Monday, February 20, 2017

Monday Clinic

It's a new day. I've another new clinic to attend. I feel like my fly in doctor days. New spaces. New staff. New routines. Thankfully some of the known faces. I don't do change as well as I once did . Or perhaps I' just wise to all the pitfalls. So many details. The people are beautiful. But the demand for perfection from the unerring beaurocracy. I am forever in Kafka's Castle and Metamorphosis. I so wanted to be in Hesses Glass Bead Game or Salinger's Franny oand Zooey.
Birthday's soon. Both Gilbert and Mine. His eye may need surgery. We'll both enjoy the new truck.He loves trucks. I believe it will focus me and serve to keep me here rather than running off to sea. I can't believe the level of insaniety. People rioting in the streets and calling it a demonstration.
I am grateful for this day. I loved that I dreamed of the water. Spring is coming. I am thankful to have meaningful work. I'm overwhelmed with the catastrophe of moving but it's been steady like the unloading of a sinking ship. I'm mourning the loss of space. I wonder where my desk will be stored. I have to unload stuff from the storage locker. I'm struggling with 20-39,000 files and all the memories. There are consrtant demands right now desperate demands. I'm working around them and through them. I swam and hiked yesterday. I have to maintain my health. I'm on my knees and I'm reading the Bible. The beurocrats are betting on my defeat chanting 'due, die'. They live to suck the blood of success and regulate to death all endeavour. Even now they chase
Me out of my home like the petty tyrants they are.
But they too are God's children albeit the stupid ones. Love is your job. Forgiveness is your job. Humor is your job.
Prayer and thanksgiving. Thank you for this day God. Thank you for coffee showed and shaving cream. Thank you for clothing pens and vehicles. Thank you for desks and indoor spaces. Thank you for Gilbert.
Now I best be hustling ever bustling ever rushing always places to go and people to meet and ever apologizing for being late unable to unwrap the clinging unable to say no to the desperate just happy in the present loving to be with this one person one person at a time but always depressed by the complaints of being late especially as I grow older and slower and the demands from above rain down like a torrential shit storm and the patients don't know their government doesn't care for their concerns because the Borg is all important. Assimilate.
Now I must go. Don't be silly. It will be okay. Suit up and show up and trust God

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