Sohum Spa, Crowne Plaza, Kochi, Keralla, India

I just returned from the most incredible massage I’ve ever had.  The Indian gentleman was truly a master.  I actually trained formally as a swedish masseuse and learned basic chiropractic techniques when I was a family physician.  I performed many massages and physical treatments until a quarter century ago when I simply stopped.  I’d gone to all the best masseuse in the day as the way to improve technique and train is to experience a variety of massages.  I’ve known deep, Swedish, Acupressure, Thai and a variety of others.

I almost died when I had the masseuse of a NFLfootball team  He was obviously not used to little muscles and almost pierce my body with his iron fingers. On another occasion, one woman couldn’t understand that I really wanted ‘just a massage’ as her skills lay elsewhere.

This was interesting in that it began with me sitting up and him doing a chair massage on my neck and face. Then I lay on my stomach to have the most advanced back, leg, foot, hand, arm, shoulder massage possible.  Technically one is moving lymph fluid back to the heart while also tapping trigger points of muscle tension. He did that but in addition had moves which I expect are related to chakra mobilization. Some of what he did reminded me of acupressure techniques I’d once learned.  

He was also using these long deep strokes made famous in Swedish massage but adding a number of variations which again seemed distinctly different and I assume are the ayurvedic components. It was all simply wonderful.  

I think I looked like Gilbert looks after the girls give him a massage. My ears were floppy and my eyes rolling about in my head.  I was kind of whoozy and he assisted me standing.I was directed to a steam room with a shower. I was told how to turn the steam off and advised that it would be best not to use the soaps but to leave the oils on. I could soap up if I wanted but best not to.

 I didn’t last long in the steam room. Somewhere I wrote of my experience in the steam bath in Istanbul, the Hamman.  I consider that one of my near death experiences. The other was the time I went with the girls to Calistoga in California where the hot mud baths promised to remove all one’s toxins. The girls, true beauties in the day, came out looking refreshed and alive whereas I felt half dead. I need my toxins. After a cheese burger and a beer I revived somewhat.  

When the steam got hot I turned if off and showered.  Dressing I can never understand how I can put a good rifle grouping in a target at 300 yards but can’t seem to get my foot through the hole in my shorts without falling over.

The cost was miniscule compared to Canadian massage and spa treatment. No wonder people come to India for Ayurvedic Medicine. I simply wished I’d taken advantage of the spa on the first day rather than the last.  Laura didn’t want the spa, enjoying being away from people. Her greatest joy has been watching the river out the wall to ceiling window.   She loves the view and all that’s happening, the boats and birds, colours, lightning  and shadows.   

“Three eagles are circling,” she just told me when I came in. 

“Something smells like curry.” she said.

“I think it’s me.” I said.

“It’s a nice curry smell.” she replied. “But its’ making me hungry.'

“Ill order room service."

’That would be great. I’d like to pack for the plane tomorrow. You really are making me hungry."

We’re waiting for curried fish and mushroom pizza and more lime soda drinks.  I’m feeling wonderful.  Kind of like that changeling on Star Trek.  I just need a bucket.  I have the consciousness of play do.