Morning, Friday, July 24, 2015

I’m awake.  Dreams were a mix.  Walking in shit one moment, being with friends the next.  No feeling of dread on a wakening. But not that deep spiritual peace either. I love those dreams where dogs  I’ve loved joined me or I’ve been with family now passed over. I love the big meeting dreams and the adventure dreams.  I have this recurrent sailing dream associated with a river and a peninsula.  It’s always an adventure and every time I dream that dream I’m further ahead or some aspect of the puzzle is fulfilled.  Last night I slept well too.
I’d watched Jerry Maquire on tv.  I don’t know what’s happened these last months but all these old movies are enjoyable to watch again. Especially loved the Quiet Man with John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara made in 1952. Usually I’m interested in the latest. I’ll see the new Bond movie for sure.  I even like going to the theatre to see a movie on opening night. There’s a buzz that’s happening then like being in the front row at a rock concert.
I used to pray the times of the monks.  I’d wake early and read the Morning Prayer from the Book of Common Prayer.  I’d recite my rosary at those special times. Then I’d know that there were thousands maybe millions of us worshipping together. Prayer is this beyond time and space experience.  I loved going early to church in Saipan with Dr. Willi Gutowski and praying.  Morning prayer is the best.  The birds are wakening and the sun is coming up.  But there’s Compline too.  So many times I’ve enjoyed going to Christ Church Cathedral in Vancouver to listen to the chanting and join in that special time of prayer, Evening prayer.  Now I say the Lords’ prayer on wakening and going to sleep. Sometimes it’s just enough to say please and thank you.  A day in my life has become it’s own life. I try to live as if this is the day.
I’ve been worrying lately about loved ones. Praying hard.  Sometimes crying.  Having conversations with the universe about my will and thy will. Sometimes I feel the burden of the universe is on me.  I feel a failure because I can’t resurrect the dead or walk on water.  Perhaps I can and perhaps I have but this moment I’m moving through molasses, fearing I’m off and missing something.  There’s too many moving parts.  Then it’s okay.
Today it’s raining. I normally walk the dog first thing and he has his dump after I’ve had mine.  He hears the rain and lingers in bed.  Such a suck.  I opened the door and he turned around and went back to bed.  I think it’s Laura’s spoiling him that’s made him such a luxury lover. She rubs his chest and back slowly for ever. Looking at his eyes you can see he’s just melting in side. His tongues lolling to the left.  Totally decadent. Now it’s raining and this tough hunting hound therapy dog goes back to bed.
I’m glad. I’ve had my share of softness in life,as well as the hardness so I’m glad to have my coffee sooner.
I’ve gone through the mail and Facebook.  The political propaganda is filling the pages before the election.
I’ve been fond of posting what our Prime Minister is doing.  Our media only presents partisan critique so I don’t get the first message of what the event or activity was, just constant opinion.  The media presents the country as a civil war yet we’re a democracy and this is our elected.  Had I not signed up for the 24/7 ‘news’ from the PM I’d not know that we’d signed trade agreements with Israel, South America and European countries. I’d not know about the meetings with India and Ukraine and Poland. I read BBC news because it’s a more reliable reporting of Canadian news and tells me what ‘events’ are going on around the world.  I’m tired of these ‘opinion’ pieces masquerading as news.  I’d like the facts.  There are no facts in that old time sense but at least the stating of events.  Like Canada signed a trade agreement with Poland.  Not the evil politician trying to gain votes and wasting taxpayer money ignoring he plight of women and children and especially aboriginals was serving the rich corporate interests on a pleasure jaunt in Poland.  I’m forever left wondering what the hell is going on in my own country because I’m not in on the Ottawa CBC jokes, the sides that their overpaid out of touch, fat cat CEO pushes.  Oh well I can wax poetic about the failure of the news department of our national media to inform citizens of ‘news’.  Their reporting is so utterly unethical that they make any government look saintlike.  The filthy kettle calls all stainless steel pots black.
I’m late.  I’ve got to run.  Shower.  Drive to work. Grab umbrella.
I’m thankful for the day. The rain is a godsend for the forests and firefighters. Hopefully people’s homes will be protected and wildlife will be saved by the rain. I don’t care about lawns. I liked the recent joke, what do you call the guy with the green lawn on a block of brown lawns, “Grasshole”.
Thank you God for this day. Thank you for family and friends. Thank you for work. Thank you for Gilbert. Thank you for the air and the water and this glorious little blue planet.  Thank you for all your blessings. May I serve you and my patients today. Help me do the best I can and be of most use to others this day of Grace.