Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Wreck Beach -Vancouver's Nudist Beach

It was my annual, every 10 year, day at Wreck Beach.
I drove the Harley over to West Marine. I bought the last two zinc straps that fit my sailboat.  It was a very hot day.  I drove on to Jericho and Spanish Banks. The ocean looked lovely. The beaches were full of beautiful people sunbathing, swimming, playing beach volleyball. Vancouver sky line idyllic.
 I didn’t bring my bathing suit.  Wreck Beach was just a short ways on. UBC is a terrific campus.  I  parked the motorcycle leaving my leathers and boots in the locking saddlebags. Thankfully, I had my sandals along from boat painting.
It’s a long hike down to the beach.  I was impressed with the new installed state of the art washroom facilities.  I think I peed in the ocean or the bushes the first time I came to Wreck beach some quarter century past.  It was less a carnival then and more people were naked.  There was a clandestine outlaw atmosphere with people selling drugs on the beach.  Lots of sex in the bushes.  Hippies and such.
Now it’s uptown with party boats in the bay.  I walked down to the far end.  Along the way I noticed that the ugly women were mostly clothed.  They should have put bags over their heads.  I think clothed people at a nude beach are like the people who don’t wear costumes to costume parties.  They’re the same ones who don’t bring toilet rolls to Rocky Horror Picture Shows.  Immature voyeurs.  Sick puppies. The adults were sunbathing nude.
Maybe half the beach was naked. Lots of topless women young and old.  Lots of guys dangling.  Some really dangling. One fellow in particular dancing with iPhone and ear plugs.  Bouncing. Naked he had no pocket, for his iPhone.  He was holding that.   Bouncing. Odd sight without the music accompaniment.   I wasn’t looking anyone in the face. Mostly looking straight ahead.  Certainly didn't stare.
I’ve been on Wreck Beach only about a half dozen times over the years, mostly it’s a tourist thing.  Something  I do sometime when I’m in Vancouver to remember we have this place.  Like doing the Grouse Grind. I’ve done that about as many times too.
Last year I took my little motor boat over to Wreck Beach and swam ashore leaving Gilbert onboard at anchor.  Stepped ashore and turned right around and swam back to Gilbert. I was mostly testing out the engine and gas range.  It was an event. I still remember  the old brown leathery guy and gal who looked like forever sun lovers.
This year it seemed less like the Wreck Beach of bygone years, where people went to smoke dope and drink, but more like the European nude beach. Maybe it was because so many girls had their bottoms on. Also there wasn’t the men’s part at the end.  I remember decades back when I’d been down this far and it was all guys, a very gay beach scene. Not any more.  Not today. I was looking for “privacy” and walked all the way to the end. There were women and men all the way out where the guys had once been.  I found my secluded bit and undressed. For a bit I burned.  I’m celtic.  I got red and hot then went for a swim with a seal.  I slipped going in.  Noticed my wrist bleeding when I got out.
A fully clothed chinese girl stopped to talk to me. I was staunching the blood with my towel, naked. She kept taking peaks. I wasn’t offended.  I couldn’t help but think of all the women who’d shown off cleavage and then had hissy fits.  I noticed on the way back the women were all peaking.  Not at me. But at the other blokes.  I’d just been swimming so had an excuse like George Castanzas.  A sea gull was staring at me.  I got in my jeans and climbed a million stairs up to the road. I think I’m ready for the Grouse Grind again.
I could go back now. it’s just a nude beach. Like Europe.  Probably with everyone into medicinal marijuana they don't have the energy to climb down to and up from Wreck Beach.  They’re all wasted on their couches in the city.  Wreck Beach is where the traditional healthy nudists are hanging out along with the beautiful topless university girls.  The gays are no longer a city there either because they have so many other places to be.  Men and women are mixing. The whole gay straight thing is breaking down.
I was impressed that I got to swim in the ocean naked. That's something I usually do from my sailboat.  It was heavenly.  A perfect day. The way it started I didn't think I was going to get off the deck chair.
I loved riding the motorcycle back from Kits to Burnaby.  Gilbert was glad to have me back so I could throw him the ball all the while I barbecued.  Summer in the city.

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