Sunday, February 1, 2009
Volunteer Virgin Exchange Program
I would not like anyone to think I'm taking the war on terrorism any more lightly than I took the war on drugs. No one doubts drugs or terrorism are problems. What has always been at doubt is whether the government takes them seriously. The government 'strategy' in the war on drugs ironically did nothing to reduce drugs but bought a whole lot of bullies new bully bling in the way of helicopters, fast boats, missiles, and such. It further destroyed confidence in government, terrorized the population and removed most fundamental freedoms of a democratic society. The war on terrorism with it's continued insistence on fighting violence with violence has destroyed international confidence in western governments, reintroduced torture a la mode, destroyed the economy of the western world and done nothing to reduce terrorism. Ironically the terrorists always appear to have hand me down second hand bully bling which makes one wonder if stopping new bully bling might not do wonders for reducing the supply of terrorist bully bling.
Consequently I gave some thought to the problem. The terrorists, mostly sexually inexperienced moslem bombers, appear to be blowing up the world for their masters to get virgins in heaven. Kennedy asked the country, to consider not what it could do for the people but what the people could do for it. In Victorian times, mothers told their daughters to lie back and think of England.
Would it not be possible to offer therefore a Volunteer Virgin Exchange Program for any sexually inexperienced moslem bomber's bombs. The government might consider further compensating the virgins with American real estate considering what deals they could get at this time thanks to previous government fiscal programs.
As I see it virgins who would agree to be with these sexually inadequate men in exchange for their bombs obviously would have to set a minimum limit on the size of bomb which warranted the exchange. This would naturally require some show and tell and perhaps smaller bombs might be exchanged for perhaps more dubious virgins. Government beaurocracies could well work out the details so that very soon terrorists and virgins could be together wholly distracted by toddlers and teen agers living heaven on earth.
As a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush I believe this would be a much more sensible and likely to succeed program. Further once a terrorist has one virgin it's very unlikely that he'll want a whole lot more but will indeed get a job like most married western men to have an excuse to get away from the home.