Canadian Authors Association -West Coast Branch

Another year of CAA high capers was innaugerated at the Howe Street Alliance for Arts Building. Bernice Lever's latest book of poetry, Generations was selling like literary hotcakes. Anthony Dalton's newest publication was also just announced. Margaret Hume opened the meeting then Jean Kay spoke again of Can West the literary event of all time happening in June next year in Victoria.

In a minor aside I was asked to read a bit of humorous writing about a mentally ill alcoholic patient I escorted on a 747 when he loudly threatened to hijack the plane if he wasn't given a drink

Neil McKinnon. Stephen Leacock Award finalist, the main act, read from his hilarious 2006 Thistledown Press book, Tuckahoe Slidebottle, a collection of short fiction which Neil shared was most appreciated by seniors. Age, culture and gender, he explained were strong factors in what we found funny. Discussing the writing of humor he pointed out that Surprise, Misfortune and the Forbidden were involved in what made us laugh. Using the example of a pope on a skateboad as an inconguity he gave example after examples ranging from the speeches of Disraeli to the writings of Thurber and Twain. He said that writing comedy was complex and difficult because comedy was so subjective whereas tragedy could be simple and universal. Describing Tragedy as the movement from Order (the normal place we live) to Disorder (where we escape to) he said Romance was the opposite movement from Disorder to Order. In a contrast Comedy and Madness could be viewed the same way, as opposites in their movement. Citing the absurb understatement, he picked Monty Python's "just a scratch" statement by the man whose arm was torn off . He shared the devices of writers of comedy, such as irony which compares life as it really is with what it ideally is claimed, word games, screwing sacred cows, satire like Catch 22, and funny characters with funny names in even funnier settings. In the end he encouraged us all to write with humor our failures and fears, since there was little humor in our successes and achievements. At that a man in the audience replied, "that gives me much more to write about now!" And we all laughed as Neil had had us laughing together for over an hour with amusing anecdotes, wit, jokes and stories of sexual exploits of 80 year olds and the deliveries of babies at wedding ceremonies.

Neil later told me he came from a little town in Manitoba smack on the border of Saskatchewan. Tuckahoe Slidebottle is about a mythical town in Saskatchewan.

Neil said he and his beautiful wife did spend more time these days in Mexico where he is writing a new book about a constipated lover playing bingo for blessed egg laying chickens.

Perry and Cathy told me the writer's group will be starting up again.

It was announced today that Saskatchewan will be the first province to secede Canada beating Quebec who had previously won that vote. Apparently Saskatchewan complaining of daily traffic on it's once empty highways has booked passage on the space shuttle hoping to escape the noise of Ontario and American Idol tv.

Presence

"Practice of the Presence of God" is a book by Brother Lawrence, one of those classics of Christian Spirituality. My friend Dave reminded me how using the one word mantra of 'presence' each day could help to get oneself out of one's head and back into the moment of awe. The idea is to thereby be God's eyes, mouth, ears, experiencing life rather than one removed, experiencing the experience of life. The latter is the 'critic' always on guard waiting to 'approve or disapprove'. Not like children who trust and learn at miraculous rates with surprisingly few catastrophes given a child's immense curiosity and faith.

The 'critic' is a common offshoot of our present society of consumerism where such emphasis is placed on 'passivity' and the 'omnipotent child' perceives his role as emperor accepting or rejecting life that is brought 'to' him. He or she doesn't participate or go out to life and certainly doesn't hold 'service' as the highest value. Unless you have the job of the emperor's food 'taster' then the job of 'critic' is less altruistic than narcissistic. Yet there is a role for the critic so long as the 'approval' rating outweighs the disapproval. In 'approving' we put ourselves at risk as we are thereby identified with that which we approve of. Those who relish disapproval seek to cowardly distance themselves from life itself and feign superiority, which of course isolates them in a web of their own imagining and self glory.

In practicing the presence one is grateful for all God's creation. While one might discern that a rattle snake is not to be played with as a puppy, the snake is not 'disapproved of' but rather, my participation in playing with it, is. Further, I may not choose to play with the snake but accept that others who may be trained in playing with snakes might well enjoy that past time. I don't disapprove of them or their participation in this odd behaviour to me. Indeed I might be fascinated.

My friend Kirk and I had coffee in Starbucks last night and discussed our belief that the negativity in the world we each know personally reflects the negativity we have not weeded in ourselves. I had more difficulty understanding this when I first encountered the idea in my 20's but now know so well that my own fearfulness on a late night street will indeed attract the predator. If instead I walk as if I have God's protection or a hidden weapon I'm least likely to be attacked by opportunistic cowardly predators. My projections, that which I put out to the universe, how my world view sees and selects from my environment attacts to me more of the same.

Having a very vengeful Jewish friend, having just seen a vengeful Jewish movie, I was about to think of Jews as collectively vengeful, forgetting for that instant all the most forgiving Jewish people I've indeed personally known. Historically there's the most forgiving of all, Jesus, a Jew but before that in the Old Testament there's the classic story of Joseph. His brothers envying him his 'coat of many colours' beat him and leave him for dead but he lives and forgives them.

Only yesterday too I met a man who ate some bad food at an ethnic restaurant so swore to me that he would never eat ethnic food again. That would certainly fix the experience for certain without chance of rebate.

I commonly know people who have a bad sexual experience or relationship and rather than move on looking to avoid the pitfalls inherrent or learn through therapy how they might change they empower the other with blame and remain fixed in the past of their trauma. I meet so many people who stopped "loving" or forsook 'intimacy' and live what Thoreau called "lives of quiet desperation'. Freud described these as 'neurotics'. It was such a very fine word for the anxiety ridden whose fears controlled and limitted their lives more than any others. Paul Simon's song, "I am a rock....I touch no one and no one touches me. " came to mind. The 'safety" of the Howard Hughes and more recently Michael Jackson is just more of the same.

I reminded Kirk of an Auschwitz survivor I'd heard of. She was an experiment of Mengeles and had had the long bones of her legs removed. She carried around after the war telling her story but carrying the message of forgiveness teaching was 'evil' didn't lie just without but 'within'. As above, so below. She was concerned that what had occurred in Germany could occur with any people so long as they projected their own paranoia, fears and hatred onto others.

Kirk was saying that he had to expell his own petty jealousies and negativities and the world he lived in would become a better place. As Scott Peck would say, this world is our kindergarden. Once we learn a lesson, we move on. The lesson of our own anger and fears keeps us trapped in a world of anger and fear until we calm our own passions. We are trapped by our petty fears and rages.

Kirk reminded me of the genius of the "Q" series in Star Trek. Ideas becoming reality. By practicing the presence of God we become calmer and quiet the reptilian brain and the animal brain that are forever scanning for danger. Calm we come in contact with the most human of our nature, that which at peace can know the peace within the universe and share in the celebration of life.

Inglourious Basterds

This is Quentin Tarantino at his finest. A parody of Goebels propaganda films with films within films all in the genre of spagetti macaroni western war film. Jewish American soldiers do guerilla warfare Apache style behind Nazi lines becoming involved in the cinematic plot to kill the Nazi high command. Brad Pitt playing an Apache lieutenant from Tennessee is a great action hero. The amazing Christoph Waltz plays the slick intellectual nazi colonel. Shoshana Dreyfus plays a Jewish girl whose family is killed by the colonel. Dianne Kruger plays a wholly believable German actress. This is true cinema as only Tarantino's genius for art can impart.

Euthanasia

Euthanasia is defined as the intentional killing of a dependent human being for his or her alleged benefit. My main problem with euthanasia is the same one I have with 'capital punishment'. Who decides? Even if the person themselves makes the actual decision are we sure that they were "competent" to make that decision or not imposed on. Ideally the best government is 'benign dictatorship' however the key word here is 'benign' and given the millions or billions killed by governments over the years I'd be hard pressed to consider any government 'benign". Further I've heard literally hundreds of people tell me that they wanted to die and not long after 'changed' their minds. After years of work in psychiatry I know so many people who were once suicidal because the 'pain' was 'unbearable' or their lives simply stank yet today have rich and fulfilled lives and wouldn't think of suicide. Also I've commonly encountered people with drug and alcohol addictions who simply were not in their 'right mind' when they were sure they wanted to die. It's clearly not something I as a doctor want to see doctors involved in because there's that terrible 'conflict of interest'. I remember being similiarly irritated when I heard marriage 'therapists' say that they 'facilitated' divorce. There's the slippery slope phenomena too when a society begins killing for any reason, since killing is so easy, it's hard to stop it, really. The gas chambers aren't that long ago. Euthanasia is cheap too and that's what concerns me. Abortion was the state's cheap solution and very lucrative for the wealthy abortionist doctors. I suspect euthanasia would become one of those highest paid medical specialties like abortion has become too. In contrast, "palliative care" units and nursing homes are expensive. How a society cares for it's elderly and dependent is really a reflection of the quality of the society as a whole. Right now "non active euthanasia or 'assisted suicide" is legal in Oregon, Washington and Montana as well as Albania and Luxemberg. "Active Euthanasia" is legal in the Netherlands and Belgium. I heard one old person complaining in the Netherlands that they were being 'guilted' into euthanasia. I've witnessed too much elder abuse here with families taking advantage of the elderly to take their assets. Even in hospitals it's such a common complaint that the elderly are advised routinely to remove their jewelry before going to hospital because theft from the elderly is that common. Almost as easy as taking a life. Euthanasia is spreading and it's well worth watching carefully.

Bunker Boundaries

"The patients are the enemy," he said.

"I learned in the military, you can't fraternize with enemy. And you don't fraternize with the troops either."

"I thought the disease was the enemy." I said.

"That's where you're wrong. It's the patients and the troops. The troops are the enlisted class. Non commissioned officers. The staff. That's the nurses to doctors. The counsellors and the psychologists are the same to the psychiatrists. It's all in the way you see it.' I certainly saw it the way he did. Class paranoia wasn't a new vision.

"You won't get any respect if you familiarize. And keep your thoughts to yourself. Still waters run deep," he said.

And I knew he was trying to help me. Make me more in his image. But still waters run stagnant too. I'd long ago decided killing was easy. Insects did that. Animals did that. But humans were different in their healing of one another.

He was an administrative doctor. In his alcoholism he'd allowed the politics of administration and the ideas of military power coopt for cheap the idealism that had originally led him onto the hard road of medicine. It had carried him through his early career. Then he sold out. Baubles and power. He'd learned in the military to do as he was told. "Patients were the enemy." He could be depended on by the authorities to make the right decision.

No wonder he wanted me dead.

Sobriety or Dry

I was at the Centre daily noon hour meeting today on Davis street. A handsome fellow told a story of his hearing how a man ate some Russian lizard testes and said that cured him of his alcoholism. Now he didn't need to drink but every few months could have one or two drinks, all because of the Russian lizard testes. The fellow said, "that got me thinking again that maybe I could drink like a gentleman, normally again, with or without the lizard testes." We all laughed. In another meeting I remembered a different fellow saying, "I never drank like a gentleman and wouldn't want to drink like a gentleman if I could." The program is one of 'rigorous honesty' and as we identify with each other's honesty we find laughter in our commonality.

The idea of sobriety isn't just stopping drinking. That's a 'sympton' of the spiritual disease of alcoholism. It's the necessary first step in recovery and all it takes to be a member of AA is a 'desire to not drink." However, if you just don't drink, you're said to be 'dry'. It's like wood easily set on fire and refers to the underlying rage and seething passions that the 'Steps" of the 12 Step program address. Underlying alcoholism is fear and resentment. Why else would people want to take the equivalent of 5 to 10 mg of valium every glass of alcohol. Alcoholics are very up tight 'stressed' people when they aren't drinking. The person who just stops drinking remains "restless, irritable and discontent'. Sobriety, in contrast is about living "joyous and free".

Many people stop drinking. They become 'rageaholics" though or take up another addiction, the common one today being marijuania. But they don't drink like 'normal' people. Normal people don't want to drink more than one or two drinks. Alcoholics who 'don't drink' are forcing themselves to 'not drink' so are 'white knuckling' it. This isn't 'normal'. Drinking to an alcoholic is like breathing. The program of alcoholics anonymous is a 'design for living' that negates the need to drink. It's proven by millions.

The medical studies of those who are abstinent show they not only can return to productive lives in the community working with family but indeed can surpass the projections of success for their cohort. This isn't true for those who 'control' their drinking. More than half of them return to abusive drinking even after five years of abstienence. They appear to have made significant gains in their overall behaviour in most cases but those who 'control' their drinking after a period of alcoholism don't appear to excell but do better than those who continue to drink abusively. For one the liver and heart appreciate a rest from the physical assault of alcoholism on bodily organs.

The community of sobriety though is not just AA for at least a third of adults don't drink and another third never abuse alcohol. It's only a third that are heavy drinkers and increasingly in sobriety there seems little in common between those heavy drinkers and the lives of the rest of society. That third of society is the bottom third where crime, deceit, drug abuse and all manner of human ills breed. While a significant number of this third are well off, alcoholism being a disease that holds no respect for the rich, these are those rich with family problems, whose children are more likely physically or sexually abused, where adultery is rampant, and where workers and employees are least happy in their work. Michael Jackson was a better example of addiction than Dudley Moore in Arthur.

In recovery, one starts by changing one's drinking behaviour and then it follows that one usually changes ones playground and playmates except for the many that follow the lead and end up themselves in recovery. Families and communities have taken just this route.

One doesn't need to take the garbage truck all the way to the dump. You can get off any time you want. Alcoholism and Addiction are 'fun', then "fun and trouble", then just plain "trouble". It's easiest if you get off before the truck takes a dip into the pit. Religion is said to be for those people who don't want to go to Hell whereas Spirituality is for those who have gone and don't want to return. There's a "low bottom' or a 'high bottom' but bottom just refers to the point where an alcoholic gets off the down elevator and takes the up elevator.

For many it's a point of 'incomprehensible demoeralization". It's that place where the promised 'friend' of booze turns on you and no longer delivers happiness and freedom from pain but increasingly causes depression anxiety and pain. The old party of self centeredness and isolation with a bottle and alcoholic friends is over and the new party with the rest of the world begins.

Sobriety is far more than being dry. Carl Jung talked of a spiritual solution. Bill Wilson called it a 'spiritual awakening'.

Spiritus contra spiritum. The higher power conquers the lower power. The holy spirit is greater than the spirits. We step out of the darkness of alcoholism into the daylight of a spiritual life. That's 'sobriety' in the finest sense of the word.

Meager Creek Hotsprings

Meager Creek Hotsprings is one of the penultimate hotsprings I've been too. It's rustic and out of the way with pools made from natural rocks. There are three different main pools, a toilet and change room. When I first came up here clothing was optional. This trip I found was mostly families with small children as well as the young lovers. I didn't take any pictures of anyone else but myself, not just because of vanity but also respect for others privacy. When I was there I was alone in the smallest and hottest pool (middle picture) for a while whereas the other pictures are part of larger pools where a half dozen people were. It has never felt crowded at all not like Radium. Altogether this time there were about 20 adults and a half dozen children. In the old days when a campground was present there might be 50 people at a time but it never felt crowded. I've been up here in the fall when there were only a few of us. Other times of the year it may be more busy. No doubt clothing is optional still for those more confident, younger or just plain vain. With kids about I'm happy in a bathing suit. In my imagination I hear a kid shouting, "Mommy, why is that old man not wearing any clothes?" And the mother answering, "Alzheimers!"

There were beer drinkers there this time despite the signs posted banning alcohol. I think drinking where drinking is prohibited is a pretty good indicator of alcoholism budding or full blown. Thankfully there wasn't any drunkeness but that's usually later at night and the parks only allow the hotsprings to be open 8 am to 8 pm. Probably a good idea given the bears, wolves and cougars in the area which would consider steamed tourist tasty. Daylight hours the predators are generally asleep. To date only the boys and girls wanting to be ravaged have been, by their own kind.

To get there you drive through Pemberton Town Centre and turning right onto Pemberton Meadows Road drive 27 km paved highway to the Lillooet River Service Road. There are alot of signs. You take this to cross a bridge over the Lillooet River leaving famous spud farm country to travel with the Coast Mountains on the right and the Lillooet River on the left. I've seen deer and moose along this road near dawn and dusk. It's a logging road which cars travel all the time despite the shallow pot holes. 39 km along it (don't turn off and up or you'll end in Gold Bridge) there's a left hand turn that takes you back across the Lillooet River. It's an easy 7.5 km drive to the parking lot, a city block walk across the Meager Creek Bridge and then a 100 meter forest walk to the Hotsprings. In 2003 the Meager Creek Bridge was taken out by flooding. The old bridge was replaced by a skookum new one. Recreational Sites and Trails BC manages the hotsprings and charge a $5 day fee. No dogs are allowed for health reasons.

Meager Creek Hotsprings is a bit of heaven on earth.