My office came with a large old wooden desk, a chair for the patient, and a coat rack. There was a small side examining room with the doctors examining table only. I could do minor procedures there and would. I had an extra room which in time became full of free samples. I simply couldn’t give them away fast enough as more were always being supplied.
I’d like to give a prescription and a free sample so if there were any problems the patient didn’t have spend the money on the expensive medication. The samples worked well this way. They saved a fortune for patients and identified allergies before the patient had committed to the cost of a month supply of medications.
The secretary offices and large waiting room were at the other end of a long hall where a ramp lead up to the inside of the hospital proper. In time I’d be wheeling wheel chairs with women delivering babies from my office to the delivery room, or collapsed old guys needing to be admitted to the medical wards.
My first job was to hire a secretary. I failed miserably at that. Nobody told me she was what I was later told was the ‘town bicycle’. She came with excellent references from working at the best government offices. I’d learn later how she got those married men to provide such glowing accounts of her performance. She was pretty well dressed, very smart and very efficient with excellent typing and organizational skills. She really was competent. The trouble was she was quite simply a ‘lazy cow’ as the other girls explained later. I had to fire her in a matter of weeks because she simply did not work. She did her nails. She flicked her hair. She plumped up her breasts. She sashayed. But she didn’t do office work.
I’d simply not been brought up in a family, community or church where people behaved this way. It would be years later I’d subspecialize in borderline personality and anti social personality disorders. I was to learn a whole lot more about people as my work continued, much more than they ever even intimated at in my medical school. She was furious when I fired her. No reports typed, desk disorganized, multiple charting errors and yet this tremendous emphasis on ‘personality.’ No character and all personality. She wasn’t nice to the patients either. Didn’t like wheeling folk in wheelchairs down to my office. She had actually been preferentially booking people she liked and refusing to book patients who she didn’t like who were indeed sick. The nurses found her fishing around in the hospital chart and it would turn out she was trying to get ‘dirt’ on people in the town. Everyone expressed concern about her after I’d hired her. I suspect she was given a week or two to show some new leaf but when it wasn’t forthcoming word came to me of her deficits.
I was totally immersed in this new position, terrified that I was missing something. I was seeing 20 to 30 new complex’s patients a day, taking over from a grand old doctor who’d practiced there for decades. His notes were excellent in their own way but frankly he knew most of the patients intimately and had no need for explanations. He was efficient. He was one of the wonderful older country doctors who knew everyone by first name and had delivered half the town. He’d been Bob’s mentor. I could see the lifetime of amazing care and concern that this man had put into his work. I hoped I could do the same. However, so much of what was being asked of me in the office visit, simply wasn’t the standard fare of hospital and internship medicine. There’s so much vagueness in early disease presentation. I’d study every night and every weekend more than I’d ever studied in medical school driven by a concerning complaint, sign or symptom knowing that a person’s health or life depended on my me. It was perhaps the steepest learning curved I’ve ever been on. I’d also systematically do complete history and physicals on complex patietns to bring me and their chart up to the date.
Bob was the very best of colleagues, a constant source of encouragement and helpful ‘tips’. Part of my going to work with him was the high regard he had from my friend and his teachers. We’d all lunch together in town often when I worked there. I was truly blessed to be among the finest doctors all dedicated to providing the best care to the people of this town. Bob had subspeciality training in obstetrics. Mike had worked in old veterans hospital in Winnipeg becoming as close to a geriatric internist as one could be. The town made the rounds and settled into the three separate practice. Bob was much loved by the young families , and the old families that knew him as the towns’ favoured son. He also attracted the wild bunch. Mike had the old people. He also liked to listen and write prescriptions so he attracted a lot of the farmers who liked a man brief and to the point. While Bob and I were extroverts, Mike was an introvert. Bob was the hockey and sports doctor living in town as well. I attracted the more educated, getting most of the town leadership, ministers, teachers and oddly Hutterites and Natives. I also attracted Schizophrenics. They liked me. No one else seemed to see them as I did, as failed poets. I got their ‘communication’ . I also attracted the depressed and anxious. There it was, the marketting process at work, and each of us had our niche. We’d all see everything and did call one week on and one week off. Tough at times working but it allowed for a good social life for all. Mike and I lived in Winnipeg. Bob despite being off call would come in to emergencies especially car crashes with multiple victims. He was truly the town doctor of old in a new sports jacket.
Mike’s lovely wife was his secretary and an extremely competent and efficient beautiful woman was Bob’s secretary.
My secretary was a different kettle of fish altogether.
I had never fired anyone. It took me at least two weeks to work myself up to it. I talked it over with Maureen and Bob and Mike. When I talked to Bob about firing her I learned to my shock and horror that the secretaries had been betting on how long she’d last or if she’d become my mistress.
Bob said, “She told Mike’s wife she didn’t plan on doing any work but instead was going to fuck you and get you to get her a secretary to do the work.”
I’d learn later from Bob’s secretary, “ All she did since she came to work here was brag about her skills in bed, then men she’d manipulated and all the bosses she’d fucked. “
I really was shocked. I’m not an innoscent by any means but I was married to a gorgeous doctor who was brilliant and a cover girl model. She was my best friend too. I wondered where in this grandiose woman’s world she’d think I’d be interested in her. Maybe if she’d done the work and made my job easier I’d have a better attitude.
The 4 inch “fuck me” heels in the office, the short mini skirts and low cut blouse, all the sexual weapons of the fairer sex, weren’t lost on me. I saw them but they just didn’t entice me. They weren’t even a distraction. I was totally absorbed in the all out war against disease. I had a third of a town of patients. It was my job to make sure they were all well. I was reading every spare moment I could get, checking back through my predecessors notes. checking all the books, I’d brought with me. I’d shortly make a run into the University book store for more books on lesser problems, dermatology, and family medicine. I was all set to handle heart attacks or a strokes but I had to quickly learn how best to deal with atheletes foot. The local pharmacist would be a great help. I got to phoning him to tell him what I needed but I only knew the generic names. He’d tell me what medication he had and I’d write the prescription for that medication. This was before the nationalization of pharmaceuticals and the rise and scandal of the generic industry.
Instead of doing her job I had this lazy cow playing cat in heat and I was quickly feeling the lack of support. I was beginning to do my typing. I”d been a secretary so I could replace her but it didn’t make sense that I’d be doing the typing when there was so much clinical work to be done that only I could do. Over the years I’ve found many self centred people simply don’t understand the ‘team’ and instead of working with one another spend their time and think they’re very clever doing the ‘least’ work. I didn’t know anything about her back story and felt betrayed that the other women hadn’t warned me. I was even miffed that Bob hadn’t told me about her history but Bob grew up in the town. He lived in the town and simply would not divulge any of the gossip unless it became necessary. He was trying to protect his town and not wanting to skew my view, He generally had a lovely laissez afire que se ra se ra approach to the social world. He loved hockey. His big thrill with being a doctor was buying a red Corvette. He had his house and he lived and served in the community with friends he’d had since childhood. He also let on that I was rather daunting because I was so keen and absorbed and so serious. The other doctors thought I was super smart and super good as a clinician though a bit too serious. I just saw all my deficits and never grasped this view of me even when I began to cure conditions in the community one after another that had been chronic and progressive. I found a whole lot of cancer early and did procedures with success. My surgical training made me ‘look’ competent. I was all doctor in those days and made considerable headway rapidly in addressing those cases that had befuddled my predecessor. Chronic disease is a bitch. By systematically perusing all the good ideas that had been tried I was able to hone in on the very thing that hadn’t been considered. Without all the trials before I’d not have got to where I saw success and everyone sung my praise. It was always just plodding analysis and review using the tools that my amazing teachers had bestowed on me. I didn’t cut corners and am very methodical. It’s stood me in good stead but it also means I’m regularly late putting more time in to cases routinely that I get paid.
Firing a sociopath was never part of my training. It really should be. I’d have to fire a couple of them in my life and these borderline sociopaths are hugely destructive and extremely dangerous. Other women are terrified of these women the men men are terrified of Nazi storm troopers. Female sociopaths prefer revenge best served cold. They use sex as a weapon and will wait till they can fuck their enemies child or husband or father. They use intermediaries as weapons. Their tools of the trade are indirect attack. They turn the police against a victim when they can. They report their victim to child services. They lie about seeing them having sex with children. The problem with the judiciary for many years was the psychological untrained male judges who were completely susceptible to pheromes and didn’t have the benefit of female input. Men are much more capable of recognizing and dealing with the Hitler’s in the world. Women are better equipped to recognize the female equivalents. I was cursed or gifted with a trait called ‘psychological mindedness’ , the ability to tolerate the tension of opposites and tendency to see both sides clearly and balanced. .
I fired her. I had no choice. She was hurting patients and someone was going to die because of her immature self centered ness. She was furious. A dramatic scene followed. The patients and later the town was entertained. . She had this psychotic idea of “easy street”. She claimed she was the best secretary who ever lived and that she was on the verge of asking for a raise because of the high demand of the job. She was also thinking any day now she’d have me in bed which she’d only shared with the other secretaries. I was literally just thinking of my patients. I usually am.
My focus on work has been an issue all my life. Because others especially some senior folk especially the ugly sorts don’t have it, their morals and ethics are that they would , if they had a chance, fuck a beautiful girl. Unless their position gives them the opportunity they don’t get it on the basis of their looks or natural abilities. I’d come from theatre and dance and television. I’d been married to what Angelina Jolie aspired to be and now was married to what Nicole Kidman might aspire to be. I had turned down as many models and beautiful women as I’d bedded. Married though I appreciated the view but loved my wife. I really wanted to be monogamous and would be for a decade at a time until there was no sex in the home and I’d be offered it elsewhere. This great actor with a beautiful wife and a reputation for fidelity said. “Why eat hamburger out when I have steak at home.’ It totally understood.
That was when I learned from the other secretarie’s how glad they were I fired the girl. They then shared that night over drinks her ‘grand plan’ and how delighted they were that I wasn’t interested. Bob was pleased because he really did just want to see his town safe. He was like this big bear father and simply was glad things worked out well.
What occured then was Lil. Lil had been working when I began work. . She’d been in another job where the work was ending. She was one of the most moral and ethical good people I’d ever know. Even though her job was finishing she’d worked out her contract because the company needed her. She was now free to apply. God works in mysterious ways.
Where the previous girls was the secretary from hell in a pretty blouse Lil was gorgeous, bright, amazingly competent in organization and managing anything, truly the secretary from heaven. She was the god send of all secretaries. I’d be blessed to work with a few of these truly extrarordianary people over and over again through my career. Lil was the first and in so many ways set the template for excellence. I’m sure in previous lives she’d been jugglers in circus while leading an allied military landing on the side.
She was married to a wonderful man who became my friend in time. He was a great country man, a man’s man, quiet but wholly competent. He’d a regular job but trapped in the winter. Lil was all about family. Everyone in the town loved her. Overnight my patients were happy. Further I had a number of new patients because one after another women told me that they’d not come to see me because they wanted nothing to do with the previous secretary. The church ladies, the good wives, and the husbands showed up.
Lil would make working in Morris a joy.
There are so many Morris stories rumbling about in my mind right now. So many firsts. So many exciting medical and surgical events.
But this was an early day story which solidified my friendship with Lil. It’s the first time I’d heard her rich and wonderful ‘belly laugh’.
I began to notice a half dozen women or so all in their late thirties early forties, very attractive, single or in very bad marriages. They kept coming each week with vague breast complaints and vague pelvic complaints. I would take thorough histories in all the intimate details asking all the proper questions and then repeat the breast exam or pelvic exam all over again. I always asked the woman to go into the examining room to disrobe and put on a white paper gown and then dialed Lil asking her to come along with the examination tray. When Lil arrived we’d enter together. Increasingly the women were stepping out of the room in pretty bras and panties and asking a question standing there , often asking me to repeat what I wanted to do.
Really I didn’t ‘get it’. I was just worried I was ‘missing something.’ There was nothing in my predecessor’s notes and they all seemed really nice women . Lil was always professional. She’d arrive quickly and I’d proceed to repeat the examinations as thoroughly as I could, speculums, paps, breasts exams, pelvic, Aj’s quotation and palpitation of the abdomen and not finding anything. There was something odd but I simply couldn’t put my finger on it. One woman moaned when I felt her abdomen. Another woman stroked my arm when I was doing the breast exam. Lil didn’t say anything, just the perfect assistant.
It just seemed peculiar these six women and their weekly complaints.
The final straw though was this one truly beautiful older woman who I’d examined several times by then walking naked into my office while I made notes waiting for Lil. She was holding the gown up with finger and thumb then leaned her back against the wall beside my desk thrusting out her ample breasts and voluptuous hips as she asked me,
“Could you help me put this on Doctor. I seem to have forgotten how to do it.”
Well, this was more than peculiar. I said, “I’ll get Lil’ and escaped from the office to find Lil in the hall wheeling the examination tray before her. She was startled to see me. I didn’t say anything but followed her back into the office. The lovely lady was gowned, her memory having returned miraculously. She was lying on the examining table and I went through the routine pretty sure I wasn’t missing anything any more.
After she left I asked Lil to come into my office. It was one of the most awkward moments of my career.
“Lil, I’ve noticed here are about a half dozen women who seem to be coming each week with intimate complaints and I’ve been wondering if I’ve been missing something medically. But what I think I’m missing is that they are all trying to make a pass at me. I don’t want to sound arrogant or be unfair so I’m asking you seriously am I missing something.”
That’s when I heard Lil’s glorious deep and resonant belly laugh. She almost fell off the chair too. I could only wait. When she finally stopped laughing and wiped the tears from her cheeks she said, “We girls have been betting how how long it would take you to figure out something wasn’t right.”
She said, “You’re not missing anything medically. You’re quite right about your surmise. But you must ask Bob because right now I’ve got to go back and tell the girls.”. She left laughing and joined the other secretaries who continued to laugh when they saw me sheepishly walk over to Bob’s office. He was alone and his laughing secretary waved me in.
“I just asked Lil about a half dozen women who seemed rather forward , sexually. They’ve been coming weekly for pelvics and breast exams and I was worried I was missing something. It came to a head today with one of them walking out of the examining room starkers. I escaped and got Lil and finished the exam but asked Lil after. She told me I was right to surmise something was up but that I had to ask you.”
Bob said, “I knew” And smiling himself, “I heard the laughter too. You know how I don’t like to gossip. I’d hoped I’d not have to share this. Now I must. There was a doctor before me. He actually had that room. A tall black fellow from Jamaica. A brilliant surgeon. He had a problem though. He liked the girls. They liked him. And the town was happy to turn a blind eye on somethng that wasn’t that much of a secret because he was such a great surgeon and with my former colleague was keeping the hospital open. Men can find jobs in small towns but women not so easily. A hospital is a tremendous boon to a community. The trouble is, from what I heard, the guy wasn’t limiting himself to his single patients but also having a go with the married ones. None of the women complained . That’s the thing of this. It was the town’s lawyer at the time. Apparently this surgeon was doing his wife and billed him for his time. That was too much for the lawyer who complained to the College. The College investigated . He admitted it. He was a true gentleman and simply said that’s what he did where he came from. The women were asking him and he was giving them what they wanted. He said he didn’t like the lawyer. His whole response to the matter offended the college while he just left like it wasn’t a big thing. He hadn’t liked the cold and went back to his island. We never heard anything after that. I think the women were coming to see if you were going to provide the same services. Mike had a couple of women approach him but his wife stopped that. Did you hear the girls were betting on how long it would take you to catch on. I think my secretary won. She thinks you’re thick so she’s probably won the bet.” He laughed and we went back to work.
The women all continued to see me but somehow due to some female grapevine there were no more ‘factitious’ complaints. After that I relied more and more on Lil’s wisdom. I’d often ask her about a patient I was concerned about and she’d tell me the back story or what was going on socially that was highly relevant. This was critical with the children and teen ayers who’d have sicknesses to get them out of school because they were being bullied. She knew which women were being beaten by their husbands and which women were fooling around on their husband. She would only disclose information if I asked her directly and it was clear it had a direct bearing on the case.
Working in small towns I’d learn that everyone eventually knows everyone else’s business However in small towns there’s a level of respect and discretion which people in cities rarely know about or achieve. Bob and Lil were examples of this. Highly developed social animals with skills far beyond the average city dweller.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment