Gratitude Wednesday

Thank you Lord for bringing me thus far in this week. Hump Wednesday.  It’s the last hurdle before the downhill stretch to the glorious weekend. I’ve worked on weekends and evenings for months cleaning up mess and chaos and finding so much damage I didn’t know had been done. But then I was distracted.  It’s always thus. I’m distracted by life and death and the details get lost. But you Lord are ever there redeeming. Thank you for your comfort and the little things, the treasure. What more could I be grateful than the smiles of little friends the joy of friends , the coming of spring. Thank you for the light this morning Lord. Thank you for my sleepy dog. Thank you for this routine. Thank you for the song of birds. Thank you for the river and the trees. Thank you that it’s not raining. Thank you that it’s not snowing. Thank you that it’s warming up.  

Forgive me Lord for all the nasty things I’ve said to those idiots who believe in more taxation for themselves and us and want the government to get bigger and bigger and control more and more and take away our freedoms what little we have and thank you Lord for curbing my speech. Forgive me Lord for my talk about our prime minister who I regretful think is a traitor to this country and is bringing deep ruination to this country with the corruption I left the liberal party over years ago and now it’s worse, so much Quebec serving and eastern serving to the detriment of Canada as a whole and westerners especially. Forgive me for the anger I feel to the divisiveness of this government playing racial and religious favourites then calling us victims offensive for objective to there favouritism and vote buying corruption.  Forgive me Lord for this distraction.

I know that you would have me focusing on healing. I know that you would have me caring for my patients but sociologically all these selfish political decisions are hurting my patients and increasing the disease.  All the fear mongering of Climate Change and all the violent speech and rallies of the undemocratic are persisting in creating an atmosphere of war and encouraging drug abuse and escapism.  Displaced people without jobs are prospects of homes are increasingly turning away from the world to their fantasy life.  The aetheism and narcissism offer no insight or altruism or enlightenment. At least Lord it may bring us closer to you. Thank you for being all healing, all loving, all present. Help me to know you more. Increasing the mediation and healing of my own intellect and emotions.  

You know Lord anxiety is a measure of my distance from you so help me to have more courage.  I know Jesus commanded  Do Not Be Afraid.  Help me to be strong in you Lord. Help me to be ever with you.

Thank you for my dog. Help his eye to heal. Thank you for my nephews and sister in law. Help them achieve in their studies work and relationships. Help me be able to give them more as my brother would want Lord. Help me ever remember my brother as the great and kind and loving man he was.  I miss his wisdom Lord.  Thank you for my Mom and Dad and their love and kindness and thoughtfulness and you know I miss them dearly.  Thank you for the loves in my life. Thank you for the wonderful memories of love making and conversation and holding on to each other through storms and in quiet times. 

Life has been such a chronic struggle against beurocrats using all their resources and their laws and their infinite time to stop me advocating for my patients and fighting every day to help them.  They would interfere with every action and have repeatedly insisted with their hypocrisy how they want people to act on the frontlines from the ignorant and arrogance of their safe distant inexperience stupidity.  Forgive me Father for focusing on the negatives and help me be thankful for thise glorious beaurocrats who daily help me to help others.  

Lord help me change my attitude. Help me focus on the positives and see the successes and see that we are all working together and that the horrendous waste of resources with the infinite appalling committee meetings in the downtown eastside and all the old ideas proved poopy and now just repackaged are again being used to promote a few individuals to the cost of all. Oh Lord help me see the positive if only to recognize that these people are going to make great fertilizer one day.  Stop me from feeling superior but help me to maintain an open mindedness and maybe they are going to redeem themselves because you are in charge. Stop me from focussing on the negatives and the little pictures.  Help me see the positives and be more loving and more understanding.

You have taught me to view these people as ‘sick’.  They hold power and authority and are terrified themselves for their cushy fat cat jobs far more than they deserve with their limitted education and low IQ and lack of anything but loyalty to kissing the ass of the person above them…..see Lord this is not helpful…this is the monkey mind…help me to quiet this thing of fear and attitude and instead see the positive and look for the goodness in these sewer rats.  Again Lord stop me from going there. Protect me from my own fears and guide me forward. Help me to focus on the positive. Help me to see your love and your hand in all that is happening.  

I have a judgemental mind at times and you know I am afraid as I grow older and realize that the end is near. Help me not project my own demise on the world and become and embarrassing thieving fool running about demanding billions and saying the world is going to end because of ludicrous climate change ideas of crazy baby boomers who are so grandiose narcissistic and pampered they can’t believe they are going to die individually so have this megalomaniac dream of world dominion and how they’re going to save the planet. God get this kids away from their fucking hollywood superhero movies. It’s more tortoise than rabbit. We’re plodding forward.  It’s the little things that matter.

Thank you for the fact that I have learned routines and daily shower and feed my body and please Lord help me exercise more and eat less and yet eat more wholesomely. Help me get the work done that has piled up because of the betrayals and negligence and lies.  Help me to get through this storm and let me know fair winds following seas and sunshine .

thank you Lord for my friends in program and in church and in this community. Thank you for the god kids and their parents. Thank you for Laura and the joy she brings Gilbert and I with his presence and care. Thank you for her humour. Thank you for the friends like George and Arch and Willi and Phillip and Sam and Tom and John and Phillip and Mac and Dave and Wes and Carolynn and Jackie and Vivian and Allison and Aim and Hannah and Mida and Dick and Peter and and Bill and Bill and Allan and Victor and Bill and Garry and Kirk and Jon and Nick and Vivian and Karen and David and more as I think of all these people that I know personally and have always enjoyed and they’ve always been there for me and for them. My social life is rich and I’m blessed to know these incredibly fine human beings who are doing so much good. Help me to spend more time with them and to avoid isolation and stop me from my tendency to self pity and focus on the loss rather than all the blessings.

Thank you Lord for this day. May I do thy will. May I serve you.  Thank you for the teaching of the Bible and the Big Book. Thank you for the wisdom of the men and women who have gone before me and have guided my path.