Betrayals, Leaks, Gag Orders, Transparency

Loose lips sink ships. We’re at war again.  Government demands that even doctors be silent.  Everywhere there are gag orders, paranoia, overbearing dominance, control freaks.
I read Fire and Fury and feel how had sad it must be to not know who to trust.  Lewinsky comes to mind and the people who used her. Not just Bill Clinton, in that age old two backed beast, but the competition.  Now Donald Trump moves into a nest of the enemies partisans and must somehow survive in the changing of the guards.  It’s happening not just in Washington but all over the world , over and over again. So much faith required. So much bravery and trust.  Then so much deceit and dishonesty and media like vultures.
I can’t help but ask what Weinstein did that he was sacrificed. Out of a high density of perverts pedophiles drug addicts and down right contemptible Hollywood animals, why is he put on display. And even worse all those who now bite the hand that feeds.  Was he the toughest to be martyred or did he hurt some one worse. Is he merely a token scapegoat.  Or is this just business as usual.  Scandal sells news and movies.
Here in BC the police said they flew their helicopters over Vancouver Island and found and caught a marijuana grower.  Since the whole of the island was a divided up gang run grow operation we all concluded that yes in deed one could be caught for growing marijuana but only if you insulted the police chief personally.  Drug dealing in BC is Billions in business and countless officials remain uncaught.  The rush is on to legalize marijuania.  So many children put through school with the avails of crime. So many criminals.
Even Jesus couldn’t choose 12 good men who would not betray him. Judas for the paltry sum of 20 pieces of silver betrayed God to the authorities.  For a day in the limelight women and men reveal or make up stories of sexual indiscretion. The truth is unimportant.  The ratio of fake news has shifted so far.   The lies merely muddy the waters.  Lawyers for both sides buy stories like Hollywood producers. But this is Washington and Moscow. There’s no decorum.  Politics isn’t pretty.  There’s just fibs and false accusation and rumors and rumors of war.
I am here thinking of the abortions I have known.  Happy with my dog and cat and wondering about her killing our baby.  How different life would have been.  And always the guilt that I couldn’t have done more. At least to have been arrested and jailed like all those other men betrayed I know. I did all that could be done within the law. I trusted the government. I trusted the system.  Then there was death.  A child no more. I live with guilt and shame.
I was so naive when I was young. I thought killers were another species. I thought those who betrayed and lied and made up stories were only psychopaths and sociopaths. I didn’t know how little people sold their honor for. I never realized the cheapness of life till I was so much older.
I’m thankful to my parents for that.  I am so thankful to my friends and neighbours.  When I was young we could rely on each other.  There was the farm too and Grand dad and the uncles. There was the whole extended family, a great army of family and friends that somehow in some way could be relied on. There was also the belief in the law and the government.
I was so naive.  It was years before the true disillusionment set in.  Seeing so many with addictions and knowing how little they’d sell their souls for, for the next hit.  The diseases of the heart. The diseases of the mind. The diseases of the soul. I read Job and just watched Noah on TV.  The question of purpose and truth are always there’s.
So many people angry at so many groups so that taking a swing at anyone might land a strike against oppression. Oppression is the buzz word. Halcyon cries.  Everyone is offended. Everyone is entitled. There’s violence in the air. There’s blaming and shaming.
Comic books with super hero’s abound.
I’m amazed each day though at the thousands of people who drive their cars between the lines.  I am moved by all those who simply show up for work.  I’ve set the alarm and will soon shower and shave  and dress. I’ve fed the dog and cat. A half century of doing no less.
There’s all these people who don’t betray, the steady eddies. Those folk who just go about their business. The lights and water are working today because of them.
I love to see the cranes in the sky line. There are women showing humps. Springs not here yet but if I just look there’s so much proof of the basic goodness of so many.  There’s all this evidence of hope and faith. People who are not like Judas.  People who don’t make false statements.  People who live for more than to be another critic, another ‘deconstructionist’, another arrogant, privileged ‘know it all’. There were 11 disciples who served Jesus.  More joined.
The governments in Washington, London, Moscow, Beijing, Victoria all continue to run because there’s good people.  A new dawn will come and there will be again transparency in Canada. The deals behind closed doors will grow fewer. We will know peace. A new day will dawn. These things cycle like the days of the week.
It’s Monday. I’ve just to get to Friday then I’ll have another weekend to recuperate.  Now off to the front lines. Off to face the lottery.  I don’t even know if my heart or brain will fail me but best be on my way.  It’s so hard to worry about ‘leaks’, ‘betrayals’, ‘theieves’, ‘psychopaths’ and ‘sociopaths. All the people who bite the hands that feed.
And we say , ‘some are sicker than others’. So we pray for those in government especially the cowardly beurocrats who nonetheless ‘suit up and show up’.
Thank you Jesus that I’ve awoken another day so can see what the Gods and Goddesses of Government will be up to day.  Help me to do my little bit, to serve you and to do my job. Help me fulfill my part. Help me play the kazoo in this symphony of life with as much sweetness and skill as is possible. And thank you for the dreams of sailing you gave me last night.  Fair winds and falling seas today.