Thursday Alive and Stylin

I woke feeling better.  Last weekend it was touch and go. I remembered that weekend years back I was just as sick or worse. I bought the Buell Blast needing something to live for.  This last weekend I bought a little inflatable fishing platform.  Very inexpensive by comparison but same idea. An anchor thown into the future to kedge with. I was so sick I slept 16 hours.  2 days ago I began to revive and yesterday got a half day of work in before the fatigue took over.

This fall I got sick on the plane from India.  Then I was flying to Ottawa and back.  Plane flights seem a common theme this year. Also the nocebo of the coronavirus pandemic.  I’m in that age range where a flu can take me out. Malthus was right about poverty and disease.  

Nothing keeps me going forward more than the prospect of camping. I live to camp.   Talking with Laura this week about planning the first trip with the Adventurer Camper out to Harrison Lake. Must call to make reservations 3 or 4 days weekend. If I don’t take the rest and time off well planned I’ll only collapse and cause chaos with sickness.  I just don’t have the stamina or the foolhardiness.  

I’ve been fiscally responsible and worked hard all my life only to watch this government just waste money relationships and resources.  These blockades are causing billions of dollars loss. There’s milllions of dollars of foreign money coming into Canada to disrupt the country.  Everyone is breaking laws including the PM and the Police are sitting eating donuts.  Meanwhile I believe if I jaywalk a thousand police and the who judicial system will fall on me or any other law abiding Canadian citizen.  

The oldest law is the Chinese law of the fish. There are big fish and little fish. The little fish must be fast and numerous.  I’m tired at work of seeing everyone trying to get paid not to work and get me to validate their ‘choice’.All the doctors I know are sicker than so many of their patients but come to work only to be abused by patients angry demanding and entitled threatening and frankly increasingly frightening. There’s an incident weekly if not daily. Unrealistic demands and covert threat of retaliation.  I can’t can’t shake the image of people threatening to kill me and my dog and the lack of concern and in fact the implication that I must have attracted it.  Yes, I do. I’m working. I’m in the public view.  Laura tells me she fears attack on the buses downtown every week and street people grab at her beccause she ‘s small.  Fewer and fewer doctors want to be on the front lines.  Now there’s these criminals blockades and tent cities and tax paying citizens are called the problem. We lack compassion and won’t give up our homes. Meanwhile the activitists are making more money than I am and the natives are even being paid.
It’s tax season so I’m depressed to see my incomes halved and given to Victoria and Ottawa for KY Jelly and Lip gloss, dope, and booze.  Party city for Policians and I feel deeply betrayed.  My taxes going to pay for terrorists and worse.
Weinstein in jail.
Meanwhile there are babies being born and infants thriving. It’s wonderful to see the children.

Gilbert is well and a source of constant entertainment.  

The women in the workplace are positive and humorous.

I like my work. I’m kind of in limbo.  I’m at that retirement age but enjoy making money and fear if I stop I’ll not return. I’d seriously like to pay off my truck.  Never have I known as much as I do today and the challenges at work are always old news. I remember the first scarey time I saw something but now that was 10 or 20 cases ago. Seems a waste to step down and yet I get sick and feel I need a breaks. I need to go camping. Lying on the lawn chair in the sun.  I need the sun. The winter’s are always too long here.  The rain wears.  The days are sunnier though. I’ve no reason to complain. Just bad attitude.  Give your head a shake.  Give thanks. Stop with the self pity.  

I like walking the dog and sitting in the hot tub.

I really want to go camping. I really am looking forward to the wood fire and the barbecue.  I love sleeping in the peace of the deep outdoors   I like walking Gilbert in the woods. This year I’ve this crazy idea to fish more seriously.  Yet I’m looking forward to riding about on the motorcycle with the rifle target practicing.  

I pray. I meditate. I exercise. I’ve really enjoyed sleeping and dreaming. My dreams are so rich in old friends and family and dogs.  I’m often sailing.  There’s always water.  Sometimes there ‘s meetings too.  Even better I’ve met my grandmothers in my dreams.  Lovely ladies.

I really am blessed. Thank you Jesus.  Thank you for all the gifts.  Thanks for the care and love. Thanks for restoring me to life.  Thanks for getting me through the fever and delirium.  Thanks for the faith and hope.  

Can’t wait to be camping.