Journal - Aug. 15, 2025

It’s a rainy day.  I’d thought to take the motorhome out to chilliwack to pick up the Vespa and bring it back to town but I realized H&E only need to see the motorhome.  I will phone and book and apt or get the courage to drive over there.  Maybe even today. But really I’d rather be safe inside.

The other day watching other vehicles come and go I felt I wasn’t safe anyway. I have fear of being hit or hitting another vehicle. I’m waiting for insurance and repairs on my camper. This is my primary home,.

Then I think I’m aging and time is passing. I’d like to be using this primary vehicle. It’s like when I first had my sailboat. The fear of taking it out in the ocean.  

I am going to be driving south in the winter and gaining experience without forcing the process. I’ve thought also that I could hire an instructor to drive with me but that’s really not necessary. I have the skill just lack the experience .

There’s the swimming pool and I could do lengths and feel better with that. There’s dog walks on the river and the lack and a beach walk we haven’t explored.  

There’s lots to do.  I think another coffee and maybe reading is in order this early morning rainy day.  

He’ll need to walk too .  The laundry needs picking up.  

I was really tired by the end of the work week yesterday, depression, soul sucking.  Trying to motivate people to get out of the foxholes of their lives. I’m a bit like that today.  I don’t judge. I just listened to Goldman’s (white jacket, black art) book on Kindness and figure I have empathy but I’m a little burnt out, not with the individual but rather with the system. I’m jaded by government. It’s pay day today so I’ll feel better when I pay off my credit cards and get cleared away.  Money is turning out to be a spiritual hurdle these last few weeks. I have more than I think in terms of material security and wealth yet I’ve been anxious , “fear of economic insecurity’.  Possibly it’s just aging and having a decade to clear out the final debt , this motorhome, and working when I could just walk away. My struggle with being adult and responsible.  

I have to put my faith in God.  I have to pray more.  

All is well.

I am truly blessed.  

I do have to keep moving. I’ve things to do and must not procrastinate but i have no real agenda for today. It’s all okay

Thank you God for this day. Thank you Jesus. 

I loved hearing at the Burnaby Fellowship Men’s Meeting

“I begin my day by saying, “Thank you God for my sobriety. Thank you I’m not in the penitentiary.” Thank you God I’m sober. Thank you I’m not in th penitentiary.