“I’m going to Vancouver in western Canada. It’s not like I’m going to Eastern Canada or the north where there’s people freezing to death. That’s where all the crime we hear on the news is from too. Quebec is ruled by biker gangs and mafia. Not Vancouver. All they have there is money laundering in all their casinos. I’m not going to the casinos. “
“But they have pit bulls running in the streets of Vancouver. I read that. ” Beca said. She really liked Solomon but thought him too sensitive and naive. Beca was a model as well as studying fashion at the college. She didn’t think westerners had any sense of colour.
“I heard they’ve taken care of that problem. I’m still worried about the Beaver Fever though.” Solomon said seriously. He planned to see a travel doctor too because he’d heard they had outbreaks of measles because of all the anti vaxxers. It really wasn’t safe for an African to travel in Canada anymore. Tuberculosis, Syphilis HIV in the Red Cross blood supply, Hep C. All the drug addicts dying from overdoses. Hospitals completely turned over to Heroin injections sites. He really wished he could have gone to another university but UBC was the one offering the course he wanted counselling gay men.
“Are their beavers running around the streets biting people? “ Beca asked. She wasn’t sure what a beaver was but thought it sounded rude for some reason. “There’s huge black bears in Vancouver . I read that. They’re on different streets than the pit bulls and beavers probably. There are big cats too they call cougars killing the children and dogs. They say the cougars chase the young men too. ” Beca was horrified just thinking about Canada. She really hoped that Solomon would change his mind and go some place civilized and fashionable.
‘I think it’s okay if you only go out during the day.” Solomon said, “ It’s just like here in the rural towns. . You only have to worry about the animals mostly at night.”
“ I read the bears and pit bulls are out in broad daylight. Outside of the city they have polar bears so the people living in the igloos can’t even go outside at night.”
“ I’m not going outside of the city, Beca. It’s winter there now. I don’t want to have to get the boards everyone wears on their feet there. I saw them on pictures in Whistler. It looks very awkward. I know it’s a really backward uncivilized place but I’m not going to take any risks. It does look so pretty on the television. I just don’t know why all the white women wear yoga pants, running shoes and back packs. It’s like they’re always ready for some emergency. I think it must be the earthquakes or maybe a tsunami they’re afraid of. “ said Solomon thoughtfully. He was sipping his Ethiopian coffee and realizing how much he was going to miss real coffee. He couldn’t imagine what swill they served in such a place. He’d heard they had an Ethiopian restaurant called Axum so he hoped he’d be able to get some decent food and maybe they’ve have real coffee. He worried he was going to have to eat bannock and moose the whole time he was there, whatever bannock and moose was. .
“I think it must be the poverty, why the women all have back packs.” Beca said. “ We have poverty in Africa but there’s way more poverty in Canada in the CBC news.” Since Solomon said he was going to Canada she’d downloaded some CBC news podcasts and thought the poverty must be awful especially since everyone was so old and no one took care of the old people but just euthanized them. “ I think the women are carrying food in their back packs.” She told Solomon. ‘So many of them are obese. I don’t think they share their food with the children like we do.” She continued. .
“I don’t like the men, Solomon. You have to be careful. On the feminist Utube channels all the men in Canada are violent rapists. Every woman in Canada is a rape survivor. I’d never go there as a woman. I’d rather go to Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia was elected head of the Women’s Rights Committee for the UN. . Canadian men are rapists and bullies. It’s no wonder all the Canadian women abort their babies. They’re trying to get civilized families now from Africa who like children to move there. I’d never move there. How can people hate children so much.? “ said Beca.
“You know me Beca, I’d like to go anywhere else but that’s where the course on counselling gay men is being held. Gay men are in the government and heads of churches there. That’s better than here or anywhere else in Africa. When I graduate I want to help the gay men here. The Muslims are killing them but the Christians still lock them up. I want to help them Beca. At UBC the course I’m taking is about helping gay men. If I’m going to be a counselor I want to be able to help them. We have no courses at the university here about counselling gay men. We have gay men, even in government, but no one admits it.”
“I know Solomon, you’re such a big heart. But we don’t have as many gay men as Canada. Look at their Prime Minister in the gay parade with his tongue out. Ethiopian men are virile.. Ethiopian men love their children. Canadians are gay. They don’t have any testosterone in the west. I think it’s their food. Ethiopians who have eaten Canadian say the food is awful. No spices. And everyone eats with forks and knives like they don’t want to touch their food. Ethiopian men, since we got rid of the DERG Red Terror communists killers and pigs, have all been really intelligent, Ethiopian men are gentlemen. They love their families. I loved when we had Emperor Haile Selassie. Canada’s never even had an emperor. They haven’t even had a king or queen. They’re as immature as the communists. Everyone is a worker with only the elite having all the wealth like the DERG..Canada’s a backward country. I don’t think you can learn anything about culture from them. They don’t even eat with their hands, that’s how backwards they are. And don’t even think of going swimming in the bay there. I saw on the news they’ve got sharks and killer whales right in their bay. I worry about you, Solomon. This is a really bad idea to go to Canada. You should go someplace safe like South Africa. They’re only killing white farmers there and the universities are better than what Canada has, even this UBC you think is so good because of it’s medial school and counselling.”
“I’m going to be okay, Beca. . I’m just going for a few weeks. I’m going to do this one course for counselling gay people. I’ll be right back where it’s safe and people love each other, before you know it.” Solomon said , trying to reassure her all the while wondering what was he thinking when he thought he’d go to Canada. There were no courses at the University of Addis Ababa on counselling gay men, that’s for sure. But Beca was right he could have gone to South Africa. The universities were the best and it was a lot safer and more civilized than Canada.
‘I hope so, Solomon. I hate to think of you being bit by a beaver, gored by a pit bull, attacked by one of their bears or cougars or have those gangs of violent Surrey men shoot you. I hope you’re not travelling on a bus either. I read a man was just sitting on a bus when another Canadian passenger chopped off his head with a machete. They put him in hospital then let him out.. I don’t know what they did with the guy whose head went rolling down the aisle of the bus. . Then I heard another story a terrorist who killed the American medic and the gay clown Prime Minister paid him $10 million dollars. Our government leaders in Ethiopia wouldn’t payAl Shabaab terrorists if they killed Americans. Canada is a terrible dangerous place, Solomon. . I don’t care if they don’t care who you have sex with it’s not safe. There’s too many Canadians there. I’d rather you come with me to Saudi Arabia or South Africa where it’s safe. “ Beca was close to tears pleading with him then.
“I know all the whites in Canada are racist and the men are all rapists and bullies but the UBC professor whose putting on the course is from India. He assured me its safe for a black man in UBC. He told me that Vancouver isn’t like Toronto. Black Lives Matter was in Toronto demonstrating against the police which are the most racist police in the world apparently. The Toronto police and the RCMP who ride horses are worse than the Africaner apartheid police used to be. But they’re all in the Eastern Canada. The police in Vancouver don’t even have cars. They ride bicycles. It’s not safe for a black man in Eastern Canada but Vancouver is mostly Chinese. I’ll be okay Beca.” Solomon said. “I ‘ll call you on my cell phone and send you pictures”
“Are you sure they have cell phones?” Beca said gathering up her lap top and finishing the last of her fine Ethiopian coffee.
“Yes, Beca, they have cell phones.” Solomon wasnot completely certain but was hoping they did. .
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