Gratitude and Institutions

In the 12 steps the 4th step encourages participants to list their fears and resentments to institutions. Commonly in our pasts there are episodes of abuse, perceived or real, which get generalized from an individual or incident to a whole institution.  The consequence is a wide variety of responses from Lennon’s,  “No religion” song, to all manner of anti secular government to Pink Floyd’s anti education anthem.  I am as a guilty as the next fellow for holding onto resentments or magnifying a complaint by generalizing it to the whole institution. Doing step 4 I addressed these fears and resentments but in time let these old friends crawl back into my psyche.  Yet to know peace of mind I must first stop declaring war.  With a trusted individual I list the source of my fear and resentment in the 4th step sharing these stories of self pity and pain and rooting out any misunderstanding or delusion or misperception that may appear as well as burying these ancient wars on those old battlefields where they occurred.  Here I’m just listing the institutions and forgiving them and hoping for their forgiveness in return. I’m signing a peace treaty in my mind.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that I won’t forego humour or comment but I believe that sanity remains when we don’t give undue power to constructs. It’s alright for me to dislike a future action at the time but so often hatred and extremism come from the carrying over of all this material from the past which really needs to be let go of.  With my friend, sponsor, psychiatrist, teacher,   mentor and priest I have have already identified each incident in my past individual and specifically which cost me grievously and I perceived as negligence, incompetence, wantan irresponsibility, arrogance, and utter failure and contempt - yet we are all all human and even if I met a psychopath as a child and perceived all those wearing a particular hat as such for my future safety at sometime it would be wise to let go of this past set of childish wrongs and start a new slate. Sometimes I have to do this daily. For those who know me well I sometimes have to do this hourly when it comes to listening to media. It’s only this way I can truly endeavour to begin a new day without carrying over endlessly old hurts and old wars.

1) Government - I forgive government for any perceived or real threats or harm I have experienced.  I will endeavour to love my government and show gratitude for it.
2) Bureaucracy - I forgive bureaucracy for any perceived or real threats or harm I have experienced..  I will endeavour to love all bureaucrats and show gratitude for their good work and service.  This includes all the committees, parties, congregations, parliaments, congresses, senates, divisions,  customs, postal service,and all the licensing organizations,  etc that extend from government or the State as they relate to me.
3) Police and military and secret service  institutions - I forgive all police and military and secret service institutions for any perceived or real threats or harm I have experienced. I will endeavour again to show love for all police institutions and show gratitude for their good work and service.
4) Taxation institutions - I forgive all taxation institutions for any perceived or real threats or harm I have experienced. I will endeavour again to show love and gratitude for all taxation institutions for their good work and service.
5) Banking instittuions - I forgive all banking institutions for any perceived or real threats or harm I have experienced. I will endeavour again to show love and gratitude for all taxation institutions for their good work and service.
6) Insurance institutions - I forgive all insurance institutions for any perceived or real threats or harm I have experienced. I will endeavour again to show love and gratitude for all insurance institutions for their good work and service.
7) Religious institutions - I forgive all religious institutions for any perceived or real threats or harm I have experienced. I will endeavour again to show love and gratitude for all their good work and service.
8)  Education - I forgive the educational institutions for all perceived and real threats that I have experience at  their hands. I will endeavour to love all those associated with educational institutions and show gratitude toward them for their work and service.
9) Media and journalism, mass communication institutions (especially CBC) - I forgive all the real and perceived threats I have experienced. I will endeavour to love and forgive all these istitutions for their good work and service.
10) Health and dental - I forgive the health and dental institutions and professions for all real and perceived threats I have experienced at their hands. I will endeavour to love all those associated with these institutions and show gratitude for their work and services.
11) Business services - I forgive all business services for all real and perceived threats I have experienced. I will endeavour to love and have gratitude for all those  all those associated with business for their good work and service.
12) Transportation institutions  (including Air Canada and buses) - I forgive all transportation services for all real and perceived threats. I will endeavour to love and have gratitude for all those who are associated with transportion institutions for their good works and service.

There are certainly more and I will no doubt have cause to repeat this list on occasion at varying frequency. The point is I want now to turn over my deep resentments and fears as they apply here in my past and start a fresh day. I want to pray for all the individuals in these various organizations and forgive whatever slights I have had in the past and continue to carry in my being like old corrupted hard drive files that take up space that could better be used today as I strive to serve God and my fellows.  I wan to let go of all the heavy  baggage of the past that is interfering with my healing purpose to be a loving person,not one consumed by fear and resentment.
Thank you Lord. Thank you Mother. Thank you Father. Thank you family and friends.  Thank you Jesus who first taught me to "love my enemy" because God's love is boundless.  To the mystic zen master too the enemy is often the greatest teacher, just as the storm hones the mariners skills. I am also thankful to a dear friend who suggested I lower my expectations of my self and others and let go of the perfectionism of intellectual idealism.  We are human and these are our human creations and as Shakespeare would say we are but actors and actresses on a stage.  Even the stage is turning and moving in space and we lose perspective of this essential fact daily in the forgetful we are masters of. So let me forget my fears and resentments even that I might have more peace of mind and more capacity for love and service.