New Day and God

I woke this morning before the alarm. I reached out for the furry one whose presence comforts me and reassures me till contact causes him to believe it’s time to jump on my face. I am working on stopping this. It’s a shocking way to wake.  I love him. He’s only a year and still a puppy.  Madigan is my room mate, friend, companion.  A therapy dog in training.  

He doesn’t usually shut off.  Cockapoo’s shut off around two years old.  If I play with him he wants to keep playing.  There’s never ‘enough’ unless I draw the line.  Attention deficit disorder with dependent personality traits coupled with manic depressive tendencies and a touch of anti social behaviour.  He’s a dog. I’m a dog.  We are animals joined to the spirit of God.  Together we are growing.  St. Francis called his body ‘Brother Ass”.  

Our first activity after we hit the loo is to ‘walk the dog’.  Walk the body.  Move the donkey. My body feels aches and pains and rickety and that morning walk is always uplifting. Even now in the cold rainy pre dawn darkness I enjoy breathing.  

I’m thanking God from the minute of awaking.  This Tron like creation, 3d Matrix existence, art remembering art, reality a construct. I am God, you are God, God is all.  I am the little light of the big light. The little bang of the Big Bang.  I’m interconnected with the fabric of existence. All the evidence of elements and vortices and whirls and motion and computer generated space all say that I am a thought in the greater thought.

Creator.

Designer.

Writer.

In the beginning was the Word.  God is that mother ship and I am the saucer, my eyes and my experience part of the whole.  

Time is now.

The motion of all directions is relative.

Owen Barfield, ‘Saving the appearances’.  All the reductionism and control that people use to avoid the sacred.  We are creatures on a planet whirling around the sun in a galaxy in the armpit of the universe.

It’s still glorious. Like a child looking at pond sludge through that first beginner microscope. I’ve known awe. Over and over and over again I have been touched by joy.

I have loved the orgasm of experience like a total consciousness explosion not unlike that lust releasing creative burst of pent up loins in the embrace of a lay promising recreation. I have worshipped goddess both fertile and barren.

I have worshipped all the Gods and the one true God. God of God, very God of Very God.  

I am seeking God in every breath I take.

Jesus Christ, the historical man and the Holy Spirit, the fabric of the universe , the presence and promise. I breathe in and I breath out.  Jesus Christ.  God within and God will come again. I am ever playing hide and seek with God.

I once thought God wasn’t present in my masturbation or my vengeful thoughts. Now I know that love is all. Just as Bach uplifts and tribal music incites the sense to rebellion today I seek for the heavenly knowing that those who find heaven are no longer naive.  Perhaps the innoscnt child but the ignorant is not going to know heaven on earth.  There are consequence.  The more I am inhuman and inspectoid the less I can know the celestial spheres. I love that soft heart place within that causes me to cry in empathy with other sufferers.  

Kiekegaard said, “Life is suffering until death’.  To live is to suffer.  

I can dance and sing and serve and still I suffer.

Anxiety is a measure of one’s distance from God and equally a measure of one’s humanity.  

Existential angst.

Now older I face death, an intellectual construct. Just because others die does not mean I must.  I can be the exception. I also can know death as a passage, from this cocoon state to the butterfly state beyond.

Matter is slow energy. Death is a leaving of the body I have invested with soul. I am a hitchhiker.  I may pass to another body or another way of existence.

Yet today I linger on regrets of earthly matters.  Court things. You are poor if all you have is money. I have some kudos and some titles and some status whereas once I was young and had confidence but no real cause for my courage and fearlessness.  Today I still see what I lack and must force myself to praise and gratitude. I have been blessed.

Just for today. Yesterday is a memory. I can rewrite the feeling state and sing the body electric. I can celebrate my existence. It’s been a good life. I have learned so much and forgotten more. I have served and lived and loved.  I am titled and rich in experience and have had so many skills and learned so many lessons.  I still seek God.

The Creator. The script writer. I long to know the producer. I want to meet the mind beyond.  I will in death no doubt but now in the last third of life I would be more in tune and in touch.I’d be more free.  Thy will be done.  I have done ‘my’ will and the ‘bondage of self’ has limited me.  Yet I do not wish to ‘go gently into that still night’ .  

Dance.

Laugh. 

Sing.

Keep moving until they throw dirt on you.

Thank you God for another day.  May I serve you this day as always.  Guide me.  

Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the music.  

I want to feel you in my step and in my voice.  I want to sense the music like a great cat as I move and hear the symphony of song in each word. I would Channel you God.  Lift me up on Eagle’s wings!!!! God of love and creation.  Thank you Jesus!

  

Gratitude, home,

I’m grateful to be back in my home. I’ve had a week of travel with family and a week of hunting in the camper with Laura.  Madigan was a going concern but now is settled down again in his usual haunts.  The routines are returning. I’m grateful for life and liberty.  I’m grateful for purpose and direction. I’m still feeling that I’m in a waiting room ready to be called, like a hockey player on the bench. I’m doing the next right thing. 

I take reassurance from the Hound of Heaven. I am seeking and present. It’s just that the relationship is in question. Not just the gender of God. I pray Our father but even that relationship is like the relationship with my own father.  We have a friend in Jesus. I was my father’s friend. My brother was more so. My brother’s relationship with his sons was more a friend.  I pray “Lord’.  That’s mostly my relationship with Mother God, Sister God, Friend. I have a friend in Jesus.  I’m more like my dog. He’s ever screwing up, climbing on the table, chewing the wrong thing, addle brained. He gets it right a lot and I experience joy in his company but he really is a nut bar. Maybe Master is my relationship to god, a kind of pet. A dog not a cat.

I’m thankful for the air and the scents. I am thankful for the sun and heat.  Thank you Jesus for sacrifice and service. Thank you for relationship and love.  

Thank you for our safety and that we have done all this travel and activity and are alive and well.  Thank you that Madigan is restored to health.  Thank you for his company.  Thank you that Laura is well. Thank you for my family, my sister in law, the nephews and great nephews. Thank you for their wives.  Thank you that we are all still muddling along despite the “wars and rumours of war” .

I long for clarity and guidance. I wish to know what it is I am to do. What is the next project. How much longer am I to work here and how may I do better. I feel I’m at the end of a game and can’t see the window opening as the door is closing.  I can imagine different scenarios.  Mostly I see myself doing the same. For now that’s okay. 

Thank you Lord for this day. My relationship is that of “lord and servant’.   Master and disciple.  Teacher student.  I have a friend in Jesus.  I would have God as lover.  

Egalitarian god.  God as a ‘pocket god’ as Philips describes in your God is too small. God as my servant.  Rescue me, serve me.  yet I pray ‘thy will be done’.  Acceptance.  

This life is sacred and I would know the surprise of joy and the mystery.  Lover God

Dawn

  

BC Hunting and Glamping along the Similkameen River,Riverhaven RV Park

Laura and I and Madigan love it here.  Riverhaven RV Camp is so well managed. Quiet, clean, friendly.  There’s a beach by the river which we didn’t use this time.  It was really cold when we arrived but warmed up the next day with sunshine and blue sky for our stay.  The sunrises and sunsets have been spectacular. Their colour and the colour of autumn trees have been golds and oranges.  The pinks in the sunsets have been priceless.  

I have actually been getting up before dawn and most days made it out on the Honda Ranger 420 as the light came up. I ride the ATV from the camp and up a trail to the logging trails so I like some light to see my way safely at first.  Once I’m on the logging trails I don’t need the light so much. One morning it rained so I waited till it let up and was out at 8 am.  

The highlights have been the beauty of nature.  Such glory in autumn.  I didn’t shoot any game.  The deer were spooky and though I saw several I couldn’t ascertain if the two I thought were bucks had horns before they were gone.  Really exciting moments using binoculars and scope trying to confirm the sense.  I actually saw only one grouse. In my attempt to get Madigan involved, unleashing him from his three point restraint on the back of the ATV, the grouse took off. I did shoot a grouse like bush one evening. A vegan hunter. I didn’t eat my bush but continued home for barbecued smokies that night.  I saw one rabbit but again it was too spooky to stay and let me get my rifle.  By law you can’t have guns loaded on a vehicle so I have to stop, put the ATV in park, take the rifle from the carrier, load it, and hope the game I’ve sighted further up the trail waits for me to shoot.  The rabbit had no such patience.  It’s easier when I’m walking with Madigan to shoot game as I’ve a loaded rifle with safety on. The game was all too smart for me this time. 

The other highlight was a wolf crossing. I saw a cougar up in the hills the last time I was here. This time it was a big grey wolf.  Close encounters.  No so long I could get a picture but long enough for me to look into the eye of another predator.  I had a hawk swoop low over me too and saw lots of whiskey jacks and a few magpie as well as chickadees.

Madigan loved riding around on the ATV.  Whether we were going 40 to 50 km on the logging main or creeping along at 5 - 10 km/hr on the trails he was just the most enthusiastic puppy.  

We’d go for a walk and he’d be so keen to get back on the ATV and up on his seat.  In the morning he was ecstatic when I put on his sweater, jacket and harness on to get going.  We found an old loggers cabin in the backwoods along a stream. These finds are interesting.  I wondered if it might also be used as a skidoo warm up stop now though the construction is rather classic trapper construction.  The wire bed frames make it look more like a trapper cabin.  Some one else had a shack off the main. Looked more like a squatter, lots of mess and poor construction with scrap building materials.   Like something we’d see in town in Stanley Park.  Off the grid for a winter.  The trapper log cabin was a classic though. 

While Madigan and I are up in the high mountains, Laura is back in the camper sleeping in, reading, having coffee and toast.  The Riverhaven has city water hook up and the Adventurer camper has a hot water tank and heater.  There’s grey water and black water sewage hook up.

She likes the clean and easy to keep clean shower and toilet arrangement. I had the most luxurious hot shower in the evening, washing shampooing and conditioning my hair.  The propane heater worked just fine but we also had a little electric heater, 250 versus the normal 500 space heater.  It takes little electricity but is back up for the propane.  I wasn’t sure how long our two propane tanks would last but as it turned out despite being used for warmth and cooking we hardly used a half tank over 4 days. 

 Each night I barbecued. Our propane and electrical refridgerator and freezer keeps everything so well.  I barbecued boneless chicken the first night and had them with finger potatoes, sour cream and butter.  I had the same potatoes when I barbecued steaks.  We had Caesar salad as well.  The last night was barbecued smokies. One afternoon I came home and Laura made bacon sandwiches and scrambled eggs. The Camper propane stove does everything though I’ve not used the oven much. One of these days I plan to make some bread. 

Again we were stationed by the river. Laura loved looking out on the Similkameen watching fish jump and the occasional duck swim by.  While we were away she’d walk around the park and down to the beach. She always felt safe and liked the family who run the camp.  Each evening she’d have some comments on the eccentricities of neighbours.  We’d share stories over dinner. 

Today we’re dropping off the Honda Ranger for storage at Chilliwack RV storage and carrying on with the Adventurer Camper to leave it at Frazerway in Abbotsford, the dealer where I bought it, where these campers are made.   A few weeks back I hit a pothole or a boulder and the tie down to the camper broke when the back end of the camper lifted and smashed down doing some damage to the corner. The insurance appraiser for Guardian came by and now I just need to leave it with Frazerway. It was a fluke accident on a dusty road only going 30 km with a train of trucks behind me annoyed with my slow speed.  I’ve arranged with a hitch place to fix the truck connector which broke at the welding. I’m going to ask if they can come up with something better to avoid a future problem. Harrison East logging road is a main but it’s a particularly hard road because of the traffic.  

We’ve had a terrific time.  ATV’ing on logging roads with steep precipice drop offs to the side requires focus and concentration.  It’s a marvellous distraction that keeps one’s mind on the present.  I normally with work have so many things and many unpleasant on my mind so just atv’ing with the great companion dog is a wonderful relief.  I loved the photography. The nose candy scents were sweet. Cut wood smells where they’d been logging, hemlock and pine, the musky scents by river.  Here and there a real fragrance like a man’s cologne.  Old spice or Navy scents that the best French perfumer have yet to capture.  Beyond Chanel.  I just stopped often and breathed.  Madigan and I also had great coffee breaks with the hot coffee thermos when we’d share a granola bar.  Funny guy likes coffee and granola. I share the granola but he licks the thermos or cup if I’m not careful. 

I would have liked to have shot some game but still I can’t complain about a fabulous wilderness vacation spot with a glamping Riverhaven RV park juxtaposed with the ultimate backwoods wilderness trails. In the summer there were hikers and cyclists.  Laura said one couple took off after me on electric bikes.  There were a few hunters with ATV like me and we admittedly competed as to who would get going first in the morning.  A lot of the other rigs were just here enjoying camping, sitting around fires at night. I’ve been coming here for decades but it’s best now with the new management. 

People who care make all the difference.  When I’m out here in the woods I love my fellow man because things like the smooth running and upkeep of this campground depend on a family that cares. My Honda keeps me alive. Ruger makes the rifle I can depend on. Frazerway makes the Adventurer camper that gives us a home away from home experience with all the amenities.  I was able to use my iPhone 12 from the top of the mountain letting Laura know my lat and long when I was up Evans road. Though I had my Nikon most of my pictures are taken with the iPhone 12 skookum camera. Every piece of equipment shows the care and love of conscientious workers and thoughtful people.  I have a lot of gratitude when I’m camping. In the city I can take things for granted and the stupidity of politics and administrators can obscure the amazing feats of progress. William Shatner was actually in space last week.  Meanwhile I was looking at a trappers cabin, the kind that have been used in the Canadian wilderness for three hundred years or more.  

It’s been a great long weekend end. Thank you, Creator god.

Quad versus Side by Side for hunting

First, 500 cc is enough power for hunting needs for one person.  I’ve had Polaris 500, Yamaha 450, Honda Pioneer side by side 500 and now I’ve a Honda 420 Rancher They have all been great machines.  

The advantage of the Pioneer side by side was the roof and enclosure. I was hunting a lot with a friend and two big guys riding on a quad doesn’t do it.  A little girlfriend, a dog, or a child works just fine.  The Pioneer was perfect.  We had sufficient room for us and our gear and the dog.  It was perfect in cold weather because the enclosed inside heated up from the engine heat.  The windshield was great in rain.  It was however like having a little ‘car’ in the backwoods. Before I could afford ATV’s I hunted on foot, stalking, in ambush and only had a Broncho or a Sport truck.  I felt like I was driving a little Jeep in the side by side, cut off from nature. It was the same when I had a side car motorcycle. The ‘experience’ of two wheels was missing.  With a quad I feel like I’m riding a horse.  Hunting with an enduro motorcycle required too much attention to the road whereas the quad lets me look all around.   

If one is mainly taking passengers then the 750 or 800 might be better. We found the 500 Pioneer sufficient. To my mind nothing  beats the quad as a hunting platform..  It’s has the joy of an off road  motorcycle but gives the stability for looking about while driving. It’s easier to park the quad or side by side than a two  wheel when game is sighted and you go for the bow or gun.  For comfort stick with a truck

My old cockapoo partridge hunting dog preferred the truck. When I’d unloaded the Pioneer he would jump back in the truck. He liked the comfortable seating. The side by side seats are like cafeteria chairs and probably would benefit a cushion. I can sit all day on the quad.   I definitely could hunt more comfortably in snow and rain with the Pioneer but I could dress for the Quad and be more in tune with the environment.That’s why I went back to the quad. 

I love the Honda 420 rancher because it’s lighter weight. I can do 50 km/hr  backwoods with it and 60 km/hr with the 450 and 500 but I ‘m not racing when I’m hunting.  Mostly I’m travelling at 10 to 15 km/hr. I’ve carried deer on the 450 and my friend carries moose out on his. So far I haven’t had to face the problem of carrying out moose with the 420 Rancher.   I’m hoping to put my Rancher to the test and believe it will be up to it.  So far I’ve only had it this year and it’s only had to carry me, the dog and  grouse and rabbit.

With regard to accessories, I had a windshield on the Polaris and admit that was sweet in rain and snow. I had chains for the Polaris and that was especially good in snow. I don’t like hunting in heavy snow now.  If I wanted to do this more I’d get a snowmobile though the Polaris with chains worked really well.  I don’t have a lighter /USB charging port on this Rancher and expect I’ll have one installed. That was on my previous machines and I really appreciated it. 

I did have hand guards added to the Rancher and missed the heated handles I had on the Yamaha. The Honda tires that come with their machines have all been sufficient but there’s an even more gnarly set I’ll probably upgrade to one day.  I had hard box luggage compartment on the back of the Yamaha and Polaris and loved it.  I could have gone with that again but instead chose soft Kolpin bags. The hard compartments were a thousand range whereas the soft which works great were only a couple of hundred dollars. 

I really do like having the stacking square gas tank. I used to carry a spare can buggy corded onto previous machines. This is way superior.  I have had the gun clamps on all my quads whereas the rifles and shotguns stood in the Pioneer much like they do in the truck.

I carried a chain saw mounted to the back rack but the mud splash was an issue. I used it only once or twice.  Now I’ve a folding saw and axe I take along. 

I had a muffler which reduced the sound on the Yamaha but after a couple of years it rusted out. I don’t know it was that much of an improvement. 

I did have a WARN winch installed on the front of the Rancher with the Honda kit.  It’s the third WARN winch I’ve had on my machines. I ‘ve used it to pull trees out of my path. It helped me pull up quarters of elk from down a ravine. That last deer I shot from the truck, Wel,  I had to use the winch from the Yamaha to get it from the ground into the truck bed. I’d loaded the ATV that night early and was driving out at dusk when I saw the deer and shot it. I expect I’d have had to quarter it to get it into the truck bed without the help of the ATV winch.  

I’m an older guy now.  It’s been decades since I carried a deer down a mountain side on my shoulders. When I was young I carried moose and deer on pack boards out of the woods for miles. I ranged everywhere and was in place in the dark before dawn and hunted till after dusk. Now my knee and back hurt and carrying my rifle a mile or two is work. I used to carry a pack sack too with thermos and such. I like that the ATV carries all that.   That last mule deer I shot just driving in my truck, a couple of hundred meters from the logging road, just about did me in getting it back to the road onto the truck  So now I’m ‘road hunting’. I may ride or walk but I’m looking for animals that are close to the road.  

I got more game when all I did was stalk and sit in ambush but I have a hell of a good time riding the Honda 420 Rancher on the trails.  I’d be an old fool if I shot anything too far from a road today It took me all day to get the quartered elk out to the road.  Besides the grouse and rabbits prefer the logging road.   I’m happy enough to shoot them. The dog’s just as excited.  The truth is my Honda 420 Rancher makes for a great hunting experience.  People who don’t even hunt get them to ride around in the backwoods.  That’s how much fun they are.

Holiday Inn and Suites, Kanata, Ontario

This is a superb hotel.  The service when we arrived was excellent, friendly, welcoming.  We were staying there for a wedding. We’d miss-booked our time and needed an extra day. Realizing the error a day before they were wonderfully accommodating when I phoned.  

Given it was Covid everyone was practicing proper procedures, masks and cleanliness.  Just doing the right thing. Nothing overboard or intrusive.  Legal and responsible.  It all felt right.  Reception was even extremely welcoming of our little cockapoo Madigan.  Dish water bowls for various sized dogs in the lobby even. 

The room was exceptionally clean.  The view of the city was terrific.  On the 7th floor we had incredible skyline views. We loved the sun and clouds each day with the glorious fall colours of the forest below.. 

Wi fi was great.  The television had regular channels and On Demand.  We watched several movies still in the theatre late evening. I walked the dog each morning and put in the complimentary breakfast coupon at Grafitti Restaurant. This was the icing on the cake.  Most ‘complimentary’ breakfasts are not the elegant delicious full meal fare that Grafitti provided.  You could have stayed in the lovely restaurant but we preferred having breakfast in the room so I’d order take out and pick it up after walking the dog.  Eggs Benedict first day was a treat. The maple flavored French toast a  creation.  Eggs Florentine another days was delicious. Then we settled for bacon and eggs or sausage and egg standard with toast and fruit.  Laura loved breakfast and a bath. I had a long shower before we dressed and headed out for the day.  

I left valuable my computer and iPad in the room and nothing was disturbed. Holiday Inn is that kind of safe.

Despite Covid I did get to use the hot tub and  family pool. There was an exercise area with lots of equipment but my work out was walking the dog.  There were lots of trails around the hotel.

Across the street was the Kanata malls extending for 3 city blocks. Lots of fashion and retail, Walmart, Best Buy, Canadian Tire, Marks and PetSmart.  There were a variety of restaurants like Milestones. I was even able to buy the perfect gifts for my genius nephews at Mind Toystore.  All within walking distance.  So convenient. The gas station we used to fill up last night before taking the 30 to 40 minute drive to the airport this morning was only 5 minutes from the hotel. Ottawa central was only 30 minutes drive on the freeway as well.

After days of weddings and family, when we weren’t eating out at the fabulous National Art Gallery Terrace restaurant or friendly delicious nearby Fratelli’s,  we had room service from Grafittis and loved the 5 star meals. After we had great sleeps on the comfortable beds waking to another day of activity.

Holiday Inn Kanata was a great find at a reasonable price with the best of thoughtful and friendly service from the front desk to Grafittis to the cleaning staff.  

Thank you Holiday Inn. I really wasn’t looking forward to travelling during Covid but you made the experience thoroughly positive.  Thank you!

Alan Hay and Megan Mardus Wedding

Alan Hay is the youngest of my nephews.  Son of my deceased brother Ron whose presence I’ve felt all week.  

Megan Mardus and Alan Hay were in England during Covid and made it home thankfully.  Alan’s a child psychologist and Megan, a forensic  research psychologist.  Their wedding last year was cancelled due to Covid.  They’re staying at Hay Bay for now.  This year due to the vaccinations their wedding could go on  at Grange de la Gatineau, Queb4c.  The Grange was a bed and breakfast before covid.  A lovely location.

At Andrews wedding Adell had all the boys get the Hunting Hay kilt, a blue tartan.  For Alan’s wedding the boys were all in the modern Royal Hay Tartan.  My first kilt some 30 years ago was the ancient orange Hay tartan. Next I had the Modern Hay tartan.  Then the Hunting Blue for Andrew’s wedding.  I’ve found that the kilts shrink as I grow older. 

I brought the hunting blue  kilt but Adell saved the day by having me wear Ron’s kilt which had 2 more inches of girth. Covid has not been kind to my pear shape,  Ron’s kilt was a god send.  Adell dressed me in Ron’s cumberbund, bow tie, formal shirt, and  black sporran which matched the other nephews.  My white socks and Prince Charley jacket was all  that  passed mustard with the mother of the groom.  Laura said after I looked dashing.  The Sean Connery look.  I’ve always loved Laura’s generosity.  She loved lovely in a black and pink cocktail dress.  

I was really thankful for Ron’s kilt as it meant I could sit and eat. In mine seating or eating might not have been possible, The last time I’d worn it, Laura had tugged on the strap laughing, “It’s like getting a  girl into  skinny jeans.”  I was not amused. I must exercise more and eat less.

Megan was gowned in a lovely traditional German red dress with white petticoat and white veil.  She had 4 inch high heals which were a challenge in the outdoor venue.  She did well. 

Poor Madigan on arrival was swatted as he attempted to exit the car by a ginger attack cat that roamed the parking lot.  He cried out and hid behind my leg while the cat made several lunges which I stopped by putting myself between the attack cat and Madigan . Poor Madigan had never encountered such a monster.  After the initial win he would be plotting revenge the rest of the day until the two of them seemed to call a truce.  

Laura watched Madigan while I went off for the family photos.  Lovely photographer.  Fun to be with the family all in Scottish regalia.   Megan’s bridesmaids we’re in white with spectacular red high heels.  I didn’t recognise one as Megan’s sister I’d met years before. Mulvine was there but we missed Velma. Alan’s friend Justin was there and he was with Nicole Megan’s bridesmaid. I loved seeing Tanya. She’d left Fin and Elliott with his sisters allowing her and Andrew a moment or rare peace.  They radiated love and happiness

Adell looked truly regal with her sparkling grey dress and long hair down. 

I confess I felt I was representing my brother and was doing my best not to be myself.  I resisted quips,  debate,  entendre and repartee. I resisting commenting on Quebec or the present incompetent corrupt national government and focussed on the positive of Alan and Megan wedding.   I was ‘nice’.  Everyone said I was ‘nice’. I suspect only Laura knows the effort that took. I did appreciate Laura saying I was behaving well.   Adell said she really appreciated my being there.  I’m suddenly the oldest in the immediate family. I don’t forgive my brother leaving me in this role. I’ve never acted my age except in work and court. I’ve always dependent on Ron to be the adult.   

Meanwhile my dog to our surprise was a perfect companion and didn’t once have diarrhea or chew on something important.  

Alan and Meagan’s friends from university were there.  I was amused at their youth and had to remind myself that I was the old man. I don’t feel it.  “We’re all nerds,” Alan said and they were indeed an intellectual group.  

There was a wedding mingle bingo in which everyone had to score by answering questions which they’d learn from mingling. I met Redmund , the English fellow through that and learned that Natasha, Alan’s best man,  had her own business making pancakes. I met her brother the suis chef from Vancouver too. Because of covid he’s gone back to school at BCIT to become an electrician.  

The ceremony had a traditional bit of wrapping banners around the bride and grooms joined arms, one from Megan’s family and the tartan one from our family.  Another darling feature was the sawing of the log, introduced by Michael, Megan’s father.  It was an old German village tradition in which the couple demonstrated they could work well together.  I loved it.  

There were speeches with humour and finally Adell and I had to come up. Adell had written some history of the Hay clan and our family which I read with an addition of personal anecdotes, meeting our aunt the Queen’s chambermaid at Holyrood Palace, and Grandad Hay the Reeve in northern Manitoba.  I also read the history of Adell’s Scottish family.  Then she presented the Hay tartan sash she’d made for Megan, a Scottish wedding tradition done by the mother of the groom.  

After this ceremony and standing in the beautiful sun by the Gatineau river with the glorious autumn colours of forest about, we were directed by Adell to head to the National Art Gallery Terrace Restaurant taking along Jodie, the mother of the bride.  Thank God for the iPhone map and the lady vocal direction. Adell had also warned us about the secret agent entrance to the parking lot so we arrived on time in the right place.

The Terrace restaurant required Vaccination passports and ID and eventually let us in. The best was that Madigan was welcome and truly continued to amaze us being a very good dog, lying down most of the meal in his Therapy Dog vest only once and a while popping up to put in nose at the end of the table to ascertain what he was missing. He did also bark at a dog that passed. We were on the canal and watched boats go by.   A truly spectacular and elegant restaurant with retracting heating panels and additions that appeared to allow for outdoor dining much of the year,

The choices were tenderloin or Arctic char.  Laura had the tenderloin and I had the Arctic char. The whole meal was superb,  Pleasant conversation about the wedding, the art gallery, vegetarianism, meditation, curling and aging.

When we left we had just enough juice in the iPhone to be guided back to Kanata and reach the Holiday Inn where we were staying.  

What a delightful day. Congratulations Alan and Megan!

  

Leaving Hay Bay

Alan and Meagan are now in Ottawa.  Adell has headed out.  I believe she’s meeting up with Andrew and Tanya, Finn and Elliott there. Laura is in the shower, her bags packed.  I’ve loaded the Hyundai Sonata Avis Rental, a nice car.  Thankful for the roomy trunk.  Graeme is manning the fort here with the two dogs, Eva and Pepper.

It’s been a whirlwind of activity since arrival.  

I enjoyed walking round the property despite jet lag.  Long walks with Madigan feeling the presence of my brother.  Adell was gracious and beautiful in all her care. She even made pear desert with the pears off the tree Ron planted. I was there. We had such hope and yes life carries on.

I slept. Wonderful dreams despite jet lag or covid or the soul exhaustion from work.  I read novels and slept.  We talked. Family talk.  Talk of weddings. Talk of new horns. Talk of jobs and homes.

I’m winding down.  Laura was a brick filling in.  We had to watch Madigan. He had diarrhea and it cleared with Adell’s rice and chicken but came back when we introduced wet foods.  He’s been a going concern. Not unhealthy.  But laying out puppy pads and getting him outside to poop.  

Emptying the boat of the personal things was a day. Graeme made it possible . He kept me on task as nostalgia threw me up on lee shores or I would take off soaring on tropical trades.  Everyone talked of the diesel smell.  For years I lived it but now I noticed it too.  Sweet and acrid.  

I was going to solo the Atlantic, down to the Caribbean , maybe take the inside passage as I discussed with my brother.  But the shift depth of the channels and my deep keel concerned me.  

“I’m getting old and my boats too big.  I’m think of selling and getting a smaller boat. ” I said.  

The young man from Loyalist Cove Marina said “That what I hear from 85% of the folk with yachts here.”  

It’s the white hair.  I’m of an age where people are always asking if I’m retired yet.  I’ve no real desire to retire. I like the work.  I enjoy the false sense of security that incoming money brings.  Work appeals to me. I’ve changed the nature of my work several times in my career.  I enjoy the patients and the people I work with today.  Virtual work has appealed to me with Covid.  Reminded me of my early radio phone days working in the sub arctic as a fly in doctors consulting to isolated reserves.  I left my Hamm radio and everything that could be used on the boat.  It was all set for off shore sailing with $20,000 in spare parts and new engine and new radio and chart plotter and new genoa.  

All the life threatening moments, the hurricanes, the night terrors came back to me.  I just couldn’t see myself pulling sails up and down like I needed to do in face of the weather.  I suppose I could. I’m not ready to sell yet. But my personal belongings are now off the boat, my journals, my underwear.  If I do sell it this year it’s viewable but it needs a new paint job and a little sanding to clear the rust. I used to bottom paint every year or two and it’s just been bottom painted a couple years back. I painted the deck about 5 years ago. I’ve had the boat sand blasted and painted three times in her life.  I imagined how I’d enjoy working in a boat yard painting again. Those were good days, good memories.

I’ve packed the car with my bags.  We’ve gone through the house looking to see nothing was left.  I heard Laura leave the shower so it won’t be long.  Madigan is excited. 

The sun is shining,  We’ve had the best meals,  I loved the dinner on the deck under the stars listening to the lapping of the lake at Hay Bay.  Graeme had barbecued beef medallions and Adell had made several salads.  It was wholesome and family.  Relaxed.

I am afraid of people these last years.  So easily offended and the authorities corrupt and in everyone’s affairs.  Backing the play of the victim culture.  Who ever cries first wins.  False allegations are the norm and the mainstream are so far behind the cultural wars as to only know when they or their family fall before the legal political machines.  Fringe politics.  

It was easy here,  The only agitators and yapping dogs were the dogs.  Eva is the most vocal, Likes to lie on the couch in the sun and bark at a squirrel.  Pepper then starts running around and barking not knowing yet what’s got Eva going. Madigan took a day or two before he joined in. I don’t think he every figured out what they were barking at but he was glad to join in with Pepper running around in circles complaining and warning and agitating.  I’m so glad that Madigan got to play with his cousins.  I call them aunts or cousins. Seeing them run together on the great lawn was one of my dreams.  I looked forward to watching the dogs cajole in the great expanse of green.  Madigan even took to chasing the ball even as far as I could throw it.  Reminiscent of good times with my brother and the dogs.  Mom and dad now long gone used to love our playing with the dogs.  Sonny, the springer spaniel was part of the family growing up. Then Ron and Adell had Tartan and Rainy before they moved on to kids.  

I feel so alone at times. Then I pray and it’s okay.  There were decades when my life was thick with friends and family.  All young.  This last two years three of my closest friends have passed pretty much taking with them their extended friends and family.  I’m of the age,  

Laura is coming down the stairs pulling her suitcase, Time to take it out to the car and make the last check before leaving Hay Bay for Kanata,  Kanata is another sources of memory and nostalgia.  This week we made new dreams.  Adell’s cooking, the kids and the dogs, and Laura all such a good time.  The boat. I would have liked to have visitted Nick but it was too busy with family.  Wedding preparations and boat work.  

Thank You Jesus.