Hay Bay Family Christmas 2018

Gilbert and I have had a truly blessed and wondrous time this Christmas at Hay Bay. What a joy Adell has brought to this home. The nephews are great. And of course the dogs.  It’s been a highlight of my life to be welcomed home. . I thank my father and mother and family for these moments.  Shredding the frequent sense of isolation and alienation in this gathering of love.

The last time I was at Hay Bay my older brother Ron was dying.  Kingston Hospital and staff and Napanee outreach were all wonderful. But Adell and  boys, Graeme, Andrew, Allan and Tanya, Andrew’s wife were the real hero’s. Adell was the stuff of legend. Ron had told me when I asked personally, “all I want is to have more time with my family.”  It was so good that he could return home with his family. He loved looking out this window as I am today.  The family gathered around and held him close.  He was a truly great man. . Till he was bed ridden he was planting fruit trees for future generations.

This Christmas Tanya announced a child on the way. I’m to be a Grand Uncle. Ron would have loved to be here.  He was in spirit. The whole family, Grand Parents, Parents, Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, Nephews, Neices all seemed to gather close when she shared the news.  At Christmas.  A new baby coming.  

 I felt my brother everywhere, thought often of  our childhood with family, the many Christmases before kaledoscoping through my mind, friends and family, the ex’s, love and caroles. Christmas music, turkey dinner, cranberries, turkey dinner left overs.
Adell  beamed at the prospect of being a grandmother.  I remembered my mom sharing that special moment when Adell told her of the beginning of Graeme.  

Allan and Meagan announced their engagement.  A lovely sapphire ring.  Sparkling in the Christmas lights.  Jodi, Meagan’s delightful mother, came right out and said it, “good we’re closer to having more children about.”  

I loved these two mothers and their love for the children and their futures. What great leaders they are.  

So it’s another year.  Gilbert, blind and old played with his cousins. Pepper Graeme’s cockapoo made close friends with Gilbert. Eva, the little love bug was mischievous as ever and so glad to run with Pepper and Gilbert. The trip was worth it if only to see the three playing together on the front lawn .  Walking with Graeme and me around the property was rewarding too. First Gilbert found the dead fish and rolled in it. Then Pepper found the dead fish and rolled in it.  

 The swans on the lake were a treat. The snow and the rain and sunshine all so welcome. 

Melvine, Adell’s cousin has a great sense of humor. The laughter here was so bright. The wood fire.  Uplifting music. Faith. Hope. Love.  

I loved going to St. Mary’s Christmas Eve service enjoying the caroles and the sermon.  Jesus Christ is born.  Jesus Christ is Lord. Hail the new born King!.

Connecting again with my cousin Ruth Anne was terrific too. I had that warm sentimental heart feeling, that relaxation I rarely feel in the war zone of my work.  Everyone’s offended and everyone is looking for an excuse or law suit.  False accusations and fake news. No more truth. The air is thick with the smell of drugs of one kind or other.   

The spirit of the flow is here  My heart sings.   It’s wonderful to have family.  Merry Christmas.  I’ll always remember this Christmas. Thank you Ron. Thank you Adell. Thank you Mom and Dad, Uncles, Aunts, cousins, nephews. Those who have passed are angels now gathering around this family.  The air is filled with their prayers.  Hello to the grand ones coming.  Thank you Tanya and Meagan.  

Hallelujah. Family Christmas at Hay Bay.  A real Rockwell Hallmark reprieve  A heavenly beach  in the middle of Canadian winter. Thank you. Thank you. 

Hay Bay Humans and Easter

You might think the Hays were Zoroastrian with our love of dogs.  But no, Adell and I actually got to the Trinity United Church and very much enjoyed the sermon, worship, song and communion.  A very upbeat welcoming church.  Perfect for Easter Sunday. He is risen! He is risen!.
Adell made fabulous meals as usual. She even gave a deep felt grace at Easter dinner.  We had a delicious dinner of meat and cheese fondue.  It was good to be together as a family.  Best of all, my brother Ron was at the head of the table.  Mom and Dad, were they alive today, would have been so proud of him.
I remember a colourful gorgeous African lady I met at an Azerbaijan Pro Life conference with Dr. Phillip Ney.  She said to me, “We Africans judge the wealth of a man by the number and success of his children.”   Ron’s three sons are riches beyond compare.  Adell and he are amazing parents. I remember them being so when the children were small. Everytime I spoke with them or visited, their children were centre of their lives.  They set the finest example and these men  today are the finest of citizens.
The youngest, Alan, doing his masters in child psychology, is highly sensitive and has a huge heart. I suspect he gets that more from his child teacher loving school principal mother.  Ron while really big hearted was always more the scientist and pragmatist.  With my engineer father he’d work on cars. At school following in his wake I’d hear of his exploits in the sciences.  He was a really smart guy, a real problem solver and truly courageous.  I’ll never forget him riding his little Yamaha 125 cc motorcycle across the country and stories of the ride through northern Ontario bear country.  He and Adell met in church and their love was radiant.  Then the amazing children came along with all their individual characteristics.
Alan's girlfriend, Meagan accompanied him.  I’d met Meagan before and really liked her.  Very bright and beautiful. I liked her mother and sister too.  So she’s pretty great to have around.  Allan stands taller. That’s what’s important.  Eva is his cockapoo and she adores him.  Somehow Eva likes the game chase and she’s got such an attitude.  Allan, or anyone for that matter calls her, and she sits down waiting patiently for them to come to her.  Allan walks the other way and she suddenly bursts into speed to be with him. Then she cuddles with the other love of her life, Adell.  Gilbert is probably the third love of her life but Pepper is definitely now in close competition. The girls have to stay together.
Graeme today is an engineer. He’s working in nuclear energy in Deep River after spending his first years in work with the fusion energy plant in Ottawa.  He makes movies for a hobby. I find this fun given my father’s love the 8 mm movie camera.  He had one of those little machines which cut and spliced film. Add to that my Dad’s scottish ancestry and thriftiness resulted in a collage of half minute clips of our childhood in the home movie days.  There’s Ron playing hockey, then mom getting out of the car, then the dog chasing me in the toboggan. Lots of movie camera as glorified still camera which brief clips of people waving at dad and his movie camera.  Ron continued with still pictures which he and Graeme do. But Graeme actually makes movies.  Straw films are productions with actors and props and sets and lots of lighting.  He even enters them for competitions which are by the looks of it a whole lot of fun for everyone involved.
His new puppy, Pepper was the centre of attention this Easter weekend.  She’s just adorable. The baby Hay that everyone couldn’t get enough of.  Well, the adults, she bugged the big dogs with her bottomless energy nipping at their ears, romping and chasing.
Tanya, Andrews beautiful, talented (and sometimes truly hilarious wife) brought Conan the Labradoodle with them.  He burst galumphing on the scene happy to be a part of everything delighted with the little dogs, and people, and life ,the universe and everything.  I saw Tanya first.  In the background Andrew was walking his robot.  It’s quite something to see.  A rover that follows him by remote control. He’s using it for some obtuse purpose.  It’s part of his masters work at university.
Ron meanwhile was working on his huge saltwater tank which with fish and crabs and shrimp and coral looks exactly like the reefs I scuba dived on in the tropics.  It’s like model makers, a true work of art but not just something one visits for a dive, it’s there all the time. At night the whole aquarium takes on a different character. I”ve always liked fish tanks but never made it from the fresh water tropical fish tanks to the complex chemistry environment my brother is fascinated with.  Both of us have chemistry in our background. His took him to agricultural, food science.  Now he enjoys managing this amazing underwater life ecosystem.
The weather was ambivalent while I was there, a sunny day that cleared away any remnant of snow followed by icy sleet and a scattering of snow that left the next day. Hay Bay was free of ice.  Ducks and geese and swans passed the property beyond the beach.  Tulips and crocuses were showing. Ron was watching the temperature and hoping it wouldn’t freeze his buds which had taken all the hot weather as indication to come. He’s planted an orchard of fruit trees. With the dogs we walked about the property looking at the trees and enjoying the best of civilized country living.
We visited Bath and Loyalist Cove Marina.  We shopped in town a bit.  We visited Ron’s aquarium store, Total Aquatics.  I liked the pharmacist we met across the street.  I’m used to doing this maintenance foraging alone but here it was a way to visit with Ron, or Adell or Alan.  The car rides were more tourist outings especially with Ron who loved to show me the special views he’d found.  Adell pointed out the goats. I liked the burrows.  Endless sky too.  Friendly rolling hills.
When it came time for me to go my plane was cancelled due to high winds. I was disappointed. It meant patients wouldn’t be seen and work would be backed up.  Colleagues would have to cover.  There’s so much work to get away for even a few days and so much work to make up when I come back from even a few days.  And Ron was tired. I felt badly about putting him out.  There’s only so much reserve. I know it’s lovely to see guests come but it’s always been even as good to see them go. And here was Ron having to deal with his brother and his CTScan appointment and all that anxiety.
I got away in the morning and Ron got in early for his CTScan so it all worked out. I even made it to the afternoon clinic so my colleagues and patients weren’t too put out.
All’s well that ends well.
Easter at Hay Bay was a special family time even if everything went to the dogs.