Monday, February 6, 2017

Gratitude, Vancouver, Trucks and Snow

Thank you God for creation. Thank you for sleep and dreams, Thank you for this body. Thank you for this day. Thank you awakenings. Thank you for my little dog Gilbert. Keep him well. Help his eye and back to heal.  Thank you for family. Watch over Graham in his travels and help Andrew and Allan in their studies. Thank you for the God kids. Keep them well, Thank you for my friends.
Thank you for the friendship of Tom. We spent a weekend looking at trucks. Marrio at GMC and Jessica at Ford have been most helpful.  I test drove both the F350 and the 3500. They’re both amazing machines with all the power I need for towing my RV. They have wonderful features. We loved the sky roof in the 2017 Ford Lariat and the interior of the GMC was like an SUV.  I love the new guidance systems for backing up and the sensor systems for telling that cars and objects are too close. I like the windshields and mirrors better vision a real safety improvement.
It’s the cost that’s an issue. With trade in of my truck worth $20000 I’m getting low balled and the difference is $50,000 I ‘d have to finance over 5 years with the hope that I’d be able to pay it off quicker.
"But $50,000!” I say. “I could get a sex change operation in Thailand for that.”  My patient came back with a marvellous transformation and the cost was only $60,000.  I love Leonard Cohen’s song, “I want a new face”. I could use a whole new identity.  In a matriarchal communist society with everyone offended castration seems inevitable for me an older white man, perhaps if I embrace the matter and go voluntarily I will finally conform to the demands for men in Canada to be women and perhaps like it better.  I might even meet a man with a truck.
On the other hand $50,000 could cover two years of sailing the seven seas. What am I doing here serving the sick and doing my Christian duty using my training and experience for the betterment of man. This 50% taxation and the government taking the money and giving my money to support overseas tyrants, billions this year alone in foreign aid and foreign aid is so corrupted and corruptible.  I really don’t like losing the money I earn but like little this government using it for purposes unacceptable to me as a Christian.  Spending the money on a truck is better because that employs people in a good endeavour and helps me personally.  Yet to have the money I must support this insufferable regime of thieves who are promoting abortion and drug abuse.
I should save the money for old age. I fear that any money Canadians bank on old age will be taken by the government. It is better to hide gold bullion under the bed or bury silver in the back yard. The government has become rapacious and is ruining the old who have no means to fight back.  Everywhere I see the old suffering and fear getting older in Canada.  The waitlists and shortages of services in health care and the high costs of treatment are frightening. I understand that the government wants to give us marijana and physician assisted suicide because they’re not wanting to spend the money on doctors or nurses but their own vacations and nannies.  Theres 20 times the beurocrats in our failing system as there are in the superior German system.  But everything with the Liberals is vote seeking so health care isn’t as lucrative as giving heroin sites and marijuana.  It’s all above my pay grade but it really makes paying high taxes insufferable given that the money is going to outrageous causes rather than building roads, education, health care and navies, the real things government is supposed to be doing not all this political correctness shit.
I could just work in the least capacity just continuing to pay the rent and take time off and have from With $50,000 I could take 5 to 10 major trips in the next 2 years at $5 to$10000 each rather than having a new truck.  I see increasingly that people who can’t afford houses or choose not to are enjoying the time travelling. II love to travel and owning a house was a full time job with little left over for anything but the house.  Some of my worst experiences are dealing with the constructions and repairs that go with houses, so many scoundrels out to pilfer the home owners and none of the laws to protect people unless they want to make an industry of small claims courts or hire a legion of lawyers.  Once a house was an asset but in the end my last house was a ‘target’.  The property taxes alone were obscene. Still with $50,000 I could put a downpayment on a house in Saskatchewan or Manitoba. In Vancouver I'd need $500,000 for a down payment.
So everywhere I look I see criminals driving new trucks, either criminals or bureaucrats.  Neither will get to heaven.  There’s a joke that shows a kid and his father. The father is reading the newspaper. The kid says, “I’ve decided to go into crime.” The father replies. “Public or private”.  “Steal a little and they put you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king’.
I think my first mistake was to give my life to saving lives.  Those who kill and destroy lives are doing much better than the rest of us in this world.
I saw no change with Obama, simply a black face on a corruption called Washington DC,  maybe marginally better than the corruption called Ottawa here.   The corruption in government is rife.  The attempt was to put a female face on Washington and call that change.   Now we have something really possibly different.  I am actually hopeful. Mostly because he’s against killing babies, people who don’t kill babies are more sensitive to other human life.
I like the variety of sexual and artistic and creative expression but it was moving from freedom to enforcement.  I watched as the Woman’s March excluded Christians for Trump.  The woman’s march was frightening all the man hate and apologies. Blamers abound today.
I’m thankful for this body.  I’m thankful for the possibility of a truck. I’m thankful for the trailer I live in. I’m thankful for the second hand truck I drive. I ‘m thankful for the food. I’m thankful for my friend Laura. We had a lovely weekend together.  She, Gilbert the dog, and George the cat and I hung out watching Netflix. The snow storm was really something this weekend.  We didn’t make it to church.  I laughed that they pretty much closed down Richmond where no one can drive without the snow and it was bedlam with these weather conditions.  I enjoyed talking with Tom. Laura and I went out and got a new bag. I need to carry files and have injured my neck carrying books and computers so many years. This is a bag with wheels and a handle and the capacity for locking.  It’s for my new itinerant practice. I’m going from clinic to clinic and shutting my office down because it’s just not brought peace of mind.  It’s highly costly and I can’t supervise staff and so often things don’t get done. Even Gilbert stopped liking being in the office.  It’s not a particularly caring place.  I realized in the past people have cared more and my office  was a happy place to go.  I liked the atmosphere in former offices but here the landlady is just a greedy person and she didn’t have the zoning for a medical office but wasted mine and all my patients time and resources to get herself money.  I don’t enjoy being a part of that sickness.  
Maybe if health care costs hadn’t been ‘rent controlled’ for the last 30 years with me making less today than when I started as a doctor I’d be more understanding. It’s a city for landlords but I agree with the Americans who say NAFTA is a farce because the government pays health care whereas Americans pay for their own. I was paid 3 times what I am here with 10% taxes in the US and overseas as a physicianI I’d have none of the regulation and social communism and cultural marxism which has destroyed a once great country. Political correctness is demonic.
I don’t know. I woke this morning with a muddle in my mind afraid to face the day. My office is so disrupted by this landlady and psychiatry has been destroyed to become a kind of junior neurology of psychopharmacology. Years of training as a psychotherapist and no one can talk any more because of fear of language and thought police.  I gave up doing surgery. I may as well accept that sharia medicine is here. So many of my colleagues tell me they don’t examine women, male and female doctors, avoid touching women for fear they will be offended.
I remember in India with my muslim doctor friend who thought it was ludicrous but the husband was examining his wife on the other side of a sheet hung for their privacy. The doctor was asking the husband what he could feel. That’s Canada’s health care system today.
It’s subtle.  You look at a psychiatric history 10 years ago and before and there’s a ‘sexual medicine’ survey or a question about ‘sex’ but today the university consults have nothing about sex. Asexuality is the norm.
I write prescriptions for methadone and enjoy this. It’s getting people off needles. I don’t have to think that much. I don’t need 75% of my medical training to do this function but I remember the happy doctor who gave up surgery to do hair transplants . He said he’’d grown tired of watching people die on waitlists and fighting with the hospital administrations for surgery room. Once a fine surgeon he was a happy hair transplant guy.
I feel that way.
The college is full of doctors who have given up. One told me “it’s just a job’.  There’s no calling. No profession. No higher realm of reaching for the stars. Just another beaurocratic job.  Policing and passing paper and sitting in committee meetings where everyone in government does this group reassurance.  White Ganging behaviour.
I’ve a bad attitude.
The weight of the waste and the deaths from fentanyl are weighing on me.

I have to write gratitude lists to get to work. Thank you for this computer. Thank you for these fingers. Thank you for sobriety. Thank you for the thought of a new truck. I worry my own now  won’t start.  It’s not started so often when I’ve needed it. No reason.  I just don’t use it enough to keep it charged up with this slow energy leak that a couple of trips to the shop hasn’t found an answer to.  It was fixed last year and ran for a year and a new battery this year has made it well. It works perfectly when I ride it weekly but let it sit for a while and then it’s ornery.
Laura and I had a lovely day in the snow walking down town and having a burger at red robbin. It was a nice day out.  The truck was joy in this weather. No one was downtown because of the treacherous driving conditions . I was so thankful for my truck.
I’ve got clothing and shoes and warmth and running water and indoor plumbing. I have friends in hospital and others fighting cancer. I”m blessed with these ‘cadillac concerns’.  I am so thankful for all the blessings I have. I talk with Jesus. I live with the Lord. I know I am safe in the arms of an angel. I feel my mother and father continue in a parallel realm or heaven or somewhere. Maybe they’re joined in my being but I feel the love of them and my aunt and grandparents and cousins. i feel part of this greater whole and sometimes dream of actual meetings where we’re all clapping and laughing drinking coffee in heaven. I especially love the old ladies there drinking tea.  
Heaven for me is a green room after the performance. All of lifes’ a stage.  I've done tragedy so now I'd like more comedy.
I am thankful for this relationship with the unseen god. The Cloud of Unknowing. The Mystery of the Now. The Present, the gift. I am thankful for God and hope that today I will do my best and know what it is I am to do and do it well. Thank you Jesus. IMG 4212IMG 4243  1IMG 4250IMG 4251IMG 4252

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