is such acrntrtal gamer with little giver and a whole lot of take.  I’m struggling with my resentment to government, taxmen, tax collectors,burocrats and the corruptions.  The great casino. This metaphor gone mad.  I wait for the war and am grateful for the peace.  The squeeze is on and its called climate change or any such justification for taking money and freedom. I am thankful for my freedom.  Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. Bobby McGee.

It’s a good life.  I. Would know God more truly.  I would win the lottery and feel the approval windfall’s must give. The universe loves mer because I’ve been given all this money.  I seer the great casino.  The tit of the bank. The great suck.  I imagine Justin Trudeau having such a lark at all our expernser.  

My greatest sorrow today is that my espresso machine died. I pulled out the old stove top but it was’t the same. I’m tempted to take this one back and leave it to be repaired but buy a new one because I don’t lnow I can go a week or two without my recent joy in Ethiopian coffee. 

I am thankful for Ethiopian coffee.  The cat is purring beside me.  lovely sound. Like a tiny throaty Harley.  The dog is sleeping beside the cat.  When I feel worthless I’mremindedf that these two critters appreciate me. I’m their world.  

If it wasn’t so late and my nerighbours asleep I’d get dressed and ride my Harley.  Night Harley riding around a sleeping city is a joy I’ve known in their past.  I’ve been meaning to get over to the beaches.  tt’s been too long since I rode the Harley along that beautiful stretch of reality.

I did clean up some of the storage lockers unloading a bit. Every bit helps. Baby steps.  I don’t really need to do anything just feel like I’m moving in the right direction. I must go through the files, so many boxes of junk that needs to go in a bonfire.   All that once important papers.  I’d throw it out but am afraid I’d miss some identifiying data so it’s the bonfire.  I could scan files but there’s so much that’s extra and unnecessary that files need to be reduced for first.  I have so much work and could pay but there’s no system to connect the buyer and seller.  Everyone wants me to do the lion’s share while they are glad to take the rewards. That’s communist Canada n my mind.  Meanwhile I work and work and work.  IT’s discernment.  I am however fairly happy and satisfied.  So I’m thainkful for that.  I could get bundles of books and take them to the church thrift store.  I’ve lots to give away. I wish I could broker some of my storage and make a profit.  There’s thousands to be made but I don’t want to meet with strangers through eBay.  

I’m thankful for these various systems of business.  

I would be more positive. More graterful. Even now I’m less thankful for this truly skookum blue tooth keyboard than I am pissy about it having a different keyboard pressure than my other.  I’d like them all ‘tuned’ to me.  Naturally I could do that but instead I adapt to what is around me as usual.  

Bullies bother me. 

I enjoy people watching, travelling, writing. I liked my brain injured patient who liked his coffee and talking to young girls.  I see the old guys like this.  A couple were doing a mechanical project near me when I was walking the dog. I have all these myriad interesting skills and I could well have joined in their game and been an appreciated contributor.  I walked the dog instead and talked with my two interresting neighbours.  

I like non judgemental people. I know judgement comes so much from fear and those who abdicate responsibility for their lives blaming others and manipulating and controlling life rather than accepting life on life’s terms .  I like knowing those who don’t sweat the little stuff.  

I’m grateful for the people. The cast of characters.  The likely suspects.

The wind just blew the awning. Woke Gilbert. He barked. The cat sneezed.  I thought of bringing in the sail. I like the writing platform of land. Sailing I ddn’t write as much but loved the boat and anchor and running before the window. Very demanding of attention.  I’d like a train trip .  I loved Ireland.   I have such fond memories of riding on the train as a child with my parents, The Rockies or the Laurentians.  

I miss my little desk.  I’d like that here. I could go looking for my desk at the storage locker tomorrow and find more to throw out.  Certainly I could taker a bunch of stuff from here too.  I need to changer the kitty litter and do the book keeping.There’s all the cleaning to do .

Meanwhile I’ve Bergeron re programming this new mini keyboard. My old one had a dead battery so I replaced it.  I was perfectly happy with the iPads pro but this is more portable thought the keyboard remains a little sticky.  I like the other keyboard because I don’t notice it. The same with the Mac and need with the keyboards at work. It’s the attempt to have full size keyboard in a miniature version. I have to be more aware of where I place my fingers.  

I think there are so many things I don’t do enough.  Swim. Cycle.  Dance.  Hike.  Sail,   I’ve a couple of little boats and I could take them out but I don’t. I’m glad I’m using the motorcycle. The adult toys. Shooting the rifle last week was fun but I would like another day of target practices.

There’s never enough time to do the things we want to.   The singer song writer who wrote that died young.

I’m grateful for this life. Thank you.  

No comments: